Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (New York, NY)

Page 30 text:

A colossal 3 gazes brazenly down aT us. Our ranks are swelled by a wild horde from The swamps of Brook- lyn. A sTalwarT young buck, Kramer by name, of said horde Tries To buck our building, and geTs The worsT of The argumenT wiTh Three broken ribs. Young horde Tries vainly To perform a coup d'eTaT lplus much shouTing, mud slinging, nominaTions, obiecTions, accepfances, declina- Tions, refusals eTc. eTc.l Cohen and Karp of The Old Guard reTain leadership. Undaunfed by The oufcome of The firsT squabble, They Try again and place Mirsky and l-laimm as secrefary and aThleTic manager respecT- ively. Who-Mr. AsTrachan. Whaf-shoufs, Louder please! When-when he feels like iT. Where-in The English class. How-Through use of his larynx. Why--we sTill don'T know. Mr. Oscar RosenThal, behind a French musfache, wiTh innumer- able charTs, comparaTive rafing Tesfs lwhere passing mark was usually 57 and lowerl Tried hard, buT in vain, To Teach us The difference beTween garcon and fille-as if we didn'T know iT already. Two floors up, second door To The righ+ again. This Time To be amused, amazed, awed. befuddled, and The like by The scienfific dis- courses, inTellecTual discussions, songs. and jokes of Dr. Dlugafz. Dr. D. laddressing an up and coming Mendell-Tell me, Shmeye Leib, where is The sand pipe? S. L.-lwiTh The hopeless look of a Dodger fan, poinTs To his abdomenl-IT should be some place around here. Dr. D.-IT should! PK Pk FF FK K An angelic chorus is genTly swinging. Youre a four. The Old Guard-Those frosT-biTTen reacTionaries, remain all-pow- erful wiTh Karp and Gellman a-Tap. We are delving info ancienf hisTory books on Ancienf l-lisTory, un- der The TuTelage of Mr. lhere's hopes for a Ph.D.l Jacob l. l-larTsTein, who has since deparfed for happier hunfing grounds. Buf his l'm always one ahead of you! lingers in our memory. NOT To forgef a cerTain hisTory exam. Ring The bells! TooT The horns! Blow your noses! TwenTy-eighT ELCHANITE

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LUG U13 ELASS UP '38 And iT came To pass ThaT I was comforfably ensconced in a chair in The audiforium, awaiTing my sheepskin, when I realized That my mom- enTs in T. A. were numbered. And a heavy sleep overfook me . . . and I beheld . . . Twenfy-Two eager boys enTering The porTals of a large sTone ed- ifice of Byzanfine archiTecTure. And lo, I find myself one of Them! We are in a classroom and a shorT, sTouT man wiTh heavy glasses. Mr. Rogoff by name, is cross-examining a sTudenT wiTh eiaculafions of copulaTive, spliT inTiniTive, and oTher foreign sounding phrases. A less forTunaTe sTudenT is reciTing wiThouT aid of a book, IT is an AncienT Mariner, and he sToppeTh one of Three . . . Try as I may, I can only counT Ten long faced, sinisTer looking individuals, making use of The exiT of said classroom, WhaT is lefT of us are being enferfained by The incomparable humor of Thaf noTed humorisr Fred Benny Swirsky, abouT whom iT has been rumored, is a Teacher of French. A cerTain Doc Hoffman is busy handing ouT papers for a TesT he is abouT To give. A shouT of 'La Tab- oole is heard, Monsieur Swirsky ThreaTeningly picks up The aforemen- Tioned piece of furniTure, and we, being no fools, pass ouT quiefly from The classroom. We pass four maTh. Teachers on The way, who claim They have come To Teach us. lk if Pk PF wk Led by PresidenT Joseph ElgarT and SecreTary Abraham Karp, we all as one march inTo a large hall marked wiTh an enormous 2. The firsT To welcome us and evenTually charm us, is a former in- maTe of This insTiTuTion, Mr. STrum by name, whose chief hobby was passing ouT marks ThaT never vauITed 80. Ah, buT ThaT was before The aforemenfioned genTleman beheld our physiognomies-and Two of us emerge wiTh The unprecedenTed grades of 82.50. A handsome Adonis greeTed us en francais as we Trod info la salle. We spliT a few infininTives, a few Tongues, and sally forTh from The class of l'homme avec les cheveux magnifiques. Two floors up, second door To The righf, we file in. AwaiT a Teach- er. Presenfly one arrives. l.ighTs a cigareTTe. Explains To us ThaT we are sfudying Biology. Excuses himself. Leaves. We follow suiT. ELCI-IAN ITE TwenTy-seven

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A cerTain sTudenT ll blushl of our class ioined The aImosT legend- ary class of Summa Cum Laude. IAside To I'l. I. lvl.-Three of your cheers, pIease.I Three Torms resembling Sid FursT, Dave Mirsky, and Ezzie Spice- handler are coming. They're carrying someThing. IT looks like .... Yes iT is-The coveTed InTra-mural debaTing championship! Whooppee, Yippee, and Oh Fudge! FirsT Two regenTs. GeomeTry-marks like Tever--They ran so high. French-we saw The TesT-we laughed-The Board of RegenTs laughed-we sTopped-Danny GuTman and a seIecT Tew are sTiII laugh- ing. The aToremenTioned Mr. STrum, now a married man, is so Tame. ThaT he gave a 90 Iwow?I wiThouT even shedding a Tear. Y W 11 ik 1 FIVE -- FIVE - - FIVE... The old order changeTh, yielding place To new. Ivlirsky of The IaTecomers To This noble insTiTuTion eIecTed presidenT oT The class . . . congraTsI Mazol Tov . . . Ivlazol Tov . . . Ivlazol Tov-and Ivlr. RosenThaI geTs himself a wife, The class geTs him a pipe, and The iunkyard a car! A greaT schism is Taking place. I IaIT oT The class is learning how To make CBI-ISINOBIS-IniTrogIycerinl, C I-ISINOZIB ITNTI and oTher playful and harmless compounds. The oTher haIT oT The class is learning how To curse I-IiTIer in his naTive Tongue. LoTkes are Tlying all around. PracTicaIIy all oT 'em are landing on our Delaney cards. They are noT' Those in which we indulge during Chanukah, buT The work of Doc's TrusTy ole pen. My neighbor inTorms me ThaT he noTices quiTe a difference in Doc's marking during a day when The Yanks won-and when They IosT. lk ik ik it II! A bell is being Tolled SIX Times. The old order TurTher changes. A Philadelphian Foo becomes pres- idenT oT The class, and a human sail-boaT The vice-presidenT. Class enTers school poIiTics. John Law Ivlirsky emerges as vice-pres- idenT oT The S. O., George Zeno Cohen secreTary oT same and FursT edifs The Academy News--scarIeT Tever and all. Class sTarTIes school by acquiring undernourished dunce caps Tor oTTiciaI headgear. Johnny Glasser explains. 'They shrunk Trom The waTer ELCHANITE TwenTy-nine