Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (New York, NY)

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Mr. Lichtenberg: I was just figuring out another proof for the complex determinate theory of imaginary inter- mingled figures. Does anyone have a handkerchief? Mr. Abrams: Yes, but what about their behavior? Mr. Lichtenberg: Vell, I'll tell you brudder, dere fine fellows but they fritter away too much time. Mr. Abrams: Cwith a cynical smile upon his facej Aren't you getting your lines mixed up? Mr. Lichtenberg: So solly. Happen again it won't. Mr. Abrams: Get out! Dr. Shapiro: Well, Mitah, you are now the happy father of a big bouncing baby MU. Mr. Lichtenberg: Mr. Greitzer, will you take a look at my proof? Mr. Greitzer: Well, it looks right but you know I don't make these things up. They are all in the book. CThere is a sudden silence in the room. From olf- stage comes the sound of falling rain. In panic Mr. Leibel jumps up and begins to shout hysterically.J Mr. Leibel: Theyire here, they're taking over. I told you and now it's come. I don't want to be taken over. Greer has everything else. Can't he leave me alone? CHe begins to laugh and gesticulate wildly. Mr. Frankel slowly rises and calmly straps Mr. Leibel down in his chair.J -e: X .3 ,ra 9 ,,e fl XS Mr. Frankel: Nothing to be alarmed about. I've seen it happen time and again. It hits the English teachers worst. Oscar was one of the first. Mr. Horn: tRises and replaces tooth in mouth with right hand while withdrawing left pinky from nose with the other. Walks to the window and opens itj. Here. take him upstairs in the Chinese elevator. tStill strapped to the chair. Mr. Leibel is carried out. From offstage the sound of machinery can be heard and a high sing song Chinese voice asks: What iioor. please?'l The teachers sit quietly. Mr. Gendell nerv- ously wipes his forehead and looks out at the falling rain. Mr. Abrams' tLooking quickly at his watch. He is obviously shaken by Mr. Leibel's breakdownj Well. I think that the best thing is that we all retire till tomor- row. tHe rises and slowly starts toward the door. Half- way there. he can no longer restrain himself and dashes wildly out. ln a moment all the teachers are on their feet. Amid wild shouting and struggling to leave. the lights dim and go out, eCo-v-44' .BWA ,Wi

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Mr. Abrams: fshockedl Mr. Leibel, control yourself or you will have to go home and listen to the raindrops with your parents. fFoaming slightly at the mouth Mr. Leibel giggles softly and continues mumbling pitter patter, finally subsiding and burying head in hands.J Rabbi Siev: tplaces a small paw comfortingly around Mr. Leibel's shoulderj I know what they can do. I too have noticed their negative attitudes and arrogant supercilious smiles. But they will not go unpunished. Arrogant smiles will fail along with negative attitudes and cynical smiles. On the other hand the supercilious smiles may pass if they can bring a piska from the lishka. Mr. Abrams: Very good, Rabbi Siev, but what will you do with the giggiersv You know I don't iike gigglers. Rabbi Weinbach: Send them home with the mumblers. Mr. Schain: Uh . . . uh . . . Mr. Abrams, I would just like to say that they are the worst class I have ever had. When I told them about how the cute little bluebirds ily over the pretty pink flowers and take some of the golden powder and fly up into the air with it, they laughed at me. Seventy-two years of telling the same story and they laughed. CTurns away to hide tears flowing down cheeky Mr. Abrams: That is a very serious matter. tlust then the door opens and an old man enters, wearing a battered brown hat and clutching a wrinkled copy of the New York Times? Mr. Abrams: Your name iss . . . Old Man: B-b-buzzy!!! D-d-did an-n-nyone see my lamp? I-I-I don't know w-w-what happened to it. P-p-pranks they p-play on me. Mr. Abrams: We will look for it! Old Man: M-hm! tl-Ie grips paper more tightly, turns and leaves roomy Mr. Leibel: Did anyone hear my latest joke? Manis- chewitz and Christian Bros. are combining into Man- eshegitz . . . fasideh Ch, Leibel, you're a good one. CChuck1es softly to himself and then stops as if listen- ing.j The raindrops, they're back. Mr. Grossman: Last night Cblinkj I totaled up all the zeroes tblinkl that this class got tblinkl. 18,957. That includes the three double or nothings Cblink, blinkj. Mr. Breinan: tHe raps on table with ball point pen- tap . . . tap . . . tapj Speak up. Mr. Abrams: Mr. Lichtenberg, you haven't said any- thing!

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SCENE Two CThe curtain is drawn but the stage is dark as the audience enter and take their seats. The house lights slowly fade and in the dim light of the stage a number of men in white uniforms can be seen cleaning a padded cell. An inmate in a strait jacket lies on a cot in a corner. The scene holds a few minutes and then the stage goes black. When the lights go on again the stage is set as in the first scene. OIT to one side a short chubby man sits on a crate. He is vigorously polishing a shrunken head with white polish from a soda bottle at his feet. The teachers are arranged in little groups, some standing, some sitting. Mr. Leibel is strapped to a bench olf to one side. He looks calm and has an air of injured dignity about him. Mr. Abrams rises and standing on the table calls the meeting to order. Mr. Abrams: Gentlemen, will you please quiet down? I will have to send you all home to be recivilized! Yes- terday I asked you if we could let these students gog today, after seeing what has happened at our last meet- ing I ask if we can afford not to. Rabbi Bernstein: Before this goes any further I want to say that I quit! I don't get paid enough, I'm not happy, my wife nags me. I never should have gotten married. Dr. Brayer: fgrinning happilyb I'm happy. My son Yigal kisses all the mizusses. Dr. Reguer: My son plays basketball. Mr. Breinan: Egbert is a pony express rider. Mr. Gootchstein: And my son already knows how to make an effess-and he's only nine years old. Mr. Abrams: Yes, that's all very nice. Now to come back. CA low murmuring begins at this point and con- tinues till the end of the play. There is a tenseness in the air and the teachers move about restlessly, looking out the window and at their watches.J Mr. Fried: flying on the floor cutting out paper dolls? I've just returned from my trip to France. You know the bus system there is so wonderful. A bus pulls up and all the people line up and . . . 4 Q .fa all ga V o K L L 535.4 JP A ,gl . EEL Vt lzfgff ? K ' K-film!! jlllfdl 4 ,X if ta 14 X. D ff-Z5 2...-25: