Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (New York, NY)

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11 b lim Z ffmexfs :1 f 91--rr fi' XLLWVT U ' 11 tzbawi Wfmil, O X 497W - +7-L 1 5 V' ' ' 1X+lqywiZL 9, iqQ+P'l O Qgfovorv Q54 4 0 XJ D 1 ,U- uf' Nfl 0 T Q 1 2 I 72 4 o KN SCH T-Olilf, , at f 9 Bi 4 GA A ' ASE ' ' 9 NW -ty - -., ER 1 -Do NOT I 1 1 1 1 1 l wrong. There, in the middle of the class, are sitting l H t real, live-no! I just canlt bring myself to say it. kr V I absolutely refuse. But then, I suppose in the 6 X tk ,Q interests of good reportage, I must reveal all. Brace -, l I yourselves. ln the middle of the class there are ff' if girlsl Yes I know it's shocking. but facts are facts. Actual females sitting blushingly in a classroom while ogling boys gape stupidly. And here we've been telling generations of YUHS boys that girls are merely a figment of an evil imagination. When the shocked alumni turned to lVlr. Abrams for an explanation. he squirms uncomfortably. and points mutely to the sign on the wall. Yeshiva Co-Edu- cational Experimental Control Station-M. Cordon and J. Weiss Administrative supervisors. This is purely in the interest of science , Mr. Abrams explains. The alumni grumbled uneasily and threaten to write to their Congressmen. Senator Weisel promises Prompt Congressional attention, Gentlemen. He then starts making more promises but is interrupted by a sudden gust of wind. What the heck is-l' Mr, Lichtenberg is teaching Geometry using his hankerchief to draw circles. explains Mr. Abrams, G'Sometimes he gets very enthusiastic. Yes, there he is, Uncle Joe Lichty, first cousin to Father Time. Mr. Lichtenberg is a areal math teacherl' and he is also quitef'sincere,' so don't laugh when he makes funny declarations or adds incorrectly. When he is in his study at home. and there are no Hounds after him, J. J. Lichtenberg is a great. precision-like machine. The alumni sneak into the room and listen. It's hard because it's impossible. itls wrong, Illl show you why it's wrong but it's rightf' he says in one breath. This leaves his students slightly bewildered but this is due only to the fact that they are not real', math students. The bell rings mercifully at that moment. The alumni emerge into the hall. A swarm of locusts, sometimes called Freshmen. buzzes angrily fl ' H1 . 11 1Il 1 1 lj '1 '1 1'1ll 1 1 l,1l1 111,91 ,l 11, 1'1f 111, 11111 . ll JF1 1 I 1 I l 1 1 l l 1 l 1 11, 1 X. 1 N 11-X1 pp X l 11 R l l 1 JJ' 1 l'1 I l1l ll1 .11 1 l N11 1 WI, 1 1 I1 X till l 1 ' 11 , 'l , 1 1 11 1 1 1 W 1 1 1, . 1 l1l'l 1 1 iq 11A 1 11 1 l l1g l th fx 1, 1 1 1 ' 1l ' ' ' l 1 11 1 11 1 . . 11 l1 1 1 E1 Y, N 11 1 ll 1 11 1- .1 ,.1 It ,pl lf1l'1fflfll11 13 f fllxllx Mir f ll- gy CRAQK7' lj' 1 l l 7 flilllfllaqf 1l 1,1 ill 1 1V ' l1l I QVll,1f! K j11l1lMll1l11l 11 U lv111l T 1lllf1l'l W lll l 1111'l1lE1,111 1 tk 1 I fill l1l'1b'lix XXX wl lf xii

