Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (New York, NY)

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7 - 1 sl lltllllllllllllllllllllllllttllffxl ' 1 t X G A L Pt ON if A K y new l . . 5 gl 37,70 Lf HS JQ ' X Y Y Y IL X 4 .- , . X x i 5 23.92 WN A- KW il li X 1 :M .ony VW gg i Q K 4024 v'o's'o4 l FAM E f ' s 55 ss: mi -- new 5 t 2 A SX am mm : me ty y ,iq , ,c s - . z Q i T . by Q K' he - i' M l The people are beginning to file in now. The Lamport Auditorium is slowly beginning to fill up. The crowd is moving very slowly since people are stopping to greet one another. A portly gentleman in a Homburg hat is proceeding down the aisle. shaking hands with almost everyone in range. He is dressed in a dark suit with a white carnation in his lapel, and a malacca walking stick gripped firmly in his hand. He ascends the steps to the stage and clears his throat. Gentlernen.,, he says pompously. 'L l have the honor and the privilege to introduce to you. the Registrar of our Alma Mater. Mr. Norman B. Abrams. A round of ap- plause follows. the honorable Senator Weisel de- scends heavily from the platform. and a short, slight, dignified man walks up to the microphone. l am very glad to greet you here today. As you probably can guess. this is the largest class re- union in the history of the Yeshiva bniversity High Schoolfl This declaration is greeted with mirth and loud cheering. awe have planned a wonderful day for you and l amlsure you will enjoy yourselves. And now without further ado. let us proceed to the main part of the program. Senator Veezel, will you please come up here and act as master of cere- monies. Once again the great personage ascends the steps. The program will open with the singing of the Hatilrra first and the Star Spangled Banner following. in accordance with the latest edict from Washington. Following that. gentlemen. we will sing the Alma Mater. During the singing of the 'Hatikraf Weiss. Oustatcher. and Rothkoff, who have come in by raft from lsrael tweiss was too cheap to spend carfarei, stand stiffly to attention and a fanatic gleam emanates from behind their eyeglasses. They are noticeably silent during the singing of the American Anthem. The Alma Mater is gotten through by glancing at faded. crumbling green cards which some members of the class of 1958 have preserved in cold storage. At the com- pletion of the song. Rabbi Howard Zuckerman, who is also the President of the New York Stock Ex- change. delivers the invocation in a sainlly, Holy Joev voice. Then comes a long string of speeches by illustrious alumni. Howard Jacobson. honorary President of the NAACP. delivers a long talk on The Relation Be- tween the Hair Styles of the Romans and that of

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After three years of blood, sweat, and tears, studying day and night, ever working, we finally attained that level in our education where we were able through a fourth year of blood, sweat and tears, ever writing, cutting, working, to design a page which reads . . . ,kg Q.,- Y 5 k ' 'T' 4: , -5 , ?' Q .t,, to .,-ce fc 4- if ,,,., iii' I R X N

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Ray Felix. Mr. Jacobson is an eminent authority on hair styles since he is a practicing barber. Before the next speaker begins, a small man in an usher's uniform rushes up to the podium, whips out a cloth from his pocket and dusts it off. 'AYou see, he explains to the audience, NI had so much practice dusting the Rebbe's seat that I became a movie attendant at night and a Gemorah student by day. The audience applauds, Mr. Packter bows, and returns to his seat. The second speaker is Charles Thaler. He says c'Hello,' and sits down. This is the longest speech he has ever made. As the next speaker rises, one notices an unusually colorful object on his head. It is supposedly a Yarmulka but somehow, it depicts scenes from Chinese rural life. Rabbi Joseph Feinstein reports briefly that he MBecame a disciple of the great, Holy Chinese Rabbi and leader, Manny Fu. Gitel- man pulls out a revolver and, smiling calmly, shoots at Feinstein, narrowly missing his heart. The last speaker is Dr. Julius Zelmanowitz. M. D., Ph. D., D. Sc. He reports briefly on What YUHS's Science Department has done for mef, The gist of his speech suggests that it has done nothing. MENDEL LIBRARY GOTTESMAN fTO-QQQXJCH R13 a xsmi N5 Sars ,ue ntso 1-mvs BOOKS 0 A fl X NOT LOININ Flsfsf lovin 59? D., ll Y Joi. DONT i fa E M our 4' Gum GTJEREGO P e 69 x ocfbq. Joe DoN'T P0 Q0 6 I-lf' fvouo 6' Jos Nfl? EBSQQY-QQ 7 Tn' WHfq.., H O 000 0 OC?wOALc,Y,. JOE.. The assemblage then proceeds upstairs. Several people are frightened by sounds of a dog and cat fighting. But it is only Jason Alpert, head of the A.S.P.C.A. and designer of the Greyhound Scenic Cruiser. He grins rather insanely and joins his comrades in their tour of the classrooms. A smell of sweet pipe smoke seeps through the doors of one of the rooms. The alumni peer in and see the great Greitzer holding court. His humble subjects listen wonderingly as he pours forth the non-essen- tials of Group Theory. Suddenly, a gurgle, a snap and a click are heard. They seemed to be coming from the next room. The alumni recognize the golden tones of Dr. Shapiro, but where is the venerable sage? Upon investigation, it is revealed that '4Doke has been replaced by a tape recorder. He is now writing an essay entitled Wllhe Evils of Automation or How I Lost My Job. Passing by the Gottesman Library, one notices that a drastic change seems to have taken place. A teacher is lecturing a class-but something is