Yeshiva University - Masmid Yearbook (New York, NY)

Text from Pages 1 - 124 of the 1942 volume:

M A S M I D Another milestone passed On the rood to on ideal... YESHIVA COLLEGE JUNE. 1942 If This issue of Masmid marks the turning point in the history of Yeshiva. Behind uj are the numerous disappointments and heartaches that are synonymous with growth. Ahead lies a brilliant future, growing ever more clear as the years advance. Heralding this new dawn of Yeshiva has been a devoted and faithful group which bound its future with that of Yeshiva- striving tirelessly and unselfishly for the attainment of Its noble ideal. |[ To you who represent the realization of a hope nd a dream; to you, future guides of the destiny of Yeshiva, imbued with the ageless principles of our eternal Torah; to you — the ALUMNI ASSOCIATION OF YESHIVA COLLEGE, future torchbearers of Orthodoxy In America whose ranks we are happy anc ' prou d tc todc — we dedicate this Masmid. Three _j ; 3 SOCIAL HALL DINING ROOM SENIORS YE5HIVR COLLEGE o f Six u oun You are sitting near the window, gazing idly at the rushing whirls and eddies of passers by, when suddenly you espy him. There is nothing unusual in his appearance —he being of medium height and youngish appearance (not over twenty-one. you think): yet there is something about his stooped shoulders and intent glance that enthralls your attention. Is his appearance all that attracts your eye? Yes . . . no . . . there it is! It ' s the black scullcap plastered onto the back of his dark hair. Now everything is clear. He is the Yeshlva College graduate. Now you know that he does differ from his fellow pedestrians: they are merely going, but he is going somewhere. He has a goal and a purpose in life, and that goal is the advancement of his Jewish religion and American nation. Oh, of course you know full well that his curious combination of enthusiasm, and idealism, and know ledge will lead him into many a scrape. Countless times will he sally forth to do battle with all the gleaming corruption that he finds around him, only to return with shattered lance and bedraggled banner. His lances must be shattered upon windmills during his Quixotic adventures because the producers of wind are the chieftains and high priests of the people. But you also feel that as long as he exists as a type: not only exists, but grows stronger and greater with each passing year, decency will prevail. Turn the pages, then, and observe the crucible wherein he is molded: see him in the embryo: watch him while he poses in robes of state or disports In the light of relaxation. Observe carefully and mark well, for here is the Yeshiva man of ' 42. MORRIS CHERNOFSKY BROOKLYN. N. Y. GEORGE COHEN BROOKLYN, N. Y. RABBI CHAIM DENBURG MONTREAL, CANADA DAVID EISEN NEW YORK CITY Ruihliita lit ' nins III nitithenititics Deii lils in iitriitnl . ' icnihatics. He says thr Rahhinalp ' s his mission. He sicenrs it is his lifi ' s ambition. If so, tphy does this politician Waste his time as a mathemagician? Hebraist, fsrammarian. Whose graduation Follows on the heels Of ordination. One of Yeshiva ' s I icest creatures. Converses in Polish W ith all his teachers. Eight JOSEPH ELGART BRONX, N. Y. MiriKiiloiis sfl sliDl. Trrrl i. Ir l lu,„h. A linrfni ' tHis iihysiqiii- Anil a ilwiTY imlhiitk. MORRIS EPSTEIN NEWARK. N. J, Tall inul sandy, blur ry,,l ,lan,h. Actor, hantly ivilli ill) ' prn. Milil anil inrllou: iirll likiil frllou: Morris Krisliin. I ' . O. IS. HAROLD ESTERSON BROOKLYN. N. Y. Only man in hi ' to y n ho arliially kissril it hea: Sarrificeil a tricky knre To IratI his train to victory SIDNEY FINKELSTEIN HARTFORD, CONN. Nine Talmuils thr first lore Of Hartforils Fink Hut his knoirlrilgr of Bio Mnki ' s us blink. EMANUEL FISCHER NEW YORK CITY JEROME FISHMAN BRONX, N. Y. THEODORE FRANKEL FREE CITY OF DANZIG ALEXANDER FRIEDMAN BROOKLYN, N. Y. peuple roar ivilli sijlittiii sides. Or shake uith laughler on the ground. ' Tis ample etidence to shoir That Manny Fischer ' s been around. Co-op sets a uicked pace. He ' s busy as a bearer. Yet he ' s found time to catch a trace Of secretary ferer. Likeable guv From Danzig s free city Waltzed thru the Beth Medrash And note ' s sitting pretty. Handsome Alex Came to Y. C. To gel his smicha And earn his degree. Itroolthii IliTiiir ' s Set for lifr B.A., sinirhii And n lowly irifr. Earnest lizzie ' s Grcntost riinhition Is to lirr ) lip his liiiiiih Zionist tnnlition. BERNARD GELBART BROOKLYN, N. Y. EZRA GELLMAN BROOKLYN. N. Y. JACK HERMAN BROOKLYN, N. Y. Barittnw jroiii llrookh n irny Tenches Hehreii- eiery day. Sports n irnrilrohe lery pay And drives a f orpeons Chevrolet. PHILIP HOROWITZ NEW YORK CITY This Renins sartorial Has a fsifl Barryinorinl. Crent skill oralorial And hopes senatorial. IRVING JARET BROOKLYN, N. Y. ELIYAHU KANOVSKY WINNIPEG, CANADA ABRAHAM KARP ABRAHAM KOOLYK NEWARK, N. J. A hasketeer Opponents fear — Irv deserves A great big cheer. Winnipeg ' s ivontler Came to 1 . C As part of the Good ISeighlior policy. Take a moment to harp On the grades of Abe Karp If you don ' t maintain That fish sharpens the brain. From ! ei€ark. ISeiv Jersey Hails this student. A scholarly fellow. He ' s quiet and prudent. {r. . . .vfi .s 111 in ;.s irry mlirr ii„l l„ Ihr iiniilr Quill ' iillriiilirr. Son of II Knhhi. It ' s his ilrsirc To follow the footsteps Of his iiliistrioiis sire. Chaucer and sports And a humorous touch Combine in a mixture }} e like rerr much. Likeable chap From America ' s Rhine. Athlete and Slionier And Talmudist fine. MILTON KRAMER BROOKLYN. N. Y. PAUL LEVOVITZ BROOKLYN, N. Y. HENRY MARGOLIS ATLANTIC CITY, N. J. DAVID MASSIS CINCINAHI, OHIO in. Mr MAN MEDETSKY BRONX, N. Y. DAVID MILLER BALTIMORE. MD. DAVID MIRSKY BROOKLYN, N. Y. .., RABBI MOSHE REGUER BROOKLYN, N. Y. Hy ' s lime ' s well spent n e ull (ifiree 1 oil II, K Israel. Talmud Ittd ' li osop iv. Clicks a mean shiiller, Swims a mean pool, Throtvs a mean line And is nobody ' s fool. .4 debator of note. An actor of fame, I ow lacks his appendix But still looks the same. This clergyman is married, Has sired a husky son. But now at graduation He feels Life ' s just begun. OSCAR REICHEL BROOKLYN. U. Y. Vopiiliir Kiiy- Aliutliih Iriiilrr. His firailvs wilt show rilnl hr ,1 Horhl brulir. SIDNEY REISS BRC I II lr l Sill ' s Ailoin ' . Thinns trr hrririn ' . SAMUEL ROSENBLUM 1 hr were hut two inches taller. The Blue and it hile ' s best hasfielhnller Vf oiild hare made his hiinihle name One of the greatest in the name. JULIUS ROSENTHAL 5ALTIMORE, MD. Baltimore ' s pride. .4 craekerjach editor. Translating a novel To pay off a creditor. MELVIN ROSSMAN DENVER, COL. HARRY SAMSON BALTIMORE. MD. JULIUS SEIDEN BROOKLYN, N. Y. REUBEN SIEGEL BALTIMORE, MD. Mii lavhed Mel Frtmi ii ' tiy out wpst, The Aiiieriinii hero At his best. Artist mid craftsman And technically clever. Was harried hy illness But now strong as ever. Folks, meet Brooklyn ' s Julie Seiden, Social minded, law ahidin ' . A bit part actor well nigh peerless, A fire fighter, forte and fearless. Baltimore ' s Ruby Wasted his looks On Eco, Debating And history books. Sixte Seventeen DAVID SOFER NEW YORK CITY Dairy ' . ' , lif,- ' „ {(■(•o iic tiiiitf drah, SiK ' iiih liny anil nifilil In tlir rlii ' nihiry liih. JOSEPH SOKOLOW COLCHESTER, CONN. Pntii ' iiri ' I ' ternal. lahors nnrtnrnal, Fri ' lin is frntrrnal. holli in- anil rxlerniil. Topped off by this roloni ' l so swerlly Made up this infernal rap we rail our •out MORRIS SUKENIK BROOKLYN. N. Y. W ants to chanfse the system We all are suffering under: Trying rery hard to steal Some of Trotsky ' s thunder. BENJAMIN WELBER BROOKLYN. N. Y. .4 peek at his record If onid convey The fact that Ben ' s alphabet Stops at A. i f ALFRED WIESEL MARTIN ZION READING, PA. Should you see an artist At ivork at his easel While flanked hy three girl friends, ' Twill doubtless be Wiesel. Cpntlenian. scholar, W hat more need we say Of the handsomest product Of Reading Pa? Candids by David Miller Eighteen HISTORY YE5HIVH COLLEGE Mineteen FRESHMAN YEAR remember. I remember One September morn We filed from the Bursar ' s den And the ' 42 Men irere born ... The powers that be take one look at us — and a three-man Executive Committee Is rushed Into being . . . Drs. Isaacs, Churgin and Belkin . . . Mrs. Levltan meets us with outstretched palm, and we go -forth to be stripped of our shirts and pants by the good Doc Swick . . . statistics reveal that we ' re a cosmopolitan iot hailing from Egypt, Winnipeg, Danzig, Denver, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Connecticut, and the Bronx . . . and of course our Baltlmorons . . . We are welcomed by a smoker screen laid by the Poe! Hamlzrachi . . . Our difficulties with the faculty begin . . . Prof. GInsburg ' s famous: And what was your father ' s name, Esterson? . . . we ' re finally stumped by a problem . . . no, not math, but which is the front and which is the back of Yukey ' s fabulous headgear ... Eli Levine, the mighty atom, redistributes atoms and presto — one baby girl . . . we can ' t decide whether to call her Ethyl or Ester ... we are presented with empirical evidence that acetone Is explosive even under the carefully controlled conditions under which I will perform this experiment. Don ' t worry, Gutman, nothing will happen. B-O-O-M! . . . hlls theme song: I didn ' t know what time it was. As the hall clock takes a cue and speeds up . . . Those with more intes- tinal fortitude take physics and Lo an ' behold It takes them . . . with true poetic fervor Prof. Shelley Sa-fires the boys with an appreciation of Galen ... we learn that it ' s cricket to picket as Mickey Mouse ' s big brother makes a personal appearance opposite the Social hHall . . . Reuben Siegel has a slight Southern accent . . . Mr. Irving Linn makes us fellows earn our heritage by the sweat of our notes . . . We spend an uneasy year in occupied France, done up Braun . . . although some have the pleasure of discovering that not all German Rosenbergs are Aryan philosophers . . . V is for Victoria as we trip the light fantastic and break the Loan Fund and Mirsky ' s allowance for the next three years . . . His creditors see to it that his z V) z 1942 Twenty depleted financial condition does not deprive him of entertainment . . . Margy Margolis and Moish Ep- stein counsel the Council . . . We de-pantserize the jittery juniors as the dorm supervisor tries hopefully to tear his hair out . . . Doc hlurwitz mechanizes our gym class with bikes, rubber tires and all, pre-prloritles you know . . . Our speech, which we thought would click, did, but is stamped n. g. by Prof. Damon . . . Hesh Esterson, Irv Jaret, and Sam Rosenblum start a four year major on the basketball team as they pop in some long shots for good old Y. C. . . . Our first Class Nite presentation — with Menachem Mendel ' Fischer and Itzik Jaret going Into the Shadchan business . . . We get up the creek at Tlbbet ' s Brook as we proclaim Fares for the Fair ' s sake . . . Class Nite II, featuring an hilarious pot-pourri of song, dance, and snappy chatter by the Furious Fresh makes us an A- 1 artistic success; yet by virtue of mere intellect, the subtle seniors win again. But onward, onward through muck and mire. Hy a Muck! . . . Writing heads for Commy gives us sleepless nights, and Yus Rosenthal fifteen bucks via the Feuerstein Award (boy. was he happy until h ' s creditors formed a double line) . . . Mickey exhumes the humor from the exchange papers to ghost write a ' Jest in Fun ' colyum for Jerry Kestenbaum s by-line. But who are we to talk! Hy a Mire! . . . Koolyk is also a member of the class . . . The ' 42 Men earn the name as Rabbi Reguer begets Gabriel and we listen to a speech on ' Today I am A Father . . . Another old proverb is changed when the people who live in Glass Houses plead with us not to throw — cigar butts at the usherettes . . . One night is all we need to convince our teacher, an Ish Sar, that we have not mislayed ' our Prov- z B 1942 erbs ; we DO know more than his bebby Our Freshman rear Whnlta life, tchal joys. But hold on-il ' s only The beginning, boys! . . , SOPHOMORE YEAR In Fate ' s hands If e ' re all nom tools Half tcise men And half fools . . . Commy sees red as two Sophs break all prece- dents by joining the governing board, tulfilling our motto, if we can ' t bend em, we break them . . . Rosenthal is news-editor, Karp, sports-editor . . . Morrie Epstein and Joe Sokolow go to the head of the class . . . the Executive Committee issues an Emancipation Proclamation from their suite of tables at Harry s — no classes after 7:30 — P.M. for sane people, and A.M. for science majors . . . Linn acquires a Sophomore English class, and takes a wife to help with the themes . . . We have our first real smoker with Sid Reiss doing a take off on the Gypsy, Oscar Reichel dispensing risque stories and Menachem Mendel uncovering his famous Muchacha . . . Dramatic Society revived by some of the ' 42 Men . . . Muni and Tracy get the jitters . . . Prof. Robert Calvin Whitford flops florry for a six dollar joke . . . We learn English doing cross- word puzzles . . . Oscar Reichel tries to find his place in the world as he takes over the Lost and Found Dept. . . . P.O.N, takes over the Publicity Bureau and holds the fort until Sherman returns from Georgia . . . Hesh leaves the Varsity, and by coincidence we cop the basketball intramurals . . . Progressive Articularization is the keyword as we learn that we can toss wisecracks while becoming scientific politicians and political scien- tists . . . we get the weekly History exams that Prof. Brody is noted for, but they prove easy once we dis- cover that they ' re in the bag . . . The Spry Sophs take over the Minyan one bright morning, with Rabbis Kramer, Miller, Seiden and Reichel officiating . . . All agree it was a huge success, and should be repeated — every four years ... so dere I was at the Class Nite . . . what was I doing at Class Nite? . . . cheering squad is formed, and Samson, Fisher and Reiss yell their brains out in adulation of Sadie — Sadie the Tuenty-tujo feineh, Sadie the gitte, etc. etc. . . . We play L. I. U. — and the cheering iquad blow, its brains out ... we ring out the old year and try to ring In the new on the phone, but the booth is too small . . . Jelgart stuffs the ballots in the election of Sadie . . . Floch flows in from Vienna, and flays the boys with a flow of fluid Latin . . . Levovltz is also a member of the class . . . we take hHyglene down dere with Major Freed and find that one must stoop to conquer . . . the first Varsity Show blows in with March — again all honors go to the Class of ' 42 for the writing and acting . . . Rube Siege! has a heavy Southern accent . . . The audience devours the Wolves ' (with a special ' curtain call by J. Wallace Seiden) as the boys put on wigs and fight for freedom and Harold Politoff ... Dr. Belkin wins our further plaudits as he states: the assignment for the next session, skip the next chapter . . . Margy ' s short stories make the rounds, eliciting the comment, Oh! Henry. f MfpntK to odd lloir {ant tinie ' t gone. Some Jleelinfc hourt — And tre ' rr half donr JUNIOR YEAR The world is ours to hare and hold i o lonfior IIP Fate ' s chess men. If ' e fought our ir« ' , ire won, zee :con — Voir tee ' re upper classmen Reading Pa. proclaims a special day to commemo- rate the ascendency of her favorite son, Marty Zion — to the presidency of our class . . . Denver does like- wise for Mel Rossman who holds down vice . . . Mickey Kramer, the Bensonhurst bon-vlvant, fills his father ' s pants and the Athletic Manager ' s shoes ... he juggles basketballs and books to write down Yeshiva ' s most successfull basketball season . . . Dave Sofer discovers a bomb inside the building . . . like most other local bombs, it turns out to be a dud . . . Proletarians! tiie day of days arrives . . . with fast beating hearts and whirling heads we enter the sanctum sanctorum . . . it lives up to everything we heard of it ... we are awed, amazed, stupified, repremanded, cajoled into believing that to know that you know not is half Ticent -lhree knowledge . . . We seek vainly for the other half in our other classes ... we agree that Yeshlva without LItman is like blintzes without sour cream, or like hari without kari . . . Seiden presides over Malmonides hiealth Club . . . kerchoo . . . Seigel has a terrific Southern accent . . Friedman is also a student . . . So is Eisen . . . Health service runs short of medicos so ' 42 men-in-white play doctor with the frosh and examine them for reflexes — and — do you have a sister, is she pretty? . . . recruiting for Yeshiva ' s water-polo squad and crew goes full blast, with unsuspecting Frosh looking for the Y. C. colors on the Harlem . . . world Jewry joins us in our deep grief and sorrow as we mourn the loss of our beloved and revered presi- dent. Dr. Bernard Revel of sainted memory . . . Pysch. has many surprises for us . . . long live Gestalt! . . . and Doc. Luchins . . . Einstellung takes over as we learn how to break frames of reference . . . our motto is, if we can ' t bend ' em, we ' ll break ' em . . . H M S (His Majesty ' s Subject) Plotnick comes to U. S. as part of the bases-destroyer swap — we ' re base and he de- stroys . . . ' Commy becomes a forty-two organ as Sokolow and Reiss join the Governing Board . . . Very Warm For May gets a warm ovation — our way of paying for the tickets . . . Ben Welber heads math club . . . but takes his stiff problems to Camp Deal to master during the summer . . . it ' s Art for credit ' s sake as we go out with the lights ... to Abby It ' s art for business sake, as the registrar ' s office, secretary and all, moves to old art room ... or is It art for Artstein ' s sake? . . . we make after-dinner speeches In 1961 but can ' t remember the dinner . . . Creekus Fisher and Kaduchas Jaret cop Class-Nite banner for ' 42 . . . Gelbart cuts a philosophy class to take himself a wife . . . Litman to sue for alienation of affections . . . It ' s almost done We ' re feeling lotc Three years are done One more to go SENIOR YEAR Time fleets fast Alack Alas We sadly knotc This too shall pass Twenty-four Now the school ' s ours officially but we are re- minded that Dean-a de Malchusa Dean-a . . . George Cohen serves as council prexy, Zion as V.P. and Mirsky as secretary . . . .Reiss takes over presidency of class while Rossman is contented to retain vice . . . the faculty becomes envious and we are deprived of un- limited cuts . . . managers of Lane, Colly and Empress petition Dean to give them back . . . We learn about life at Illinois in the I920 ' s as Professor Abel breaks down and discloses his past . . . Rosenthal edits Com- mentator with Margolis and Weisel as new additions to the board . . . Commy ' comes out blushing at the appointment of Looksee to the presidency . . . Elgart becomes a professor of gymnastics and goes to gym to work out with the dumbells . . . Miller, Sokolow and Karp drive to Lehigh U. for the International Relations Conference . . .They spend most of their time survey- ing the situation a-broad (three of them) . . . Medetsky, also a student . . . Professa Flink warns if you have nothing to say, don ' t elaborate on it . . . which changes our class period from recitation to lectures . . . Redcap Riot rivals Commy ' . . . Siegel and Karp join Gangbusters . . . we get our College keys . . . Linn hits the jackpot . . . gets his doctorate and baby girl . . . Y. C. queen of 1 960 ... the faculty celebrafe the occasion and Professor Litman rings A-bel with a lecture full of da stuff . . . Epstein, Horowitz and Reiss bask in Florida sunshine as seniors start new term . . . Philo majors keep in tune with infinity under guid- ance of Dr. Jung . . . Joe Sokolow edits Masmid — have an aspirin, bub . . . Reuben Siegel ' s accent gets him elected honorary mayor of Harlem . . . David Mirsky s Buck Fever rises (at the Varsity Show) until he has his appendix out . . . Modern Prometheus is pre- sented before capacity crowds . . . Coleman says we did better than pros and the boys turn their eyes to- wards Sardi ' s ... we offer Kramer condolences on his birthday . . . Esterson throws a stag and drag affair after finals . . . thirty-five cent cover to keep out the riff-raff . . . The movinp jingpr irritef And hnrinp trrit. riepnrls. But the memory of these Utile things ' 5 forever in our hearts. aca Uu of Ujeikl va ABEL, THEODORE, M.A,. Columbia University. 1923: Ph.D., 1929. Associate Professor of Sociology. ATLAS, MEYER, B.S.. The College of the City of New York, 1928; M.A.. Columbia University,. 1930: Ph.D. 1935. Instructor in Bioloqv. BAMBERGER, SELIGMANN, Ph.D., University of Wueriburq. 1919. Assistant Professor of Chemistry. BELKIN, SAMUEL, Ph.D., Brown University, 1935. Professor of Hellenistic Literature and Dean of the Yeshiva. BRAUN, SIDNEY D., Dloloma. Sorbonne. 1932: B.A., New York University. 1934: M.A. 1935. lnstruc -or In French. BRODY, ALEXANDER, B.S.. New York University, 1926: M.A. 1928: LL.M., 1929: Ph.D., 1932. Associate Professor of History. CHURGIN, GERSHON, B.A.. Columbia University, 1928: M.A.. 1929: Ph.D.. Johns Hopkins University, 1939. Instructor In Hebrew. CHURGIN, PINKHOS, Ph.D., Yale University, 1922. Professor of Jewish History and Hebrew Litera- ture, and Dean of the Teachers Institute. DAMON, KENNETH F., B.A.. University of Wisconsin, 1921: M.A., Teachers College, Columbia Univer- sity. 1927: Ph.D., 1933. Associate Professor of Speech and Music. DRACHMAN, BERNARD, B.A.. Columbia University. 1882: M.A.. University of Heidelberg, 1884: Ph.D., 1884. Professorial Lecturer Emeritus in Hebrew FLINK, SALOMON, M.A.. Columbia University 1928- Ph.D.. 1930. Associate Professor of Economics. FLOCH, BERNHARD, Ph.D., Vienna. 1910. Assistant Professor of Greek and Latin. FREED, ALEXANDER, B.A., Brown University, 1921: M.A., Little Rock College, 1924: M.D., St. Louis University, 1927. Assistant Professor of Hygiene. GABRIEL, MORDECAI L, B.A., Yeshiva College. 1938: M.A., Columbia University, 1939. Laboratory Assistant in Biology. GINSBURG, JEKUTHIEL, M.A., Columbia University 1916: D.Sc. 1942. Professor of Mathematics. GOLDBERGER, JACQUES, M.D.. University of Buda- pest, 1914. Instructor in Biology. GRIBETZ, FLORENCE, B.A., Hunter College. 1940. Secr-tary to the Registrar. ISAACS, MOSES L., B.A.. University of Cincinnati 1920: M.A.. 1921: Ph.D., 1923. Dean and Professor of Chemistry. HARTSTEIN, JACOB I., B.A., Yeshiva College, 1932: M.S. The College of the City of New York, 1933: M.A., Columbia University, 1936. Registrar and Secretary of the Faculty and As- sistant Professor of Education. HOENIG, SIDNEY B., B.S.. The College of tfie City of New York, 1927: Ph.D., Dropsie College, 1934. Instructor In Jewish History. HURWITZ, ABRAHAM B., B.S., The College of the City of New York, 1927; M.A., Teachers College, Columbia University, 1928. Instructor in Physical Education. JUNG, LEO, B.A.. University of London, 1919; Ph. D., 1922; M.A., Cambridge University, 1926. Professor of Ethics. KISCH, BRUNO ZACHARIA, M.D., University of Prague, 1913. Professor of Chemistry. KLEIN, DAVID, B.A.. The College of the City of New York. 1902: M.A., Columbia University, 1904; Ph.D.. New York University. 1909. Assistant Professor of English. KLOTZ, NATHAN, Ph.D., University of Wuerzberg, 1925. Assistant Professor of Bible. KOSLOWE, IRVING, B.A., Yeshiva College, 1940. Laboratory Assistant in Chemistry. KRAUS, PHILIP E., B.A.. The College of the City of New York, 1928; M.A., Columbia University, 1931. Lecturer In Education. LEVINE, ELI M., B.A., Yeshiva College, 1932; M.A., Columbia University, 1935. Instructor In Chemistry. LINN, IRVING, B.B.A., The College of the City of New York, 1933; M.A., New York University, 1934; Ph.D., 1941. Instructor In English. LITMAN, ALEXANDER, B.A., University of Minnesota, 1924; Ph.D., Columbia University, 1929. Associate Professor of Philosophy. LOOKSTEIN, JOSEPH H., B.A.. The College of the City of New York, 1926; M.A., Columbia Univer- sity, 1928. Assistant Professor of Sociology. LOWAN, ARNOLD N., Ch.E., Polytechnic Institute of Bucharest. 1924; M.S.. New York University, 1929 Ph.D., Columbia University, 1933. Associate Professor of Physics. LUCACER, MENASSEH, M.D., University of Palermo 1922; Lecturer, Royal Universities of Italy, Rome, 1932. Instructor in Hygiene. LUCHINS, ABRAHAM, B.A., Brooklyn College, 1935 M.A.. Columbia University. 1936; Ph.D., Nev York University, 1939. Instructor in Psychology. MARGALITH, AARON M., B.A., John Hopkins Uni verslty, 1927; Ph.D., 1930. Assistant Professor of Political Science and Act Ing Librarian. MATZ, JOSHUA, B.A., Yeshiva College, 1932; M.A. Columbia University, 1939. Instructor In Mathematics. MIRSKY, SAMUEL K., B.A., New York University 1931; M.A.. Columbia University, 1934. Associate Professor of Bible and Jewish History RENOV, ISRAEL, B.S., New York University, 1935 Certlcate, National Academy of Design, 1935. Instructor In Art. ROSENBERG, RALPH P., B.S., College of the City o New York, 1927; M.A., University of Wisconsin 1928; Ph.D., 1933. Assistant Professor of German. SAFIR, SHELLEY R., B.A., College of the City of New York, 1912; M.A., Columbia University, 1913 Ph.D., 1920. Professor of Biology. SAR, SAMUEL L., Instructor In Bible and Dean o Men. •SAVITSKY, NATHAN, B.S.. College of the City o New York, 1922; M.A., Columbia University, 1923 M.D., New York University, 1927. Instructor in Psychology. SWICK, DAVID A., B.S., College of the City of New York, 1899; M.D., The College of Physicians and Surgeons, Columbia University, 1910. Medical Director. WIESENTHAL, DEBORA W., B.A., Hunter College, 1937. Bursar and Secretary to the Dean. ZEITLIN, SOLOMON. Th.D., Ecole Rabinlque Paris 1914; Ph.D.. Dropsie College, 1918. Professor of Jewish History, on leave. ACTIVITIES YESHIVR COLLEGE Ttc nty-feren Mr. Cofemon ' s VTdtcf: ' Wings Over Europe ' In Fine Version By moH Cb uc The Yeshiva College Players grave a splendid produc- tion of The Modern Prometheus, a streamlined version of Wings Over Europe, whicii the Theatre Guild pro- duced some years ago, at the Lamport Theatre, Amsterdam Ave., and 186th St., last evening. The R. Nichols and M. Browne £lAamatic script, thanks to the changes raade by the Yeshiva Players, is timely indeed. When first pro- duced it was merely prophetic and there were few then in ilie mood for prophecy. The Modem Prometheus has to do with a young scientist w lio invents a method of controlling the atom. With it he plans to bring a higher standard of liv- ing, new freedom and happiness to the world. But cabinet politicians, selfish and short-sighted, fear the ideal- istic scientist and his program. They see in the invention tlie end of conquest and war and they seek it to conquer via war. Can ' t Kill It A hotheaded cabinet minister shoots the young scientist, when he refuses to listen to proposals to destroy his atom control o[ permit its misuse. But hardly has the shot barked when word comes that others have discovered the secret and propose to bring about a new and better order through its use. As the philosophic minister for foreign affairs observes, you may hinder progress and fight ideal- ism, but they will win out in the end. And a program note so aptly puts it, in The Modern Prome- theus ' the smugness and sterile thought of the middle 20 ' s are held up to the view of the gener- ation which is learning Xo shape new standards In the crucible of the bitterest, costliest and most engulfing of all wars in the his- tory of mankind. The Nichols-Brown play relies .)n mental rather than physical conflict for effect. It is a script :o tax the competence of profes- sional actors. It must be acted 10 the hilt to hold the interest throughout an evening. Top First Cast That the Yeshiva Players have been able to make it a gripping, al)Sorbing and stimulating adven- ture in playgoing is high tribute to the calibre of their perform- ance. They got more from it than did the original cast. The acting Is so uniformly ex- cellent that it would be ungra- cious to single out individual players for mention, so we will introduce them in order of their appearance. They are: David Mirsky, Harold SchuJ- weis, Harold Miller, AUen Man- delbaum, Morris Epstein, Ber- nard Reiss, Herman Tjinenbaum, .Mbert Salkowitz, Nathan Rosen- baum, Harold Lebowitz, Henry Margolis, Philip Horowitz, Jer- ome Robbins and MjTon Reis. Anatole Winogradoff ' s fine direction also merits an appre- ciative salute. The setting by J. Shelley Applbaum and Harry .Schumer is helpful. MR. HARRY SCHUMER The column which Is reproduced on this page from the N. Y. Daily Mirror of May 28, Is the finest tribute that could possibly be paid to any college — or for that matter, professional — dramatic group; supreme critical acclaim by a New York drama reviewer. But when all is said and done, when the final credit lines are distributed, we of Yeshiva know that all the praise and all the accolades are deserved by only one person — Mr. Harry Schumer. For it has been through the generosity of this unassuming and untiring friend of the Players and of Yeshiva that the Dramatic Society has been equipped with Broadway sets, props, lights and a beautiful curtain. Through the efforts of Mr. Schumer, as well, our latest production was graced by the fine direction of Mr. Anatole Wlnogradoff of Broadway fame. Words alone cannot express our gratitude and appreciation for our open-handed and unbelievably generous friend. We shall always carry with us the Inspiration provided by Harry Schumer, a great-hearted man and a loyal friend of the boys. Tivenly-eight .acietf Inspired by the first dramatic presentation at Yeshiva, Journey ' s End , ' way back in 1936, a group of aspiring thesplans got together in November 1939, to form the Yeshiva College Players. Taking as its goal the presentation of a play, they produced The Wolves, in 1940, under the direction of Harold Polikoff. Wilh Dr. Irving Linn as faculty advisor, the group advanced in leaps and bounds. The Players, stilled in their activities by the death of Dr. Revel, of sainted memory, had to wait until New Year ' s Eve of 1942 for their next production. This consisted of three one act plays, Submerged, Private Jones, and Twelve Before Three, under the collective title For Fear of Death. Then, on the nights of May 24 and 27, the cur- tains parted on the most ambitious attempt of the Players, The Modern Prometheus. fHaving been so fortunate as to secure the services of Mr. Anatole Winogradoff as director, the members of the group threw themselves into their parts with everything they had to offer. The result was acclaimed not only as the best Yeshiva College production, not only on par with the best o- college productions, but, as Mr. Robert Coleman, drama critic of the Mirror, puts it, It is a script to tax the competence of professional actors . . . they (the Players) got more from it than did the original cast. The Modern Prometeus was indeed a great triumph. DR. IRVING LINN Faculty Adiisor Yeshivn College Players Top: PHILIP HOROWITZ President MORRIS EP.STEIX ni{. KENNETH F. DAMON Direcror For Fear oj Death Dec. 1041 MORRIS SUKENIK . N. TOLE WIXOGR.MXIFF D,rcao, 0 The Modern Tirenly-nine THE MODERN PltONETIIEUS CAST n order of appearance) Walter Grantley, Prime Minister David Mlrsky Attendant Jules Seiden Sir Berkeley Rummel Harold Schulweis Francis Llghtfoot Harold Miller Evelyn Arthur. Secretary for Foreign Affairs Allan Mandelbaun-. Richard Stapp, Secretary of State for War Morris Epstein Sir Romilly Blount, First Lord of the Admiralty Bernard Reiss Sir Humphrey Halliburton. Secretary for Home Affairs Herman Tannenbaum The Players are now ready to carry on; their pioneering days are over. They have a complete set stage props, lights, and cur which were donated by Mr nner. They have, too, a following which is acquainted with what the group can accomplish. In future years the society shall have to live up to the high standards of The Modern Prometheus. The purpose of the Players has never been to make professionals of its members. Primarily, it provides another means of Thirty Mditlhow Giindlo, Choncollor oi tho Exchoquor Albert SolKov itz Lord Sunningdolo, Lord Privy Sool Nothon Rosonbaum Lord Dsdhom, Lord High Chancellor Harold LobowiU H. G. Dunne, Commissioner of Works Henry Margolis St. John Pascoo, Attorney General Philip Horowitz Tfloqort Hnrt-Plimsoll P. Horowitz Ivl. Epstein . S. Reiss tvl. Sukenik H. Tononbau M. Kramer J. S. Applbau mo Robbins (vlyrrn Pel ' Production Staff Production tvlanogor Production Co-Manaqer Director of Publirli- Finance Mano i ' Associate In Producti Ticket Soles House Manaqo Set Constructor 4f lP outlet tor the stud- ent ' s energies. Aside trom this it aims to instill in its members a love for and an appreciation of the theatre, a feeling which comes only after having participated in a production. With - The Modern Prometheus , the charter members of the Society take their leave of the organization. These students, who survived all the heartache and disappointment of the past years, depart with the feeling that they leave behind them a permanent institution in the school -The Yeshiva College Players. Class o! 1944 CLs of 1943 MILTON FURST President RWIN GORDON Vice-President JOSEPH SPEISER President BENJAMIN WOLSTEIN Vice-President z z a 1942 Class of 194 HAROLD MILLER President NATHAN ROSENBAUM Vice-President VUW5! ' nrmi Z - GEORGE COHEN— President MARTIN ZION— Vice-Presldenl DAVID M I RSKY— Secretary JOSEPH PEYSER— Athletic Manager TUin- ' -lUree Vssonatpb CoUcgiatr ktsB of N.