Yeshiva University - Masmid Yearbook (New York, NY)

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is in competition with International Retaliations Society which is in competition with the Irrational Aberrations Society, which isn ' t funny. Student Council does not define the most crucial word in Yeshiva history — guests. Students bring guests. . . . resort to individual interpretation rather than Lipshitzian Revelation. Henry Keller resigns but to no avail; he ' s not president yet. Bim. Hy Levine. Lamm, Feldblum and Frank take Dr. Kisch ' s philosophy course. I This is probably the third year but as we ' ve already started the sentence you ' ll have to bear the anachronism.) Weltaanschaaung iss ven vee look from one viewpoint out — zo, zere itt iss . . . Damon and Ryan become discolored as the boys accept a Reddisch tinge. If members of parliament could only sit in on Speech 4, they would learn some procedure. The class is divided into two factions — right and left, or up and down, or back and front, or. upper and lower, or any such political denominations. The Constitution Blockers consisted of Lamm, Rackovsky, Haber, Hertzberg. Lamm. Rashbaum. Bim. Lamm, Cohen. Lamm and Stadtmauer. (You know, the beauty of this history is that you can ' t tell who wrote it). The Constitu- tion Deformers consisted of Gus Solomon, Bill Solomon, A. Fredman, Jack Adier, G. Solomon, Natie Gordon, Gil Shoham, G. Solomon, S. Orenstejn, S. Aronson, G. Solomon, and S. Alpert. (You know, the beauty of this history is that you can ' t tell who wrote it. ) Wiszhy Wishnitzer is most efficient and Orenstejn greatest secretary. Krakower filibusters all day. Reddisch learns to smile ... he has to — Bim! The Moors, mmmmallted. izznat so, hellauh . . . our vocabulary is growing but the main cliches are yet to come. Wacholder learns the art of circumlocution and pontification. M ' Davidman v ' ad Twersky lo kom ke ' Wacholder. (Another salient example of someone ' s erudition.) Commie builds up Shtudt Stadtmauer. ( Shtudt is not a Sephardic pronounciation of another word.) Lutz is BASIC (watch this word). Barry Ginsburg hails from the town that contributed Phil Goldman and his brother-in-law to Yeshiva. (This seemingly innocent bit of irrelevance is due to Bury ' s bringing in a $25 ad. ) For those who are interested, the town still stands — we can ' t condemn a whole community simply because . . . Yeshiva ' s Busting Out All Over. Ginky Churgin thrives as we who are in the Yeshiva division flock to him. Rashbaum, Hertzberg. and Shoham represent Baltimoron cheenuch — Lamm repre- sents Williamsburg . . . and Krasna twins alternately represent each other in com- ing to class. Ginky evens the score at end of term and tells them to share A. Please hand in your compositions on ' Matzav Hayahadut B ' America. ' It ' s getting late. It ' s later than you think. All supersubgartelian krechtzers do not take Litman until their last year. What is medieval about medieval philosophy? Smokey-Stover (hyphenated) presented with over-sized cigar by Logic class. (This happened in last year. I don ' t know why we ' re writing about it here.) The new buildings already look old. From an air- plane view, the new buildings are shaped as if Yeshiva were Fordham. The resem- blance ceases there. Dr. Linn still hasn ' t uh, uh, found, uh, the right uh uh uh word, is it? Yes, the uh right word, that ' s it. Ben-Zion is pontificating uh uh uh again. Well raise my eyebrows, Aaron Sittner! Linn again relates to class the oft-told tale of purchase of his yarmilke. We summon remembrance from things past when, at Augenstein ' s wedding, a chassid, admiring the yarmilke, inquired of the professor philologist if he had a shteleh. Tristan Rosenberg, our zinging Cherman pro- fessor, gains backing from ze growing Verein. Pazz ze beer, mother, I have a final tomorrow. French professor still demands. Spanish Department under Sas grows daily. Eisenbach who was taking Chemistry to fulfill his Physics requirement drops Lowan and majors in Levine. A Physics professor cannot be wrong, ethically so . . . The Dean of Men is seen with a wistful look — he won ' t have most of us till senior year. There ' s the dean (Ed. ' s slip — supposed to be Dean) where ' s Levine? Hey, it rhymes. That won ' t be mentioned again — don ' t worry. The English Lit final turns out to be a near catastrophe. Quite unexpectedly, the students with insight did not make out so well. The halfway mark is here and we ' re still in the driver ' s seat. A Coiletch Hedge- 18