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Ray Felix. Mr. Jacobson is an eminent authority on hair styles since he is a practicing barber. Before the next speaker begins, a small man in an usher's uniform rushes up to the podium, whips out a cloth from his pocket and dusts it off. 'AYou see, he explains to the audience, NI had so much practice dusting the Rebbe's seat that I became a movie attendant at night and a Gemorah student by day. The audience applauds, Mr. Packter bows, and returns to his seat. The second speaker is Charles Thaler. He says c'Hello,' and sits down. This is the longest speech he has ever made. As the next speaker rises, one notices an unusually colorful object on his head. It is supposedly a Yarmulka but somehow, it depicts scenes from Chinese rural life. Rabbi Joseph Feinstein reports briefly that he MBecame a disciple of the great, Holy Chinese Rabbi and leader, Manny Fu. Gitel- man pulls out a revolver and, smiling calmly, shoots at Feinstein, narrowly missing his heart. The last speaker is Dr. Julius Zelmanowitz. M. D., Ph. D., D. Sc. He reports briefly on What YUHS's Science Department has done for mef, The gist of his speech suggests that it has done nothing. MENDEL LIBRARY GOTTESMAN fTO-QQQXJCH R13 a xsmi N5 Sars ,ue ntso 1-mvs BOOKS 0 A fl X NOT LOININ Flsfsf lovin 59? D., ll Y Joi. DONT i fa E M our 4' Gum GTJEREGO P e 69 x ocfbq. Joe DoN'T P0 Q0 6 I-lf' fvouo 6' Jos Nfl? EBSQQY-QQ 7 Tn' WHfq.., H O 000 0 OC?wOALc,Y,. JOE.. The assemblage then proceeds upstairs. Several people are frightened by sounds of a dog and cat fighting. But it is only Jason Alpert, head of the A.S.P.C.A. and designer of the Greyhound Scenic Cruiser. He grins rather insanely and joins his comrades in their tour of the classrooms. A smell of sweet pipe smoke seeps through the doors of one of the rooms. The alumni peer in and see the great Greitzer holding court. His humble subjects listen wonderingly as he pours forth the non-essen- tials of Group Theory. Suddenly, a gurgle, a snap and a click are heard. They seemed to be coming from the next room. The alumni recognize the golden tones of Dr. Shapiro, but where is the venerable sage? Upon investigation, it is revealed that '4Doke has been replaced by a tape recorder. He is now writing an essay entitled Wllhe Evils of Automation or How I Lost My Job. Passing by the Gottesman Library, one notices that a drastic change seems to have taken place. A teacher is lecturing a class-but something is

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I mastiff- , vell, it's to be being a question . . . It requires a little thought . . vell, uh, uh, eh . . . about in the halls. Big Seniors, Service Squad ter- rorists, threaten them menacingly but with little effect. At long last the bell rings, bringing peace once more to the halls. Only one strident voice is heard accompanied by the husky laughter of young males. Professor Rabbi Dr. Yechiel Grossman is trying to teach. This man is one of the greatest geniuses in the world-for verification of this state- ment, ask him. He is a great philosopher who went to the f'New School For Social Reesoichn where he was seen frequently with Mrs, Roooseveltff He once declared that 'fl have read everything concern- ing Jewish Philosophyf, In addition he claims that at the age of three he knew Babba Metzia, Babba Basra, and Babba Kama by heart. Perhaps that is why everybody in the Yerushalaym to be knowing Yechial Grossman. Yigee seems to be threatening one of the students, You vill hef to be get out of the Hinstitutionff Why,7' mutters Bernie Horo- witz, '4That's exactly what he used to tell mef, After a ten minute period of general confusion, riot, and melee, the Yig persuades his students to start learn- ing. When a student can't seem to understand the Gemara Rabbi Grossman remarks, You are behind your intelligence and you asked something but you don't know what you asked so l'll tell you what you asked. Now, perhaps something is you want to bave?,' Upon hearing this ,lay Eisenstat, profes- sional comedian, throws up his hands in despair and says 'Tm getting a thousand a week at the Copa, but this guy could pack Yankee Stadium for ten years straight and still keep 'em laughing night after nightf, .lay walks away, sobbing softly. He is A g? ,..- I saw it in Ulm of de reshonim . . V .rn-atm? F V f 'f,, .Q ..lt ah, makos-daf yood-tes amoo d'alef . . . pliss, no applausement!