§.f-A- W«ALL-AiMERICAN NEWSPAPKR CRITICAL SERVICE iJkc £ominL-iitator Jfirst Class ??onor l atins ,„ ,L Nm U nth N..lionJ Ncuspap r CnluJ Scn-u, of A.«u.,., .( ColL laU Prr V. Jt-- (Af Uniitriilv uf Minnt.-ota. Dcpurtmtnt of J„urnaLm. l ii.. Flr.yt day of M.,y. 1942 Don ' t Forget Modern Prometheus Publislicd By Sludonts Of Vtshiva College NEW YOKK CITY. THURSllAV, APRIL Army Rejects Yeshivite; Army Accepts Yesliivites Jp : Li. rn;us to uil: i:i n HJ cm (lil|r (Cnmm ntatnr I ' ulilishea IJy SUhI.hIs Of eshiva College V01.i;.MF. XIV NEW YORK CITY. THURSDAY, JANUARY ! Dr. Moses L. Isaacs Assumes Official Duties As New Dean Of The Yeshiva College rfl 0 •j ' Class Nile Fiasco • « Side ' n s !! e r r Im«- ' cT= ll.■t] l{ Stii.lenls Of e lli a College ■I •• ■ ,... .- DEAN MOSES LEGIS ISAACS ,„„ so th:.i ■ = •■ : -.lu- ! -w, ' n, ' an haa.s [),; ' ,.t,,i Tu Ideals ' ' .-y  ■ ' ■ ' ' ' Cniiu-ii Reuovated Sociol LouRs e il l ' Of y :hira.Ri ' ar,l.-ilLo!;imil Choice (. :„ .. . „ . . Coinmitio.. . Students Tonight r Appointed c -$  1EET THE SliMORS Published Bv Sludenls Of Yeshiva College NEW YORK CITY. THURSDAY. MARCH 1 HENRY MARGOLIS Sports Editor JACOB WALKER Managing Editor JULIUS ROSENTHAL Editor-in-Chio( ERWIN HERMAN Nowi Editor ALFRED WIESEL ButinaM Manaqar News and views of the school were presented bl-weelcjy by our official organ, the Commentator. As in former years, the publication maintained a high journalistic level, as attested by its First Class Honor Rating in the Associated Collegiate Press evaluation, with the highest total point score In the history of the newspaper. We especially appreciated the frank and honest editorial policy adopted throughout the year, as illustrated by the unequivocal statements on the library problem, rabbinical placement, and other vital issues. The editorials, meritoriously written by Julius Rosenthal ' 42, Editor-in-Chief, were augmented by detailed dis- cussion articles on these problems, a novel feature for Commentator. Another feature which appealed to us was the inclusion of at least one illus- tration in every issue, providing an attractive appearance. Jacob Walker ' 43. Managing Editor, was mainly responsible for this innovation, as well as the generally neat makeup. His fellow member of the Governing Board, Erwin L. Herman ' 43. News Editor, supervised the coverage and writing of the news stories, which invariably provided us with useful and interesting information of school activities. The paper would not have been complete without the comment of Henry Margolis in his enlightening On the Sidelines column. This column, singled out for praise by the Collegiate Press, represented one half of Henry ' s achievements, for he succeeded in consistently putting out a complete sports page, exerting great influence on athletic activities within the institution. In addition to his column, we thoroughly enjoyed the good-natured ribbings we received in the biographical sketches of the members of the class in the annual Meet the Seniors write-ups. Various other columns presenting student opinion and comment on events and issues of the day were featured from time to time in the Commentator. Alfred Welsel ' 42, Business Manager, was primarily responsible for the highly successful fiscal year enjoyed by Commentator . Five veteran members of the staff, in the persons of Joseph Karasick ' 43. Paul Orentlicher ' 43, Benjamin Wolsteln ' 44, Bernard Reiss ' 43, and Shelly Applebaum ' 44 were constituted as the Governing Board for the coming year to carry on the Commentator tradition. Thirlr-fire z z o 1942 Varsity Show Those who braved the hail and rain and dark of night to come to Lamport Theatre on Sunday, March 29th, were to be well rewarded, for they were to play god-father to a new enterprise, and, by their presence and generous applause, to help launch a long-cherished hope, the first All-Varsity Show. For years but a gleam in the Social Committee ' s eyes, it had been decided in December that it was now or never. The rest was easy . . . just like pulling hens ' teeth. It was a cinch for author David Mirsky ' 42, and additional dia- logue man Morris Epstein ' 42 to bat out a two hour musical comedy script. It was easy for Emanuel Seidman ' 45 and Abraham Karp ' 42, to knock off five original songs for the show. And it was a sinecure for Philip hforowitz ' 42 to construct a professional set. But be that as it may, though our cup runneth over with blood, sweat and re- hearsals, who shall forget Buck Fever and the plight of Little Abraham (hiarold Esterson), the gaucheries of the Father (Harold Miller) the pants-o-mim- ing of the telephone Man (Sid Reiss), and the flighty flitting of Academy Award (Henry Margolis). Credit for organizing and producing the entire show goes to Morris Epstein ' 42, chairman of the Social Committee, The rest of the committee this year was composed of Philip Horowitz ' 42, David Mirsky ' 42, Bernard Reiss ' 43, and Irwin Metchik ' 44. The whole affair was terrific, and everyone associated with it determined never to attempt anything like it again — until next year. Thirty •seren z z 5 1942 With the departure of Assistant-Librarian Isaac Goldberg ' 32, to assume government duties in Washington, Dr. Aaron Margalith was promptly appointed librarian. Considering the library ' s progress since, there could have been no other choice. This year ' s expansion is unparalleled in the history of the Yeshiva. Of the eleven thousand volumes on the shelves, three thousand have been acquired over a period of seven months. The chief source for these newly accessioned books was Gerson W. Cournos, donor of the Cournos Collection. Valued at $10,000, the collection comprises some of the outstanding works in Judaica, the natural as well as the social sciences, philosophy, literature, history and law. Two hundred volumes of current Judaica were presented to the library by the American Jewish Committee through the intercession of Messrs. Alderman and Schneiderman. The library acquired approximately nine hundred books from colleges in the metropolitan area. The New York Public Library is sending three hundred volumes in the social sciences and other fields. With such substantial donations, the library has outgrown its present quarters, over fifteen hundred books being off the shelves. The remodelling of Room 437 into a reading and reference room is expected to relieve somewhat the problem of space facilities. Stocks and circulation will remain at their present location while specific hours will be allocated to circulation. Rare volumes will be on display in the new reading room. oLib ruri ¥ DR. A. MARGALITH Librarian Thirly-eight J ocietu ma DR. KENNETH DAMON Faculty Advcior Join the debating society and see the world would have been an excellent recruiting slogan for our glib-tongued orators this year. A simultaneous invasion of New England, Eastern Pennsylvania and points South was affected by three groups of two each which engaged in a total of 18 debates with a string of universities and colleges from Harvard to the University cf Alabama. Irwin Gordon ' 43, manager of the society and David Mirsky ' 42, President, tanned their hides and whet their tongues below the Mason-Dixon line. Gordon was constantly being mistaken for a Jap to the accompaniment of belly laughs on the part of Mirsky which didn ' t do his appendix any good. Joe Karasick ' 43 and Ruben Slegel ' 42 were experiencing the joys of New England hospitality and Harvard accent while Mel Rossman and Abe Karp, both of ' 42 were operating In the coal mine stretches of Pennsylvania. On the home front, Yeshlva attacked in waves, radio waves, over station W N Y C as It met first Columbia and then Rhode Island State. Every major college In the city was met by the society whose members besides those already specified included Arthur Chlel ' 43, Leo Auerbach ' 44, Jack Green ' 44. Earl Korchak ' 44, Herman Tannenbaum, Harold Miller, Harold Schulweiss and Morton Slegel all of ' 45. ' C) JOSEPH SOKOLOW Editor-in-Chief This year ' s Masmid will long be remembered as an experiment of no small proportions. For with this issue we have set a standard, high in literary variety, daring in lay- out and costly in production. Cur thousand dollar exploit covers four years of diversi- fied activity which could be reproduced only In a publication which is as all-embracing as ours. The advance in Masmid was heralded by the creation of a Governing Board of five, with each man assigned to a specific department. MORRIS EPSTEIN Literary Editor DAVID MILLER Photography Editor JULIUS ROSENTHAL Liter .nv SIDNEY REISS Manag:ng Editor Our efforts have been directed towards the creation of a Masnnid which would bring to light the talent of our students imbedded in the ideals of Yeshiva. This year ' s staff consisted of Joseph Sokolow, Sidney Reiss, Morris Epstein, David Miller and Harry Samson who comprised the Governing Board; Harold Esterson, Alfred Wiesel and Julius Rosenthal, editorial assistants: and, Morris Margolies, Howard Singer, Myron L. Reis, Milton Furst. Louis Tuchman, and Arthur Cohen. AL WIESEL Ar and Layout HARRY SAMSON HAROLD ESTERSON Art Editor OHice Maracser 1 3 ' .6 ,c M vV iV ' ; ' i s ' V.a aO a c,e ' •■:■ -. ' ° ::° ,, , .v- ' ' ' D - vAa ' ° z Z 5 1942 9 ' ,oQ ' ao . ; a oo sfjac- ; •e ' N 6 ' ' .oQ (Ve r.o cw je S ' ' o? oO t eO ' « ii ca _fxX - rVe ,„fco ,- X w t 6 -O o ' aO AXA ,o---.,Ve !V- o9 ' ,eat S ■ o .X ° ..vA j Sto c - qV ' 1 0- ' ' V o° .%.XW nM - ' C: . c,a e bS a HO a V Ae Xo Co 3 a e- A o 9 3S ' ,ea ' ,0 n eo :: ' :,e o ® ' ' Ve ' Forty-two .Vo ' aX DAVID MILLER Ptesidon) JOSEPH SOKOLOW V; ,,.Pro ' .ldnrl H. ZWILLENBERG Sccotory RABBI M. KATZ SAMUEL ZAITCHIK Manager JEROME FISHMAN Manager Cc-co S ' cre ISRAEL RIBNER LEONARD GOLDSTEIN V.anagers o; Concert Bureau LOUIS TUCHMAN, President MARVIN PRITZKER Editor 2 THEODORE FRANKEL President ISRAEL LERNER Vice-President ARTHUR CHIEL, President SAMUEL BLECH Secretary 1942 Forty-four c ' ■ ' ■■ ;. - y. ' o, r. ' a y 0, . flc ©s e : ' : C ■ ' ec; e . ' -Or M P rj CCq ' ' . , er -0 = o ,v, . ' h. uiti «c C ' s u,. • ' Jd . ■ ' i v Ja ' H-: - A, 5 c, ■ e,7-- e ' . O r - -- ' ' -. f ■ , e ' 9f ' rZ. ' s ' °lz •c.; c ° c.. ew!° e e 34 ' • ' e . Q ' U tu c e ' L -?i% :: . ?. v, 1 J, Os..7 ' ' ri, ' ® i, ' e; - U c «e , e es ' ec e e j ■ ' c for v. iip 2 Z o 1942 BASKETBALL r A quick glance at our lastjyear ' s won and lost record, indicates that the boys fell far short of fulfilling pre-seaon expectations. Emerging victorious only eight times in twenty-one i f«ij6pd absorbinc Mme merciless shellackings at the hands of opponents who ordinarily piay very aHB tour class, the Quints were at no time able to get rollinq long enough rb oispT Tne form and precision essential to a consistent winner. Injuries to key njpn played a big role in keeping down our effectiveness. No less than six capable performers} were forced to the sidelines for reasonably long periods, and very rarel  goach Goldsteir le to put his most powerful combination on the floor. Coach Goldstein, who, while playing in the lavender uniform of City College during his undergraduate days there thrilled Madison %Wpre Garden ' s thousands with spectacular set. dofingaBto4j|d do lltfie to offset fl Bveakness caused by the casualties and the absence of outstanding material. The second game of the season found us having our troubles ■ithJ a classy NYU Commerc : aggregation. The third quarter opened with the veteran, well- poised visitors erfjoying a comfortable nine point advantage, aiw constantly threaten- ing to stretch it to greater proportions. But, with i ddenM d burst of enthusiasm, the Blue and White steamroller snapped ' iinf. iikii ' ' t T ' threw caution to the winds, and proceeded fo|Dutplay, outbattle, and outscor4 Cd nmerce. They not only made up the deficit, bulfeven catapulted inf a momenfpry leaa !. '  • Still mc re outstanding, was the magnificent comebdck we staged against the highly toute cf New wJr. College quintet, tirailing by no ' less than eighteen points at one point in fb irst half, we absolutely refused to ' e discouraged, and battling nip and tuck allgme way, succeeded in overcoming the deficiency and forging ahead to take commsrd. Co-captains fHarold Esterson and Sammy e Irv Jaret, tan Doppelt (high scorer), and fi KsoJ C lb, pla: Forty- ix service, while tently good HAROLD ESTERSON Co-Capfoin SAMUEL ROSENBLUM Co-Captoin IRVING JARET MILTON KRAMER JOSEPH ELGART SAM HARTSTEIN ZELIG BLOCK MARSHALL FREIDMAN RED KALB STAN DOPPELT DOOD SUSSKIND ABE HARTSTEIN SOL KAPLAN BASKETBALL TEAM TENNIS The tennis team wound up a fairly active season with a hard fought 4-3 victory over the highly touted L. I. U. racqueteers. Participating in only four matches, the boys eked out a lone victory In the season ' s grand finale. Prior to this, they dropped a close 5-2 decision tc Jersey State Teachers College, and gave a good account of themselves in losing to the crack Queens College outfit. In the opener, they were over- whelmed by a highly superior Drew University team. to the tune of a 9-0 whitewashing. Al Salkowitz, Irv Fredman. Jack Levy, Aaron Abelow. and Lee Auerbach played consistently good tennis for the Blue and White. a tk iiib The MATHEMATICAL RECREATIONS CLUB has not only realized the fondest hopes of lis founders by continuing the precedent set last year in publishing its second annual Journal, but has also added a .new feature to its activities — a mathematics contest conducted at four Parochial High Schools in New York City. The contest consisted of three independent quizzes, each for different student grades. Supplementing its problems and notes section, the Journal, edited by Morris I. Chernofsky, president of the Club, Benjamin Welber, secretary of the Club, and Emanuel Fischer, also included the following new articles: The General Conic , One Ahead of Euclid , Problem of Appollonius , Calculus of the Mishnah , Problem of Wallace and Method of Interpolation . The Club was also privileged in hearing Mr. Mitchell J. Friedman lecture on The Anatomy of Magic Squares and Cubes . This lecture, thanks to Professor J. Ginsburg, was heard in conjunction with the Recreational Mathematics course given here at Yeshiva. Another outstanding lecture was delivered by Mr. S. Maurice Plotnick on the Treatment of the General Conic . It is to be hoped that the added feature as well as the lectures and publication of the Journal will continue in years to come. The history of mathematics clubs at Yeshiva, dating from about 1935, recalls the names of Rabbis Meyer Karlin, ' 37 and Jerome Willlg, ' 38 and Jacob Bronsteln, ' 40. The charter members of the present Mathematical Recreations Club are: Seymour L. Krutman, ' 41, president last year; Morris I. Chernofsky, present president; Benjamin Welber, secretary; Emanuel Fischer; Alex Friedman; Bernard Gelbart; George Cohen; Abraham Koolyk; Paul Z. Levovltz: all of 42; and Chalm Swiatlckl; of ' 43. en ice Ljrouip roup6 No windshields were wiped, but practically every other type of service was supplied this year by the Student Council Service Groups. Among these, was the Student-Faculty Relations Committee which acted as a llason agency between the administration, faculty, and students, three integral parts of the same organism. The Employment Bureau supplied the wherewithal for the ever-essential factor In a student ' s life, to a great many Yeshivaltes through the season. Functioning equally to the benefit of the students, the Book Exchange disposed of an annual headache. Probably the most enjoyable service was that rendered by the Social Com- mittee. A Varsity Show, Class NIte, dramatic presentations, as well as the usual mixers and smokers made life bear pleasant moments for one and all at the school. The Playroom Committee might have provided another facet of relaxation, had It not decided to fold its wings early In the first term. VI 2 5 1942 Forty-eight LITERARY YE5HIVR COLLEGE y powaia cyLiL ipoioa et ' ana The Literary Secfion of a college magazine Receives no more attention than a dried up nectarine. And even those who take the time to thumb its pages through, Give it just a hurried glance and turn to something new. So I don ' t think we ' d perch ourselves too far out on a limb Were we to say the chances that you ' ll read it well, are slim. But should there be among you folk the type who likes to read. Who pays real strict attention, and to every line gives heed, We ' d like to ask you, if we may, all errors to excuse. And not to lay the blame upon our Literary Muse. But in the hustle, bustle, and the chaos and confusion Which drove us nearly crazy ' ere the Masmid reached conclusion. It ' s more than likely that we lost a comma or a colon. And couldn ' t stop to find it ' cause we had to keep on rollln ' . Our editors are not at fault, our printers aren ' t either, It just results from working hard, sans time to catch a breather. So when you read it, think of us — don ' t scrutinize each letter. We will be happier by far, and you ' ll enjoy it better. Myron I. Reis z s 1942 Fifty f ' ,ahhi ooh: S uac unci l Luo iurii By PROFESSOR SAMUEL K. MIRSKY Translatod from tho Hobrow by EZRA GELLMAN 42 For Jews, religious nationalism is no novelty. On the contrary, it is secular nationalism that is of recent origin. The deeply ingrained faith in the eternity of Israel, the belief that the Jews are of a non-assimilable nature which renders it impossible for them to become estranged from their nation, is also an ancient one. But while our national aspirations were in the process of rejuvenation, these ancient faiths were becoming enervated. Fortunately at that moment, Rabbi isaafc Kook, of sainted memory, appeared on the horizon and restored them. In his first essay, The Jewish Mission and Nationalism, Rabbi Koolt Influenced the early Zionists to follow his own lines of reasoning, which stood forth in bold relief as the precursors of religious nationalism. An examination of the passages in this essay will illustrate the current of his thought. Traditional Judaism, Rabbi Kook believed, is an age-old stream In which the history of the Jews has flowed throughout the ages. At times, tributaries diverge from the main stream and seek new courses. But these either dry up and disappear entirely, or else flow back into the original source, bringing with them new, vigorous, and reinforcing life. The schism created by the reformers in Germany, the repudiation of religion or nationalism in other countries, are no exceptions to this rule. The products of Haskala were national assimilation and the rejection of religion, and they gave birth to the antithesis — secular nationalism. The latter contains within itself the urge for a synthesis, namely, religious nationalism. From the moment the ghetto walls crumbled, the solid earth upon which the House of Israel had been built began to disintegrate. At the same time, however, the natural yearnings for the homeland grew, and those Jews who had embarked upon foreign streams brought back with them borrowed implements with which to strengthen and reinforce the falling tent of David. By one false doctrine the enlightened leaders of Germany went astray. They believed the Jewish mission would be fulfilled when the intermingling of Jews and gentiles would be completed. The only remaining task, they thought, was to uncover for the world the brilliant gems of Jewish scholarship so that everyone might reap their benefits. But as the skies are Infinitely higher than the earth, so too is the conception of the Jewish mission of the ancient prophets incalculably loftier than that of their cheap German imitators. If these false German prophets had had their way, Judaism would be a mere archaeological museum piece. But in order that the Torah remain alive, constantly elevating mankind and pointing out its defects, it must have a program, a mission. 2 z o Fifly-07,P 1942 What Is then the eternal mission of the Jew? The establishment of harmony, peace, and unison. This Is the fundamental law in the Torah. It desires to harmonize Jewish thoughts and deeds. The conimandments concerning what one may or may not eat are Intended as a unifying program for the entire nation. The precept directing all Jews to study the Torah is aimed at the creation of a spiritual reservoir from which all may partake. The prohibition of marring the corners of the beard and head, and other such precepts, help establish the uniformity and aesthetic values and institute as well a natural physiognomy among all Jews. Although he did not originally Intend his essay to be a hermeneutic exposition of the commandments. Rabbi Kook nevertheless threw much light upon the subject. Maimonides utilized the historical concept — the disassociation from pagan idol worship — as the basis of his explanation of the commandments, whereas S. D. Luzzatto, for Instance, employed the ethical concept, namely mercy, as the motive underlying the commandments. Rabbi Kook ascribed to national unity and harmony the role of the basic impulse. We are enjoined, he says, to discover the national force in every decree, In every law affecting our way of life. This Injunction is not a modern one. It is not the present-day spirit of nationalism which subconsciously Influences us to use it as an Instrument in rationalizing our laws. On the contrary, an Independent study of Judaism compels one to come to that conclusion. The entire Torah was forged in a nationalistic spirit, he says. Legalism, he believed, is the culmination and final consummation of ethics. Generations which preoccupy themselves with sheer, though lofty ethical considera- tions are merely pointing to their own Immature development. Thus did Rabbi Kook presage the poet Bialik who gave a strong poetic expression to this malady of our age, in his article hlalakha and hiaggadah. In his second essay Rabbi Kook proposes to the large community of Jews in Russia to step out of the restricted circle wherein the Yeshivoth have confined Jewish creative forces, and to revive the study of Jewish thought, and the duties of the heart. In his third essay, Streams In the South, he began to tap this old-new stream of Judaism, which he discussed In the preceding one. In the first part he dwells upon the nature of the Jewish Mission. The thought of a mission comes to a nation as well as to an individual only after the lust to live for the sake of life has lost its hold upon them. But he who claims that the diaspora created the idea of a mission among the Jewish people is mistaken. The diaspora created no new forces, but merely materialized certain previously hidden ones, brought the concealed to light. Z 5 1942 Fiflytwo There Is a fundamental rule in Biblical hermeneutics; the general contains nothing which cannot be found in its connponent parts. Would the individual be dis- carded, in accordance with the teachings of chauvinistic foreign nationalisms, fhe revival of Jewish nationalism would be impossible, for it is not composed of instincts, falsehoods, and exaggerations, which serve to aggrieve the individual, indoctrinating in him the idea that he is important inasmuch as he serves the state. These darts were directed, ostensibly, at Achad Ha ' Am. Despite the fact that he does not mention him by name Rabbi Kook seemed to have regarded him as a misleading signpost on fhe road of national rejuvenation. In the second section of this essay. Rabbi Kook reverts back to his favorite theme, the reasoning of the Commandments. Relating the commandments of the past +0 the future, he emphasizes the point, that although no valid reason can apparently be given now, it remains for the veiled future to disclose the true and underlying motives of the commandments. The prohibition of eating meat and millt together, for example, may some day lead man to realize the injustice of eating meat and the improbity of milking an animal ' s udder. Hence, such a law helps to usher In the messianic era, when even a lion will eat straw as does the cow. This essay marked the termination of Rabbi Kook ' s literary activities in the diaspora. His emigration to Palestine to assume his duties as the new Rabbi of Jaffa, he mother of the new Yishuv , abruptly changed his style. He consciously endeavored ■ o consign to oblivion the learning of the diaspora. The restlessness one experiences as a result of the transition from one type of study to another, and the disturbance felt by a scholar when he leaves the diaspora and enters Palestine, gave birth in him a vehement love for the learning of the Holy Land. His rabbinic style, through which slowly trickled the tranquil, graceful ideas of his thought-provoking and reasoning essays of the diaspora, underwent a complete metamorphosis in Palestine. This change was not accompanied by a change in the basic motive, namely religious nationalism. On the contrary, there were added to it new social, political, and geographical factors, which were weaved into the framework of his ideas by his living in Palestine. Contemplating the cradle of religion, and surveying the land from which the Torah issued forth, he understood more profoundly the tragedy of religion which is severed from the nation and Is wandering aimlessly about the world. In a voice penetrating to the depth of truth he declared; ' The false notion that it is possible to embrace the essence of the Torah as a religious feeling without any connection to the cardinal quintessence of the nation, in its fullest social and political sense, is responsible for a marked defect in mankind and can be cured only when humanity spouts out what it has absorbed of the abstract religious feelings which it forcibly tore off the ' tree of life ' of our Torah, which is specifically linked with nationalism, and returns to the original source which is neces- sarily bound up with the national character as revealed in the Torah. Z ► z 5 Fifty-lhrre 1942 The concept of universal religion was created in the twilight, when political Jewry was on the wane, and hence was abortive from the very beginning. Its ghost runs amuck, misguiding men, and has no cure unless it can flame anew from the wick of life from which it has been snatched. It does not necessarily have to rekindle jthe extinguished end of the wick, but may resume in an undefective place. Our national rejuvenation does not have to recede to that period of history when legalistic perfection came about with the removal of the divine spirit, but may even recede to the early prophetic era, when there flowed the soul-inspiring spirit giving actual life to a healthy nation in all its strength. The spirit of rejuvenation disquiets our hearts because of the conflict created by these two tendencies of recession. We must pacify this conflict and open the way to the Divine Being. Age-old advice from a new teacher, and in a new light. Rabbis frowned upon him, as Reb Ze ' era of old had been previously dis- paraged, for having befriended the baryanim . But he answered sharply: this new generation has a rough exterior but also a heart of gold. Their shortcomings are many and their deeds are dissolute. But the aurora of their nobility will enlighten them. This accounts for their love of Israel and their yearnings for Palestine. If one, possessing no profound knowledge of human nature were to pass judgment on them, being unable to distinguish between their inner sacred nobility and their outer depravity, which encompasses their souls as the thorns surround the rose, virulence may result . . . But he who is submerged in profound scrutiny in the light of the Torah, and is not merely a socialist, is enjoined to fraternize with these evil doers. tfis distinctive style in halacha, which he initiated while still in the diaspora, became more stabilized in Palestine. As he says, The hallowed sacredness found by sages in Palestine cannot be found in the diaspora. I, In all humility, know of this. The dialectic method of hair-splitting, he heartily disliked, hie would permit It only in the case of competent experts who had also the proper poetic swing. In the diaspora the twins of oral and written law were separated. The oral law was converted Into written law. In Palestine, however, the oral law germinates from its deep roots while the light of the written law enthrones it an aureole of glory. His first footsteps on the field of halacha, the two Issues of Etur Sofrim written when he was but twenty-two years old and still a student at Volozin, were the footsteps of a mental giant. He was not preoccupied with minor, unimportant details. His aim was to enter directly the deepest recesses of the temple of Halacha. He felt that the time of systematizing had come and he set himself to the task of arranging in order the unlimited number of halachic works and to solve the problems of life by establishing a literary clearing house for the elders of the generation. 