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(■li;iilrcu,sic-t ' ii(l(;n(i(:.H. Mr. IVIilli-r i« IikIIkI In I, ' . ,| l.ip-lill li.,jn - for I ' a.Httovpr iMturlah. Mr. Miller and liis daufjlili-r arc Icfl in llir li ' d. Ilir ic- fmiI |.-fl tlii-n; very lunfi. The purge is on ! Molniek cinlirare.s I ' .iniolofi) . ISini llie sjiaiiias ha- loiind liifu-fK at lahl u wixlon. Uraun eoMunandH Irrefjular Virlis — verh.H eunnol cdtnineiid irregular Hrauii. Dcl)l)y W( ' isenllial. our iiejii irar in our pirriiid of travail, i-nth hc;r »tay a» wf; «fnfJ our Freshman year, iril now lie Mr. Silverman whom we ' ll have to »| eak lo lieforc wc { o lo the Dean to have our re(|uest for a ehanne in jirof- ' rarii refunefl. It hadn ' t been so had — there ' s one corisolaliori ari way- As had a- ihings arc — it ' s hard to find worse. Superstition All of us MOW take I ' lcisher. hna !ine. !iO — yes Jif)- sludciil- to whom to tell last year ' s jokes. Do you hear Dr. I itman? Dave Hosenh.ni lurdinr ' s leader of l )ndon and follower of Fleisher. Him conies lo class lale (one inniilh lo he exact I suitcases in hand . . . jusl arrivnl froiii ( iaii foi iiia. M -i-lirr l.r( ,,riic- professor of under- statement. Sophistry is ncA m dcpartnicnl ou iiii ilil lr the Sciences. So there you are — Yeshiva boys first remove the locket. Al Solomon now enters the fleisherian troupe. The purge begins — Miller is given red herring treatment. Mandclbaum is de-Joyced towards the end of school year. He is given green light to leave if he WISHES. Dean WISHES. Mandelbaum does WISH. Mandelhaum opgeWISHt. Lauer, Glaser and N. Lamm get inside story. Glaser and Lamm graduate. Lauer purged. Berts (Rogoway and Mondl take office. The class meetings are a nul class. Red Finkelstein happens to Yeshiva I Lo Aleichemll. Jack Adler and Chile Wenger also link their fate with ours . . . Russian Roullelte is more merciful. Bim predicts the coming of the Moors. Shoham and Shulman become Levine ' s faithful disciples. The lime now is twelve months B.A. Moish Lamm ' s tongue is now purple. Hydrogen sulfide lies en odor. Now become familiar with the smell . . . I ' ll be right back. Wolf. Krumbein, Finkelstein and Lamm tackle the final. Net result — a school of poor fish. Rabinowitz. Kallner and Rudoff compete for honors (or rather dis- honors). (Ed. note — no subtlety necessary; they were only lab assistants. I Incom- pletes reign . . . students cuss like hail . . . s ' no use. There ' s the dean I Ed. note — Dean) where ' s Levine. LTncle Izzy takes full control of guidance for the perplexed. Yeshiva students become perplexed. L ncle Izzy ties Mr. Baer for popularity honors. I ' ncle Izz honors Yeshiva with ties . . . exercises Papal authority ... a cardinal knot, eshiva becomes minyan mad. Threatens delayed purge. All violators of attendance face three man squad . . . questions bv young Hurwitz are bare and to the point. It s not my fault . . . the President gave us orders. But Mr. (Professor) Young. I had a weak fingernail. Our Dear President has said that all brothers with weak finger- nails should be discharged from the beautiful halls of our GRACEd dormitory and even though vou do not attend minyan daily it is assumed thai you at least put on a tie every day. Dr. Braun still demands. French Lit., however, proves to be most educational course. Que s appelez vous. Monsieur Spear? Nineteen years old. Spear under- takes poll of Bais Yaakov poles . . . participates in debate Is Bais aakov here to stay or is it L ' Chu V ' Nailcho? Beelus takes affirmative side and has upper hand. (Ed. note — This is a joke. There is a sentence in one of the holy hooks Bais Yaakov Tchu v ' nailcho. ' Do you get it? Our Literary Editors insist on showing off their wonderful erudition . . . ah. education, it ' s just — just — just — useless.! Aaron Krauss Krucified by Rabhi Gorelick. professor of Talmud. Hyniie Krantz discovers Mr. Abrams and explores. Steady Arthur Schnier s dorm room is a haven for hair brushes and the Cohen brotliers. The school again becomes dramatic con- scious. If not for dramatics, students would remain unconscious throughout entire year. Sam Glaser becomes immoral and founds Sam Glaser Mortal Society. This 17

