Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (New York, NY)

Page 24 text:

A VERY ERIDUS TTER A One Act Play SCENE ONE tThe curtain is drawn but the stage is dark as the audience enter and take their seats. The house lights dim and the stage lights reveal an old man bent over a table wearing a battered brown hat. He is reading a wrinkled copy of the New York Times by the light of a desk lamp. Under the desk his toe can be seen soak- ing in a pail of water. From off stage the pitter patter of racing rats is heard. As the house lights go out he slowly turns toward the audience. marking his place in the paper with his l'inger.j Old Man: M-hm. my name is Buzzy. l've been here a long time, longer than most people think. A very long time, just sitting and reading my paper. That's all I do, read and listen to the rats. tpauses for a moment and indicates sound from off stage.J But my job is not to talk about myself . . . it's them. They're in trouble this year. I knew they would be. They always are. But it's worse now and it serves them right because of all the pranks they play on me. tHe lightly caresses the battered desk lamp and once again becomes absorbed in the Times.D Voice: tfrom offstagel M-hm tagain-louderj M-hm. Old Man: Oh, yes. You want to know about them. I don't have any time to tell you myself. I have to finish my paper, but you can lind out about it at the confer- ence . . . tHe turns back to his paper. and the stage lights slowly dim and finally black out.J tThe theatre is black for a moment and from off- stage the mating call of a buzzard is heard. When the lights go on again. they reveal a medium sized room. Thirty odd men are seated around a table to the right of center. At the center of the stage a black cat sleeps on a wrinkled copy of the New York Times. High to one side two bird houses are mounted on the wall. Hrrrflff ,xt K 58 rf ex f lip' f '.f, flxx , X lznpwn 1973 If t N JPLPAL X.-I f 11. Xe A L4 ,, X. lialht A-1 4, Vfze 'T' U 'Lil They are occupied by a family of buzzards. The walls of the room are decorated by old maps. Marilyn Mon- roe calendars. and shrunken heads. A small man seated upon two telephone books bangs his fist on the table. Confused. the men look around. and there is a haggard, disheveled air about them.J Voices: Vat's dat? . . . M-hm . . . Speak Up . . . tap tap . . . Mr. Abrams: Members of the faculty, I have called you all together at this special teachers' conference to discuss a very serious matter. At present there are in this institution 71 seniors. They have been here for four years. and now they want to get out. The question re- mains-can we let them go? We will decide this serious matter in a democratic manner. You all will discuss the pros and cons and then as we always do in these cases-I will decide. Dr. Brayer, what do you think? Dr. Brayer: They're all fine fellows. Augenbraun-fine . . . Baer . . . Bell . . . Brunswick-all right . . . Freund

Page 23 text:

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If ' 'f'-5 N X 1 I ff I 1-L-I-'ix T ' ,v TA: j1lD'X1 SAI-7 ll Efurxmm ' X lklif . 1 +-vt' l' t. gf-,- , Xi ...Helfgott-good. There are plenty of things they don't supposed to do what they do do, but they do do what they supposed to do. On the whole they are . . . fine. Mr. Abrams: Fine. ls there anything anyone else has to add or can I pronounce sentence now? tHe looks around table while grinning fiendishlyj Mr. Unger: Well, according to my billiard ball theory Csee Turner's History of the T. A. Student Chap. 8-1 IJ they are as good as any students in any normal school. Mr. Abrams: But Mr. Unger, T.A. is a normal school. Mr. Unger: I know, Mr. Abrams. I didn't mean it that way, heh heh. flooks around and nervously grips Brooks Bros. label on his chinosj. Dr. Reguer: I don't think you should throw them out. They are my best students-Davis . . . Kissenevits . . . Lieberman . . . Mr. Abrams: Greer . . . Matkowsky . . . Dr. Reguer: Greer . . . Metkufsky . . . where . . . I'll trow them out. Mr. Greitzer: CPuff, Puffj Well, I think that we should graduate all those students with Cpulfj I or less let- ters in their second name. CAsideJ I'll get even with Brettschneider for making me write his name on the attendance list so often . . . Cpuff, pulfl Q Just then the cat rises, stretches, and slinking along the wall, passes behind Mr. Leibel's chair. Mr. Leibel realizing what is happening, shoots his chair back- wards, but he is too late and the cat scampers across the room. With a wild look on his face Mr. Leibel staggers to his feet.J Mr. Leibel: CIn a broken voicej My first miss in twenty years. I'm ruined . . . ruined. Csits down and stares crazily at the shrunken heads on the wall. The assembled faculty sits spellbound. Mr. Leibel then looks carefully behind him and leaning forward, begins to talk in a low whisperj. I'l1 tell you something I wouldnft tell anyone else. It's about the raindrops. They're all around us, planning to take over . . . but I've captured some and I have them in a big box. Shh . . . you can listen to them . . , pitter patter . . . pitter patter . . .