2 His halachic essays in those publications already showed his powers as an organizer. Z 5 1942 Fifty -four This Idea, of creating a clearing house which should serve as on organizing medium, took firm hold of him when he was young, and never left him. He was forever occupied with yeshivoth, founding the yeshiva at Jaffa. Yeshiva Mercoz Harav in Jerusalem, and finally the Harry Fischel Institute for Talmudic Research, Among his unpublished works is the Berur Halacha , written on every tractate in the Talmud. In his book he reveals his genius of basing the lav upon the talmudic dissertation, in the manner of Rabbi Samuel Luria and the author of the Levush , in contrast to those who organized the laws apart from their source. Some of his lesser halachlc works — lesser in quantity, but not in quality — Shabath Ha ' aretz and Etz Hadar , etc. show his tendency to consider the law as a growing plant, whose under- standing necessitates the study of its roots and branches. Rabbi Kook was not merely a systematizer and organizer, but also a sage and visionary with deep insight and the ability to understand the mysterious rustle found in between the lines of the halacha. His mind was restless unless he could penetrate to the soul of the halacha with the key of agada which he firmly held in his hand. So he writes in a letter to Isaac Halevi, author of Doroth Harlshonim : You, sir, were the first in our generation to open the shut gates which separated Jewish secular knowledge, as that term is understood by modern literature, and profound Talmudic knowledge, the pure heritage which has come down to us from generation to generation. In my humble opinion, sir, I find it fitting to propose that another boundary line must be deleted, so as to permit free passage from one side to the other, namely, the boundary between halacha and agada. Indeed, it was fitting for him to make such a proposal for he not only preached this, but also practiced it. In his booklet Edeir Hayakar ' about his father-in-law. Rabbi Eliyahu David Rabinowitz, he wrote: To picture the inner soul of a great man is a difficult task for we can only work with external tools such as his deeds, customs, conversations, and writings, and they are but isolated aspects of his sublime soul. To this we may add: It is surely more difficult to picture the inner soul of the man upon whom the mantle of his father-in-law has fallen, and who was more than doubly gifted in spirit. z z o Fi r.v-riir 1942 tciae J ecor and ,r Deuice6 of the UicLorian hecitre by MORRIS EPSTEIN, ' 42 There is not a theatre critic in the land who has not bewailed the dearth of worthy plays this season. And it is not without good reason that Shaw ' s Candida, written in 1893, and revived for a special benefit run, has been acclaimed the best play of the year! Many explanations have been offered for this unhappy situation, including a visionless commercial set-up which bedevils play production today, and the theory that young playwrights, like many of their fellow intelligentsia, are thoroughly contused by the chaotic state of world affairs. But whatever the reason may be, and we suspect that it lies in a combination of both above-mentioned factors, it might be interesting to observe what happened in a like period of dramatic drought in the history of the theatre, the period which has rightly been named after its dominant figure, Queen Victoria. For a period of about fifty years, roughly from 1835 to 1885, scarcely a play was written worthy of production. The theatre fell perforce into line with the conservatism that covered the land like a blanket. Sheldon Cheney has summarized the problem admirably: Victoria typified plainness. Protestantism, and prudery as no other m ' ghty monarch ever did. hiers was an age of drabness. The English creative theatre under Victoria dried up. ! ' ) Victorian days found the stage in a puritannical strait-jacket which was not to be loosened till much later, although even today, the Lord Chamberlain still exists, to make sure that no political or royal feelings are hurt and that the public ' s general standards of decency are not violated. In 1879 Matthew Arnold could say, and too accurately, that in England we have no drama at all. (-) Faced with this lack of material, impressarios were forced to turn their attention to other, cognate, fields of the stage, with the result that in the early middle of the 19th century the British theatre was ruled by the structure of the playhouse, which became sufficiently huge to contain that immense theatrical display which was necessary to conceal the shallowness of the offerings. Stark realism in settings filled the void left by imagination. It first became apparent with the early 19th century craze for historical accuracy in costuming. Scenery also fell under this influence, as solid walls replaced shaky flats. Then exact and genuine properties completed the often drab but always accurate picture. — 1 Cheney, Sheldon. The Theatre. N.Y. 1929. 2 Freedley, George. A History of the Theatre. N. Y. 1941. Z D 1942 Fijty-six Giving mo A of its attention to nnechanics, the theatre advanced technically from 1800 to 1900 at a pace tar outstripping that of stage development at any other period except the age of the Renaissance. Actors still appeared on the forward apron (that part of the stage projecting in front of the curtain) and made their exits by the proscenium door with a quick glance at the galleries. Although many critics already recognized the apron to be an unnecessary convention, observing that the actors should stand within the scenery of the stage, in order to make a part o+ that pleasing Illusion for which all dramatic exhibitions are calculated, (• ) staidness prevailed, and the apron remained. Finally, however, when Garrlck ' s method of lighting the stage from the proscenium pillars and arches became prevalent, the actors realized they would be better visible further back, and the apron disappeared for the first time at the hiaymarket Theatre In 1843. Slowly the familiar modern picture-frame stage was developed, and changes began to take place rapidly. Gas had .been commercially Introduced, and even though its odor was overpowering. it proved a much better illuminant than candles or oil-lamps. At first. It lit exteriors and foyers, then the auditorium, and finally the stage. Each lamp or candle had been a separate unit, and to attempt any general transformation had demanded the services of all the attendants. Gas, as far as the stage was concerned, could be easily manipulated. Dimming was easily managed, and with new Inventions such as limelight, various Intensities of light were made available. Thus mechanical ingenuity flourished. It was In no sense a period of great drama; most of what was written was mediocre. Nevertheless, more and more theatres were being constructed In various parts of London, and the stage was flourishing In the provinces. This was due almost entirely to a heightened public Interest In the rising star system which Mrs. Siddons, Kemble, and Keen had Inspired. Comparison of acting techniques and love of elaborate scenic display with unusual mechanical effects drew people to the playhouses. Stage devices became common property, and about the New Drury Lane Theatre we learn: To facilitate the working of some scenery and light machinery there Is a stage about ten feet below the upper one where the carpenters attend whether to raise ghosts and pantomimic demons, or to obey the magic wand which consigns them to oblivion; under this second stage there is a depth of about forty feet, furnished with various mechanical engines requisite for raising splendid and massy pillars. temples, etc., which enrich the scenery and contribute so essentially to the effect produced by the grand ballets and pantomimes produced at the theatre . . . Over the stage Is a double range of galleries, called flies, containing machinery, and where the greatest part of the scenery is worked, but which, from the number of blocks, wheels, and ropes crossing each other in every direction, give It very much the appearance of a ship ' s deck. ( ) 3 NIcoll, Allardyce. The English Theatre. London. 1936. tlbld. 2 z B Fifty-set en 1942 Even most of the important poetic figures undertook the drama during the Victorian period, and all suffered uninspiring failure. Tennyson, Byron, Browning: their names, when coupled with their dramatic output worthy of presentation, inevitably lose some of their glitter. They wrote magnificent verse, but their plays were not for the theatre. (An exception to prove the rule might be Edward Bulwer- Lytton ' s The Conspiracy (1839), which in 1940 saw a revival with Walter Hampden in Charles Coburn ' s Mohawk Drama Festival.) In its attempts to d estroy the shackles which bound it, the Victorian stage began to toy with romanticism. Hardly ever had there been any effort to provide a proper background, historically correct, for plays in the past. Shakespeare ' s dramas had not demanded painted backdrops to support them; their beauty and strength were sufficient unto themselves. Actors had been content to let some symbol appear in their dress to indicate the station of life or the race they were supposed to be representing. Antony ' s Roman soldiers would be attired in the same armor as served for the forces of Henry V at Agincourt; for Hamlet, Macready wore a dress, the waist of which nearly reached his arms; a hat with a sable plume big enough to cover a hearse; a pair of black silk gloves much too large for him; a ballet shirt of straw-colored satin, which looked simply dirty and, what with his dark beard shaven ... his square jaws unsoftened by a trace of pigment, ... his extraordinary nose . . . and his long skinny neck, he appeared positively hideous. ( ' ' ) But soon costumes changed, and with them settings. Mrs. Siddons was among the first to discard ludicrous wigs, and as usual, she was immediately copied. Capon, a scenic designer, tried to provide buildings exactly as they would have been in the Middle Ages. He also contrived mood-provoking scenery, as in the spectacular Christmas Tale, in which there appeared a sudden transition in a forest scene, and the foliage varied from green to blood color. This contrivance was entirely new, and the effect was produced by placing different-colored slides in the flies or side scenes which turned on a pivot, with lights behind which illuminated the stage. And so continued this interest in the darkly realistic, until conventional settings were all but gone, with ruined castles, dimly lit cathedrals, and dark clumps of bushes taking their place. Then romantic realism gave way to a variety which was often represented by solidly built structures rather than flats. Stage effects and offstage sounds were used in abundance. De Loutherbourg, a famous set designer who had come to an English stage devoid of realism, helped the movement along. He introduced transparent scenes, with representations of moonlight, sunshine, firelight, volcanoes, and silk screens before the foot-and side-lights to help In coloring the stage. Watson says, He was the first in a long line of scenic artists in the modern style, who were to revolutionize the British stage, substituting for mere glitter and magnificence, scenery which created a pleasing Illusion appropriate to the plays It illustrated. ! ' ' ) ■ ' • NIcoll, Allardyce. The English Theatre. London, 1936. 2 6 Watson, Ernest Bradlee. Sheridan To Robertson. Cambridge, 1926. Z B 1942 Fllly-,-iiihl Among the best-known of these painter:; who followed were: Roberts. Stanfield, Grieve, Tolbin, Beverley, Calcott, Craven, and O ' Connor. De Loulherbourg ' s influence occasioned the introduction of many new and spectacular effects. Horses — a whole cavalry troop of thenn — were exhibited at the Convent Garden, as a result of competition with such circus theatres as the Surrey and Olympic. Water, no new means of stage sensation, was now used as an important factor in the action. This innovation was introduced by the managers of Sadler ' s Wells. who availed themselves of a convenient water supply to fill a huge tank constructed under their stage. By means of ropes, the stage itself could be lifted to the ceiling in order to leave the tank open for sensation or spectacle. The Siege of GIbralfer, given here, was the beginning of tank spectacles. The rage did not reach its height however, until Elliston, at the expense of £5,000, produced the melodramatic spectacle, The Cataract of the Ganges, at Drury Lane. Intrinsically, the play was worthless, but this production was the greatest of the tank dramas, and as such, utterly captured the fancy of the public. The British Press, commenting on it, said: It does infinite credit to Mr. Wallack, the getter-upper, (or producer, in modern parlance) but none at all to the author, for all its attraction consists in new scenery, splendid decorations, and above all, in the stud of horses and a car drawn by six additional ones . . . The real horses and real water completely establish the success of the piece. ! ) Such was the state of the contemporary theatre of the time that the most highly satisfactory educational experiment of the 19th century proved to be Samuel Phelp ' s staging of thirty-four of Shakespeare ' s plays at Sadler ' s Wells during the years between 1844 and 1862. hfowever, with the insistence upon verisimilitude the stage began to take its modern form. But realism could not fully be attained until the theatre of the BO ' s. fc dramatic realism demands machinery of a highly complex sort. If a change of set required no more than running in a set of wings and lowering a back-drop, no elaborate system of control was needed, but in the later days of built-up sets, sets which abandoned the two-dimensional for the three-dimensional, the older methods of scene-shifting became cumbersome and inefficient. Nicoll says, by 1880. the theatre was well equipped for the realist director, and by 1900, there was little left for him to ask. m ■ The Theatrical Observer Nos. 602 and 5248 quoted in Watson. Ernest Bradiee. Sheridan to Robertson. Cambridge, 1926. 2 ' Nicoll. p. 177. W y Z 5 Fifty-nine 1942 The Romantic theatre was definitely on its way out: it had delayed its departure too long. Mordecai Gorelik gives an excellent description of the mess the stage was in: In the later years of Romanticism, the Baroque style became a caricature of itself. Theatre auditoriums, their orchestras and galleries vastly enlarged to accommodate a new middle class public, fairly dripped festoons. The proscenium was a picture-frame outlined in gilded plaster weighing many tons. Middle class actors strutted, struck noble poses, went into tirades, whispered ' asides ' to the galleries in imitation of long-forgotten aristocrats. ! ) As the theatre began slowly to discard the crass posing of the Victorian age, its technical aides helped it along. Theatre architects now normally made provisions for high grids, so that scenes might now be flown , and, not contented with that, invented means for making stages turn, sink and slide, rise up In sections, and descend in mass. No longer was the stage a set of boards on supporting bars, with a trap or two tor supernatural effects; it was composed of many sections taking shape as a series of steps, a flat forward area, with a pit behind. A set could be erected underneath the stage and, the act finished, part of the stage floor might sink with its scenery, move aside, and let the new scene be raised. hielping the new take the place of the old was Arthur Wing Pinero, who sounded what has been called the first note of the modern English drama in The Second Mrs. Tanqueray (1893), a play which retained its youthfulness sufficiently to be revived tor the summer theatre by Tallulah Bankhead in 1940. The last contribution to the Victorian stage was the most important, for it opened the way for many artists who were to follow and to build. It was made by Edward Gordon Craig and came at the close of the Victorian era. To those who questioned the value of the realistic scene at the end of the 19th century, the theory of the plastic stage, in which scenery is made to serve the emotional content of the play, became a question-mark of burning importance. However, it was not until 1905 that the great English dreamer of the theatre, Gordon Craig, had the daring to come out in active revolt against the flat and shallow artificiality of the accepted mode of design on the English stage. Craig set out to achieve this miracle himself, but because he was an ardent champion of ivory towers, and disregarded the architectural limitations of the theatre, he did not succeed. Nevertheless he had blazed a trail for others to follow. With creative minds no longer corseted by Victorian inhibitions, the theatre might once more renew its eternal striving to become what Hebbel called the only possible pause in a man ' s life. ' • ' Gorelil. Mordeca;. New Theatres For Old. N. Y. 1940. Z z 5 1942 Sixty he C uuccilloncil L r T ll3lh ileal ( reaL urtn LOIl by Prof. BRUNO Z. KISCH The practices of idolatry and sorcery are major sins in the eyes of the Torah and are therefore strictly prohibited by it. Two specific commandments were especlolly designed as aids in the observation of this prohibition. It must be realized that the Jews during the biblical period were surrounded by pagan and barbaric races who were given to practices of idol worship and sorcery. As a matter of fact, up to the time of the granting of the Torah, the Jews themselves engaged in such conduct. It is therefore historically important to analyze measures taken by the Torah in combatting these tendencies. Of the two commandments sp oken of above, the first is to the effect that man should dominate the earth and its animal inhabitants. ( ' ) This implies a scientific attitude, bereft of superstition and witchcraft; an amazingly modern conception of the role of scientific investigation in achieving a victory over the elements of nature. The second of these commandments, more particular in character but likewise original and fundamental, involves the wearing of the ceremonial fringes, (-) to serve as a charm for educational purposes. The practice of wearing charms is almost as ancient as man and nearly as universal. As a rule, charms were implements of sorcery and witchcraft, although some were remedial in nature. Before differentiating, however, let us define the charm. A charm may be defined as an object worn somewhere on the body, in no wise materially visible, in order to produce a desired effect. To illustrate, a capsule containing radium which is brought into contact with some part of the body in order to destroy a malignant tissue Is not a charm since the influence of the radium is understandable in material and tangible terms. A coral worn on the body as a protection against the supposedly malignant effects of the evil eye is definitely a magic charm. 1 I :2S 2) n ' V ' V en ' ' iL-yi Z z o 1942 The efRcacy of a magic charm Is supposed to reside In Its power over ghosts, spirits and other entitles of the Immaterial world. Such power may be both positive and negative, offensive and defensive. It Is a positive and offensive power insofar as the spirit may be compelled to the performance of a task. It Is a negative and defensive power Insofar as the spirit Is prevented from accomplishing harm. Primarily, however, the role of the magic charm is a defensive one. It an object is worn on the body for purely remedial purposes, even though the precise nature of the action on the body is not clear, it is regarded as a medical instrument and Is not to be classified as a magic charm. This, in the writer ' s opinion, was the principle of Abaya and Raba (Sabbath, 67a) when they said: Everything which functions In a material, medical fashion. Is not to be regarded as sorcery. (• ' ) That this type of scientific medical appliance should also be perverted to magical charms by unscrupulous promoters. Is to be expected. A modern example of this is to be found In the writer ' s collection. Towards the end of the nineteenth century, a remedy for rheumatic diseases, circulated widely in Europe, was a fragment of leather or felt suspended between two metallic plates connected by strong thread. The whole contraption was hung around the neck by means of lace. Perspiration moistening it was supposed to charge the object electrically and the continuous current supposedly generated was regarded as the sure cure for rheumatism. So far as that aspect of it was concerned, the contrivance was surely a preposterously conceived medical charm. The manufacturer of this gadget had it shaped as a cross and It was commercially known as the Volta-Kreuz. hie obtained a license for it in Austria (No. 50704) and attempted to capitalize on Its magical as well as medical aspects. Thereafter observant Jews refused to purchase it and the crafty manufacturer resorted to shaping the charm in the form of a star and a half moon when he peddled It to Jewish customers. This story serves to demonstrate that the deep rooted superstitions underlying the charm, are still somewhat operative in our own day. The Torah taboos all charms of a magical nature because they are conducive to sorcery. An entirely novel and original type of charm, without any magic, was created by the Torah, however, which served even more effectively to remove the effects of sorcery and witchcraft from the Jewish people. This type of charm is pedagogical and educational. (L IV I5;37 ff.) The function of the fringes appended to the Jews ' clothing Is clearly educa- tional. It serves to remind the Jew of his religious duties and obligations which, by means of them, are ever present before the mind ' s eye. Besides its potency in the direction of rendering the Jewish people a distinctive and holy congregation, this educational charm also serves as a manifestation of the absence of magical significance. Z o 1942 sixtY.tK ' o Una foiilicai l nlloAopluj oj l Uoodrow vUild [6on by ABRAHAM KARP, 42 Since the inception of the American nation, two theories of government have stood in constant opposition. These theories are commonly associated with their respective champions during the formative stages of our government — Hamilton and Jefferson. Hamiltonism — government by an aristocratic group — denies that the great mass of common people have the ability to rule themselves. It upholds the all-importance of private property rights, and contends that persons who have the greatest financial stake in the commercial and industrial enterprises of our country are the ones qualified to conduct the government. Jeffersonian democracy has its roots in the dignity and sacredness of the human being. It proclaims confidence in the ability of the common people to rule for themselves. The twentieth century found in the United States a complete victory of Hamiltonism, in practice If not in theory. A special interest class had grown up and captured the government and the phrase by the people became just so much more Lincoln lore. Property rights were paramount. Human rights had become a pet phrase of the politicians, and no more. Into this setting stepped Wilson, a man with a principle and a purpose. The principle was the belief and trust in the average integrity and average intelligence of the American people , and the purpose to return the government to the people. Z z o Si xt three T942 Wilson ' s political ideals were a twentieth century restatement of Jeffersonian democracy. His is a vote of confidence in the common people, hie insists that the government be more concerned with human rights than property rights, for property is an instrument of humanity, humanity is not an instrument of property. He calls tor a release of the generous energies of our people , for a bettering of the fruit of government by the strengthening of the nourishing roots — the common people. He calls for a NEW FREEDOM, where people will be free • — and free to govern for themselves, for ' freemen need no guardians . Wilson calls not only for the political emancipation of the American people, but tor the economic as well. Economic liberty means the equilibration of the contending economic forces,- and ultimately their voluntary co-ordination. The Clayton Anti-Trust Law freed labor from the ensnaring web of anti-trust legislation by declaring that A man ' s labor is not a commodity or article of commerce, but a part of his life. The curse of bigness was recognized by Wilson as a paralyzing agent in American growth. Bigness upset the equipoise of America ' s economic structure. If survived only through the exploitation of the great mass of the American people. The anti-trust and anti-tariff forces found no greater champion than Wilson, for trusts and the tariff favored the privileged at the expense of the majority . Society IS an organism — government an organ. Government, says Wilson, exists as a social organ and its aim Is the accomplish- ment of the objects of organized society. Broadly speaking there have been four stages in the development of govern- ment: (I) where the government or governing body held the people subject by means of force; (2) where government was master not only by sheer force but by virtue of Insight and fitness; (3) where force and insight failed and the government found Itself face to face with the leaders of the people; and (4) where the leaders of the people became the governing agents. The last stage Is what we know as constitutional government. Wilson defines it as a government whose powers have been adapted to the Interests of its people and to the maintenance of individual liberty. The object of constitutional govern- ment is the maintenance of the practical adjustment between the power of the government and the privilege of the individual. A true doctrine for the objects of 1 Woodrow Wilson, The New Freedom. 2 This theory was greatly expanded and expounded by Justice Holmes in his writings and decisions. Tf 3 Here the influence of the thought of Justice Brande s is strongly felt. w Woodrov Wilson, Constitutional Government in the United States. Z 5 1942 Sixty-lour government would be one which gives wide freedom to the individual for his develop- ment and yet guards that treedom against competition that kills, and reduces the antagonism between self development and social development to a minimum. ' ' The basis ot government, then. Is the individuality of the human being, and the realization that man is a social being. Government is, in the final analysis, a government of men, not law. Wilson disagrees with the widely accepted belief, perhaps best stated in the Constitution of the State ot Massachusetts, that in the end this may be a government of law — not ot men. This he claims is, in effect, a play on words, for law is what man Interprets it to be. In a constitutional government, the law is interpreted by a judiciary, and In the end, constitutional government Is as good as its courts; no better — no worse. The responsibility placed upon the court system is very great. The function ot a judiciary in a constitutional government is to Interpret the law objectively, with one eye on the book and the other on the everchanglng pattern of social relationships In the given society. ' The duty of the representative bodies is primarily criticism and restraint. Wilson favors the type of representative government that Is found in England, where the main energies of parliament are devoted to question and debate, not to legislation. Systematically planned legislation Is to be proposed by the executive branch 0+ the government, and then considered and enacted by the legislature — or more correctly, the parliament. The executive of the state must feel the pulse of the people. formulate policy accordingly, and must at all times consider himself the chief spokesman for the people, — and as long as he correctly interprets the wishes of the people, he Is irreslstable, his power supreme. His duty it is as well to coordinate the various branches of government so that the state functions as an organic whole, that cooperation and efficiency exist In place of friction and jealousies. Wilson views society as dynamic. And since government is an organ of the organism, society, it too must be dynamic. The keynote to his New Freedom is Nothing is done in this country as it was done twenty years ago. - ' The structure of social relationships has changed, and government must change with it. There must be a constant adjustment of governmental assistance to the needs of a changing social and Industrial organization. This change In the disposition and policies of government must be parallel with the changes In the social scene. Political growth ■  Woodrow Wilson. The State. Woodrow Wilson. Constitutional Government in the United States. Here again the Influence of Brandels on Wilson comes to the fore, in his emphasis on the import- ance of the social scene. S Woodrow Wilson, The New Freedom. 