Yeshiva University - Masmid Yearbook (New York, NY)

Page 21 text:

(■li;iilrcu,sic-t ' ii(l(;n(i(:.H. Mr. IVIilli-r i« IikIIkI In I, ' . ,| l.ip-lill li.,jn - for I ' a.Httovpr iMturlah. Mr. Miller and liis daufjlili-r arc Icfl in llir li ' d. Ilir ic- fmiI |.-fl tlii-n; very lunfi. The purge is on ! Molniek cinlirare.s I ' .iniolofi) . ISini llie sjiaiiias ha- loiind liifu-fK at lahl u wixlon. Uraun eoMunandH Irrefjular Virlis — verh.H eunnol cdtnineiid irregular Hrauii. Dcl)l)y W( ' isenllial. our iiejii irar in our pirriiid of travail, i-nth hc;r »tay a» wf; «fnfJ our Freshman year, iril now lie Mr. Silverman whom we ' ll have to »| eak lo lieforc wc { o lo the Dean to have our re(|uest for a ehanne in jirof- ' rarii refunefl. It hadn ' t been so had — there ' s one corisolaliori ari way- As had a- ihings arc — it ' s hard to find worse. Superstition All of us MOW take I ' lcisher. hna !ine. !iO — yes Jif)- sludciil- to whom to tell last year ' s jokes. Do you hear Dr. I itman? Dave Hosenh.ni lurdinr ' s leader of l )ndon and follower of Fleisher. Him conies lo class lale (one inniilh lo he exact I suitcases in hand . . . jusl arrivnl froiii ( iaii foi iiia. M -i-lirr l.r( ,,riic- professor of under- statement. Sophistry is ncA m dcpartnicnl ou iiii ilil lr the Sciences. So there you are — Yeshiva boys first remove the locket. Al Solomon now enters the fleisherian troupe. The purge begins — Miller is given red herring treatment. Mandclbaum is de-Joyced towards the end of school year. He is given green light to leave if he WISHES. Dean WISHES. Mandelbaum does WISH. Mandelhaum opgeWISHt. Lauer, Glaser and N. Lamm get inside story. Glaser and Lamm graduate. Lauer purged. Berts (Rogoway and Mondl take office. The class meetings are a nul class. Red Finkelstein happens to Yeshiva I Lo Aleichemll. Jack Adler and Chile Wenger also link their fate with ours . . . Russian Roullelte is more merciful. Bim predicts the coming of the Moors. Shoham and Shulman become Levine ' s faithful disciples. The lime now is twelve months B.A. Moish Lamm ' s tongue is now purple. Hydrogen sulfide lies en odor. Now become familiar with the smell . . . I ' ll be right back. Wolf. Krumbein, Finkelstein and Lamm tackle the final. Net result — a school of poor fish. Rabinowitz. Kallner and Rudoff compete for honors (or rather dis- honors). (Ed. note — no subtlety necessary; they were only lab assistants. I Incom- pletes reign . . . students cuss like hail . . . s ' no use. There ' s the dean I Ed. note — Dean) where ' s Levine. LTncle Izzy takes full control of guidance for the perplexed. Yeshiva students become perplexed. L ncle Izzy ties Mr. Baer for popularity honors. I ' ncle Izz honors Yeshiva with ties . . . exercises Papal authority ... a cardinal knot, eshiva becomes minyan mad. Threatens delayed purge. All violators of attendance face three man squad . . . questions bv young Hurwitz are bare and to the point. It s not my fault . . . the President gave us orders. But Mr. (Professor) Young. I had a weak fingernail. Our Dear President has said that all brothers with weak finger- nails should be discharged from the beautiful halls of our GRACEd dormitory and even though vou do not attend minyan daily it is assumed thai you at least put on a tie every day. Dr. Braun still demands. French Lit., however, proves to be most educational course. Que s appelez vous. Monsieur Spear? Nineteen years old. Spear under- takes poll of Bais Yaakov poles . . . participates in debate Is Bais aakov here to stay or is it L ' Chu V ' Nailcho? Beelus takes affirmative side and has upper hand. (Ed. note — This is a joke. There is a sentence in one of the holy hooks Bais Yaakov Tchu v ' nailcho. ' Do you get it? Our Literary Editors insist on showing off their wonderful erudition . . . ah. education, it ' s just — just — just — useless.! Aaron Krauss Krucified by Rabhi Gorelick. professor of Talmud. Hyniie Krantz discovers Mr. Abrams and explores. Steady Arthur Schnier s dorm room is a haven for hair brushes and the Cohen brotliers. The school again becomes dramatic con- scious. If not for dramatics, students would remain unconscious throughout entire year. Sam Glaser becomes immoral and founds Sam Glaser Mortal Society. This 17

