Yorkville High School - Annual Yearbook (Yorkville, IL)

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F fd Wan 700:60 Q44 2600065 ammfzq X64 7767 In the year l947 Stephen Ashley my t riously disappeared from Speech class and nothing was heard about him for twenty years Now we bring you Stephen s own report on his return I arrived in my home town of Yorkville a little bit dazed by all that had happened and as I was trying to get my bea ings something from above descended upon me When I had collected myself I looked up and there in bold letters was written Sandall s Speedy Service by Safe and Sane Pilots Taxi Company Bernice herself alighted from the plane and untangling her hair from her face she gave shrieks of delight upon seeing me and at once started to put me straight on the changes that had been made in the class of 47 I was informed that Iane Fisher has settled down in a vine covered cottage with her five little darlings and she and her when I was told that Don Stevenson is buying lace do1l1es for Marshall Field and Company I all but fa1nted Thus I was prepared for almost anything I gathered from Bernice s prattle that Bebecca Miller has four little cheerleaders of her own and on the side writes advice to the Lovelorn Also her friend Eleanor Skau is planning to run for the presidency in the next election lf she succeeds it seems that Eleanor will be the first woman presi dent of the United States Bernice told me that Bill Kahle is a famous dramatics coach at a school for the feeble minded and that fohn Murst holds the position as Doctor of English at the Yorkville Girls School 40 A tht point in the conversation Bernice remembered that she had a pas enger so she opened the door for Everett Kinsel She quickly gave the details of Everett s latest Broadway hit Peculiar Woman starring Alice Nash We decided to have breakfast downtown and on the way Everett said that fack Larson is now a missionary in Siberia where he has nearly all the polar bears converted We passed dear old Y I-I S on the way and they told me that my dear cousin Dale Perkins is now the Superintendent Marion Griswold has taken over the coaching pOS1 tion and has a championship team this year We also passed a new bL1llC11HQ and I inquired about it They explained that Buth Ahrens owns the largest small town paper in the country the local Flash One famous part of her paper is the comic strip fean Rogers the Legs written by Bud Bretthauer It seems that Bud s character is almost as famous as Lena the Hyena As we walked along lnoticed that Vivian Elliston finally bought a share in Hen ker s Hardware Store for the sign now reads Hen ker and Elliston Hardware Company We came to the Bright Spot which is now un der a new owner Steve Bazan fThe sign read Steve Cooks Them As You Like Them also Star ring Irene Aben Blues Singer J We went in and Steve was so glad to see us that he said the food was on the house so he sat down to chat He told us that Gene Ehrhardt is making millions with his new Better Bouncing Basketball and that Ann Harris is running Harris Home for Homeless Dogs with the famous slogan You Leave Em We Iove Ein Steve was bubbling with 1nformat1on about Edwin Stanton the multi millionaire and his in tContinued on Page 421 I s.e ' 'I t 'S ' ' ' , ' hubby raise chickens. This shocked me a little but f ' ' ' ' ' I 1

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21,6 Wm Wcnkk Wm: femwed Q X14 7?67 ventron The Stanton the only radro controlled tractor on the market and Orlo Smrth s Hatchery wrth the smgular chrcken that lays double yoked eggs Suddenly Steve dashed to the radro tele vrston set turned tt on and polnted to the clock whrch mdrcated B UU When what to my wondermg eyes should appear but Martm Mortensen readrng the funmes to the krddres lt seems that Martm has taken over folly foe s famous program and rs under the sponsorshrp of Frtch s Better Baby Food All at once the program was drowned out wrth a cry Extra extra read all about rt l Gor don Smythe has atven up hrs steamboats and chalk to become leader of the Antr Democrat party Mr Smythes flrst statement IS that he w1ll run Mr peared to be down my alley so l bought a copy of the Flash where under the mam headlmes l read that Wayne Larson famed Congressronal speaker gave a 1ery speech aga1nst women rn Congress Upon read1ng the artrcle l found that thrs speech crushed V1rg1n1a lewell s hope of berng re elected for Congress m the commg electron l was leafma through the paper when l came to a per ume ad whrch satd Here rt rs Boland Gorn s latest per ume Strrckenl l went on and came to the hterary sectron and aw two names whrch were amrhar ferry Frrel had revrewed Aly ce Setbert s book How To Get Muscle lt eems that ferry and Alyce have both made rmlhons on therr hterary works ln the Town Taltler l learned that ferry 42 Matlock rs a dashmg play boy ID the nerghbormg town OfPClV1l1Ol'1 of whtch lwas rnformed Newark has become a suburb l wa read1ng a ew of the ads when l came to an mteresung one lt was Thurow s Bureau for Men Wantmg Dates lt looks as rf Loure rs strll havrng trouble wrth all hrs women At last l came to the sports page The brggest event of the year rn the world of sports rs the recent announcement of foe Dlrst as the commrssroner of the VVomen Natronal T1ddly Wtnks League and Shrrley Mason as captaln of the All Amertcan Team whlch wtll meet the Bockets of the Moon rn a mp and tuck battle At last all of my classmates had been found and l could srt down and rest but wart l only had thrrty four and I knew there were thrrty frve Then rt dawned Fred Wayne was not accounted for l asked Bernrce about hrm but she dtdnt know and nerther drd Steve but Everett sard that rumors were that Fred was srttmg on the top of the Emprre State Butldrng wartmg for l-lalley s Comet Thus we have grven the frrst accurate report on the return of Stephen Ashley So we leave Stephen a httle melancholy untrl he saw the hand some Jeep and brrght red manure spreader whrch had been adorned wrth a gold plague honormg the memory of one Stephen Ashley I f I . . . g L A Ralph Glenn for Mayor of Chicago. This ap f I I . . 1 I l V VI A A . . , s. F3 ., . . -