9 Woodrow Wilson, The State. President Roosevelt has borrowed — ' i ■- .■■• - ' -r ...a - or . .-, philosophy of the New Deal. Si.vl.i- iiP z 5 1942 refuses to be forced; and insfitufions which have grown with the slow growth of social relationships, have changed in response not to new theories, but to new circumstances. ' -4 living people needs a leader In every generation all sorts of speculation and thinking tend to fall under the formula of the dominant thought of the age. After the Newtonian theory of the universe had been developed, almost all thinking tended to express itself in analogies of Newtonian Theory. The Constitution of the United States was made under the dominion of Newtonian thought. ' - It was formulated as a solar system wherein checks and balances keep the Executive, Legislative, and Judiciary branches in their respective orbits. By the time Wilson came upon the scene, Darwinism was the dominant matrix of thought. All phenomena were looked upon as developing organisms. The govern- ment, therefore. Is not a legal machine, but a living thing. And as a living thing, its life depends upon the cooperation of its various organs, not on the checks and balances of its different branches. Herein lies the formula of Wilson ' s criticism of the American government. In the system of government set up by the constitution, three distinct and separate parts offset and check one another. The Executive, Legislative, and Judiciary have their own delegated powers which they guard jealously. The result is that a vacuum is set up on the periphery of power — which is filled in by the political bosses. The real power of government lies in the hands of political adventurers, who, through force or insight have coordinated the branches of government so that they fit their own needs. American government needs a legally and publically recognized leader who would coordinate the various branches of government for the benefit of the public at large. With this In mind, Wilson wrote his brilliant dissertation Congressional Government , which shows the necessity for responsibility in American politics. By responsibility he meant the kind of leadership that has grown up in England. In an article which appeared in the Atlantic Monthly for April, 1886, Wilson claims, If we borrowed Ministerial responsibility from England ... we should sacrifice by Its adoption none of the great benefits and securltv which our federal system derives from clear enumeration of powers and an inflexible difficulty of amendment. ' - I ' l Woodrov Wilson, The State. 2 ' - Woodrov Wilson, The New Freedom, w 1 ! Woodrov Wilson, Responsible Government and the Constitution. z o 1942 Sixlr.six 1 lalionciiisl or lA elluerheXUrer By THEODORE FRANKEL ' 42 It is the purpose of this article to show that while Moses Hess was nothing less than a political Zionist in the modern sense, he nevertheless was an ardent believer in an imnninent renaissance of the Jewish people. This faith he based on two factors: ' the national character of Jewry, and the general world situation in his time. Hess believed that this tenacity and steadfastness would finally be acknowl- edged by the world, and that the Jews would be given the opportunity of reuniting as one people.- Secondly, he observed in his time a general conflagration of rising nationalism among the oppressed minorities, a flame which France, through its world shaking revolution, had kindled. France, the great champion of humanity, would serve as a prototype for a national renaissance, and Jewry would take its place alongside the other liberated nations. But this national renaissance, rather than being an end in itself, was for Hess a means for the religious rebirth of Israel. We are able to see this clearly when he says: Through national renaissance (we shall come) to the reawakening of the religious genius of Judaism . ' Hess regards the Jewish people as the chosen tool of G-d, the tool which will lead the whole world toward the understanding and love of the Almighty, and ultimately toward the Messianic kingdom. He claims that this Messianic era, a time when men will have a complete understanding of G-d, is already slowly being approached by mankind. The first sign of this he says, is a deepening of the understanding that men are not the center of the universe, and that their existence is not merely a consequence of the mechanical interplay of blind forces. We have already recognized that there exists a universal law according to which nature and men are created. This divine scheme connects in its unity the whole universe and binds together the organic, social and cosmic life. The difference between man and organic nature is that the former, as a rational being, is able to recognize the existence of the divine law. 1 Rome and Jerusalem pp. VII, 2. - Ibid. pp. VI, 29. _ 3 Ibid. pp. 127. 2 Z o Sixly-seifti 1941 When all mankind will recognize and conform with the divine order, we shall then have reached the Messianic era. To his further delight Hess sees in contemporary science an approach toward the understanding of this one law. He therefore con- cludes that the Messianic era cannot be far off. With the foregoing introduction, the author proceeds to the main argument of his book. He claims that long before science made the first hesitant steps toward the recognition of the universal law, Jewish genius proclaimed this thesis of universal ' ACHDUTH , and lived in accordance with it. Wenn wir den Geschishtsplan, wie er uns in den heiligen Schriften der Israellten vorliegt, mit vorurteilsfreien Geist erfassen, so erkennen wir in dem selben, nicht nur die Einheit des Menschens geschlechts, sondern das einzige Wesen des ganzen kosmischen, organischen, und sozialen Lebens. If we grasp the historical blueprint of the history of the world as the Holy Scriptures of the Israelites conceives it, we can recognize not only the unity of humanity but also the unity of the cosmic, organic and social Life. The Holy Scriptures assume the unity of G-d in spite of the manifold variety of His manifestations; it assumes the unity of the human race in spite of the variety of the human races because the whole plan of the history of the world was clearly apparent to the Geist of the Jewish Nation from the beginning of its history. The Jews had long ago propounded the unity of this great all-embracing law and force; they had long known that an Almighty power connects man and nature Indeterminately, so that they are one. When Israel had conceived and proclaimed this eternal truth, it began to live it. Israel ' s religion was crystalized into its h istory. The Jews began to live a Geshichts-Religion. And their mission throughout the ages was to teach the people of the world the eternal law of unity by living it. The Jewish religion was admirably adapted to teach this basic principle, its religious ceremonies and institutions spelling the spirit of nearness and oneness with G-d and the universe. Not only religion but nature itself equipped the Jewish race physically and spiritually for its great mission. ' Israel in its long period of exile always lived according to its mission. But the dire sufferings which the Jews experienced did not allow them to completely live up to their ideal. Another factor which hindered the Jewish genius in its development was the fact that the Jewish people were dispersed in foreign countries and spoke in foreign tongues. Jewish genius can reach its peak only in its own language, Hebrew, and in its own country, Palestine. To quote Hess: Was vollends die Einheit von Lehre und Leben betrifft, so kann nur eine Nation, welche sich staatlich organisiert sie in ihren sozialen Institutionen zur Wahrheit machen. In its own country, the Jewish religious elan will raise the Jewish nation to the heights of religious and social life and by brilliant example it will inspire the other n ' ations to follow it. This then would witness the ushering in of the Messianic era. All sciences are for us: France will return Palestine to us and there we shall build a model state in which we shall realize the idea of Achduth. i Ibid pp. 128. 2 ' ' Ibid. Note VII pp. 214.226. 6 Ibid. p. 128. Z 5 1942 Sixty-eight Jewish national revival was for Hess not an aim in itself but rather a mean for religious Jewish renaissance and the subsequent religious rebirth of all nations. Hess was not a nationalist in the modern sense, but he loved his people ardently and he could give his love no better expression than by proclaiming his people to be the chosen tool of divine providence for human redemption. Hess was a dreamer and a romanticist; he was what the Germans call a weltverbesserer . All his life he had sought to improve mankind. In his search he had gone astray, he had encountered Marxism and liberalism, the philosophies of the international proletariat and bourgeoisie respectively. Now he came back disillusioned and disappointed. Surprisingly enough, he found home after some twenty-five years. ' Sentimentalist that he was, he loved his old-new home with passion. Thus it was only natural for him to find in the teaching of his people the panacea for human suffering. What he had looked for in vain in the great world, he found right in his own home! He was so overwhelmed by this discovery that he did not take the time to organize his ideas in an orderly fashion. He had to inform mankind at once about the marvellous cure he had found for all their sufferings. He could not hold back any longer, he had to awaken his people and show them their great mission. As a result, his book is without any preconceived order, without even the slightest attempt at organization of ideas. He merely jotted down in a stream of consciousness everything that occurred to him. His book presents to the reader a hodge-podge of impressions, thoughts, aphorisms, wishes, and polemics mixed together and served in letter form. It merely represents the writer ' s attempt to transcribe psychological experiences in terms of a logical structure. It is not the message which Hess conveys to us that has intrinsic values for us today, but rather his fiery love and fervent devotion to his people which manifests itself in every sentence. Thus, he asserts that the Jews are a superior race, who are destined to lead the peoples of the earth to Messianic kingdom. In order to drive home this point he offers the most far-fetched proofs. By exaggerating and misinterpreting Darwin ' s theory he attempts to prove Israel ' s racial superiority and the doctrine of the chosen people . By long exploded biological experiments he tries to establish the unity of the universe scientifically. There is no attempt made to build up a system of philosophy. The notions lack clarity and the language is obscure. In Hess, we see a kindred, though much inferior, spirit to Yehuda Halevi. Like this great poet he believed that Israel is the heart of the nations, G-d ' s chosen tool of the redemption of the world. He, too, proclaims that Israel can live a complete life only in the land of the fathers and the Hebrew language. With this national love he combines the love for all mankind. See Waxman ' s introduction to the English translation of ' Rome and Jerusalem , p. 18-39. z z 5 1942 laucer 6 a rolluS and L reSdidi a by HENRY MARSOLIS ' 42 Stories of the middle ages, as is now well known, are intimately connected with the history of English fiction and show a strong influence on the modern novel. These stories appeared in the form of legends, tales, ballads, and romances, but the most important and significant form of literature at the time was the romance. Commonly, medieval romance is separated into three divisions: Matter of France, Matter of Britain, and Matter of Rome or Antiquity. In this particular paper we shall concern ourselves with the development of a romance stemming from the Matter of Antiquity, for from this story there evolved what was perhaps the crowning achievement of literary effort of the middle ages, Chaucer ' s Troilus and Cressida. Interestingly enough, the English at this time considered themselves Trojan by descent and therefore were quick to takes stories of Troy to their hearts. In the second century, (i) Dictys Cretensis transcribed the annals of the Trojan war in a work entitled Ephemeris Belli Trojani, and in the sixth century another history of the war was written by Dares Phrygius, Historia Exchidis Trojae. But the first important use of this theme during the middle ages was Roman de Troie, by Benoit de Sainte More, which was a popular poem of some thirty thousand lines. Another important version of this romance, called hiistoria Destructionis Trojae, was penned by Guido delle Colonne and was based for the most part on Dares ' work. Aside from these, there were numerous other adaptations of this theme, among which might be mentioned De Bello Trojano by Joseph Exeter, Caxton ' s Recuyell of the Historyes of Troyes, and finally, the Geste hiystoriale of the Destruction of Troy, which is the earliest extant version of the theme in English, a translation of Guido. From the mass of information contained in these many works and with the aid of Boccaccio ' s II Filostrato, Chaucer derived the material which forms the basis of his masterpiece of extended narration. While a good many of the details of the development of the tale of Troilus and Cressida are lost, enough remains to give us an idea of how the romance evolved. In Dares ' work, a character named Briseida, Achilles ' mistress, is mentioned briefly and a young warrior, Troilus, is noticed in passing, but nowhere is mention made of a connection between the two. As far as can be determined, Briseida ' s love for Troilus and Diomed was developed in tales now lost to us. Jk Authorities differ as to the date when Dictys lived; some of them, like Karl Young, claiming he wrote in the fourth century. V Z O tw Mm Seventy In the Benolt version, the author places ennphasis on Diomed ' winning over Briselda ' s love which had been pledged to Trollui. Boccaccio shifted the emphasi ' ,, making the affair between Troilus and Cressida the most innportant in the boot. The Italian, who had been deserted by his lady,(-) apparently wrote his Filostrato to express his sentiments about the unfortunate affair. In Boccaccio, Briseida becomes Griselda and at the same time a widow. Another character is introduced in Pandaro, her cousin, a gay gallant who compromises Griselda to satisfy his friend, Troilus. Boccaccio makes several other changes as well. The siege of Troy is relegated to the background and the Troilus story Is brought to the fore. Boccaccio gives an account of Troilus ' love from Its inception while Guldo and Benolt give us to understand that Troilus was already the accepted lover of Cressida. (• ' ) Chaucer gleaned the high points of all these various versions and composed the supreme work of them all. Troilus and Cressida is more than an approximation of a modern novel; It Is a novel completely modern and able to stand on its own merits as comparable to the best of fictional narrative. Its plot is carefully manipulated with the dramatic force of the author everywhere in evidence, its characters are brilliantly delineated, and Its subtle psychological unfolding skillfully wrought. The modern reader might be inclined to think the novel verbose: he might feel the speeches to be too long; he might believe the lengthy discussions on predestination and free will to be superfluous. But he must realize that Chaucer was a product of his times. A man who was conversant v. ' Ith Boethlus De Consolatione Philosophie would naturally tend to dwell on predestination and free will, a highly disputed subject in Chaucer s day. Long declamatory speeches were the order during this period. Yet, even on the basis of criteria which we establish for a great work today, Troilus and Cressida must rank, if not among the best of novels, at least among the greatest of narrative poems. In handling a story in which mental conflict is of foremost Importance, Chaucer proves himself well able to cope with the psychological novel. As a master of detail and characterization, he need not give way to any author. There Is not much difference between the plots of Chaucer ' s work and the Filostrato, ' yet one feels that he Is reading an entirely different work in the Engllshman s endeavor. Pandaro becomes Cre5slda s uncle and is no longer loose in his morals. He Is a sincere friend of Cressida and Troilus, doing his utmost for their mutual benefit and protection. Chaucer ' s Pandarus Is completely unselfish, pointing all his efforts for the happiness of the lovers. His never-failing wit and good humor sparkle throughout like the rays of the sun dancing on the ocean swells, bobbing up and down, but ever present so long as the sun continues to shine. And when gloom settles over his friend, Pandarus persists in his efforts to assist Troilus. 2 Kltteredge, G. L., Chaucer and His Poetry, Harvard University Press, 1916. p. 121. French, R., A Chaucer Handbook. F. S. Crofts Co., 1936. Chap. 3. z z o 1942 Exactly why Pandarus is so much Interested in arranging the affair between the two is subject to many interpretations. Perhaps he felt that such an arrangement would be advantageous to his niece, for Troilus was a prince of wide renown and of upright character, a temptation for any woman. Perhaps he felt it his duty, as a close friend of the prince, to aid him in gaining that which would make him happy. Perhaps it was a combination of these reasons. In modern terms we might explain the matter by sSying that as a frustrated lover Pandarus was anxious that others be happy in their love affairs. There is just one mention in the book that he was indeed a frustrated lover. Troilus says to him, If thou hast had in love ay yet mischaunce. And canst it not out of thyn herte dryve As for Troilus, he is the central character of the book and all the action revolves about him. he is pictured in the best tradition of the middle ages, a brave knight who suffers untold torment for his beloved. fHis is a tragic figure and, from the very first lines, the dark shadow of doom casts itself over him. The double sorwe of Troilus to teilen. That was the king Priamus sone of Troye, In lovinge, how his aventures fellen Fro wo to wele, and after out of joye This feeling that Troilus cannot escape his fate pervades the entire story, oppressing the reader constantly. hlis love for Cressida brings about great changes in the Trojan prince. Where he was scornful, he becomes humble; his cynicism is converted into a feeling of humility, which is his most appealing characteristic. fHis love for Cressida is pure and fiery, as faultless as newly fallen snow and as hot as the burning gases of the sun. Before meeting Cressida, Troilus could say, sneeringly, I have herd told, pardieux, of your livinge. Ye lovers, and your lewede observaunces. And which a labour folk han in winninge Of love, and in the keping, which doutances; And whan your preye is lost, wo and penaunces; O verrey foles! nyce and blinde be ye; Ther nis not oon can war by other be. But once having set his eye on the fair Cressida, Troilus quickly changed his tune. Oh fool, now are thou in the snare. That whilom japedest at love peynes 2 Now artow hent, now gnaw thyn ownes cheyne. Z 5 1942 Seventy-tivo And then, attor having felt the first pangs of love, the amorous swain could not refrain from bursting forth into this paean of love. If no love is, O god, what fele I so? And if love is, what thing and whiche is he? If love be good, from whennes comth my wo? If it be wikke, a wonder thinketh me, When every torment and adversitee That cometh of him, may to me savory thinke; For ay thurst I, the more that I it drinke. Professor J, S. Tatlock says, Troilus ' portrait is ill balanced since valor is seen mostly in the background and is usually relegated to things of the heart. The purpose is not to sculpture him in the round, merely in high rellef. ( ' ) It would seem that Professor Tatlock has missed an important point, namely that in the middle ages the role of the heart in the drama of life was a leading one. Once one takes into con- sideration the period during which this book came to light, a period in which the people were brought up on stories of I ' amour, then one can see Troilus as a well rounded character. Of course, Troilus does not seem to have the powerful characteristics of Diomed; he is not so aggressive as the Greek. But apparently that is the impression with which Chaucer wanted to leave us. It is Cressida who proves to be the most interesting figure in this great love story, the one who arouses the greatest amount of speculation, for she is as baffling to herself as she is enigmatic to us. All of Chaucer ' s power of characterization was brought to bear in fashioning this character. She is a complete individual, a real, live, three-dimensional figure, breathing with the vitality which the author has instilled in her. Chaucer describes Cressida as being tendre-herted, slyding of corage and this description is indeed a happy expression of her character. At the same time she is cautious, highly intelligent, considering all facets of a problem before arriving at any conclusions, and she is cool headed. Even while being untrue to Troilus, she commiserates with him and suffers with him, for her soft heart makes her feel for him. But her head rules her heart and even in the very heat of her love-making with Troilus, the cock ' s crow announcing the break of dawn brings her down to earth and the realization that the time for love is done. • ' Tatlock, J. S., The People in Chaucer ' s Troilus, P.M.L.A., Vol. LVI, No. (. Z O Serenly -three 1942 According to the medieval frame of reference, Cressida ' s sin was not her affair with Troiius but rather her forsaking the Trojan for Greek Diomed. Chaucer passes judgment on Cressida for her fa.ithlessness but does not set himself up as her executioner. Once her usefulness in the progress of the story is completed, the author has done with her. He is willing to permit his readers and future interpreters of the theme to do with Cressida what they will. In this respect, Shakespeare saw fit to follow the path of Chaucer. (■■) But one poet, Robert Henryson, in his Testament of Cressida, felt that she should be punished for the wrongdoing she committed and made the priest ' s daughter suffer a most horrible end. In his treatment, Cressida is forsaken by Diomed and finally becomes a leper who lives, as did all lepers, by begging. Troiius, returning from a successful foray against the Greeks, passes Cressida on the road and, his heart stirred by pity, throws the mendicant a gift of money, not recognizing his former lover. Thus does poetic justice wreak its vengeance on the hapless Cressida. Although Troiius and Cressida owes a great deal to Filostrato there are a number of differences between the two which not only mark Chaucer ' s work as the superior, but which indicate that the English version is more original than one might be led to believe from a cursory examination. In Chaucer, the significance of the work is not in Cressida ' s treachery but in the hardness of fate. Boccaccio makes fickleness the moral of his story. As Snell puts it, ' Filostrato ' has exterior grace, is wholly sensuous in tone, preaches no philosophy, exhibits no knowledge of the human heart. From this alone we can see the great difference between the two works. Troiius and Cressida stands at the pinnacle of literary achievement of the middle ages. It has as much originality as any of Shakespeare ' s works. While the book is written in the best tradition of the period, it contains a spark which transcends the time in which it was written, the spark of greatness. If medieval narration can boast of nothing else, Troiius and Cressida stands in its defense. 2 5 Shakespeare ' s Troiius and Cressida is an in-ferior effort, interesting only in the development of this theme. Z 5 ■ 942 Seventy-four lie J4utnor in ( JiaiihA VUorhs by ISRAEL LERNER. ' 43 Incorporating within himselt two aspects ot the Jewish soul, suffering innposcd by a holocaust ot hostility and laughter emanating from an inner radiating source. Chaim Nachman Bialik (1873-1934) bequeathed to us a multi-faceted literary worlr. Although his tame rests primarily on those works in which he shows the perpetually pitiable plight ot the Jews, his other works must not be neglected. A man who refuses to become deaf to life ' s lighter chatter in spite of the predominating volume ot its graver elements, shows that he and the people he comes from, are of stern stuff. Bialik ' s soaring imagination rebelled against literary narrowness. Just as he did not limit his fiery thoughts to one specified literary mold, so drd he not exploit one mine of humor to the exclusion of all others. His writings contain spices that were originally ground by his literary teacher and friend, Mendele Mocher Seforim, but they also have a powerful original flavor. Mendele methodically built up a long story whenever he felt constrained to satirize certain aspects of Jewish life in Czarist Russia. Bialik, on the other hand, expresses the essence of his observations in a few lines ot poetry, or in a short story, in such a manner that clearly chiseled works ot art emerge before our eyes. Bialik hurls his satiric shafts against emptiness. While he views with scorn the materialistic point of view and the profound ignorance of certain Main Street Jews, he objects still more strenuously to the half-baked intellectual. Knowing that opportunity for material and cultural advancement was curtailed in Romanov Russia. Bialik could sympathize somewhat with the unlearned small town Jew. This can be seen from the two stories, Aryay Baal-Guf( ' ) and Behind the Fence. ' ' In these works he describes a healthy, ignorant and indifferent type of Jew, the type represented by Aryay and Noah, the two heroes. The author is interested in them not because he approves of their way of life, but because the recesses of their minds at least do not serve as hideouts of hypocrisy. Even when Bialik writes more bluntly about the small-town type of Jew, as in his poem Who Knows the City of Listina? ) we can find a good-natured undertone beneath its satiric lines: What ' s the business of a Listinite? There ' s one who belches, one who sweats, And one who yawns every night. There ' s a joker, and one gets Maftir without missing an affair; And one whose hogs ' -hairs business nets Him millions, if there were hogs there. ( ) 1 Complete Works, Tel-Av!v, 1933. Book Two, Page One. -Ibid. Page 39. « 3 Complete Works, Book One. Page 201. ■ All quotations are free translations by writer of this essay from the original. z a 1942 However he found very few good words for the aforementioned individuals who left the intellectual oven too soon and who thought of themselves as finished teachers and writers, whereas in reality they were but callow artists in content and style. It is no wonder that so erudite a person in Jewish learning as Bialik, regarded the invasion of the provinces of Jewish culture and Jewish affairs by the self-styled intellectuals and leaders as sacrilege of the meanest sort. In the description entitled The Merchant, ( ' j a short, stocky, gesticulating, slow-witted, and nimble-tongued fellow is drawn quickly but expertly before our eyes. The merchant is the financial wizard of the community. The trouble is that he is regarded as the buzzard of the town. The preceding year he proclaimed at the top of his voice and from the bottom of his heart that they should give him wine for business purposes. But, he told them, to keep away from pickles as from cholera. Heeding not his words, his fellow merchants did just the opposite, dragged him into it, and he was almost ruined; that is to say his financial ability to carry on business was over. But do not think the finer and nobler things in Judaism escape his attention. Here are the Merchants ' s own words in portraying his contribution to the survival of Zionism. So, so .... I work. I and my cousin Velvel. Last Simchas Torah I and my cousin Velvel wanted to take a Torah to a separate room In which the donations would be dedicated for Zionlstic purposes .... came up our two fathers, mine and Velvel ' s, and said ' no. ' What can you do with a father? Suddenly Velvel sprang up ... . Let ' s exchange. You take care of my father and I will take care of yours .... and so it was. I pushed Velvel ' s father away and Velvel pushed mine. And the Torah was taken to a separate room .... By the way, tell me, to whom do I have the honor of speaking .... V hat! An author? Then I ' ll read my poem to you right now. It only has one hundred and nineteen stanzas. (-) Nevertheless Blallk, the humorous, friendly, smiling Bialik cannot condemn a man completely. He says of the merchant; Sometimes .... I say: good for nothing .... go to ... . and at times I sigh and say: You pure soul . . Woe to you and woe to your llte! (- ) Blalik ' s satire, unlike most satires, is constructive. While a great many satiric works are written in a superclllious vain, and therefore tend to grind everything distasteful to dust, Bialik ' s Is in the nature of a prop to strengthen the weak points in the Jewish life about him. Where decay has set in in the structure of Jewish society, our author uses his devastating tools with effect. However, even then, we can discern a method in the destruction as if the author ' s blueprint called for saving the 1 fbid. Book Tv o. Page 167. 2 Ibid. Page 170. 