Page 20 text:

us how to imprison syphilisation by the new Zipper Technique. Don-Dare is hero of hygienic lectures. Some of us go swimming in pool, others in sweat on the basket- ball court. Travelling to 28th Street becomes ordeal — students lose gym — get raw deal. The first good advice we get in First Aid is to call someone who knows first aid. This remains our motto till the end of the term. This was Arty-Fishel perspiration compared to the natural sweat we got up in Moish Kranzler s course in the Junior year. There are sonu- Ik) take Latin and Greek uilli llmli. A useful language down under and we don t mean Australia. Other colleges oiler Chinese — to be able to read laundrv tickets — but not eshiva. We learn Latin which is perfectly Greek to us. so that if we wish to travel to Latin-America where they speak Spanish we should at least know Latin. Ismar Lifshitz agrees that Latin and Greek are not dead languages — with whom is he agreeing? Not with an one 1 know — chas v ' chalilah. Dr. Floch is considered most desirable professor on faculty. Monsieur le professeur Braun initiates college men into his kindergarten . . . Orenstejn becomes teacher ' s right hand tongue (this is probably a misprint I. Rashbaum shakes his head and promises to take French for the rest of his life. Fiszman and Ish Cohen actually know the stuff. Braun demands we buy book . . . we ' ll never want to get rid of it. Second-hand books are bought from the Yeshiva book store. Je ne comprends pas. Fud Lieberman ' s Moici Boucoo. Braun demands that we study. Toutle Mend had French in T.V. Braun demands we suck French loUypops. We demand Braun stop demanding. Lamm gets a B plus, plus. Freshmen learn early that Dr. Linn chooses his words. Freshman — choose — word. Nation-alists get A-rating. Ruby Gross runs after presidency and gets in. Phil Goldman is vice. Gerry Krakower takes the Devine chem course and gets high- Jaked. Eli still can ' t balance an equation. The experiment usually works. There ' s the dean I editor ' s slip — Dean) where ' s Levine. Gus Solomon, Harry Weinstein, Elliot Eisenbach and Pete Lewinsohn take physics with Weiber. All this is done tongue in cheek as Benny explains the difference between mass and weight by saying sweetly if the answer is too small I multiply by 980 — if it ' s too big I divide by 980. The difference between A and B is attained through the same reasoning. The tongue is always in the cheek. Benny leaves in February and Dr. Lisman, a card shark, takes over. A certain stop watch and breakage fees were never heard of again. Scheinfeld and Twersky like Dr. Brody, to be sure. No one knows what the prof means when he says readings. Twersky and Scheinfeld produce tongue twisters in their competition for the love o ' Brody. Rosenhan sits in the back of the class and studies the prof ' s physiognomy. He doesn ' t double date Alexander however. Dr. Brody likes Scheinfeld and Twersky. (Editor ' s note — substitute Margalith for Brody to produce same effect.) A two thousand year old dream is fulfilled as Israel becomes a nation. Leon Levy goes over to protect her against her enemies. School given whole day off a posteriori after unanimous a priori decision not to come. Dr. Litman is not yet in Vogue. Some T.I. students take freshman English with Fleisher as the class receives hints of delights that our soph year has in store for us. Rosenberg has an ear for German songs. Terkel has a nose for news. Braun demands. Solomon, Ginsburg, Lieberman, Hertzberg take Math — Why, was it missing? Yukie receives Bury Ginsburg ' s love letters . . . There ' s the dean (Ed. ' s slip — supposed to be Dean) where ' s Levine? Rashbaum, Hertzberg, Lamm, Solomon and Botwinick take two F.A. courses — Fine Arts and First Aid. Phil Rabinowitz tells Cherubino Nallin about the Detroit Philharmonic and is only one to buy book. He gets his A. So does Conductor Kenner who changes records on victrola. Ruby Heisler works on Doc. Ruby Heisler works for Doc. Miller, another one of the many English teachers around, gives two Freshman courses. Daffinition — an English teacher is a transient, ephemeral being, in the hair today and gone tomorrow. Bygones will be bygones, quothe the Dean. Bye, begone! In a recent sociological survey among English teachers, which was held along the bread-line, it was found, they say, that many of them have pinkish — nay — 16