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cnlion lias Icfl iis slif lilly iiriijj Iml il liaTi I iufci led us with iiiiytiiiiiK iiKuralili ' as yet. P(Hlantry — Mama. Ii.iu ( .uih- |Ih .li.ln ' l , ,,n„- l,a.ky Wh.-r - ' s IJIi.,! KiM-iil.ach. what lia|)|iciic(l Id I ' clii LculiiMilin. |j|,|, VVi-is-. Ike Azosi-. clc.? I li ln ' l - ■.■ lh -(ii llii- i-iu: Did llir . . . ? — Hush, Imsli, llicy w ' ril away dti a lurj;. ' Iiip and lln woii ' l he hack. You w» ' they were Chemistry majors . . . —Oh . . . — And nii lindcisland. cnic uaiilid In ■ n In Vh-d Sihool. other- wrni hark home, and one liilchcd ulT lo Syracuse. - Docs Ihal mean that I can jn) loo? — No, you re stayin; licrc and finishing. ' . No« run ahmj. ' and major m something like a good little Junior. — Is it necessary to major? Can ' t one hmadin himself? Docs one have to restrict himself to one phas( of knowledge, one line of thought, one flimension of wisdom? (Literary, huh? I — No, you can always lea c colie ' e . . . Oh, have you heard? it ' s (juite the thing to he a Physics major in college. Nine out of every ten Hunter High School seniors jjrefer fellows who can integrate. Izzat- so? Gus Solomon. Bert Mond. Chile Wenger, Leon Levy, Phil KaLsman. Harry Weinstein, Paul Teicher and Fud Lieherman all storm the Physics front, as Dr. Arnold N. Lowan becomes a full-time full professor, head of the new full Physics Dep ' t. Three full year courses are given. Ah, what fulls these mortals be! Wwwwell! Anyone who doesn ' t know what e to the x is just doesn ' t deserve to live. H one is sufficiently mature, one just knows! You may have written exactly what the book has word for word BUTT I can read between the lines. The intoxicating Hydrogen Sulfide fumes lured four unsuspecting juniors, who joined Gerry Krakower. Wishy Wishnitzer and Wolf Helmreich in the Chem lab. Gil Shoham. Dave Rosenhan. Moish Kranzler, and our editor Hertzberg threw reason to the winds and for some obscure reason or other (Med School or lust for life) chose work. Jos h gives up Math, English and the Ghost and is heard from no longer until he — Well . . . The retreat, or shall we say the organized withdrawal of Editor-in-Chief Sol Blumenfeld and Associate Editor Lou Lauer from the college caused some changes in the Commie staff. Moish Stadtmauer becomes Ed.-in-Chief with Rakowitz and Leon Levy (back from Israel) as News Editors. Hilty Dryspiel in at the Sports line. Henry Keller is President of the Student Council this year. Now, perhaps, his resignation will accomplish something. Bob Kurtzman Veeps and Arkv Landes in as Sec ' y ( Nu, so you ' re mentioned. Big Deal ! ) . Dr. Luchins, who took a leave of absence, was replaced by Isaak Orleans. In this course you must analyze every event carefully. That ' s Psychology! If I do some- thing there ' s obviously- a reason. Now. why do you think I gave you this exam right now? What is tlie underlying factor? Ah. you hate your father. Bim. Bim! Brother Smiley, Director of Guidance at Yeshiva I where else — Young Israel? — Yeah, there too, he ' s a big man) was appointed lo instruct the newly instituted Freshman Orientation. The lab assistant to his course was often seen in the Dorm late at night serenading everyone with exquisite verbiage and scintillating phraseol- ogy-. Your majesty, may I interest you in this exquisite tie. this voluptuous yarmilke. this lascivious arba kanfos? Danny ogel is the new instructor in English replacing Mandelbaum. who as you recall replaced Miller, who as you may remem- ber replaced . . . What will happen? ho will replace whom and when? Lloyds of London refuses to insure his stay due to the prevailing high mortality rate. YL ' , according to the Juniors, has a tremendous Agriculture School. The Messers Twersky. Weitz. Vi ' ohl — all stalwarts of the Landsmenschaft ( IRS i — cul- tivated the fields of Political Science which in turn fertilized their patterns of thought. 19