3 Ibid. Page 167. z 5 1942 bits of good material that are intermingled with the decaying matter. Since it c a labor ot love it accomplishes complete results. For by ferreting out the fault ' , of the fathers, Bialik aids the younger generation to build high enough to reoch it-. fonS ' ; ' . ' aspirations. Occupying the next place of importance in Bialik ' s humor is the anecdot-j. In the satire the faults of his fellow Jews are depicted, while in the anecdote, hi-. own personal failings are described. Sitting on a pinnacle is, at its best, a lonely position, and at its worst a precarious adventure which may end in a downward plunge with the slightest false move, hie therefore never desired to inspire awe in the hearts of people. The anecdotes reveal him as decidedly human and, therefore. aH the more lovable. In Aftergrowth ! ' ) Bialik describes how, as a child, he learned the alphabet. Looking at the hiebrew alphabet for the first time, he began to probe his childish memory in an attempt to find something associable with the letters. Little by little the letters assumed the shape of soldiers in a marching line. The third letter which had its foot forward, (the gimmel ) especially enchanted him. The Rabbi, without much ado, began by showing him the Aleph when he was checked by a troubled look on the child ' s face. Well, what is the matter? inquired the Rabbi. What are you looking for? The drummer, was the response of the child, who couldn ' t conceive of an army without one. The Rabbi eyed him, transfixed. Goy, this is an ' aleph ' . Say aleph, aleph. (-) But the army fixation persisted in putting up a last ditch fight until a thorough thrashing effected its annihilation. Even more indicative of Bialik ' s preference to be regarded as a man of the people is the short sketch entitled: To the Rule of the March. P) The poet was sitting one day in his chamber and was trying to find an appropriate rhythm and meter to form the lines of poetry that were in his mind, when the martial rhythm of a march burst forth In the street. A parade of soldiers was passing by. Enchanted by the tune of the march, the whole population of the town seemed to keep It going long after the parade passed away. The woman swept the stairs to the tune of the march. The woodchopper accomplished his task In the same manner. Everybody was captivated. Gregarious animals thought our poet. One march tune comes along and destroys all their individuality. The cursed thing will probably rule the town for many days to come. Ah, it is only we poets who were endowed with the 1 Ibid Page 121. Ivtost of the material in the story is autobiographical. 2 Ibid Page 132. S Ibid Paae 202. Seventy-seren o 1942 gift of Individuality. Suddenly our poet felt that the inspiration for the proper rhythm had arrived. He wrote his poem. To his immense amazement, after it was finished he noticed that it followed not the pathways of the excepted rhythm but instead it was infested with that of the march. The magnetic power of the anecdote lies not only in the fact that personal experience, if interesting, arouses interest in others, but also because an anecdote mirrors a past of which we or our ancestors were once a part. Our own memory or imagination brings to the fore actual occurrences or fabricated stories of the times with which the anecdote deals. Many people may be prejudiced against certain portions of the meat of history as being too heavy to digest, but most of us can stomach the gravy without undue difficulties. Cooking this gravy, however, requires skill of which few are possessed. Bialik ' s anecdotes are so expertly flavored and satisfying that we usually call for a second and third helping. In the article entitled The Melltz, The Tsfira, and the Color of the Paper ( ' ) a new way of studying geography is presented. Allowing practically no secular studies in the Yeshivos of those days, the teachers left it to the ingenuity of the pupils to pick up some broken crumbs of knowledge. Bialik, as a young boy, desired to learn some geography. In opening various editions of the tractates of the Talmud, he noticed names of cities such as Slavita and Zitomir. Now every tractate of the Zitomir edition was beautifully bound and printed. As a consequence, a picture of a clean, slushless, sunny city suggested itself. hHer people emerged as healthy and good natured specimens of hlomo Sapiens. On the other hand, the blurred print, rough paper and weak binding of the Slavita edition suggested a bleak and dreary image for their point of origin. The boy ' s mind fancied a perpetual snow and rain beleaguering a treeless city whose people must have suffered horribly from colds and tuberculosis. However, this mental edition of local geography had to be revised somewhat when the boy grew up and found out that it was not at all difficult to become ill at Zitomir and that Slavita was actually surrounded by forests and served as a health resort for tuberculars. The lighter side of the struggle within Jewish education, whether or not to permit secular learning, unfolds Itself. Pleading for the affirmative side of the controversy, the anecdote, In revealing the Inquisitive nature of a boy, is a more powerful argument than a dozen long-winded speeches. Not neglecting other aspects of humor, Bialik generously sprinkles Prince Onions and Prince Garlic with puns. A work of a farcical nature Is The Short Friday. But satire and anecdote are Bialik ' s chief vehicles of humorous expression. For they are not merely palatable pills which act as antidotes to the overdoses of melancholia, but they teach us, albeit in the sugar coated manner, about the people and the times which produced that unique phenomenon of Hebrew literature, Chalm Nachman Bialik. 1 Ibid Page 203. VI Z B 1942 Sprenty-P ' iihl I [orclciUj he L real f eatl l By WILLI FRANKEL ' 44 In several months the Zionist world will observe the twentieth anniversary of the death of Max Nordau, whose numerous activities have provided fascinating material for biographers and reviewers. Besides being celebrated as a great Zionist, the author of the Conventional Lies of Our Civilization gained renown for his Interpretation of History , historical dramas, as well as other contributions to world literature. Today, a generation after his death, Nordau ' s greatness is realized in an entirely new light; that of Nordau, the statesman. During the last years of his life, Nordau was subjected to violent criticism by the Zionist leaders because he refused to believe that the Balfour Declaration signified the realization of Zionist aspirations. The criticism against Max Nordau was best expressed by Dr. Zwi Perez Chajes, Chief Rabbi of Vienna, in a eulogy delivered at a memorial service for the great Zionist. Herzl was a novelist, dreamer, and romanticist. Nordau was a scientist and a realist, endowed with extraordinary sharpness of mind. This pair stood at the head of the Zionist movement, and one might have expected that Max Nordau, the realist, should be the one to engage in politics, and not Dr. Herzl. However, the con- trary happened. Herzl became the politician while Nordau was never one. Nordau never played an active part in the birth of Zionism. There is a good reason for this. A pure rationalist cannot become a great statesman. He is in need of that romanticism and power of imagination which were possessed by Theodore Herzl. To gain a clearer insight into the matter necessitates further acquaintance with the Zionist activities of Max Nordau. In the creation of Zionism he played the role of moderator to Herzl ' s romanticism. Nordau played the Aaron to Herzl ' s Moses in Zionist leadership. Nordau could not participate in the activities preceding the Balfour Declaration, since at that time he was an exile in Spain. Immediately after the termination of the war he was called to London. However, he turned away from Weitzman and the other Zionist leaders, impelled by a critical understanding of the Balfour Declaration, which, he felt, could not withstand scrutiny under the microscope of pure reason. Weitzman, the romanticist, saw in it an auspicious promise. In vain Nordau warned his fellow Zionists at the Palestine Conference, which took place in 1 Dr. Max RosenfeldrZ. P. Chales | Reden Schrlften) Vienna. 1933. Seventy-nine z B 1942 London in 1920, that there was a clique of reactionaries in Whitehall to whonn the Balfour Declaration meant exactly nothing. hHowever, the world at that time was a fertile ground for romanticism. The fortress of reaction and anti-semitism, the Romanoff empire, had been overthrown and the new regime had promised complete freedom to the Jews. Prussian militarism which was one of Europe ' s anti-semitic factors was no more. England and the United States had found in Lloyd George and Woodrow Wilson liberal leaders who were outspoken friends of the Jewish people and the Zionist movement. Men like the Kaiser and the Sultan had disappeared from the European arena and humanitarians like Masaryk and Briand assumed leading roles in the management of political affairs. There is no wonder that romanticists like Weitzman and Chajes hoped for a new world, a world where all nations would recog- nize the old injustices done to the Jews and would strive towards their elimination. There is also no wonder that Weitzman and Chajes hailed the Balfour Declaration as the beginning of the end of the Diaspora, and were angered by Nordau ' s skepticism. But Nordau the realist, scientist, and historian had to be skeptical. Nordau denied the existence of real progress in our civilization. He felt that the fact that fewer acts which the law regards as offences are committed, may be connected with the fact that in a better ordered State there is more supervision, and every trans- gression is immediately discovered and punished. With his instincts and passions, civilized man is no more moral than the savage, and man today is probably no different from his earliest predecessor. The chains that bind them are stronger, they are the ordinances of the State. But let them be once unfastened or even relaxed, and the demons will break out and rage as fearsome as of old. Nordau continues to show that the only progress man has achieved has been in the field of technical inventions. hHowever, it certainly denotes no advance in morality; the master of all the technical Inventions of modern times is not necessarily only the better for them. They may, under certain circum- stances, make it easier for him to satisfy his criminal selfishness. They do tempt him to abuse his superiority. No wonder then that Nordau, who did not believe In human progress, was skeptical of the Balfour Declaration, and saw in that liberal era of the I920 ' s only a transition period to another reactionary age, a new age of pogroms, wars and Ghettos. Weitzman possessed and still possesses that amount of romanticism which we find in hierzl ' s Judenstaat . However, It would be wrong to say that Herzl was com- pletely unrealistic. The founder of the Zionist movement lived the life of an assimilated Jew. He was nearer to Catholicism than to Judaism when his eyes were opened at the Dreyfus trial. With the enthusiasm of a fresh convert he sat down to find a solution to the Jewish problem. He believed he had found it in the Judenstaat . However, the Judenstaat was a mere dream based on wishful thinking rather than on the realities of life. In the Judenstaat Herzl proposed that Antisemltism was Z merely an outgrowth from materialistic roots. Z D 1942 Eighty He was convinced that once the Jev would show his willingness fo return to his homeland, all nations and governnnents would support him enthusiastically. This belief was nothing more than a grand Illusion. The hatred against the Jew is based on something more than commercial competition. It has deeply-sunk psychological bases, which cannot be disposed of in two words. When Herzl wrote his Judenstaat , he wrote as a layman. Therefore, it Is not realistic, but a dream-vision. But after completing the Judenstaat , he became a Jewish leader schooled In the vicissitudes of Jewish tragedies. He saw that he could not expect much help from either his gentile adversaries, or from his Jewish brethren. So Her7l the rominfi ' -i ' .t ond dreamer passed, and a new Herzl, a realistic Herzl was born. And this Herzl was a Zionist. For the Judenstaat, as Nordau said, Is an Idealistic flight to heaven, it is no political national programme. ' ' In the Judenstaat Herzl was only a poet. How- ever, after having lived In the heaven of Idealism he delved to earth, to reality. Here he founded Zionism, which Is the policy carrying out the underlying ideas of the Judenstaat . Judenstaat and Zionism are not identical. The Judenstaat is a dream-vlslon. Zionism must be realistic. Max Nordau carried on HerzTs Zionism and Weltzman has been carrying on Herzl ' s Judenstaat policy. He has been laboring under illusory ideals. In the world of Illusions, wrote Nordau, men are as comfortable as in the warm huts inside which the cold, storm, and rain without go unobserved. However, the cold blast of reality pi erces the world of illusion and lays waste Its fair order .- Weitzman has not yet dealt with reality, he has been carrying on the tradition of Herzl ' s romantic Judenstaat . He has been convinced of the sympathy of the other nations, just as Herzl was when he wrote the Judenstaat . And In the cold blast of reality repre- sented by Hitler, the Grand Mufti and the Colonial Office, we find Chaim Weitzman helpless. But realists like Nordau could not be caught by surprise by Nazism or by the Colonial Office clique. Nordau foresaw In his Conventional Lies of Our Civiliza- tion the rise of Fascism and Communism, warning us more than twenty years ago against Britain ' s Indifference towards Zionism. ' G O 1 Max Nordau, Tlieodore Herzl und der Judenstaat ' - (vlax Nordau, Interpretation of History. Willey Bool Co. N. Y. 1910 pp. 408-409. o z z 1942 VARSITY SHOW YESHiVR COLLEGE Eighty-two • ri ' .U ' ii iiift lie I ' Ki-.silii ' I ' liiH Jh urith ' ii for the n-riiril. Willi iiiiir cyi; lioiicriilly tiiriir l to | inti-rilv, iiikI iIk- ollwr r uilv iM ' lliniiiK ii|m ii iIi.- ioinl iiirin- orirN .iC III. ' pilHt (iiimI mo niiiiii Us :.I,. uI III. ' .i. ' . ' .lln. ' V ol o.ir III. nil nMom), til. wi ' il.r has li. ' ri ' iii iill.ni |il. ' il l.i . ' iiiii|iil. ' tli. ' coiiiiil. ' l. ' s. ' l ' i|its ol III. Va .il SIm.o-. UN Ih. ' v  . ' ■. ' i.r. ' M. iil. ' .l ill til. ' I...iii| oi ' I All. II- l..l ' illlM 0 . ' l ' II IM ' lio.l ol llll ' . ' . ' . ' iirN iill.l l. a llll. ' Ili.ni ill lull. III. ' pliriis. ' ns ||i. ' « w. ' l. ' i.r. ' s. ' lll. ' .l In iin. ' .I ii lvi-.. ' (llK I..I ' , lis tiios. ' wlio IV. ' I ' . ' ill liny wiiy |iiii ' li ' i|iiiiit will ii. ' kiioivl. ' .l . ' ill. ' I ' . ' WHS alw]i s iii]iii n .■liiiii ' .- ' iwisl III. ' s. ' i ' i|il iiii.l til. ' |ir. .. ' iilii- tioii. ' i ' lii ' i ' i ' Tor. ' , 1. 1 |ir. ' s. ' r . ' in iiii . ' ii.liii-iii loliii a l ' . ' . ' . l l ol III. ' till ' . ' . ' al ' sil Shows. ol whi. ' h oi ' i«:iiial I ks hax. ' ali. ' a.l h. . ' ' II varilv, as a iiioiii.-iilo I ' .ir llios. ' who liavi- w.iik.ii on Ih. ' iii. and — this .|il1 i.l.iillt — perhaps as a f;iiiil. ' for I ' liliir. ' s.iipi wril. ' rs, this arli. ' lc has li. ' . ' ii .-.iMipos.il. N.ii. ' ihal no . ' laiiii is iiia.l. ' that lh. ' arc liiiii;: piih- lish.-.l lor Ih.-ir litcrarv alii. ' . rilt. ' ii iiiiil. ' r pr.-ssiirc to III. ' . ' I a il. ' a.liin. ' . an. I li ' tiip.r. ' .l bv the voiilhrnl in. ' xp. ' ri.n. ' . ' .il lli.ir .r.-a- tors. ih. ' v ar. ' n.it that ' .lo.l. I li.is. ' who ha . ' s. ' . ' ii thi ' shows will p. ' rhaps .iijim the s. ' ripts with til. ' ai.l .if isllal in. ' iiiorv iniafr. ' s. I ' .ir th.isc carping .rili.s who s. ' .k li.r. ' lli. ' pi ' . l. ' ssioiial loii. ' h. Ih. ' .I. ' ll a . tli. ' siilith ' I ' lirlain liii. ' . ih. ' iiilriialc pl.il strii.iiii ' . ' . and lire .lisapp.iinti ' .l. I. I tliiiii r. ' in.nih. ' r that this ... is «ritl. ' ii lor ih.- r. ' .or.l. The varsity sh.iw ha.l its f.MM«sis in VrM . for il was in iMar.li of that . ' ar that ih. ' first . ' lassnit. ' was h.l.l in ih. ' l)..riiiilorN R -. ' .pli..n Hall. A r.porl. ' .l tw.. hnn.lr. ' .l spi- ' lal..rs . ' I ' ow.l. ' .l Ih. ' i ' .,„ii,. f.ir tli. ' ad- mission pri. ' . ' of I ' Ills, p.-r . ' . ' 111 lo wat.-h the juniors win tli. ' (irsi .lass il. ' lianii.r in a sli.Mv that lasted until two in lli. ' iiiorning. One short year later, the first hie Class Mie was held, on Miiieli 12. 19;i9. in Lamport Atiditoriiim. This was an all out afTnir, iiieltiding four elass shows, voeal ren- ditions by a lady guest, dranialir aeeolades awarded to Harold Polikoff ' s Bishop of Muensler . and finally, anecdotes by Ezra Stone, who had disregarded the storm lo keep his appoiiitnient. (Rain and other forms of bad weather, incidentally, have become the handmaidens of a Yeshiva ( ' ol- lege production, and display an affinity for a Varsity Show as remarkable as sneezing for hay fever.) The Ulasinid reports of that occasion ihat the seniors stole home with subtle luiinor in their ••Aleilialious on Grad- uation . The size of the show amazed the audience and, apparently, befuddled the judges, for the Masinid continues Amidst a chorus of disapi roval. the seniors slunk into first place. It was not until the f.illowing year that the Social e.iiiiiiiitt. e li.-gan loving with the idea of a varsil show f.ir lli. ' spring pro- duction. A s.ri])l-writing campaign was launched hut evidenth the plan was too large for iniiiiediale realization, for after the script coinniittee re-worked the one play submitted, it hit upon the plan of using il as a curtain raiser and iinilier for the entire class ni_le. and thus was the first varsity show. Spy-loons , born. Because more lime had been lavished upon it ihan any single class was disposed to devote to its own show, and because it drew upon the talents of the entire school. Spy-toons was the toast -sy, VAWrA l, M..jri Kpniein. ' 42 of I.I. ' ev. iiing on March . ' . 1911). Noniliu- Nioni ' lK w.iiild hii e heal ih.-ir hi-ad iiKiiitKl Ih. ' wall with .l. ' liKhl at the .iKht. for  • wi Ih.r. ' was no .iirlaiii. IIkIiI- -lill llir. w lh. . haro.jl.. ' sha.low.. (wlii.h w.r. ....t I., h. olilil. ' rat. ' il for tw.i iiior.- war ) anil .reiMTy was at  iniiiiiniini ... a chair, a tahl. ' . n sign . . . Th. ' phit wiia iiiipliril itx ' lf . , . till. ' . ' foreign ngenln had deleriiiined lo iir- .|iiir ' YeKliivii for their re«pi ' cli e ■ o ereiKii . S I ' V - I  ( N S I ' ( 1 I) In 1( I(HIS 1.1 ' MI.IN, •42 l!li MIWl K l(l ' , DAMI) MIHSK . •■12 Itasi ' d .III u play by OSCAK I ' KKl.MI TTKIt. ' 12 nir.M ' l. ' .l l,y: KOHKHT .SCIIWAinZ. 10 ( asi ill order of appraraiii;.!: 0 l)l(ll ' l ()KK_._1 fluricc W iihlgclcntler, ' X DKK I ' Kl IIHKK Meyer Ihller, ' W ' M:V. _. Gabriel Srhnnlrld, ' U KING GEORGE Ining Jarel, ' M V. V. . l.WIEBKAI.N . I ' hihi, llnroiiliz. • 2 SIM IN __ Elvin Knsoliky. ' U I.MKKII in.lN rZMKOKK Morris Epstein, ' 2 l!l SM N an.l 1I ISIERS Sliail.iwy in.ivcmenis on a durkcncil stage. Then liiilils up. lo llie tune of •• rli IJii l.iebrr Aiiguslirn: . On stage are Oer Fuehrer and Von DriiiiiiiilT. German spy extraordinary. By wime strange quirk of fate. Von Dripin.ilf has a de- cidedly non-Aryan, hn.iked nns. ' . .Noisily, willi mililary precision, ih. ' y click llieir liccis lugctlier, present the proper saluale and cry: — Fuehrer and lUn Dripinoff: Hcil! Fuehrer: The Faterland sends you .m dangerous mission. We must free all (r.Tinans. In .New York, we have a place called Yeshiva Cojlepc. Our agenls report that we have ten Germans iherel We must give them aulnniimy! t ' e must make Yeshiva join the Reich. Il is your duly to go lo Yeshiva. to creat. ' unr. ' st. spread propaganda, disorganize their government, make a revolution, learn their hahils but — only by listening. Don ' t l.l them tip y.iu off! on Drip: Bui mein Fuehrer. I am unlearned. They are all sludenls. Fuehrer: Do not fear. I have arrang.-d to make you a senior. I ' on Drip: That is good. I am hirtunate to speak perfect English. Fuehrer: (Interrupting in a sage! Got in Him- niel! Xo! You must speak with an accent or flse you will get no stipends. Something else: hen you arrive there, you must acquire three habits which will assure your success. Niiral er one — you must have chutzpah. That is invalii- ahle for good marks. Number two — yon must learn to T. L. That vou will learn quickly. They have very good leachers. Number three — ■ ' ou must be a bottler. That means hard work doing nothing, thereby making people believe you are doing everylhinc. i on Drip: Yes. but suppose they have a Class Nile? I can ' t act ! Fuehrer: Don ' t worry! No senior can. Tliey win the prizes an vay. But ask no more questions. gent T. L. Leave at once for Yeshiva Col- lege. When you are there report regularly to our chief. Fuehrer and Drip: Heil! BLACKOUT Eishly-lhree Scene Tmo T.I llic siraiiis of G-il ! avc llie King. liglils g.i up mi Buikingliam Palace. .Viid lo, there fits our king, eriiwii tuttering on his wiry hair, amus- ing himself by feebly eroeheling . . . drop one, purl two ... a page enters, turns to the audieiie.-. and announces in a cockney accent — Page: His grace. Sir Hevel Lamebrain K.C.I ' , (pause 1 Knight Commander of llie Piivy council. ... Lamebrain enters, or rather, bounces in. He wears a derby and sports an umbrella. His garb includes a wing collar, and pants which choke his ankles. . pronounced mascara moustache and a homebrewed English accent seem to mark our Lamebrain as a cross between Groucho iMarx and E. E. Clive. King: (Dropping his crocheting), . h. thank heaven you ve come. I have most unfortunate news. (Pause, then, almost crying, he sobs I Lamebrain, the foreign oflice sends word that Germany is contemplating taking over Yeshiva College in the United States. Lamebrain: Really! So what? I don ' t see how we are concerned. King: You don ' t see!? Why, Dies has just de- clared the Revolutionary War un-American. It is only a question of days until my dear colonies join the Empire once again. You see, my dear Sir Brainless. . . . Lamebrain: er . . . Lamebrain, your Highness. King: yes. Lamebrain. Well, serve your king and tell me how lo prevent Adolph ' s annexa- tion of Yeshiva College. Lamebrain: (CackljngI A very trifling matter, very trifling. I have just the policy. King: What policy is that? Lamebrain: A policy of appeasement! King: By Jove! Could you do it. Hevel? Lamebrain: Indeed it will sir! I have just the idea. We ' ll ofl ' er Hitler Rabbi Wise ' s Seminary. King: But (hesitantly) do you think it will work? Lamebrain: Like a charm. It always does. King: (Struts to stage front, twirls his umbrella, and sings — to the tune of Queen ' s Navy K I must call my ministers of state. This idea I must announce before its too late. (Sud- denly a chorus of six ministers pop up seem- ingly from nowhere, but really from behind the broad backs of the chairs lining the rear of the K ings table). Ministers: (Singing) we are the ministers of state — quick tell us before its too late. Lamebrain: His majesty is unaccustomed to public speaking, and for this simple reason, though this be treason, I ' ll do his public speaking. Ministers: He ' ll do his public squeaking, oh. reeking — HeTl do his public speaking. Lamebrain: I am more qualified than a T-man or a G-man. For my teacher is none other than the Demon. s a Minister of State. I am most prolific. In ilefining all the issues I am most specific. My sudden rise to the heights of glory — If you listen close — will prove a good story. I was born in Russia and to niv good hick. At the age of three I went to Bialystok. I studied the Talmud bit by bit And now I am the advisor of this half-wit. Ministers: He studied the Talmud bit by bit And now he ' s the advisor of this half-wit. Lamebrain: When merely ten. I passed with hells. I was so smart, that I was sent to Telz. I knew too much and soon was bored. .So for a rest I went to old Oxford. This rest proved lo be such a cure. That now he ' s advisor to this British boor. Ministers: This rest proved to be such a cure. That now I ' m advisor to this British boor. Liinnbrain: 1 was accurate and studied with care. My English speech was perfect donn derr . My professors told me 1 was crazy as a bat, Aiid advised me to become a diplomat. To be crazy is a wondeful thing nd now I ' m chief advisor to this so-called king. Ministers: To be crazy is such a wonderfu thing That now he ' s advisor to this so-called king. Lamebrain: And now I ' m off on this dangerous mission. I take your leave with the king ' s permission So now I ' m off to get my umbrella. To save Yeshiva from that awful fella. Ministers: So now he ' s off to get his umbrella to save Yeshiva from that awful fella. BLACKOUT Scene Three Dimly, then rising to an awful crescendo, come the plaintive chords of Volga Boatmen as the lights go up on a Russian sanctum sanctorum, decorated with sickles, hammers, caviar, and two unidentified men who stand close together against the back wall, oblivious to the proceedings. They never laugh. (Maybe this is because (hey have been to all the rehearsals). Stalin is discovered engaged in a little Kazatzka, humming to himself the while. Enter the secret agent, surprising Stalin with his foot way in the air. .Affecting a supreme nonchalance, Stalin glances at his foot with an I-was-going-lo-have-it-cut- off — anyway look and sits down at the desk. Both Russians are dressed in regulation Russian-Red pajama tops, pullover woolen hats, and pants tucked into socks. A Russian accent, heavy like vodka with lox, pervades the entire scene. Stalin: Who are you? Spy: I am secret agent Latkeh Blintznikoff ' . (Shyly) Call me Franch Fried for short. You have just re-called me from the fr-ont for special intalligence service. Stalin: Ah, tell me. What are our chances in the war? Latkeh: Excellent! Excellent! Yesterday we purged six of our generals! There are only eighteen more left to eliminate, and then, the Soviet Union will triumph. Slalin: (.lubilantly) Do you mean it? Latkeh: Yes, the finish is coming! Stalin: i n a scared yell) The Finnish?! I He dives under the desk. Then, shamefacedly, he crawls out again). Oh, you mean the finish! One moment please. (He takes out a revolver, and, taking careful aim, shoots at the two men standing against the wall. They drop slightly. Latkeh: Well, what ' s my new assignment? Stalin : You are going to leave the Soviet. Latkeh: (Gleefully) Hooray! Stalin: You are going to America. Latkeh : Hooray ! Stalin: You are going to attend Yeshiva College. Latkeh: (dejectedly) o-o-oh! Slalin: Well, if you won ' t want to go, I can send Zirovitch. Latkeh: f almost crying) He has been eliminated! Slalin : Then I can send Popinsky. Latkeh: (tearfully) Eliminated. Stalin : Then Mendelsky. Latkeh: (bawling) Eliminated. Stalin: Bukarinsky . . . Oh, I know. He has been eliminated. Ah! That reminds me. (Takes his gun out and shoots at the two men again. They droop lower). Well, it seems as if you ' re the one left. You ' ll have to go. The name, like everything communistic is in ihe public domain). Eiphly-four I.iilliflr. Well, like (limiradc (jinfuciuH Buy: II wliii in iiol eliiiiiriiilril, iiiiihI )( ■ W  ' I .!.. at VcHliivar Sliitin: r haver a Inl in niinrncin willi Vr,liiv.! ' I ' licir livi ' year |ilaii didii ' l work cilliii. UlMi: Hill wlial -I I (l..y Sifilui: Y(pii iiiii ' il liiiil oiii ilic folNjwinp; lliiiiu ' OIli:, llow 1(1 licllrcl mil -|py HyHlcili; Iwn. lint tlicv niaiiani ' I li.i ' ' lln.r |m-.i|i|i- In onr mhmi ami aliMvr all. iIim ' c. Iin In ni.ikr |ila. ' . ' In lliiNHian irfimccs. hilhflr. As panlH uf man  liii li say: I ' ni c.d. liiuiis olT til liniiKMliati ' ly I (runs nlfl. tStalin [iiills I I wo ini ' ii fall III.ACKOIIT. ini|iii li ( jinir ml sIh snsprn.liMs ruiix liuck Cuiifuciiin. Music: On llir llciKl.ls nf N. ' w York ' s Man. I . I.i({lil P on Von l)ri|iinolV roaiiinf; a loillriin board in llic back. Knicr l.aniclirain. Lami ' hnitir. I his is a fine school. I  o IniiMiii;;- hcrc. Itiil Ihal ' s mulling. One fellow told in.- ihcy have live liraiiches on IHIst .Slreel. fine place! Knuland needs ill The pivciii nienl lias one more while paper left and we don ' l know wlial to do wiili il. Vi ' ' ll make llii place democralic. .So inaiiv Kahhis and all .lowish! What a system! ( l.aniehrain and Von DripiimlT liirn aroninl at the same time, see each other and einlnace uihlh.l Ldnirliniin: on DripinolT! Inn Drip: l.aniehrain! Tell me, wlial are mmi doiiiH here? Liifiifhraln : I ' m a sp . I on Drip: Thai ' s a coincidence. .So am 1! Win. I haven ' t seen you since we were cellmates with Blintznikoff at Leavenworth! Horsi Vessel! 1 wonder what became of him. I From the rear of the auditorium, enters l,.ilkeh, carrying a small satchel. He marches down the aisle, raptly gazing at his new sur- roundings, singing loudly — Ah-Ah Yuch- Nyem. Lamebrain and Voi DripinolT see him, yell madly, grab him on stage and all endirace passionately. Lamebrain Ion Drip: IJlintznikoff ! What are you doing here ' : Latkch: (blandly I I ' m a spy. Lamebrain on Drip: You too? Latkfh: What do you mean, you too? Von Drip: We are also spies! Lamebrain: Wait a minute. I have an idea! Since we are all spies, let ' s work togelher and well have Yesbiva in our hands in no lime. Latkch: As Comrade Confucius say: It ' s nuisi be a union, ] on Drip: Boy are we wonderful spies, AH: ( singing r You can plainly see. Three super-spies are we: Our motto is: take what you can A photograph or a plan, ( Individually 1 I ' m Lamebrain I ' m Von Dripinoff . nd — I — am — Prince — Blintznikoff, Dripinoff: I ' m a full-blooded Aryan I ' m Nazidom ' s most perfect man. As tall as Goebbels; as manly as Herman As blond as Hitler, I ' m the ideal German. I ' m Yon Dripinoff. Blinlznikoff: We were invaded by the Finns. Now we ' re taking it on our chins. Our blitzkrieg was an also-ran So now it looks like a five-year plan. I ' m Prince Blintznikoff. If e never jound oat who ihey were either. I.amrhraiir. I biriirvr in iIip u|i|H-  ' -ini-nl plan I iippeme wliiTevnr I can. piece of Ibi-, a piecr of thai piece of iinyibinK yiu ' vp k I- I ' m l, iiiieliruin. Ill: Now you huvn our pcfligrcc Three «llper- pie« are we. Our liunil i ipiiek, our mind in kircn, W. ' ll make lledy l.iiMarf our o.l|r((i. |ur.