Page 22 text:

is in competition with International Retaliations Society which is in competition with the Irrational Aberrations Society, which isn ' t funny. Student Council does not define the most crucial word in Yeshiva history — guests. Students bring guests. . . . resort to individual interpretation rather than Lipshitzian Revelation. Henry Keller resigns but to no avail; he ' s not president yet. Bim. Hy Levine. Lamm, Feldblum and Frank take Dr. Kisch ' s philosophy course. I This is probably the third year but as we ' ve already started the sentence you ' ll have to bear the anachronism.) Weltaanschaaung iss ven vee look from one viewpoint out — zo, zere itt iss . . . Damon and Ryan become discolored as the boys accept a Reddisch tinge. If members of parliament could only sit in on Speech 4, they would learn some procedure. The class is divided into two factions — right and left, or up and down, or back and front, or. upper and lower, or any such political denominations. The Constitution Blockers consisted of Lamm, Rackovsky, Haber, Hertzberg. Lamm. Rashbaum. Bim. Lamm, Cohen. Lamm and Stadtmauer. (You know, the beauty of this history is that you can ' t tell who wrote it). The Constitu- tion Deformers consisted of Gus Solomon, Bill Solomon, A. Fredman, Jack Adier, G. Solomon, Natie Gordon, Gil Shoham, G. Solomon, S. Orenstejn, S. Aronson, G. Solomon, and S. Alpert. (You know, the beauty of this history is that you can ' t tell who wrote it. ) Wiszhy Wishnitzer is most efficient and Orenstejn greatest secretary. Krakower filibusters all day. Reddisch learns to smile ... he has to — Bim! The Moors, mmmmallted. izznat so, hellauh . . . our vocabulary is growing but the main cliches are yet to come. Wacholder learns the art of circumlocution and pontification. M ' Davidman v ' ad Twersky lo kom ke ' Wacholder. (Another salient example of someone ' s erudition.) Commie builds up Shtudt Stadtmauer. ( Shtudt is not a Sephardic pronounciation of another word.) Lutz is BASIC (watch this word). Barry Ginsburg hails from the town that contributed Phil Goldman and his brother-in-law to Yeshiva. (This seemingly innocent bit of irrelevance is due to Bury ' s bringing in a $25 ad. ) For those who are interested, the town still stands — we can ' t condemn a whole community simply because . . . Yeshiva ' s Busting Out All Over. Ginky Churgin thrives as we who are in the Yeshiva division flock to him. Rashbaum, Hertzberg. and Shoham represent Baltimoron cheenuch — Lamm repre- sents Williamsburg . . . and Krasna twins alternately represent each other in com- ing to class. Ginky evens the score at end of term and tells them to share A. Please hand in your compositions on ' Matzav Hayahadut B ' America. ' It ' s getting late. It ' s later than you think. All supersubgartelian krechtzers do not take Litman until their last year. What is medieval about medieval philosophy? Smokey-Stover (hyphenated) presented with over-sized cigar by Logic class. (This happened in last year. I don ' t know why we ' re writing about it here.) The new buildings already look old. From an air- plane view, the new buildings are shaped as if Yeshiva were Fordham. The resem- blance ceases there. Dr. Linn still hasn ' t uh, uh, found, uh, the right uh uh uh word, is it? Yes, the uh right word, that ' s it. Ben-Zion is pontificating uh uh uh again. Well raise my eyebrows, Aaron Sittner! Linn again relates to class the oft-told tale of purchase of his yarmilke. We summon remembrance from things past when, at Augenstein ' s wedding, a chassid, admiring the yarmilke, inquired of the professor philologist if he had a shteleh. Tristan Rosenberg, our zinging Cherman pro- fessor, gains backing from ze growing Verein. Pazz ze beer, mother, I have a final tomorrow. French professor still demands. Spanish Department under Sas grows daily. Eisenbach who was taking Chemistry to fulfill his Physics requirement drops Lowan and majors in Levine. A Physics professor cannot be wrong, ethically so . . . The Dean of Men is seen with a wistful look — he won ' t have most of us till senior year. There ' s the dean (Ed. ' s slip — supposed to be Dean) where ' s Levine? Hey, it rhymes. That won ' t be mentioned again — don ' t worry. The English Lit final turns out to be a near catastrophe. Quite unexpectedly, the students with insight did not make out so well. The halfway mark is here and we ' re still in the driver ' s seat. A Coiletch Hedge- 18