Yeshiva University - Masmid Yearbook (New York, NY)

Page 16 text:

Piouse found himself in the broad hall of Reubens and shivered in the chilling wind that blew dbwn the corridor. He lay his hand on his sword-hilt and called out, Hello? Only the echoes answered. Piouse pushed open one of the many doors in the hall, this one saying Library on it. The room was full of books, sprawling encyclopedias, holy tomes, pamphlets, magazines, none of which seemed to have ever been opened. Perched on an Encyclopedia Judaica was an owl, who cocked a yellow eye on Piouse and shrilled. Rawrrkk! What do you want?

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1 1 kJ After their narrow escape, the three heroes contin- ued into the forest. The sun was setting. Verily, ' twill soon be dark, said Zealos. There must be an inn of some sort nearby, said Indifferaunce. Yet we must be careful, ' advised Piouse, for in such uncharted wilds as these, there are undoubtedly lawless folk who would do us harm. The knights began to lose their way. They resolved to enter the first inn to which they came. To their sur- prise, they happened upon not one small inn, but three mighty buildings in the middle of a forest grotto. Sit- ting on a rock and enjoying the cool night air was the Innkeeper. They saw that he was a man of extraordi- nary height. Good sir, said Zealos. Be thou the Innkeeper of these fair and pleasing mansions? Yes, drawled the man, as he slowly turned to look at them. Hmm, I know your faces. Are you registered for Orientation? Have you picked up linen yet? Here, fill these out. He thrust at them an armful of complicated-looking forms, and sank into repose. The knights were discom- fited at having received such a welcome. Carefully cra- dling the forms in his helmet, Piouse approached the man once more and said, Good sir, we are but three young knights who seek the Fortress Avihsey and the monarch Belquinor. We seek lodging for the evening. And now, I pray, do thou arise and show us to good chambers, for we are footsore and weary, having just escaped the cave of the awful Registragon. The Innkeeper stood up and said, You know, I am a bit of a psychologist, and can tell from your manner of speech that you have an Oedipus Complex with masochistic overtones. Did you hate your father? Nev- er mind, I ' ll put you in Reuben ' s Hall. Here are your keys; touch them. He held out a great ring of keys. Piouse laid his hand on them and vanished instantly. The Innkeeper turned to Indifferaunce. You, my young friend, seem more ' with it than the other, said he. I will place you into Morgue Dorm. The process was repeated. Lastly, for you, my hero, he said to Zealos. You will sleep in the cradle of tradition, Rats Hall. Zealos gingerly touched the ring of enchanted keys, and dis- appeared. What had become of the knights?

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Piouse doffed his helmet and said politely, An it please thee, Sir Owl, I am Piouse, maiden knight, in search of the awe- some . Are you classified? rasped the owl. Is your card punched? What is your social security number? Surely, good Sir Owl, said the bewildered Piouse, I wot not of what ye want. I ' m looking for a place to sleep. Rawrrkk! shrieked the owl. Down the hall. You ' re from RIETS and require authorization from Charley-pop. Author- ization, classification, administration, humiliation! Begone! The owl flapped his scrawny wings so powerfully that the dust flew, blowing Piouse out into the hall.