-(i. Iniliviiluiilly: I ' m I.amebruin I ' m Von Diipiiioir nd I ' m Prince Itlinlznikoff. Dripiniiff: We ' ll  lorl ut once on our rampaiitri of aliota|ie. I it -e by tbr liullrlin Ixianl ihjl lliey are (loinK to liavc u Cla«« N ' il - here tonight. The firnl ihinit on our M:hr iule mu«l be to wreck it! I.amrlirain: Ye« lei ii adjourn I liavr a conference and decide on way« and mran« of ilesiroying lbi ClaKc Nile, lllinlznikoff: This cla«« iiruufilr will lie  lranKl -d tonite: for lonighl, llie ghoi.1 tif l,rnin ride. again! Hiup! .Stallion! Away! (logelher lliey jump oflf taitel l lliiH point the Macter of Oremoniei. came uiii and gave us Cla)i« Nile. The firxl clax per- formance was announced and prcw-nled. A I lie seconil cla-s .how was being introduced . . . I Suddenly the back doors of the audilorium are Hung open and down the aisb-o inarch our ihn-e spies. To sabotage the -bow ihey carry ' arresting signs and ad lib to their hearts ' conlenl, L pon completing their lour of the ai«les ihey b ' ave liappiK. SIGNS: KOK llHII ' INOFK Do Nat-zi To Heil Y.C, with Class Nile Cla«« Nile FOR BLINTZNIKOFF Revolutionize .After Class Yesliiva College Nile Come the Revulsion FOR LAMEBRAIN Cla.is Nile Unfair to ihe . ' udience Faugh on Class Night Second class show goes on. Third class show is allowed to expire. .As the iM.C. is introducing the fourth class, the aisles are again filled by the spies, with more diversion for the audience. Class Nite doesn ' t stand a chance, Blintz: (carrying a tray high and dislribuling his wares I Gel your borsht here! Get it while it ' s hot! Borshi, cartuffel, lalkes. blinlzes. all you can eat for a rubel! (eld Dripinojj: Wienershnitzel, sauerkraut, beer undl pretzels! Ersatz, of course! (etc. i Lamebrain: Special booklets revealing the private uncensored lives of the cabinet I You will be especially interested in the little story on page 6. Gel em before the bobbies gel ine! ( etc. I (Striving masterfully, the fourth class puis on its show. Then, as the judges are pondering, the M, C, gets on stage, and the three spies are observed on stage left arguing with each other. ' Spies: You tell bim! No, you tell him. etc. (They all watch the M. C„ who reciprocates with amazement. Finally, the two taller spies pick up Dripinoff. carry bim by his elbows, kicking, to the M. C. and deposit him there. ' Dripinoff: i Shyly, scraping his foot ' . Y ' ou know. we think we like Class Nile ... in fact. you know , , . we sort of like Yeshiva . . . in fact , , , you know . . , we ' d like to participate in your Class Nite. you think it ' s possible? Eighty-fire (The M. C. expresses great happiness ai llii and teaches them the song l Need ini I Know . The entire cast fills on stage and sing the song for the finale: 1 NEKl) vol: 1 KNOW I Tune: Oy Sliloimelle) 1 need you I know very hadly I can ' t say tlie same for you So please lets not wait any longer. And let ' s become two birds who coo. Let ' s set the date Vi f can ' t be lale In liiiildin!; our lillle nest. Under the moon We two can spoon While finding our place to rest. Following on the heels of Spyloons , and to a Yeshiva now attuned lo higher forms of an. came The Wolves , turning a squalling infant of a Dramatic Society into a lusty mature, thespian, henceforth the owner of a dignified title — The Yeshiva College Players. . . . But now it was Fall again, and Winter, and the Lamport Auditorium was dark and its stage dusty. Only subdued voices were hearfl in the halls, for the institution was mourning the loss of its revered leader. Dr. Revel, of sainted memory. It was not until late Spring that once again rays of laughter began to shine at Yeshiva. and with them came the hustle and bustle of I)reparalions for a new Varsity Show and Class Nile. Some bravely ventured; Why not an All-Varsity Show? But the time was not ripe, and the procedure of the year before was again followed. Of course, we could afford to be more pretentious now. We had a curtain. This time the date was set for April 27, 1941, and, in a dense smoke-filled atmosphere, after reams of paper had been used, and discarded, and after thousands of extraneous jokes had been batted about like so many foul balls, the theme chosen was a ty-pieal burlesque. What would happen if three caricatures of Yeshiva men were to enlist most unwittingly in the Army? Wreck-Ruits was to tell the answer. WRECK-RUITS 19 4 1 by MORRIS EPSTEIN, ' 42 ABRAHVM K RP. ' 42 HEXRV M VRCOLIS. ' 42 DAVID MIRSKY, ' 42 Directed by: DAVID MIRSKY, ' 42 Assisted bv: ELVIX KOSOFSKY, ' 41 MORRIS EPSTEIN, ' 42 Cast in order of appearance: SERGEANT Meyer Heller. ' 41 SOLDIER Gabnei Schonfeld, ' 41 HEATHCLIFF 1 orrfs Epstein, ' 42 SLABODK ' David Mirskv, ' 42 POICY Samuel Jaffe, ' 4.3 ATTEND VNT Jerome Robbins, ' 43 DOCTOR Murray Shaer, ' 44 QUEER No. 1 Irwin Melchik, ' 44 OUEER No 2 Sidney Reiss, ' 42 COKEY Philip Horowitz, ' 42 As the liou-i- liiihts go out. the audience hears a medley of army bugle calls and the curtains part to show a room with sparse furnishings. We know where we are because a sign hanging on the wall signifies in the best Shakespearian style that this is an Army Recruiting Office . At a desk, center stage, sits a huge individual, l)ulging out of his uniform in several places. Even did we not see his stripes, we would recognize him by his voice and his brusque manner, as that great American stereotype, the Army Sergeant. He has completed persuading a noni-nlity I for purposes of identification we call him l lo join the armed forces. Snrge: I to . t You sign right here (. signs) You understand that you are signing up of your own free will. Now, just step next door and take your medical exam; for as long as you are with us, you will be supplied with food, a place lo sleep, and your stuff to wear . . . Oh. yes, you will be paid S21 a day. ,Y: Wow! Sarge: Yeah. Once a month. (X shoots off stage. From stage right three heads pop out. When we shall have an oppor- tunity lo examine the rest of their corporeal beings, we shall see three motley characters indeed. Heathcliff is a tall, stocky, nervous individual, with flying hair and a wild look in his eyes. He has a bad ' w ' for ' 1 ' and ' r ' substitution. Percy is somewhat slighter, pro- gnathous person with a decided dead end - ish speech. And pathetic Slobodka; poor in- nocent Slobodka with the long coal and the derby which covers his ears. But, lo gel back, three heads have popped out). Heath: Victuals! Poicy: Clodes! Slab: Monye? (They enter completely, exposing themselves to the brand of laughter accorded the monkeys in a Lew Lehr short). Heath : Hearken to my words, fellows. This is the opportunity we have been seeking. Having been informed by Mr. Hotlick, executive director of the Yeshiva College Dormitory, hereinafter referred to as the parly of the first part, that it is impossible, improbable, and highly dubilable for us. hereinafter known as the party of the second part, to procure viz. to wit lodgings and stipends due to the unprognosticaled invasion from ihe hinter- land, we have cast about for a reasonable facsimile of the same. Slab: Haaaa? Poicy: Da goon says dat we can ' t hustle a dorm in Yeshiva, so we been poundin ' da pavements soichin ' for one. Ya get it? Slab : Yep. Heath: If my auditory receptacles do nol de- ceive me, the gentleman on the right offers us, the party of the second part, what the party of the first part refused us. Slab: Yeh. Haah? Poicy: He means dat de boid behind de desk hands out flops, chow, and glad-rags fer nuttin ' . Ya get it? Slab: Yep. Heath: I should therefore suggest, my confreres, that we hie ourselves over to yon gent and afiix our signatures on the perforated line. Slob: Yep. Haaaa? Poicy: He means . . . Slab: Precisely, jawohl, dats she. (All three slide over to desk) Poicy: (to the .Sergeant) Look, pal, we boid what ya said, and your proposition sounds in da groove. Where do we put our John Han- cocks? Sarge: Of course, you ' re doing this of your own free will? Slob: Yep. Sarge: You ' re serious? Slob: No. I ' m Jewish. (expecting our intelligent audience not to laugh at this one. an ad lib was written in. For the record, here it is: after audience Eighty-six (IdCHii ' l liiiixli, .S ' (: My lilllr i ' iii] iii iIiimikIu llml ii|i .pi]| nf liJH i.wii licMil. I ' ll liiivi- In net him M new lii-iid Kiriiniinw , Kiil lln- iMiili.iicr roaml, llir (luprh, unci llu- r, mi,.I | m|.. (rll (111! as II pancHki ' . ) SiirKc: WIuii ' m your iianif ' . ' Ilmllr. I am cnriinMinly (lr i(;riHlr ' (l ll lli.- ;i|.| ll.i lion llcallx ' lifr II. li. ' alliriilf. S„rif -: Wlial ' s lln- 11 In, y llvalli: llcalliclill. Saritf. li ' xaH|)i;nih-ili IIc-.iiIn lill ' lleatli: Ycb!_ My |mr.-nls l.nkr.l i,M;,i:in,iii.m ! Sarge: WliurH your iiaiiii ' : ' Percy; Me liundli ' i . . . Sarge: I .suid wlial ' H yinii- niiriii ' f ' I ' ercy: Me la i . . . Sarge: Handle ' : ' Tuu ' W I ' ' I ! il -I ' M ' on you when yiiu wen- Ihiio ' : ' I ' eny: Oh! A slrail-jai-kn ! Ilralh: I palii-nlly 1 lie de iirs In In- a(c|iiainli-d wilh llw lillr hv which von air (■.iiooi..,ih alindr,! lo. I ' rrry. ■ ' vm wIkiI I inro hdiiiiii him. I. nionirkr, ' . l ' ,.i,N XriiMcl ' m (.iii ' hoiM V.-, . S„m,-. Um n.om nano-y .S7o .: ■| ' Ih-n ,all mv .S|ol,o,ika .Sam llah-vi. I ' m your laruLsman. I comi ' Irom Ireland loo. Sarge: I face lighls up I Ah hcf oriah ! A mhi of old Krin! Ami wluil pari id lirland .lo yon come from ' : ' Slob: Coney Ireland. Sarge: (subsiding, gives each of ilie irio a jirinled form) sign on ihe dolle l line. I Hoys sign. .Sloi) signs ihree great X ' s in full view of ihe audience. Heallicliff. walcli- inp him curiously, says:( Henlh: . nd pray what are the three X ' s for. ' 1 thought these were but two words in your name. Slob: Yeah, lapologelicalK i Bnl I wanled lo break into society, so 1 got a middle initial. Percy: O.K. where do we park the carcass ' : ' Sarge: Waddya mean, where do we park the carcass ' ? Who do you think you ' re talking lo ' ? I ' ll have ou know niv name is Sergeant GLITZpalrick the 3id. Percy: 1 don ' t care if its .Inly ihe fth. Sarge: O.K. wise guy. What ' s your name again ' . ' Percy: I lold you — Poicy Ahlington Gingsberg Esq. Sarge: Say sir when you address me. Percy: O.K. Sir Poicy Ahlington Ginsberg Esq. Slob: (pointing to Sarge I Looka him! He talks like a registrar already! Heath : Begging your pardon my good fellow. but to what may we attribute this unmannerly outburst ? Sarge: Listen, yon lugs. You ' re in the Vrmy now. see ' ? Each: (individually one after the otherl In the army. All 3: In the army ' ? iSlabodka starts creeping awayl. Sarge: Hey. Where do yon think you ' re going? Slab: Moshugah bin ich? M ' kon du gehargot verin ! Sarge: Come back here! The doctor in ihe next room will give you your medical exam. Slab: Look. He ' s particular yet. Sarge: Army regulation No. 1: You will rise at the bugle call at 6 o ' clock. All 3 toge ther: You mean we got lo go to the Minyan? SONG: Chorus: For 10 long years we ' ve gone lo school. and we never went to the minyan. We ' d rather be dead than gel out of bed. that our frank opinions! I All Three: Of ull the lurk You I ' lin i-vrr wrc The tnii|ilii ' «l break llefall •!• Il.lee. II . , : We liud u room At old V. C. Wk neKleclvil the .Miiiyiin .So they iirKlectdl wp. Ml h,i,y: We eu ' -t llliollt For a iili ' llluli ' A joint to replaci- The ohi ill ' .lilnle l Sl„h: l la-l we ihouuhl We ha.l found the place liul in t -arl we got kick In the faie. V 11 Thtre: In-lead of a Hop i l inMead of iliow ere told you ' re in The army now. VI ilnllh: Hut we ' re not licked We ' ll gel our reprieve W e ' ve got an ace lliilrlen in our .sleeve. II Thn-r: Just lend an ear This is our |)lan We ' ll try t.i flunk The medical exam. I go olT: Slid) Slavs behind i vm .S  ;: It won ' t be lough To flunk, you see eve had experience At old . C. IX I Heath and Percv come back on stage) ( Three: .S{) here we go ith heads jield high And we ' ll be free In the near bve and bve. All off. CLiRTAlN. Scene II In the army medical office. Props include a scale, an eye chart, anatomy charts, etc. Allendani is sitting, filling in records. Percy is finished with his form blank and is silling waiting for the doctor. Healhclifl is finishing SInbodka waits. A ' lendant: O.K. bud, sit down and wail for the doctor. ' hath: .As you desire my good fellow-. t ' tendant: By llie way. did you obey all rules in school. Heath: Yes. Attendant: Drink? Heath : No. Attendant: Gamble ' ? Heath: No. Attendant: Go out wilh women? Heath: No. Attendant: Nfonolonous, wasn ' t it! Shades of ,1. Colonna! Attendant: Next. iSlabodka steps up I Attfn: Name? Slab: Slabodka Sam. Eight ■ ■-seren Atttn: Born: ' Slab: Yes. Allen: Mollicr ' s name? Slab: Hah? Atten: I said mother ? name! Slab: Hah? Atten: What is your mother ' s name? Slab: Plizz, 1 can ' t understand. You ' re splkking vit an accent. Atten: Listen, hast du gelial a mama? Slab: Ncin. Atten: Aber yeider hat a maninia. Die must haben galial a mama. Slab: -Nein. Die mama hat micli gehat. (. ttendant goes out I ( Enter doctor, looking at his paper, blows smoke on pitch pipe. I Doctor: (Loud yell i HEATHCLIFF! (quietly embarrassed I er — Heatbcliff, get undressed. ( Heatbcliff stands up and starts peeling off loads of clothes I. Percy: (Runs over to the doctorl Doc, I joined the army. Dey tell me 1 have to take a medical exam. 1 don ' t need no medical e.xani. I just wanna go out dere and fight. Doctor: But you must lake an exam. Percy: (excitedlyl I ' m in poifect shape. Just pass me and let me go out. 1 wanna fight in de trenches. Doctor: O.K. You ' re in perfect condition. You ' ve passed. Percy: ( unconiprchendingly I But Doc, don ' t you think I ' m a little crazy? Doctor: Well, you are a little thin. Percy: Yeah. I ' m trying to build myself up. -My doctor put me on a soup diet. He told me to eat three plates a day. Doctor: Is that so? Three plates a day? Well then you must be fit. ( Doctor slap s him across the stomach, break- ing his daily three plates which then fall out on the floor. Enter X. now wearing a bridle with blinders. He holds a broom and starts sweeping the plates off stage.) Doctor: Hey, what ' s the idea of that bridle? X: Well if I ' m going to work like a horse. I might as well look like one! I Percy begins to dress. Doctor turns to Heatb- cliff who is undressing I. Doctor: I To Heatbcliff) Are you ready? Heath: Just one moment, sir. (keeps un- dressing I . Doctor: (To Slabodkal All right. Y ' ou get ready. (Slabodka takes off his coat, under it, he is wearing nothing but a dickey). Slab: Doe, I ' m a sick man. If I ' m not telling the truth may my right arm become paralyzed. ( Arm becomes paralyzed ) . Doctor: Stop kidding around. Slab: But I ' m really sick. Doc. Really I am really. (Goes into a frothing fit). Queer No. 1 — Enters running in. Queer No. 1: Are you the Doc here? Doctor: Yeah. Queer jVo. 1: Are you the superior officer here? Doctor: Yeah. Queer No. 1: Will you tell those guys to stop calling me? They ' re driving me crazy. Every- where I go they keep hounding me. Please tell them to stop. I can ' t stand it. I tell you I ' ll go crazy. I ' m here. I ' m here, I tell ya. Doctor: Say, who are you? Queer No. 1: Philip Morris (tears off). (Doctor goes over to Slabodka and gives him the once over). Doctor: O. K., Sam, you ' ve passed. Slab: Oi vay! (goes over to a side). Doctor: You ' re next, Heatbcliff. (Takes his pulseK Hey. Your pulse stopped. (Heatbcliff shakes his arm). Well. I ' ll test your Hand of Heatbcliff iimble- Oiictiir: (Listening again). O. K. Heath ; Doctor. 1 must confess that the ozone is unsalubrious to my well-being. My left clavicle has been reverberating against my intercostal peristalsis with a proluberation of coagulation of the connective tissues. Slab: What ' s the matter. You ' re not feeling well? Doctor: Ah. I see, I see. reflexes. (Clips him on elbow, slaps him. He clips other way. Hand hits back. Looking diabolical, he clips him and ducks. Heatbcliff kicks him. He gets up). Doctor: The first time you bit me. O. K. The second time you hit me. O. K. But the third time you hit me (starts crying) you hoit me! Y ' ou fellows wail here I ' ll be right back. (exit.) At this point, a creature with a white face, who looks like he died three years ago slouches in to the music of the death march.) Percy: Hey bud, the cemetery ' s two blocks down. Slob: Hey, is he part of our show? Percy: No. We only use live people. Queer No. 2: I In a voice that makes us feel that we are on the receiving end of a direct wire from the grave.) Is this the doctor ' s office? Slob, Percy and Heath: The Doctor! (They go into a football huddle. After a decent pause, and to a musical fanfare, Percy and Slob rise and shout.) Percy. Heath: Pre-senting — Dr. — Heath — cliff! (Heatbcliff whirls about, having donned col- ored glasses and a beard of the type invariably present in Serutan ads.) Heath: (In a professional tone) Ab, yes, my goood fellow; and what is your name? Queer No. 2: (In a very low whisper) Hun Jummble. Heath: What that? Queer No. 2: (Same) Hummble-Jummble. Heath: Please! Let the people in the last row hear you. Speak out loud! Queer No. 2: (Yells in a tremendous voice) Harvey Wilson! (He thereupon collapses in the arms of Slob and Percy). Heath: Ah! With a voice like that you should be able to sing. Can you? Queer No. 2: Yeah. Heath: Will you sing for us (Queer No. 2 nods acquiescence). What would you like to sing? Queer No. 2: (In a monotone) a song dedicated to my mother. Heath: And what is its name? Queer No. 2: ( In a monotone) Mother, all your life you worked for me, now. you can go out and work for yourself. Heath: All right, sing it. (Queer No. 2 starts slobbing something in a weak monotone. .Slobodka puts on a mask and looks Queer No. 2 in the face. Queer No. 2 merely looks back at audience and continues singing . Slob repeats his little act, and again bis victim is unaffected. Finally giving up. Slob throws his mask away and looks at Queer No. 2. With an expression that says stronger men have sustained less . Queer No. 2 screams and collapses.) Heath: How old are you, my boy? Queer No. 2: Twenty-one. Heath: You must be ambitious. What do you wish to become? Queer No. 2 : Thirty-six. Heath: And, pray, what are you doing here? Queer No. 2: I have to take the medical exam. Heath: Ah yes. (Claps hands) Attendants! (To Percy and Slob.) Prepare the patient! ( Heath walks off to stage R. and washes hands to elbow.) Heath: .Anasthelic! Eighty-eight SIdl, ,111,1 l;i, 1 : III ' - |..ili.Ml I- ini.U! (Ilriilh ;i|,|ii.,.mIi.- ..m.I li.Hkiiin al ninlir„,r. TAI ' S (.)ii Ti i,. 2 Willi .1 -l.ll ..| -- II ' (Sldli anil l ' ci ii|i|il II li.wicK -Im.i- m yiircr Nil. 2 IMW. Il ' (iiiiH-. Ili-iilh: Irislin-ini ' iilM! I ' lTiy: lii-Ktiii iniiil ! Sloh: lii-sliniiinii ! (As llrulli (■all till III.- Inllnuiiii; in-li iimhnI-. mil ' im-iiilicr nf llii- liin |iirk- ii{i llir- In., I lalliMl li.r. II. ' pafM ' it t.i lii- .■..Mi|i,iiii..ii. wh.i ill liii ' ii iiasHi ' s il I.I ili ' atli. ' lill. Il.alli rlilV, in liini. lhni v il awii .i llaillr. Si-alp. ' l! SrisMir-! (;iaiii|is! (Jair .r! Auaki ' llii- jialii ' iil! lO •!■ N.i, 2 i- (i. ' iilK auak. ' I li a il..nl .III llu ' li. ' a.l.l lliiith: Niiw, in j:ii.i.l Irllnw. wi ' liall -. ' .■ Ii.. liiiii; y.iu ran li.ild yiiur lirralii. (Tlic nia.l iriii cnnvcrci- in u cirnt-r an. I (;.i iiilii .■.inviilsiiins iivur siinie jnkc lliat lli. ar. ' Ii ' llini; ra. ' li i.tlier. Mranwliil. ' (Jn. ' .-r . ... 2. Ii.il.ilnt; his liri-ulli all thi ' tiin. ' . tinalh waves liis lianils Irani i.all . ami .•.illapst ' s. i All Threu: Tli, ' palirnl! Heath: Lay him iI.umi .ni lliil lalile, boys! (DocUir ri ' -cnliTs. anil Links al llir |ir.istral.- (ine. 1 Ihiclor: What ' s thiiiy llvalli: Thai ' s cr that ' s a Sphinx! Doctor: Why. what d.i ynu mean? Ilidlli: I said that ' s a Sphinx. Il onnies all the wav fr.ini ancient K;;vpl. Vi h . llial ' s li.eii a Sphinx f.ir .ncr 2000 ears. Doctor: iSmellin;; Qneer Nn. 2l That ' s lnnn . Il,;(tlr. What? Do,tor: Il slill il.i. ' s! QUICK (_:l 1!T IN SCENK III Music: We ' re in the army n. . Scene: In barracks rouin. which is outfitted in correct army style. Seargenl is standing, bawling out Heath- cliff and PoicY. Slobodka is conspicuous by his absence.) Sarge: And of all the soldiers in this man ' s army, you guys are the dumbest clucks its ever been my pleasure to meet. Poicy: . w. cut il out. ou re breakin ' my heart. Sarge. Sarge: Shut up! Three weeks you ' ve been at Fort Drip, and you haven ' t learned to do anything right yet. Heath: Il is not my inclination or proclivity in interrupt your meditalional cogitations, hiil 1 feel it incumbent upon myself. . . . Sarge: SHUT UP! I ' ve been standin ' enough guff from you guys. Now I can understand why you ' ve been turned over to me for special drill. So you think it ' s funny to put out your hand when you ' re told to make a right turn. ' Well, that ' s all over with now. My name is Seargent Glitzpatrick. gentlemen, and I m the roughest, toughest sonof-a-baboon in the regi- ment. 1 haven ' t got the time to leach little boys like you how to adjust your diapers. yTo Poicy : . nd you. Since when do you soak your bulbs in water when you ' re told to douse the lights? Uo Healh : And ou. you dim-witted. SvS word fiend, next lime you run up and shake hands with ihe general when you ' re told to present arms, you ' ll wind up in the guardhouse. And as for that dumb rookie. Slabodka. be thinks he ' s a reigning monarch, but he ' s only a little drip! You tell him for me when you see him thai he ' s due for twenty days of K. P. Mark my words. (Slabodka has come in at general , and hiiviiiK raiililil ihi- ((ial i(f llir ii|MTrh. h« hi-Kiin I.I lip ' liie oill wlirn llic .VurK ' -nl liurn| Ini.i him I. ■ l,ili: I lno(fen ivi ' ly I I ' liriliin iiic. ia llii llir la. ' k llcnii) pr i|irttni? Siiinr: Wlier.- llw li ' -.k liiivi- iil ln-en. yoil hall b.iki ' .l Iw. ' tp? If you kii.iH vthfH ' . uihmI fur you. y.iu ' ll hii ' l  iil wliul I Inlil iIipm- Kiiya here, unil iiiuke •lire ) iu r ' arrv iiil r.rdcr when y u (jrl ' em. ii l ix ' Xl lime, whrii y.iu re i.piikeii to liv a  upeiii.r ii(Ii( ' -r. •aliil ' -. I Slab xnluICK, unil Surije aiain|ii null. « : Suliilel .Sulule! Thari- all ymi l« in llii« army. IT iiiii«l bi- a iiniiiii. Tliein lii|i •tiiil«I Thc rid. ' ar.iiind in afler dinner car« V8! They have yachpll .I Why only ye.lerdiiy. the general eonii ' s over In me, lap me on llie Ill-ad and nays: Thai ' ihe kind of limlwr wi ' need! Heath: I ufiree iinmiliiEatiniily willi your M-nli- inenls. .Slabodka. Cnndilionn are beriiminfi un- b.aralile. Think of il ! One ran ' l even procure igg« for hr.akfasl with the yolk eoafsulaled t.i ih.- ri(. ' lii il.gree. Poicy: An.i the Imslesses. Are I hey ugly I They ' re like prof. ' s-iiinal blind-ilalei ' ! Slah: n.l the fn.i.l lli.y serve here. It ' s POISdN! nil -iich small porli.ms they (iive you! Poicy: Thi- ha- been going on for three week ' . Uis is lie . ' nil. If dal jeep of a seargi-nl link- I ' m gonna tak. ' any m.ire orders from him. hi ' ' s got anodder link c.imin ' In him. fi Heath: Fellow! Coopcralinn is ihe basis of ' ac- cess. If we have any inlenlion of lerminalinf this veritable liondag.-. we must connive a con- cnrii.in to foil and disperse our oppressor! . iThinks awhile I F.llows. there is but one solution. . . . Slab: Rewnll! i.liimii- on h.d i Rew.dl! fieee I Sarge enters and .Slobodka. caught in ihe act changes his line of approach wnlwing doors are the only solution lo our problems. With every Neslle ' s Chocoale bar you buy today, we arc giving away gratis, free for nolhin ' one deluxe revolving door . , . lin- nocentlyi maybe you are interested in buying a revolving door? Sarge: (With repressed angert So! Ynu guys don ' t like ihe way we ' re running things in this army! Starting a rev.dl are you! hy I could have you court-martialed for this. Slab: i ' ith aroused ire:i Never mind. Ll. Glitzpatrick. Court-marlial. shmourl-marlial — abee gezunl. Sarge: Why you little. . . .1 think I will have you eourt-marlialed and have you shot al day-break. ■Slab: 1 didn ' t did il. I didn ' t did il. Poicy: Now. look Sarge. Maybe we can get to- gedder on dis. Heath: Surely there is some ameliorative method lo avert this disaster. Sarge: 0. K. I ' ll give you guys a chance. The general staff is comin ' here next week and we gotta give them some entertainment. If you boys can dig up a show in lime. I ' ll let you go. The trio marches around in a circle mullering: What to do? Whal lo do? Suddenly from the wings a very strange character enters. Cokey seems to display all the symptoms of one who. for the past len years has been using opium, heroin, and mairhuana instead of food. Drooling from the mouth, hands and feel a-quiver. il appears that he has a solution lo the boys ' worries. ' Cokey: Do you ever wake up blue? Does the day settle on you like a great straw hat? Are you edgy and impatient ? Do you hate the voices Eighty-nine of children? Do you ever say: If the elevator doesn ' t come in two minutes, I ' ll kill myself Then what vou need is — Opium! Opium, spelled 0-P-l-U-M. Obtainable from any gray, shifty-eyed little man at your nearest corner — not too near the light. Opium corrects the body ' s natural habits, by turning the usual penzy of waking into the beautiful serenity of your favorite dream. It conquers scientifically that awful feeling that comes from too much normal living. Pipe smokers, here ' s new- fun for you! And for your cigarette smokers — try our new cigarettes — K. 0, cigarettes, the nicotine mickey finn! Pass ' em out among your friends and watch your friends pass out. Pick up a pack from your neighborhood dealer before the F.B.I, picks up your neighborhood dealer! And remember our motto — We ' ll see you inhale! ' (He offers samples of his product to the boys, and staggers off stage. I Slab: Oi, if I was only in de Yeshiva now. Poicy: Yeshiva. Dat ' s de ticket. Remember de class-niles we used to have at Yeshiva? Heath: The Class-Nites! Percy, you have hit on it. If we can contrive to present the Yeshiva College Class Nite at the camp, we ' ll be resuscitated. Poicy: Look Sarge. Down where we come from we put on a show every year. We can get de boys to put the same show on here. Sarge: How do 1 know it ' s good? Slab: Listen to him! How does he know it ' s good! Heath: Slabodka, kindly control your emotions. Sarge, what is today ' s date? Sarge: Let ' s see. Today ' s the 27th of April. Heath: Well, if my memory does not deceive me, the show is being produced at Yeshiva tonight. Shall we essay a journey and you can judge for yourself the quality of the presentations. Poicy: Waddya say, Sarge? Sarge: 0. K. I ' ll go down with you guys and give the acts the once over. But you. Slab, will have to stay here for sentry duty. (They leave. Slabodka stays behind). Slab: All mine life 1 said Class-nites were rotten. All mine life I fight against Class-nites. And today, mine life is depending on it. So Class- nite, wherever you are, be good to your old Alumnus, Slabodka, and don ' t let me down. CURTAIN (The class presentations go on. As the last one ends, we see a short curtain-lowerer, where- in the Sergeant returns with the boys, pro- nounces the Class Nite to have been marvelous and drags on the Master of Ceremonies, who anncjunces the judges decision, awarding the banner for the year to the Class of ' 42. Where- upon the entire cast descends into the orchestra and shoo ' s the entire audience out of the audi- torium. CURTAIN. Crude perhaps, but funny. Yet Wreck- Ruils deserves its niche not merel.v for titil- lating the risibilities of its audience, but chiefly for firmly establishing one principle aim and goal. IVext year, come rain or snow, a full length Varsity Show will be presented. So twelve months later, on March 29, 1942, while a blinding downpour outside was rapidly congealing into ice the snow and hail which had fallen all day Buck Fever was performed at the Lamport Theatre. Buck Fever was a success, and it was no miracle. Idea after idea, for revues, sketches, and comedies, were discarded, until the original goal began to grow dim. But finally a plot was chosen dealing with what we knew best, college students. Songs were arranged for, casting completed, and the handsome, professional set erected. Then came three weeks of gruelling rehearsal during which the east grew langorous and the jokes stale. But slowly the seemingly impossible grew and took form ; the cherished hope of pub- licity in all metropolitan papers became real- ity and when the curtains parted on the 29lh. showing a group of students living in a dormitory corridor at imaginary Heshiva I nivorsity. laughter began to float across the footlights, and suddenly all the toil put into the show by those associated with it, became meaningful. For victory was theirs. ' ' BUCK FEVER ' ' 19 4 2 by DAVID MIRSKY, ' 42 additional dialogue bv MORRIS EPSTEIN, ' 42 directed bv DAVID MIRSKV, 12 Set and Lighliiig by PHILIP HOROWITZ, 42 CAST (In order of appearance) SONGSTER Al Salkoivitz, ' 43 STUDENT Jacob Walker, ' 43 JEEP Herman Tanenbaum, ' 45 TELEPHONE MAN Sidney Reiss, ' 42 GABBY Howard Singer, ' 43 PETE - Allen Mandelbaum, ' 45 LITTLE ABRAHAM Harold Esterson, ' 42 SLOPPY Morris Epstein, ' 42 A. A Henry Margolis, ' 42 HARRY THE GROCER Morris Sukenik, ' 42 DORM SUPERVISOR Philip Horowitz, ' 42 FATHER Harold Miller, ' 45 original music by EMANUEL SEIDMAN, ' 45 additional Songs by Abe Karp, ' 42 Entire Production Supervised by MORRIS EPSTEIN, ' 42 SCENE: A corridor cut off by partitions in the dormitory at Yeshiva University. Here live the boys. TIME: Yesterday. Act I As the curtains open, we see two beds upstage, a table and chairs downstage, and a blackboard on the left wall. A bell is attached to the wall next to the blackboard. Under (he bell sits a student in a little, improvised desk-chair. He studies his books, unperturbed by the proceedings, throughout the play. At the table sit Jeep and the songster: Songster: (Has just finished humming a tune to himself. ) Say, that ' s a pretty good song you wrote there, Jeepl Jeep: Thanks. Well, if you want it, it ' s yours to use in your show. Songster: O. K. That ' s swell. But if you ' d take my advice you ' d enter it in the school song contest. Jeep: Oh. I don ' t think it ' s that good. But thanks for the advice. Songster: Well, so long Jeep. lE. il left I. A knock is heard on the door. Jeep: Come in. (Telephone man enters. He is not the common garden variety of telephone man, but rather looks like a Dali conception. His face is while, he wears earphones, a derby, and carries an umbrella, which, when he presently opens it, reads — don ' t write, telephone — . He has binoculars, with which he searches the room until he espies the tele- phone on the bureau. His voice has a low, monotonous, grating quality). Ninety Tid: So wlirri: '  yum lrlr|ilinii.