Yeshiva University - Masmid Yearbook (New York, NY)

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The Yeshiva Caper: The sun was glaring off the waters of the Hudson as the helicopter swooped low across the George Washington Bridge. He looked out over the unending expanse of burned out tene- ments, bodegas, and car repair garages, until he spotted a brown monolith of a building jutting out of the grey asphalt. He motioned to the pilot. Why don ' t you set it down by that gigantic pile of books over there? he said, pointing. The pilot (YC ' 57) gave him a queer look. You mean the library, don ' t you? Oh, is that what it is? He shrugged. Looks like a pile of books to me . The pilot landed on the roof and the passen- ger got out. He was immediately surrounded by a gang of about twenty men, dressed only in shorts, their bodies glistening with sun tan oil. A radio blared somewhere. Where do you come off landing a copter while we ' re sunbathing? one of the group asked. The man ignored him. He turned to the others. Is this Yeshiva University? The group laughed. Museum tours are on Tuesdays only, buster , the first one said, spitting. The man turned. Look kid, I don ' t like your attitude, so beat it! Make me! The man swung at the boy ' s head. The youth ducked, pivoted, and grabbed the man ' s out- stretched arm. He pivoted again, pulling, and the man flew through the air, landing hard. He got up slowly and brushed himself off. Pretty good stuff. Where d ' ya learn it? The boy grinned. I ' m a member of the Karate Club, and the Wrestling Team . The man whistled, long and low. Boy, I ' ve got a lot to learn about Yeshiva U. . He sat in the president ' s office. Lamm sat at the head of the conference table, talking. He had been talking for 45 minutes. ... Now synthesis is a philosophical term which . . . He interrupted. Excuse me Dr. Lamm . Rabbi Lamm . Sorry, Rabbi Lamm, I . . . ' President Lamm . Whatever. Sir, I ' m a detective. I ' m not very interested in synthesis. Right now I ' m more inter- ested in finding out what is going on. If you can help me in any way . Help you! Rabbi Lamm shouted. How can we help you if you don ' t give us any information. You don ' t even know why you are here! How can we help you?! I found a note in my office. It had two letters on it, Y and U. I spent three weeks puzzling it out. I called Yale. I called Yugoslavia. Nothing. Then one night I get a phone call. All the voice says is: ' When it ' s cold you shiver ' . What does it mean?

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o o 3 (D 3 Theme 4 Dedication 10 Administration and Faculty.. 12 Student Life pictorial 52 Graduates 62 Honors 120 Activities 122 Sports 146 Yeshiva College Jubilee .... 164 Graduation pictorial 175 Advertisements 182 Senior Directory 213 3

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Lamm reached for his phone and said: Send in Tauber . A gigantic man strode into the office. The detective started to sweat. He had been in sim- ilar situations, but never exactly lil e this. The man ' s face — it was covered by a mesh metal mask. What it covered? — the detective didn ' t want to think about. Hey Lah! , Tauber said, saluting. Lamm quickly appraised him of the situation. When he got to the phrase: When it ' s cold you shiver , Tauber paled. Sounds like a fencer , he exclaimed. You mean, stolen goods? the detective asked. Tauber glared. No, I mean fencing, like epee, foil, saber . Oh. So that means that the caller was on the Fencing Team . But what does it mean? Lamm and Tauber both said at the same instant. They looked at each other. I don ' t know , the detective said, but I ' ll find out . The plan was simple. He would enter the school as an exchange student from Afranistan. This would enable him to blend into the student body, and to infiltrate deeply into the maze of Yeshiva College. But first he had to register. He entered the registrar ' s office. He saw people rushing back and forth, papers flying, phones ringing. He was amazed at the way the people were efficiently wasting time. After watch- ing for a few minutes, he tripped a hunched-over man carrying a tremendous stack of books. Look what you ' ve done now the man said, dusting himself off. Sorry, but I had to get your attention . But now we ' ll be delayed another three years. These catalogs must be dirt-free. They must . . . Look, I just want to register . The man got up slowly. He looked suspiciously at the detective. Register? But the semester has already start- ed . I have special permission from the Dean. I ' m an exchange student from Afranistan . Then he added wrily: My father is the crown prince . The man ' s eyes widened. He licked his lips, and started breathing quickly. Did you say Afranistan? Famous people, mon- ey, movie stars, money, swimming pools, money That ' s right , the detective said, pausing, and I ' m prepared to pay in full . . . cash! Desks, files, typewriters, secretaries were all dimly noted articles as the detective was plunged headlong Into a cramped office. The man was pulling him into a chair. On the office desk was a sign that read: THE BUCK PASSES HERE . My name is Edelstein. What ' s yours? Shabtai Tsvi Leinovich . I didn ' t know they had jews in Afranistan . Well, after the revolution the only books avail- able were old copies of Scholem ' s Major Trends in Jewish Mysticism , which sort of got us interested. I see Edelstein said, a perplexed look across his face, and have you already registered for Jewish Studies? No . Well, you have to decide if you ' re going into RIETS, JSS, or — Edelstein sniffed — EMC .