'v..1- 1 - nr, Glvntral Before I continue with my story, I must inter- polate one interesting episode. There lived in those days a most attractive woman, by the name of Yehuditson. She was very talented in art and heart, and her pictures had won her fame throughout the world, indeed, the critics called her pictures out of this world. Now, this talented Yehuditson not only loved Jewish art, but she also had a jewish heart! And so, she wanted very much to help her jewish peo- ple. Thus, it came about that whenever she had a free period she would go into the Assyrian army camp-for she was very friendly with an important general there. It is doubtful whether she captivated him with her art or her heart. In fact, many believe that it was something else entirely. One night, the Assyrian general threw a big party, and naturally Yehuditson invited herself. She was the life of the party, because she ALWAYS made everyone laugh! As usual, she came with her basket of paintings. XVell, after the guests had all left, Yehuditson remained alone with the drunken general. Seizing the opportunity, she bravely chopped off the generals head and wrapped it in oilcloth. And then, of course, she put it in her basket. She was awarded the Knobel Peace Prize for her artistic decapitation. However, she refused the money for herself, and instead put it in the YJAA Trust Fund. The initials? Yes, you guessed it: Yehudit- son's Jewish Art Appreciation Fund. And now, back to our story .... The fighting between Fuldayohu Righteous and Antiyochus 'lRight continued. And then, a number of misfortunes betook this illustrious family. Shimon HaRubeli was killed by a couple of cheats he had antagonized. Elozor HaHoh'mani became paralyzed from all his sitting. Yonoson HaKamberi's heart stopped beating when his clocks stopped ticking. But Yochonon HaLichtensteini, though, kept right on smiling, trusting in the good L-rd. However, Yehudoh HaDardaki kept right on battling heroically together with his father, until the war was finally won. He managed to capture I O vatvrhag by FRAN GALLER all the fortified places-and the souls of the Meyd- lach were saved. However, he wasn't satisfied be- cause the WWPDTI 111: was still in the enemy's control. And so, he told his comrades: We must now capture the Temple, clean it up, and light the Tl'1 1 JD to render thanks unto UWT! that we have been granted victoryf' However, his followers could not enter the Temple grounds because of the foul fumes that filled the air. But, since Yehudoh HaDardaki had developed an immunity to this condition in Meydlach-town, he ventured into it. But, alas, although he was up to his nose in open bottles of oil, he could not locate even one bottle that was left untouched by the enemy. And then, lo and behold, a cry was heard from the laboratory: Hey, get a load of this! I think I've got it!. By George, I've got it-a jug of oil in the microscope closet which has not been touched by human hands! ln fact, it's still in the box, and the seal hasn't been broken! Well, you can imagine the joy, when the oil burned not only for five school days, but also for the whole weekend. That was truly a miracle. But, when Fuldayohu saw that the Temple was completely demolished, he proclaimed: We need another miracle-a new Temple. And,'f1!-'U DK Ubfl -and weather permitting-our new sacred building will no longer be a miracle-just a mirage ! And all the people yelled and cheered, and there was a riot in the subterranean clucker-room, and then, rising above the shouts, Fuldayohu an- nounced loudly: I now proclaim the first two periods of tomorrow, Monday, November 30th, as a sacred time set aside for sleeping off our troubles. And furthermore, to commemorate this significant episode of our history, it is hereby decreed that Friday, December 4th, and Monday, December 7th, shall be national holidays to celebrate the two most significant events in jewish history: TID1 Jl I and Pearl Harbor! And so, with this good news, our miraculous story of 531 JI1 comes to a happy end! V ... . -ff. - '-ana--' . ' - - ' . ,Ti , fl 'F. c,- ? Iggy JJ K k a x..,k .v ixf 'x 'xx 'TTS -ai ci' '-Q , '- '5 .WN X S Q op! vi' , R .-,,i QR-, fag., Ft . 'S it 4-P- 2-. , O K J his . 5. x 31 A 1 'Hx' . ,,,.' 2 . 2 . .4 17
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