- s wImm- ' ' ; ■ ;: WIiiU ' h il I vi ' TrI: I ' m ficiii iIh- IrLpliun.- r-.r v. I n, (m,,, llic. y.v K S.i whal do yon vv;ii.l ' ' ' .• : Sn I H l ail nldfj lo ll.kr nui lrlr|,li,,lli- away mi Hccdiiiil you cliiln ' l pay lIn- liill for two iiKiiilliH 111! uci-(iiiMl (if yiiii iliiln ' l. Jeep: liry. ymi ' ■ ' t ' I lli !- I ' m il ' I - Td: lliil I pilla lake il, I nulla. If I ilon ' i c oin,- liiick Willi 111.- IrlcplKiiir or llir iiionrv I ' ll lose my j.ili. I ' ll loir my. Jt ' i ' li: Hul I (liin ' l can; if yoiii- lo ' -i- yoiii joli. I (Idii ' i raiv. Ilry wlial is iIiIh. Cm ii oui will yiiii! Tel: I ' m wirry Imv- I imii ' i ImI|. m.ii I laii ' l. (.Siarls iMillin); il oiil ulim (..iMn cmIit-. liaviiiK iiiHl waslinl liiiiisril. Il;i. lour! in haixl.l Cdhhy. Wry whal (;ocs on li.-rr ' . ' W lial an- .m Irviii); III (III? Jivp- ll ' s a (iuv fioiii llic Irlriilmnr li in(; lo lake llic pliiinr lunk. .liiM Ii.t.iiis,- «,■ o o him a iiiiTc two moiilhs hack pay. Cabby: llcy ymi can ' l iln llial. Dn ymi nali .- whal you arc iloin V Do ymi know ulial llii Ich ' pliiiiic iin ' ans In us? Ilcri ' wc arc: wc can ' l even afford a dnrm room wc had In llirow ii|) ihis mess iif iiarliliims lielwecn ihc Iwii cnrridiirs. ' Pliis is iiiir liiiiiii ' . Nut a friend in ihc world. Nnlindy cares for ns. All wc have is ihis plione. ll ' s lici-ii niolhcr. fallicr, leaclicr lo ns. Dn you know whal is man ' s hesl friend ■■ ' The Icleplinnc. Whal is closer ihan your hrolher. lliaii your falhcr, ihan your sislcr. llian your molher . . . leep: Your underwear. Gabby: Sluil up. Don ' l you see. ya goiia leave llie phone here. It ' s our only conlacl wilh society. We couldn ' t live without il. You don ' l know whal it means to us, livinj; here eul off from the rest of the dormitory. iDurinj; this speech, the telephone man is so moved that his pants fall down, exposing bright red (laiinel underwear. He is oblivious to this and when he leaves he allows bis pants and bis derby to remain behind hini.l Td: (Weeping I Stop it boys. 1 gotta pair of kids home myself. I gotta. Gabby: Thai ' s the spirit. 1 knew you wouldn ' t let us down. Your name shall go down in history. You have saved our lives. You ' ve renewed our faith and confidence in mankind. (,leep has started drinking snda.l Jeep, put down that poison. (Jeep nearly chokes. I Allow mc lo shake the hand of the greatest humani- tarian that ever lived. Jeep, ihe door! And in parting let me say it was for people like you for whom the statement was made — There ' s one born every minute. (Exit Tel. man.) Jeep: Gabby, you get better every day. Y ' ou had ine crying for myself. Gabby: Thanks Jeep. But it would be funnier if it weren ' t all true. All kidding aside we gotta gel some dough. We can ' t live on air. Jeep: Well were doing a good job trying. Gabby: JMaybe we can talk Harry into sending up another basket of food. I Phones I Keep your fingers crossed. Hello Harry. This is Gabby. Wail, don ' t hang up. Look, could you send up something to eat? Makes no dilTer- cnce what it is. Of course. Vt bat kind of question is that. Sure. You can trust me. I know. 1 know. But ibat was last lime. Don ' t worry. We ' ll lake care of you. I bangs up i Imagine asking if he was goima get paid. a silly smirk. Jeep: Yeah, some guys never learn. Ob hello Pete. Enter PETE. He is followed by a little Lord FauMlleroy who wears short pants, garters, and I ' r,,-: H ' yii frilow.. ' , ,■: Don ' t look now bin lbrri- ' « M.ni -I. .ily irailiuK y ii. ' , •: I ' lurriinK oroiiridl Oli, lliBl ' n junl my coiiHin. lie blew in from ill ' - liomr town. Come licrr iiimI rnerl ibe l oy«. Thin i« J«( and lliHl ix (;aliliy. .Say brilo lo lln! nire m«n«, Ciiiisin: llellii lo llie nice rnani. I ' rir: I ' rrcocioud i«n ' l be? Anil imaKinr only HixlircM. CiiiiHii: Not nxoclly. I ' ll Iw nixlcrn nr l vn-rk. I ' rtr: Sec «murl a« a whip. t.iilihy: Soiiicoiie oiikIiI lo crack fiim. Wliaddyp liren doinit lately? I ' rif: Nolbiiiu iniicli. junl Iwcn KhowinK the kid urounil. lie want lo come lo Yr lii a next year. Ily the way ' bell rin(! .luilcnl at table Kcl u|i, Nlrelcbc , Koc over lo a ililTrr -nl table etc. I t: iiisin: Wbo '  he. whii-o-«-o? (,(ihby: Who him? He bml all hi money cominn to Hcluiol HO WC let him lay in ibr room. He drew up a regular pro(£rain for bimw H. got some Icxtbooki., (jivcit liiniM-lf leclurc . and carries on a if be really allendcd clause . (.iiiiain: Ob. is he your room male? Gabby: Room male? Kid. everybody you wr here is my room mate; in fad anybody you we in school is my room male. Cousin: You mean ibc whole school slccpn in the other bed? Jeep: Let me explain lo him. I ' m used lo il. He means this is ihe school hanf; oul. His official room mate is not here now. Cousin: Ob. Jeep: Just Ob? I ' ete: Ob let bim alone. Wlierc is Sloppy? Gabhy i He ' s out trying lo raise Mime cash. Gabby: 1 don ' t gel il. Jeep: Another one of Cabby ' s brilliant ideas. You know. Sloppy ' s is nobody ' s fool yet one word from you and be jumps right through the hoop, ' bat kinda hold do you have over the guy? Gabby: ll ' s thai certain something extra ihal fascinates him. Jecpii Nuts. What sort of goofy scheme you got him working on now? Gabby: Wliaddye mean crazy scheme? This is strictly legit. He ' s out selling pencils. fete: He ' s what? Gabby: He ' s selling pencils, (tapping heard from without.) Here he comes now. Sec for vourselves. I Sloppy conies in dressed like a blind man with glasses sign and cup. • Slop: H ' ya fellows. Pele: Selling pencils! Gabby: Got any dough? Slop: Yeali. I made . . . Cousin: Is this your room male? Slop: (Seeing cousin t Who picked up the stone and let you crawl oul? Jeep: He ' s Pete ' s kid cousin. Jusl crawled outta the corn. Slop: H ' ya colonel! I got thirty cents and one Willkie button. Gabby: Swell, how- did it go? Slop: 0. K. Only one thing. The chancellor passed and wanted to give me a nickel. Bui I didn ' t take it. He needs it more than we do. Jeep: You ain ' t kidding. Galyby: Let ' s have the mazuma. I ' ll go buy something. Slop: Take it. but for Heavens ' sakes bring some thing back lo eat. Gabby: Don ' t worry so much. Y ' ou ' ll get a hard- ening of the arteries. Slop: Boy. what a life. Scmie times I think il would be easier to go to class, ycep: Tell me something, how do you take all that guff from Gabby. He ' s a swell guy and All tlial Liiit enough i? too much. Slop: A«, 1 ilor I iniiid. Il makes lifo iiiteresling. I ' ele: Yiah, in a disgusting sorta way. Walks over to student i W hat are you doing? Study- ing again? (Slowly student rise , walks down- stage and sings I : Biology, Psychology, Are not for me To understand the theory of the Function Z For equations cast aspersions Gainst the mind of any person So how the heck do you expect To get anything from me. As for ornithology entomology loo I ' m acquainted with the hirds and ants That may h.- true. But am I gonna fK up high or iiilial)il llie lowly earth So how much is a fancy knowledge really worth. Ini educated to the brow Bui yet 1 understand educations like a charging cow. It gets you in the end. I don l know why I link together Things like this But here ' s one that the books of written Theory miss Im anemic sick and weary Of all books on the Freudian mind So why the heck Should I educate Myself 1 find. I Academy Award rushes in) jeep: How are you . .. . ? A. A.: Rotten. This light is killing my eyes. Pete: If you ' d stay out of the movies once in a while you wouldn ' t feel so badly about it. A.A.: Skip it. I just dropped in to get something to eat. Cousin: Who ' s he? Whoo? A. A.: And Vice Versa? Pete: He ' s my cousin. Meet A.A., that is Academy Award. We call him A.A. for short. Cousin : . cademv Award, what kind of name is that? Jeep: That ' s a nickname. Real name ' s Oscar. I A..A. picks up crackers lying around t . A.A.: So long fellers. Gotta phnoor off to make a show I Exit ) . I Gabby enters with fanfare and grocer.) All: We eat . . . etc. Grocer: Now wait a minute fellows. I gotta get money before I give up this food. Jeep: But we gotta eat. . fter all a man isn ' t made out steel. Cabby: Think of the great work you will be doing if you let us have the food. Building up American youth — giving them sustenance and nourishment -making them healthy and strong. Why we ' ll petition Congress to make a medal for you. Grocer: You really mean it? Slop: Of course! Your name will go down in history among the unhonored and unsung. You ' ll join the ranks of Benedict Arnold and John Quisling! Think of the honor Harry. Throw out your chest, pull in your stomach! You ' re a great man. Harry! Grocer: Gee. I never thought of that. Slop: And remember, no more mention of money. And don ' t forget the password — For the Cause ! Grocer: For the cause! All: For the cause! (This is accompanied by an appropriate salute). (Exit). All: Let ' s eat! I A slightly mad eating scene goes on now for several minutes. To appreciate it, one must have witnessed iti. Pete: Boy, I can face anything now. Cousin: (gloatingly} Well, I ' m glad to hear that. Now you won ' t mind what I have to lell you. Pete: What ' s bothering you. Calamity Jane? Cousin: Have 1 got some good news for you! Pete: (holding Cousin by the earl C ' mon Sewer- face, tell Poppa. Cousin: Viell. before I Ufl liuuu-. I vi iled your father and he said he going lo di ' ip in lo see you any day now. (pregnant pause) I ' m sure you ' ll want to have him lalk ihings over with the registrar, and the Inirsar. and every- thing. Pele: Why didn ' t you tell me that before, weasel- puss ? Cousin: 1 didn ' t think it was that important. Gabby: What are you so excited about Pete? Pete: What am 1 excited about? Do you know what this means? What ' s my father going to do when he finds out my money ' s gone, that I haven ' t been in class for months. Gosh 1 can ' t even think of it. Gabby: Oh, don ' t let it worry you. We ' ll liiul some way to fix things. Pete: Yeah, it ' s fine for you to talk. It ' s not your father who ' s coming. ( picks up hat I This lias been a tough day for me, boys. I ' m going out to grab a fast movie. (Cousin starts leaving w ith him ) Where do you think you ' re going. Piecrust? Cousin: Your father told me to go wherever you go. Pete: Well, c ' mon. (sugar lone). We ' ll go lo the movies. And on the way we pass the mosi beautiful cemetery. (Exit). Slop: (.Who has been reading newspaper, jumps up). How do you like this? Remember ibat bum Baxie Mare we bet on in the last Moe Klouis fight? Well listen to this. (Reads from paper). Baxie Mare, whose climb down the pugilistic ladder was aided by a 37 second KO at the hands of champion Moe Klouis, the Toledo Torpedo, last week, will receive thirteen thousand dollars as the loser ' s purse, for par- ticipating in the fracas. Rumours of a return engagement between the two have definitely been spiked by the announcement that Klouis will meet the up and coming Philly Flash. Horsey Paddock sometime next July. The re- port is going around that Klouis is running short of sparring partners, two more of whom landed in the mortuary today. All applicants for sparring partners positions will be inter- viewed today at Klouis ' gym For those who feel that life is getting (lull this is recom- mended as an excellent tonic. Gabby: Boy, are we prize chumps. Bet our last cent on a guy who gets tired before he starts. So what does he get, what, .$1,3,000 bucks. I ' m going out to the toilet for a drink. (Opens door and dorm supervisor falls in. He has been listening at the keyhole. DS: (Speaks with a super-English accent, and shakes his little beard). Could you please tell me if Percival Arlington Ginsburg lives here? Jeep: (Laughing). What a handle, Percival Arlington Ginsburg. Did you get that fellus. Percival Arlington . . . Gabby: What ' s so funny? Jeep: What ' s so funny he asks. This guy asks for some one by the name of Percival Ar! . . . Gabby: Shut up! That ' s me. Slop: Ha! So they finally found the skeleton in your closet, Perce. Jeep: Say, who are you anyway? DS: That ' s precisely what 1 wanted to lell you. But first 1 wanted to make sure of a few things. You are Percival and you 1 presume are Franklin Pierce Cohen. Jeep: (Shaking his hand). And you are Dr. Livingston I presume. DS: Enough of this levity! Are you or are you not Franklin? Jei ' ii: Ni), I ' m iml. Slop: Of ((HUM. Iir nnr. Iliul ' - in.-. AS: Oil, H ' l- N  Ihrri I ' .icivjil .111.1 I ' lalik lin . . . (iah ami Sloy: I. 2. .1. i. T,, . . . Jevji: M .i lrr! .S (l K jlIHl a Mlilllllr. W III. ;|M- ..ll ' AS: Oh, I iK ' i lcrlril III nil V Iiiln ' l { Vm llir new l(iriiiiliiry sii|i(rrvis(ii. ijiip wlii-lli i . Sliiji: Tlir new ilcirin miprr, kii«. DS: Yis. (idlitiy: VViin ' l ymi xil ilnwii, xir. Iliivc u crackiT. (livr llir mail a cl anllc. Make yoiir clf al liiiiiii ' . (They liii ' ak llirir necks Iryinc In makr liiin ciimlnrlalilrl. ■S ii K Is llii ' ic aiiylliiii rise vim wain. ' ' DS: ' ' m iuHl ll. I waiil lli.- irril. iCiali -lull away fnim liiml. Ciihhy: Wlial mil. ' ' DS: AcciinJinti In llir ii ' innl I III ' iMill-. imt a mil abiiul h fci ' l lull): I ynii havrn ' i paid rciil since liviii); lirro. In fuel ynn ' ri ' mil even rcBisleicd as diirniilnry stiidriUs. Luckily, I fdliiid a niilalioii dalni Iwn and a half years afiii ihal yiiu Iwn were liviii;; iIiivmi lirii ' . Sn hell ' I am fm llie rent. Cahby: And linw much is ihc iciil ' . ' ' DS: Well since cverylhinj; is sn irrcjiiilar I ' ve decided In scllle fur a mere hundred ilnllar-. Ji ' ci : A luindred dnllars. Slop: A iniTc hundred dnllars. i.S ieil i. Cabby: Well ymi dnn ' l cxpeci us in have ilial nuicli ninney. DS: Nn. I ' ll cxpeci the uinne in hvn paymenis iif $S0 each, ll shnuhln ' l he Inn hard In raise the nuiiiey hclween ihc Iwn nf ynu. Slop: At times ynu can he sn enchantiiiply naive. Gabby: And wlial hap|iens if we dnn ' l pay the rent ' ? DS: Then, I ' m sorry In say. ynu ' ll he I ' victed. Jeep: Then dnn ' l say it. DS: I ' m geltinp fed np. Arc ynu nr are ynu nnl fining tn pay the rent ' ? Slop: (To Gabby Try something fast. Gabby: But you can ' t lake this room away frnm us. It ' s the only thing we have in the wnrld. It ' s been . . . All: mother and father, a sister and a brother tn us. Gabby: What ' s closer than your father and yniir mnthcr, your sister and your brother? DS: Your underwear. I Gabby makes to slap Sloppy but realizes who made the crack I . Slop: Think fast, Mr. Moto. Gabby: Very well then. 1 didn ' t wani In hrin;: this into our discussion but if I must 1 must. Slop: Yes do. Gabby: Do you know who he is. ' (Pointing to Slop I. He ' s the chancellor ' s son. Slop: Yes. the chancellor ' s son. V ' hat? DS: Why I ' ve never known that the chancellor had a son. yecp: Live and learn. Gabby: If you had a son like thai would ynu want to advertise it? DS: Why this is fantastic. I know the chancellor has no son. I happen to be his nephew. Gabby: The chancellor ' s nephew! Jeep: So that ' s how you got the job of dormitory super. Politics! Gabby: Yes. Politics! Slop: Positively revolting! Gabby: ' e ' ll spread this far and wide! Slop: Everybody will know about this! Jeep: Nepotism al Yeshiva! Gabby: Oh the ghastlincss of it all! Slop: That 1 should live to see this day! Jeep: The effrontery of it all. DS: (Banging on table ' . Silence. Silence. Now I see it all. This is a hoax. You tried to play on my sympathies. Well it won ' t help in the leuKl. Tryinit In iiiukr a (ool of riir. Jrrp: If ul (ir«l yiMi rlim ' l •uerr«- l . . , DS: KiiniiKh! I wn iJoinK Ir. main- il r«.y (or yiMi bill now eilhrr I linve ihiil fir«l ps iri ' -nl within two duy« or mil ynu it - And a« (or y iu, you, you, . . . I rep: Sir, you ' re rrpcniin|{ yourwK, DS: Oh rnmiMiibcr in two ilayn, ' Klyinn «uli. s o c Hoy whol u menu. What a •wen mcM. (,(ibby: Yeah, wr tnunl ((pI wimr monry . but faKl. Jeip: If you ' ll wall a minute I ' ll prim yr u «imr. Gabby: ila Im. Slop: iiyway il ' o oprinn now anil thr park binihe are «oflriiin|i up. Gabby: Hiil wlir-re will we hand our mirror ? Slop: If iinyhody elce walk- in lliroUKh thai tlfMir anil a«ks (or money I ' ll orrram. Pfle ami cousin return I. I ' rlr: I jiiKt remembered I ilon ' l have any monry to H I l ' ' moviek. (.an anyonr Irnil mr a «|uarler? I. Slop ncrcami-i. Whol ' « the mailer with him? Gabby: Nothing: Look Pete we ' re in a (Ix. The niw dorm super was in here anil lolcl u we have to raise $. 0 in two day . I ' ele: %H) in two days. What ' s he think lhi i ? Jeep: What ' s the difference what he think . We have In raise the dough. (.ousin: Why not use yeast. Mehaw. I l uph die« as all turn and glarel. Ship: ( ' nion. Let ' s pet some ideas on how to make some gelt. (.oii.sin: (Bursting out and gathering momenlumi. Kun a raffle. That ' s a good idea. I ui-la In belong to a club and we needed money and we ran a raffle. (While talking he ' s picked up. put on bed and smothered effectively i. Jeep: Hey listen. I got an idea. You know ihe school is running a contest to sei ' who can write the best inarching s inp. I gotta song I wrote some time back. The eonlcsl is officially over but I know the chairman and he can fix it up for me. I ' ll send it in. It ' like money in the bank. Gabby: Yeah, just like. Jeep: Well it ' s worth a try isn ' t it. All 1 need is fifty cents entrance fee. .Slop: Money, money, money. It ' s not only the root of all evil. It ' s ihe whole darn tree. Gabby: That ' s only one possibility. We have lo think up more ways. Pele: I read somewheres that people sell iheir bodies to doctors so that when they die iheir corpses can be cut up. Ya know what I riean? Slop: Yeah. yeah. Now all we need is a person whose body we can sell. (Voice dies out as idea hits him. W hirls suddenly on cousin who has crawled off bed and is standing in corner. Gabby. Slop. Jeep. Pete all turn around slowly and Stan towards cousin. Suddenly Pete yells i. Pete: Hey! .After all. he ' s my cousin! i All lurn back I . Slop: I guess it wasn ' t such a good idea. ( ' ■abby: (Sitting down notices paper, jumps and yells ' . Boy I ' ve got il. . pip of an idea! It can ' t fail! It ' s sure money! What a honey! Slop: I ' m against it. It ' s no good! Gabby: hat do you mean you ' re against i ' .. You don ' t even know what it is. Slop: I don ' t care what il is. Every lime you get a swell idea I suffer in the end. Gabby: Oh shut up and listen will ya? Remem- ber this column yT)U read Itefore about Moe Klouis looking for sparring partners- . 11 we have lo do is to get a sparring partner for him. Jeep: Sure, hut where do we gel a sparring partner. (Sloppy tries to sneak out but it ' s too late • . inety-three Gabby. (AnnouncingK Sloppy. Numliev une man on the P. S. 45 boxing team. Slop: Uh, uh. Not me. I ' m saving myjiell for Uncle Sam. I ' m not gonna get my biaint beat out. Gabby. It ' s only practice. He can ' t kill you. Cousin: -And if lie does we can sell your body to the doctors. Slop: (Takes back swins; at Cousin l. Darn it. ril kill your little ... Gabby: Come on Sloppy. If I coulil box 1 d go. Vou can ' t let us down now. V ' e ' re in a jam and we need the dough. Pele : Look Sloppy — 1 never asked you lo do anything like this. Slop: ' I Crying). But Pele . . . Pile: This is the last time we ' ll ever ask you lo do anything like this. Sloppy. Slop: .No. why should I . . . Whal ' d you fellows ever do for me . . . I ' m not gonna . . . I ' m not sonnu . . . O. K. I ' ll do it. Cousin: You ' ll be sorry! I ' ele: Shut up. Cabby: Then it ' s settled, .leep will get that song in and Sloppy yvill go down and get signed up as a sparring partner. Slop: Darf men gein in collitch? When 1 came here 1 thought it was a swell place. (Sings: to the tune of Reuben, Reuben. I ' ve Been Thinking ' I. Pop idld me .Son. education ' s great For fun, life or job. or even to get you a mate; So 1 packed my bag and wiggled my thumb Why, oh why. didn ' t I stay at home. 1 had a home, three meals a day. My home was in lovely Reading P. A. 1 was doing fine until that unlucky day, Why. oh why, etc. I came lo Heshiva in thirty-three, T ' was on a scholarship you see; They said I ' d gel room and board free Why. oh why, e ' .c. 1 got a room, they gave me the keys. But the room was so small though they tried to please; That when I had a cold, my neighbor would sneeze. Why, oh why. etc. The food, you ask, y m see me scowl. When I think of the food, boy I just growl; For it was neither fish nor flesh — it was foul! Why, oh why, etc. When I was young, my teachers told me First comes A, then B, then C; But after eight years at Heshiva College I ' m convinced that first comes D! Why, oh why, etc. Pele: Gabby and 1 will go out and try to dig up some kinda work. Check? All: (Ad libl. OK. (Shake hands all around. Bell rings. Student at table gets up, stretches, lights cigarette. Slowly walks across to exit). Cousin: What ' s he doing now? Slop: He ' s got a free period. Pete: Well, let ' s go. I Just then a knock on the door. Telephone man enters, looks about yvith his binoculars. picks up his hat, leaves his pants lying there, smiles, walks to the door, looks back and says : I Tel. Man: I knew I forgot something! (Shnv curtain as audience falls) ACT II Scene: Same as before. Time: Tyvo days later. At rise of curtain stage is empty except for student who is seated at table studying. Sud- denly he gets up and sings: At this very moment they ' re in a predicament, For lack of the stuff that fills the U. S. mint. Some call it filthy lucre and others lucky dough, But 1 know: They say you ' re sitting pretty with a pile of it in tow. But when you need it most the things jusi up and go; Some dame just robs il from you seii ' iilirieally vou know, She hints let ' s go lo ihe Asiur nr llie Kitz and dine in style; She glances at his bankroll and at liir hhIiI goes wild. She knows that he ' s a sucker and she ' ll lake him for a ride: Thai ' s the reason for the conclusion, I ' ve resolved to the illusion. Thai money ' s the root of all evil. (After a few seconds have passed Sloppy comes in all bandaged up, looking like a corpse, and walking as if in a dream. He collapses on the bed. few more seconds and Gabby and Jeep enter). Cabby: Well, today is the day. Pretty soon ihat dorm super will be in here for ihe rent. Jeep: How do we stand in the way of money? Cabby: Well 1 didn ' t gel any. Jeep: 1 expected thai. 1 mean from the other fellows. Gabby: Your song didn ' t come through. Jeep: Yet. Gabby: 0. K. yet. Pete couldn ' t raise any cash. 1 didn ' t see K. A. Everybody else is broke so I guess Sloppy is our only hope. Jeep: Where is he? Gabby: I don ' t know. He went down yesterday and got the job. At first they didn ' t want to give il lo him but he talked his way into it. He started lo yell that Moe Klouis was a bum and that he could lick him. And he also said that they were afraid lo let hm be ihe sparring partner because he would tear Klouis apart. At first they all laughed at him but you know how Sloppy can get on your nerves. in about ten minutes Klouis got so sore he told Sloppy lo come down early today. So Sloppy left this morning and I haven ' t heard from him since. Jeep: Oh, Oh. I ' m beginning to get worried. (Gets up and starts walking around). If we don ' t hear from him soon . . . ( Sees Sloppy on bed 1 . Hey Gabby, don ' t look now but there ' s a mummy on your bed. Gabby: (Jumps up). A mummy? Are you crazy? (Takes a look). How did that get there? Jeep: Don ' t look at me. (They both go up to look at Sloppy. Gabby picks up a bandage and looks under it I . Gabby: Y ' ipe, it ' s Sloppy. Jeep: Sloppy? Is he alive? Gabby: How do I know? (By this lime all the bandages are off and they prop him up. His face is a mess with black eyes, adhesive tape, etc.). Sloppy, speak lo me. Say something. Sloppy: Opens mouth and lets out a long drawn out) OOOOHHHH. Jeep: How do you feel? Stop: Like a new born babe. What do you think? Gabby: He ' s O.K. 1 can lell by the way he answers. Slop: O.K. am I? Bleeding like a stuck pig. Probably a few bones broken, internal hem- morhages . . . Gabby: Slop the sob story. Did you gel any dough? Slop: Did you hear that? The first thing he asks me is about money. He ' s not even inter- ested in me. For four rounds I look the most brutal beating ever administered to man by man. the most fearful bludg . . . I lnety-four Cdliln: lli ' l VMM vr iinv iiiipiiryy SInir. Vriili, |.,Mv .I..II.M . W. ' imikIh I.. Ii..|,l il,. llnl ' lll HIjpiTviBlir (iff Willi llli f l ' II Mllill-. liiil liny iMiFri- i(l™ ymi (jrl yiMi niii i-niim im- iric (lUl. I ' lvrn ill Icii liiickH a riiiiiid il ' t iinl wiiilli il. ' I ' liiil ' s fiiiiil. liiil li  iiiimIi ' li ' l yiiu fi ' lloWH ni ' l y . (•(• ;; Yiiii kriiiw llir an«wri. .S ' o C I lllnllnlll vein Hiiill V ll v r HiiMllll Lr a loll. iiii ' l (;cl a iiili in-l UV ' - 11 iiisl (:„l,l,y: WrII llial. Slop: Hill iiilis fur inr ..ii can prl. I KiiI.t I ' -I. ' , cxcilrdl. frlv: llnly iiiackcicl, am I in a |,irkl.-. I,n.,k al llii niilr my (•(iiisiii Irfl. I Hcail- 1 . ' nil a Icli ' tiiam fnim vniir fiillirr hIiu ' s inminn in |nila . Vri;l h lllr -.lalinn hi |Mik liiin n|p. II, ■ ' II hr In ' lr an iiMiilil. ' . Wlial iini I !_...nna (Iny . (■ ■ ;: Wlial ' s llicic I v-i- cM-iliMl ali.inli ' ' (■ ■: Wluil ' s lliiTc In ncl I ' xi ' ilfil ulinni? l.i (I.Mi. 1 ilnn ' l luivo a (Inrm. I ilidn ' i pay llir liiii-ai. I liavcii ' l l)(-cn 111 class fur (Jil kmi s linu liiiiC. My ciiilsiii is ariiiiml In i|iicn llic wnrk- aml he asks mc wlial ' s llicii- In (icI cxcilcl uImiuI. Slop: Well. Innk. nii can Icll v„iii lallni llii- is yinir ilniiii rnnm. lie ilncsii ' l have In kmiw ymi (ion ! alleiul class if ymi play il smart. And we can handle thai cousin of yours- which will be a f;real pleasure. Pete: But how ahmil the hiirsar ' . ' ' Slop: Oh, the hiirsar. Pete: If only I had alunil fifty dnllars in t;ive him I ciHild fix il up. You know, give him a good story and he ' ll cover up for you. He ' s not a had egg. But I don ' t have the money. Gabby: How much did vmi say von needi ' d ' . ' ' (Looks al Slop). Pete: Fifly bucks. (Gabby still looking al .Slupi. Sloppy: Go on, give him the money. What ' s a quart of blond in my young life. Here, lake another. Gabby: (Giving Pete the money i. Here ' s forty bucks. This oughia swing it. Fix il up with the bursar, beat it downstairs, meet your father when be conies in and bring him up here as if ibis were your room. We ' ll be a couple of your friends you asked to meet your old man. Pete: Gee, thanks fellus, (Starts to leave in a hurry but stops just before leaving). One more thing. When my father gels here cut out the rough stuff and act like real studious college boys. . nd take my father ' s picture out of my valise and pul it on ihe dresser. All: O.K. Yeah. Sure. (Pete leaves!. Jeep: (Singing) Isn ' t this a lovely day To sleep out in the park ' ? Nobody bothers you they say Once it gets dark. . . . Gabby: Don ' t worry. We ' ll gel out of it some- how. Slop: Boy. isn ' t it a shame we ' re not boy scouts. What a good deed this would be. Jeep: Easy come, easy go. Slop: That second part is O.K. but where do you get that easy come business? ( .A. A. comes rushing in 1 . . . A. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Guess what hap- pened? I was in the Odoron you know where they play Screeno 17 limes a day and what do you think happened? Sloppy: Don ' t tell me . . . A. A.: Yep. I won. Gabby: How much dough did you gel? A. A.: What kinda dough? They bad twelve prizes and I was the 13th winner. 1 got a pass. Hey. aot any food? (CiH-n iivi-T III rroi ' luTu mi !«lilr , Crark rr«! GmekiTii! All I KPl i« rmrlirr ! I ' vp l r -n Hv- illK iill llieup rrillker« fur llir |is«l Iwii lUy . Doii ' l yon (rlli.m. pver ihunK ' - ) ii ' ' lii ' ' ' Sum an eiliiriiliniiul liiirl nil iiImiiii mIihI Iii cmI, .Siiy« yon koIIii mry your din. iiylt il) (( it a riuiirelle? lT(lke« nllPl ii IrillK (of nOW. (ioliM noilier kIiow i iiuikr. iriin mill Slop: How do yon like lliiil ' ? ' JMi ' lve priw. and he ' s the l.llh winner. Sneli are ilir ailvraitiF of life. Oiine on, mi- koIIii (ikii HI xitni- way In rai«e innnry pronln. Gabby: I ' ll priieliee up on wri-«ll inK and ici out and beeoinn u wrenller ' a tiiarrinK (larlnrr. Come on Jeep. i.SlHrlH wreHllinii in the middle of llir ulaKc.l Slop: Ha, liu. I ' omrrlian. Ijii«l ihrn llir diHir opens anil in niureli I ' rle, riiuKin. and FVir ' « father) Yes, ibis ii. rxaclly ihe Dionyaian rlanee performed in Grrcce over 2WX) year ago, I The bovs slop and notice Petri Jeep: Oh. hello. ' I ' eie: Hello fellows. I want yiiu lo mm my falliir. Thai ' s f;«b I ' erey and thin l« Frank- lin, and ihul ' s Jeep. I- other: How d.i von do? : Hello, (ad lib) Gabby: I hope we ilidn ' l frighten you when you came in but we were rcronBlruelinK an old (Grecian dance which had been demonslraird al a recent lecture by one of our profefsor . I Cousin starts lo laugh liul is oiopped rudely by a hand over his mouth, i I ' op: What was that. Abraham? Abe: Oh, nothing. I Hell rings. Student geld up and starts lo write on ihe hoard. I Abe: What ' s he doing now ? Jeep: He ' s giving himself an exam. I ' op: What is all thi ? Ibe: (Blurts out before anyone can slop himC He didn ' t pay his tuition so he sits here a ' if be were in class. I ' op: What? Slop: Your nephew is so gullible he liclicves everything he hears. , 6e: Then what ' s he been doing. . . . (.Again the hand Pop: What ' s that Abraham? the: I Looking around) Nothing, i Tries lo edge closer In Pop but is pulled back ) Pop: Well well this is a very nice mom. Large. plenty space lo move around in. . . . ( Door opens. Grocery man enters i Grocery Man: I don ' l want to interrupt but I really need . . . Gabby. Sloppy. Jeep: iSalul- ing) For the cause! Grocery Man: (Saluting) For the cause! (exitsi Pop: ' ft ' bal was that? Gabby: Oh that was a fire inspector. He come? around lo see if everything is in order. That ' s our way of showing him that it is. Abe: But he looked like. . . (Hand again) Pop: hat was thai. .Abraham? Abe: Nothing. Pop: Oh. I see my picture here. (Goes over lo look at it • Gabby: (In stage whisper to Pete I Could we touch the old man for some dough? Pete: Nothing doing. I just gol my allowance four days ago. We shot that on a baseball pool remember? Gabby: Oh yeah. Pop: ' Well do I remember when this picture was taken. But I don ' t suppose you warn to hear my story. Slop: But of course. We ' ve already heard so much about you from Pete. Pop: Have you now. That ' s very good of Pete. Perhaps some other time. Right now I want to see the bursar. Pete: But we saw him before we came down inety-Jire here. Pop: S.p we dia. 1 meanl llu- registrar. Pete: The registrar. ' (.p: Yes. I Jeep whistles funeral march t Pete: 1 Jon ' t think he ' s in right now. Abe: Yes he is. 1 just ham. . . ihaiid agami Pop: What was that . braham . ' Abe: .Nothing. . , i . i Slop: We don ' t want to alarm you unduly but 1 think vou should know that Abraham (he smiles sweetly pulling arm around him with more than friendly pressure I has been suffer- ing from a cold ever since yesterday and goes around coughing in this peculiar manner. Im no doctor but 1 would suggest that he be sent to bed immediately. Abe: I don ' t have a cold. Jeep: You don ' t have to hide it from your uncle. ■Ibe: (Breaking awav and running to his uncle ' s aid I I don ' t have a cold and i don ' t have to be sent to bed. Pop: But . braham. ... Abe: l Almost crvingi 1 don ' t have a cold. Pop: Very well. You don ' t have to go to bed but remember you mustn ' t get yourself worked up or you ' ll liave another one of those attacks. (To others I Abraham is a very delicate child and his parents were rather worried about sending him to school away from home. Pete: Don ' t worry. I ' ll take care of him. Pop: And now for the registrar. Pete: Wha ' is there to see the registrar about? Gabby: (Whispers to Sloppy) Go out and come back as the registrar. Slop: What? Pop: I just want to find out how you re doing. Gabby: Go on. Slop: O.K. Pete: But can tell you how I ' m making out. Slop: If you ' ll excuse me for a moment I have to see someone. Pop: Surely. Go right ahead. Slop: 0n way out crosses before Pete I Stall for time. Pop: Well shall we go? Pete: You wait right here. I ' ll go see if he ' s in. Pop: But why go through all that extra bother. If he ' s not in you can show me all around the school. Pete: But it ' ll only take a moment to see if he ' s in. Pop: I ' m beginning to think you don ' t want me to see him. Pete: Who me? Whatever gave you that impres- sion? If you want to go, I ' m ready. (Looks despairing at the boys I Gabby: JusI a moment sir. If you can spare a while there ' s something you might be inter- ested in. Pop: What that? Gabby: Well er er Jeep here you know is a song writer. Pop: Really. How interesting. Gabby: Oh yes. He writes all sorts of songs; don ' t you Jeep? Jeep: Oh of course. Pop: -May I see your song? Well. I ' d like to try singing it myself. You know I used to sing for the Metropolitan when I was young? Pete: The Metropolitan Opera, father? Pop: No. .Metropolitan Life Insurance. (Sings) Now you ' ve heard all those songs about mother K lady so sweet — so sublime They ' ve called her terrific Sweet, charming — prolific hnA anything else that will rhyme. But no one sings about father, He ' s always the also-ran; No poems, odes or stories, To tell of his glories. He ' s the forgotten— forgotten— man! But me, I ' ve been thinking, nd this secret to you I ' ll impart; He ' s the one that signs the checks, boys, He ' s the one that ' s in my heart. F — is for his friendly financing, is f„r my allowance, may it grow; T— is for the ten-spots so endearing, H is for Hey. how ' s about some dough. ' E — is for his extravagance R is for his roll — now running low. Put them all together they spell father. Who ' s hocked his soul for me and Morgenthau. (Door flies open and in stalks Sloppy as the registrar; dressed in gown and cap and an absurd wig, wearing pince-nez glasses) Slop: (In a bravura voice) How do you do. fellows? 1 1 J • , Gabby: (the only one who realizes what s doing) Oh sir I ' d like to have you meet our registrar. This is Pete ' s father. Slop: How are you? Pop- It ' s a pleasure to meet you. Cousin: (Trying to follow) But that isn t. . . (Gabby steps between him and the others and forces him back.) Pop: What was that Abraham? Abe: Nothing. Jeep: That cough again. ,..,., Slop- So you are Pete ' s father. It is indeed for- tunate thai I have met you. Of course you must realize that it is not often that 1 ever walk into the boys ' rooms. Dignity and all thai you know. Brfsk, ahem! But those boys are different. In fact I often have intellectual discussions with them. They are all fine ex- amples of the best of college students. But where is Franklin. He ' s the best of them all. Brfsk ahem, egag brumph! Pop: He is a very fine boy. He just stepped out for a minute. Slop: Yes, yes. Give him my regards when he returns. But as I said I am glad I met you. I want to talk to you about Peter. Pop: I was on my way up to your office about that very matter. How is Peter making out? Slop: I regret having to say this but 1 am slightly disappointed in him. I was just glancing through his record and I found that he has three B ' s. Now for other students 3 B ' s and all the rest . ' s is extremely good but for a boy of Peter ' s abilities which I see he has in- herited from his father, not so good. I_ see no reason why he shouldn ' t get all A ' s. I hope you will talk to him about it. Pop: (Pleased but trying to hide it) Well now Peter what do you say. Will you try harder from now on? Pete: Yes father. Slop: Good, good, good. Lots of luck, Peter. (Slaps him on the back almost breaking him in two) Well I must leave you now. I am a very busy man and all that you know. (Starts to leave and sees Abe) Ah little Abraham. How ' s your cold today. Much better I hope. (Pinches his face but with a vengeance) Goodbye Bye, Bye. I must leave now. (Goes lo door) It ' s been a pleasure to know you. I hope we meet again soon. Oh I almost forgot. Good day good day (Just as he is walking out he bumps into the D.S.) Bye. D.S.: Good day. (Looks after him) Pop: Nice chap that registrar. D.S.: Registrar? Gabby: (Tries to shove him out) Franklin isn t in now. D.S.: You ' ll do just as well. Gabby: (Still pushing) But I can ' t help you. Pete: Shall we go father? ISinety-six I ' ofi: .lllHl U llM.riirMl. IM likr (.. -rr hIiih ' - Imp |i(;niiiK. Ihir. (KolniMli ' ii Ini III.- inniiirnl hI H iriiini pliuiilly) ' riiiilV llir . I. .111111. pry hiiprrviM.r, uiicli!. (.|n ' |) lni|iH a! Iiiiii l.ul iiii«!.i ' B iiiiil fall- iiild Ihc ix ' il.l U.S.: Sii you me I ' .lc ' s fiillin V Po i: Yi ' H. Anil ynu hit iIw ilnriiiil.iiy mi|mim ..i I wu jllHl iTMiiiikin lliiil Miv -.iiri ' ri...Mi i vny iiioi!. D.S.: Yonr will ' s 1 ' f isl..p|i .■. - m .1- Imn S«ir mUcH ill siliuili..ll slcps in lirliwrn D.S. and Pnp) i in-l 111. I llir rriii !! !- nnNiilr. How (111 yon lil-. ' Iiini. ' I hope III ' uiivc yon a nood rrpoil. In fail lir iniisl liavr liriansi- I ' cio i.H (|nili ' a Irllou in Ills sliiilirs. I liopr lie lolil yon liow ninrli lir lliinks of our j;ronp. We aiv Ihr loa.liTs of tlir m ' IiooI. Shall  -■ li„. I ' m snir Mill wani I.. In ' ' ■liowii all llic sis;l.l . I ' o,,: I do Inn . . . Sloir. Wi ' ll In ' sno. Pop: Itnl (iisl I ' ll likr lo prak a Iru U..1-.I- I.. ihc Doniiiloiv Snpcuisoi. Slop: Wi ' ' ll slop oil al liis oHi.v on „ni Ha ai ' oniul. I ' op: Bill lir ' s lirlil li. ' ir. ,S (( i; Wlicri-: ' lliims aroim.l a- if rruiti tin- D.S. for llii ' lli-l liini ' l Win lo ' ll... I di.ln ' l I ' Veii know yon wrir licii ' . Isn ' l tlial slraiifH ' . ' ' You lieii anil I didn ' l even .... (Door (iie. ' s open and (Iroiiiynian comes in. Before he can say anylhin;; llic l)o s snap lo alli ' iilion. Hoys: h ' or ihc cause. Groccryniiin: Kor llic cause. Icxilsi 1 D.S. };cis around lo I ' op. I D.S.: Did 1 nndcisland yon lo say llial onr s,,i, room was very nice ' r Pop: Yes I did. 1 lliink ihis is a line room. D.S.: This i.s a nice room. Pop: Yes it is. I ' m lad niv son lias il. D.S.: Your son? You ' re Pclei ' s lallicr arcn ' l you ' ! Pop: Yes. I am I ' clcr ' s fallier. D.S.: How can you he Peter ' s lather and say you are glad that your son has this room ' ; ' Pop: (Flying completely off the handle) Is there a law against being Peter ' s father? Is there a law against Peter ' s father saying he is glad his son has such a nice room? D.S.: No hut . . hut . .but . . but . . Jeep: You sound like a molorboat. sir! Gabby: Don ' t mind him sir. He has those fits occasionally. We ' re used lo him. on realh mustn ' t mind what he says. He ' s not r. ' - sponsible. (.leeps closes . ' Vbe ' s mouth) D.S.: lyclling al lop .if voice) This is not your son ' s room ! Gabby: See what 1 mean? I Slop motions to Jeep to get rid of the D.S.) D.S.: This is preposterous. Slop: If you ' ll come with us we ' ll show you something in our room. I He and Jeep grab hold .d ' b.S. by each arm) D.S.: (Completely berserk) Your room. His room. My son ' s room. .-Vre you all crazy? Gabby: A typical symptom. Thinks everybody is crazv. (Slop and jeep throw out the still raving D.S. and f.dl.iw 1. Abe: 1 think yon onghl . . . iPele gives him the hand ) Pop: . braliam that cold is really serious. I think yon ought to go to bed. { terrific crash is heard. Pop runs lo door. Slop leans in) Slop: li ' s O.K. I just dropped my lead pencil. Pop: Oh. (Turns and Sloppy pulls out. Pop catches on and whirls around. Slop looks in again and smiles sickly and slams door. Pop: very nice boy. Seems to be slightly ec- centric ihougli. B the way t haven ' t much lime iinyiiHire. I ' vi- k iI Ki ciilrli « liiilii lidi Ic home. I ' m II vrry Imi«) innn you kiiovt. I )i)«l Kfubbed a few lioiir lo • •nir ilomi hrir 10 •re liim you iinil Miriihiini wrrr rioiuK. Giihhy: I ' m w.rry to •.• y.ui linvi- lo rim at.« HO Hoiin. I can jii«l lliink ..( nil llie (un we ' d have if yon layed fur 11 while, ' () ' : Yi ' K. I iiuHKine il woiild lie ralliiT lively. (,,ibliy: You don ' t know llie half if il linillirr. ' Hull Ih. we reiilly would have kepi ihiiiK ' K ' I ' lip. I ' m not iippimed In a K d ' ' ■■ ' ' I ' ' ' v n muinlnin ihul if you liiirn llir ranillp al holli end there roini-ii a lime when you iniixl pay. Gabby: Ain ' t il ihe Irulh. Kifly liiiek. a «hol. Pop: Yi ' K, in a inuniier of pi ' akin|i. IVirr would villi want lo kIiow ine around llie nrhool. be: Oh Peler doe.n ' l have lo (jo. I ' ll ((liidly show yon around Hhix hopeliilly I I ' ele: Don ' t be xilly. I ' ll how my follier around. iiyhow you have lo ({o lo bed. iSlop enters and Hinnlfien evrrylhinji i« O.K.i Stiiii: Here I am bark axain. ' .) : Hello. Which reminds mc. Ju ! who wa« llial man who was in here? s o i: Ob, he ' s an instil ill ion al Heshiva, He ha .l.lnsions of grandeur. We always humor him, lint this was the worsl allaek I ' ve -.een ycl, I ' op: I Looks al watch 1 My. It ' s later than I realized. I won ' t be able lo look around. Before I leave ihoiipli I ' d like lo see your gymnasium. I was i|iiile an athlete you know in my younger years of roursc. Slop: Arc you leaving so soon? Pop: Yes 1 must hurry off. I ' ll see ihe gym and leave. I ' ll 1)1 ' back lo say goodbye before I go. Come Peler. I Abe tries lo go but is grabbed I Gabby: Y ' ou belter slay here. Abraham, Y ' our cidd you know, Abe: But: I ' op: Percival is right. You ' d belter slay here. I ' ll be back. (He and Pete leave) Abe: Ob if I could only have five minutes alone with him. Gabby: Listen you. This ihe first chance we ' ve had lo be alone with you. You almost caused the whole business to go haywire. ' e couldn ' t let you go with Pete because you might have said something wrong. But I ' m telling you now if you ever open your mouth about this lo anyone you won ' t have lo wiirry almul any- thing because you ' ll be dead. Got il? Abe: Y ' e-e-ss. Gabby: O.K. Ilo Slop) Now what gives with the D.S.? Slop: Poor fellow. He accidentally tripped and fell down the stairs. Gabby: Holy mackerel! Slop: Take il easy. Jeep and I were ibe first ones lo help him. ' e picked him up and carried him into a room and stretched him out on the bed and brought him 10. Il was such a touching scene. He finally said he wanted lo be alone and rest up so 1 came back here bul 1 left Jeep down there lo warn us if he starts lo come bacJc. Gabby: O.K. ell we took care of Pete ' s old man and everything is under control bul where are we going to get money lo pay the chancellor ' s nephew back? Slop: ' e re in solid with the old boy. Maybe we can get lo him for a touch? Gabby: I asked Pete. He said nix. Slop: Well that ' s that. I guess we belter start lo move out. We bad the money loo that ' s what makes it so lough. I Pete and Pop come back ) Pop: That ' s a fine gym you have here. You should have seen what a hole we had when I went to Minely-seren soli,.,.l. Slop: Vtell. our liole i jusi painled lliat ' s all. (Jeep cumes in ringing! yeep: The dorm super is conilng. Thf super is coniin ' . Slop: Oh Ooh. You ' d heller hurry if ynu wani In ralch your train. Pop: (Looking at watch i es I must. Pete: Come on father Til go hi llie di-pcii with you. Pop: You needn ' t hother. I ' m mi jiressed for lime I ' ll have to lake a taxi. Well goodhye. Take care of your cold, Ahraham. Boys. I want In say that I ' ve enjoyed my short visit ■ - - Pete: Father, time ' s a-wastin . Pop: So it is. By the way Ahraham your father asked me to give you this fifteen dollars for extra expenses and I ' ve given Peter ten dollars so you boys could go out and have a good time in my honor. Good bye. Peter write home regularly. Arovoir. Hob boh. French, vou know. All ' : Bye lad lib I Pete: Now all 1 have to worry about Is gelling a diploma. Sloppy: Twenty five bucks. Now all we need is another twenty five. Abe: What do you mean $2.5. Slop: Your fifteen and Pete ' s ten. Abe: It ' s my money and I want to keep it. Gabby: Now . brabam is thai the way to talk to your old friends, we ' re all in this together like a great big happy family. We share and share alike. Now be nice and give me the money before I bash your brains out. Abe: (almost crying) But after all . . . Jeep: Abraham. Abe: All right here. (Gabby takes money i Gabby: Come now smile, smile you little brat. That ' s belter. Now let ' s shake and be good friends and remember what I told you before. Pete: (handling over the money I Here ' s my ten. S ops $25. If we can only get (stops as door opens slowly — DS sticks head in and suddenly flings door open jumps in and looks around behind the door. I Slop: Hello. How are you feeling? That was a nasty fall you took. I ' m surprised you ' re still alive. D. S.: After bearing you say that I ' m surprised at the fact myself. However I didn ' t come here to bandy words. I ' m here to collect the rent. Gabby: Well the man who was here and said be he was glad his son had this room and you said whose son and he said what son and you said which son and you said . . . D. S.: Now just a moment. 1 don ' t know who that gentleman — that creature — was and 1 haven ' t the slightest inclination to find out anymore about it. Jeep: You seem to have an inclination on the stairs a while back. D. S.: I ' ll thank you to keep your remarks to yourself. . nd now if you don ' t mind, the rent please. Slop: The rent?! D. S.: Yes, the rent. And though I make it a point never to mix business with pleasure I ' m sure you will sympathize with me when I say that it will be a pleasure to give you the business. Gabby: Now that is hardly cricket, old chap. D. S.: Have you or have you not got the rent. Cabby: How much does it amount to? 0. .S. ' : I should like to colled one hundred dob lars but I ' ll stick to my bargain and take fifty as first payment. Have you got it? Slop: Well, yes and no. D. S.: And pray what does that mean? Gabby: Well you see it ' s this way. We have the money but we are waiting for a friend of ours to bring us the remainder. D. S.: And who is this friend of yours? Jeep: Anyone who brings us the money is our friend. D. S.: I ' ve had enough of this foolishness. Do you or do you not have the money? Slop: Guilty with ex tenuating circumstances. D. S.: And exactly what does that mean? Gabby: We have in cash . , . I Door flies open and . . A. enters!. A. A.: Lightning has struck Iwkr. Y is sir twice. Sloppy: Don ' t tell me . . . A. A.: Yep on the twelfth round. Jeep: What ' s the good of another pass? A. A.: Pass my eye. I hit the jackpot. Tweiily- five bucks. Slop: The Lord looks after his own. Gabby: Let ' s have it. And now Mr. Dorm Super- visor will you kindly draw up a receipt . . . (Door opens and in marches .Songster! Songster: Is Jeep here? Jeep: Here I am. Songster: I have a message for you. (Gives him (an envelope and sings: Congratulation to you . . . etc. I Jeep: Hallelujah! Didn ' t I tell you like money in the bank? Listen to this. It gives me great pleasure to inform you that your marching song has been chosen as the best marching song submitted in our Heshiva marching song contest. Enclosed please find our check for fifty dollars which was the prize offered. Yours for better music . . . How ' s that? Gabby: Make thai receipt for a hundred dollars, sir. And get out of my life till next year. Slop: Coises, foiled again. (D. S. leaves in a huff with money. A shot is heard. D. S. leans in.) O. S.: That was only my lead pencil! Songster: As a tribute to you we will now sing your winning marching song: (AH sing marching song:) March on Heshiva, Valiant and Strong Fight on to Victory, to you we sing this song; Let ' s cheer them Onward to victory, onward to fame Win all your battles. Glory be thy name Let ' s cheer them (repeat! . . . (Everyone exits except Student. Suddenly he gets up, walks to front stage, and says:) Student: Ob, the monotony of it all! CURTAIN (As cast comes on for curtain call, Telephone Man comes walking in. He walks to front stage and says:! Tel. Man: Dideh- anybody see my pants? THE END JSinety-iight ADVERTISEMENTS YE5HIVR COLLEGE Ninety-nine DL £ ,• .,. g s Ji EiJ-s £.j. L., ofJt (i Oncp tipiin II linir In a lciiii rr(ili orlli ' rii vliiiie, tn iififil fdilor n r;s i ' T iniirh in ilehl lo his creilitor. t ' inally. things rrached such ii terribly iiiv iil singe Tliat. in r hoilinfi rune. The rretlitor nnnounceil thni he wnnlil al)s lnlely nerer gife any more jinaiuini iiiil To snvh a blade. This ninde the editor lery snd. For this meant the end of the only means of support for his wife and roommates That he had. And he went around moping for ninny a day. And once when he looked into a mirror he saw thai liis while locks were undeniably turning gray. He seemed definitely at the end of his rope And was on the point of commiting suicide, when a little birdie hopped upon his shoulder, and in the fiercest of chirps, told the aged editor not lo he such a dope!! Hut what shall I do. asked the aged editor in despair. The little bird laughed and in a very fatherly manner tousled the aged editor ' :- hair. And then he lery sagaciously informed him that he could get enough money lo continue, and go on supporting his family, if he would only be wise And advertise. How ' s that, asked the editor, not seeming to understand. The little birdie chuckled again, and in a very motherly way, patted the aged editor s hand. (You ' ll have to excuse the fact that the little birdie is here portrayed as being an epicene creature. And if you don ' t know what that tvord means, look it up, but be sure not to ask the moguls in school, and thus run the risk of embarrassing your teacher.) But to return to our little story. The young bird expounded his wisdom to the old man in truly magnificent oratory. And when he ivas through The agetl editor realized that all that teas told to him was absolutely true. So he took the clever little birdie ' s advice And he went out and got a hold of some people, and explained the set- up, and they were very co-operative, and soon he had his paper running smoothly again, and all was lovely and nice. The aged editor was tcise enough to absolve himself of all responsibility concerning the validity of the claims made by the advertisers, because he didn ' t want to take the chance of willfully misrepresenting and thus involving himself with the community ' s journalistic latvs And, by a strange quirk of fate, our own editorial staff was tvise enough to do the satne thing, and thus made up in the eyes of many, for our magazine ' s innumerable flaws. At all events, the system worked beautifully, and the aged editor was perfectly contented. And that ' s how the idea of advertising first was invented. One hundred One hitndrcti one uUilli L omnliiiieii j ESTHER SURUT CS Compliments of Compliments of RABBI SOLOMON I. GORDON HYMAN R. FRIEDMAN AND ' 34 YOUNG ISRAEL of BRONX GARDENS CHARLES GORDON BRONX, N. Y. Compliments of Compliments of MANUFACTURERS RABBI ISRAEL MILLER EXCHANGE INC. ■38 KINGSBRIDGE HEIGHTS JEWISH CENTER 128 WEST 31st STREET BRONX, N. Y. NEW YORK CITY S. W. Altfeld One hundred two Compllmonia of M. L. KRAMER SONS 912920 BROADWAY NEW YORK, N. Y. HARRY ' S COLLEGE LUNCHEONETTE MR. MRS. HARRY KURZ FAMILY McCarthy simon. inc. Munulacturing Specialists 7.9 WEST 36th STREET, NEW YORK Just off Fifth Avenue Specialists in CHOIR VESTMENTS - PULPIT GOWNS CAPS, GOWNS, HOODS For All Degrees Oulfillers to over 2500 Schools, Colleges and Churches ALgonquin 4 0777 ROBERT G. HOROWITZ Manufacturer of Washington Park Clothes 141-147 FIFTH AVENUE NEW YORK Compliments of Mr. and Mrs. WM. FEINBERG 5399 HUDSON BOX CO., Inc. Paper, Tv ine, Tissue cna C::: ::; :;::; 159 WEST 26th STREET NEW YORK CITY Rep. by I. GLASS Compliments of Mayor and Mrs. THEO. ORNSTEIN and Family LONG BEACH, N. Y. GRamercy 7-7143 MARGOLIS CLOTHING CO. INC. Makers ci l. ' .er.s Ycung I. en s CLOTHING 97 HFTH AVENUE Corner 17th Street New York One hundred three Compliments of Rabbi Mrs, LEO JUNG NEW YORK CITY Compliments of MAX COHEN and Family MALDEN, MASS. Compliments of DR. ELIAS GINANDES OPTOMETRISTS COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY GRADUATES 129 EAST BROADWAY NEW YORK CITY COrtlandt 7-1787 THE PATRICIAN Caterers of Distinction Kosher Functions Arranged for at Leading Hotels, Synagogues, Your Home Our Own Ball Rooms Koshruth Under Supervision of RABBI MAX SCHAY of the Hungarian Beth Hamedrcsh Hagodol 151 WEST 51st ST. NEW YORK CITY Circle 7-7068 Mrs. I. Rcsoff Mrs. L. Schultz Compliments of I. C. ELMAN CINCINNATI, OHIO Compliments of Mr. and Mrs. D. DANIEL BROOKLYN, N. Y. COMPLIMENTS OF MR. AND MRS. I. ROSENTHAL BALTIMORE, MARYLAND Compliments of Rabbi and Mrs. JOSEPH H. LOOKSTEIN New York City Onp hundred four Compllmonls ol BENJAMIN L. LASKY LEON MILTON OHL. Inc. ATTOHNEY AT LAW S COURT STREET BROO:- ' : ' ' 1 UAylon 3 8778 JOSEPH BENECK Complimonts of RABBI SIDNEY NISSENBAUM BEN-BEN CLOTHES, Inc. 33 Stylist lo Disciiminnlinq Men 989 SOUTHERN BLVD. NEW YORK, N. Y. C .r.-r-,:, OU No J ' :- ' :. ' cmpiiments of c £, n K m A IN b Complimenis of JEWISH BOOK STORE A FRIEND 1261 BROADV.AV ' • ... for Victory Compliments of Rabbi and Mrs. HERBERT S. GOLDSTEIN Compliments of ED RICHMAN New York City Compliments ct IN LOVING MEMORY HEBREW NATIONAL PROVISION COMPANY or 155 E. Broadway NEW YORK CITY iScitluni rluuitrr One hundred fire COMPLIMENTS OF GERING PRODUCTS, Inc. Compliments of Compliments of RABBI MENDEL LEWITTES RABBI EPHRAIM F. SHAPIRO DORCHESTER, MASS. ' 39 BALTIMORE, MD. Compliments of Rabbi Mrs. IN LOVING MEMORY JACOB HANDLER OF GLENS FALLS, N. Y. l arrg i ' aghb COMPLIMENTS OF RABBI AND MRS. CHARLES M. BATT HARTFORD, CONN. One hundred ix CompllmGnIs of LAWRENCE MILLER B. S., OPT. D. OPTOMETRIST 657 WEST 181 si STREET Compliments of MR. MRS. L KATZ 52 FOREST PARK AVENUE SPRINGFIELD, MASS. Compliments of A. A. RUDNICK. INC. 345 WEST 13th STREET NEW YORK CITY 9 9 9 REAL KOSHER SAUSAGE CO. 15 RIVINGTON STREET NEW YORK CITY Tel. AL. 4-5995 For Hoallh 6 Rocrocillon Mod«ral Rotra SECOND AVENUE BATHS The Largest and Most Moclvm RUSSIAN - BATHS - TURKISH With Hotel Accommodations SECOND AVE. cor. nRST ST. NEW YORK CITY Tr,l. AL, 4.9niR PARAMOUNT CATERERS Nev Yoric 3 For moBi Caterers At All Leaoinq Hotels, Homes and at Our Beautiful Ballrooms 601 WEST 183rd STREET NEW YORK WAsh. Hts. 7-3780-1 Compliments of MORTON J. HILDMAN c o PEOPLES BANK SAVI. -GS CO. CINCINNATI. OHIO Compliments of Mr. and Mrs. LEONARD WALDMAN and Family One hundred teren RABBI JEROME WILLIG ' hone PEnnsylvanla 6-9022 38 FRIEDMAN ZEILENGOLD S. H. GLAZER BROS. Manufacturing FURRIERS HOUSE SUPPLIES 546 HOWARD AVENUE BROOKLYN, N. Y. 143-145 WEST 29th STREET NEW YORK LESTER LEVI, Rep. CHANDROS ' ELECTRIC CONTRACTOR 5613 FIFTH AVENUE BROOKLYN, N. Y. HOTEL WOODLAND SARATOGA SPRINGS, N. Y. A. RESNIK Compliments of REAL ESTATE 186 REMSEN STREET MEYER BAUER BROOKLYN, N. Y. MR. SOL BRESSLER ISRAEL NOBLE ' 39 LOU RUDIN IN LOVING MEMORY SELMA L. STAHL OF SEYMOUR KRUTMAN ' 41 DR. HYMAN I. FALK BEATRICE FRANCES BELL FERTIG ' S POULTRY MARKET KAUFMAN ' S HATS Greetings from The Yeshiva College Ladies ' Auxiliary . . . of . . . EASTERN PARKWAY MRS. ANNA COHEN KLEIN, Pres. One hundred eight Compliments of HARRY FISHEL 276 FIFTH AVENUE NFV YORK CTY Itnitrriiitij SCHOOL of LAW Approved by American Bar Association Compliments of . . . VARSITY PENNANT CO. Ma-u ' ' .-u ' c---. ■ Emblems, Processed Trim Stilrts, Sweat Stiirti. Sticlters. Etc., for Schools, Clubs. Camps, Etc. 56 EAST nth ST. NEW YORK SRamercy 3-1207 Two year morning and three year evening courses leading to degree LL.B. Compliments c . . . M. FINKELSTEIN SONS HARTFORD. CONN. Established (898 Students admitted June, September and February SUMMER SESSION BEGINS JUNE 3 FALL TERM BEGINS SEPTEMBER 23 96 SCHERMERHORN STREET BROOKLYN, N. Y. Compliments of RABBI M. SHAPIRO ATLANTIC CITY. N. J. Esfablishea 1854 H. TARR, Inc. 607 FIFTH AVE. MEW YORK CITY at 49th St. - PLaia 3-0651 Studio nearest to School 1395 ST. NICHOLAS AVE. at 180th St. - WAdsworth 3-0923 Official Photographer of the M A S M i P One hundred nine Compliments of MENDEL GOTTESMAN NEW YORK CITY Wfllker 5-1090 Dan Krainman, Rep. COMPLIMENTS Rvnn LUCK Our P.nUrS 480 CnNflL STREET NEW YORK CITY BLOCH PUBLISHING CO. The Jewish Book Concer 31 WEST 31st ST. NEW YORK CITY MODERN PHOTO LABORATORIES 71 WEST 45th STREET NEW YORK CITY 35 mm film developed and enlarged to S ' A x 4I 2 . . . $1.10 Telephone ORckard 4-3766 Engravers For The 1942 C asmid NIRSKY ART mu m CO. COMMERCIAL ARTISTS 203 BROOME STREET KTEW YORK CITY One hundred ten rOMPIJMF.NTK r)F MR. AND MRS. BERNARD SHARP AND SON LONG BEACH, M. Y. Phone: GRainercy 7-3904 WALDMAN KELLNER Pants Matching and Sportwear 97 EAST HOUSTON STREET NEW YORK CITY Compliments oi JOE SALWEN PAPER CO. 405 EAST 4th STREET NEW YORK CITY S. J. SALWEN CompJimenls oi GENERAL BLADE CO. 5 WEST 22nd STREET NEW YORK, N. Y. THINFLEX - DUBLEKEEN The Recommended Blades $2.50 per Hundred One hundred elertn L ODiplilHt ' llh of MOSES I. FEUERSTEIN ' 36 QS ' Compliments of Compliments of FISCHER BROTHERS MRS. S. BENDHEIM BROOKLYN, N. Y. NEW YORK CITY One hundred twette GROSSINGER S FROM THE AIR AN AERIAL VIEW OF ONE OF AMERICA ' S MOST INTERESTING VACATION PLAYGROUNDS 71 OW more than ever, glorious days at Srossinger ' s are Important to us. The zesfful sport, the rest and .... relaxation, the company of delightful people .... all these send us back to town with new energy and new enthusiasm for the vital tasks we all face. Take time now for precious hours in this great resort. Give yourself the chance to enjoy its genuine wholesomeness. Become a part of its friendliness and gaiety. Plunge into the enchanting whirl of its activities. Find out for yourself why Grossinger ' s has become a great tradition. Let Us Tell You All About It NEW YORK OFFICE 221 WEST 57th STREET Circle 7-7888 THE GROSSINGER HOTEL AND COUNTRY CLUB • FERNDALE, N. Y. OPEN ALL YEAR One hundred thirteen Compliments of . . . . . . Your Optician . . . MORTON W. SMITH COMPANY 5 COLUMBUS CIRCLE, NEW YORK, N. Y. Room 103 At 59th Street KESTENBAUM BROS. Compliments of Importers Exporters of Fur A FRIEND 243 WEST 30th STREET NEW YORK, N. Y. Compliments of Compliments of ASHER BORETZ. INC. MILTON LEVY COATED TEXTILES 900 BROADWAY ELIZABETH, N. J. NEW YORK CITY Compliments of Phone: COIumbus 5-9068 DR. MRS. L. SPATS 145 SEAMAN AVENUE NEW YORK CITY One hundred fourteen Laboratory Apparatus and Supplies for the CHEMICAL, BACTERIOLOGICAL and BIOLOGICAL LABORATORIES STUDENT DISSECTING KITS and SUPPLIES STANDARD SCIENTIFIC SUPPLY CORP. 34-38 WEST FOURTH STREET New York City Complimonti of . . . KRANT2LER BROHER FAMILIES C ' cmplimenis • ; 93rd STREET LIVE POULTRY CO., Inc. 413 EAST 93rd ST. NEW YORK CJTf Compliments - JACK LEVENSON Clothier 405 STONE AVENUE BROOKLYN. N. Y. Compliments of A FRIEND Compliments of . . . JACOB A. RIVELES Compliments of HARRY BLATT A. HERBSTMAN JEWELER 315 SARATOGA AVENUE BROOKLYN, N. Y. SCHINDLER - NIMTZOWITZ Corp. Fur Merchants 216 WEST 29th STREET New York City One hundred fifteen Compliments of MR. MRS. HYMAN SOKOLOW COLCHESTER, CONN. HISTORY OF JEWISH EDUCATION FROM 515 B.C.E. Johns Hopkins Press, Second Printing $2.50 DR. NATHAN DRAZIN 3326 Auchentoroly Terr. Baltimore, Maryland Compliments of RABBI HERSCHEL SCHACHTER STAMFORD, CONN. Compliments of BERMAN FEINERMAN NEW YORK CITY Phone 1350 Saratoga Springs HOTEL BRENNER, Inc. Saratoga Springs, N. Y. ELEVATOR SERVICE Compliments of RABBI JACOB COHEN JEWISH CENTER Spring Valley, N. Y. SUPPLY MFG. CO. 24 UNIVERSITY PL NEW YORK CITY One hundred sixteen m v %