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Page 27 text:
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WINTER, SIDNEY Silenf Sid Winfer is anofher ardenf exponenl of +l'1e charms of maflwemalics. As Presiclenl of flue Mallw Club he is always llwinlcing of new siunfs 'ro lure new members lo ifs meelings. Sid has a pesifive aversion Toward dead cals and we can remember flue lime when Dr. Dlugacz disseclecl a cal in llne Sie oloqy class he lurned pale and, suddenly remembering an engage- menf elsewhere, lei? llue room bur- riedly. El.Cl'lANlTE lwenly live
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Page 29 text:
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LUG U13 ELASS UP '38 And iT came To pass ThaT I was comforfably ensconced in a chair in The audiforium, awaiTing my sheepskin, when I realized That my mom- enTs in T. A. were numbered. And a heavy sleep overfook me . . . and I beheld . . . Twenfy-Two eager boys enTering The porTals of a large sTone ed- ifice of Byzanfine archiTecTure. And lo, I find myself one of Them! We are in a classroom and a shorT, sTouT man wiTh heavy glasses. Mr. Rogoff by name, is cross-examining a sTudenT wiTh eiaculafions of copulaTive, spliT inTiniTive, and oTher foreign sounding phrases. A less forTunaTe sTudenT is reciTing wiThouT aid of a book, IT is an AncienT Mariner, and he sToppeTh one of Three . . . Try as I may, I can only counT Ten long faced, sinisTer looking individuals, making use of The exiT of said classroom, WhaT is lefT of us are being enferfained by The incomparable humor of Thaf noTed humorisr Fred Benny Swirsky, abouT whom iT has been rumored, is a Teacher of French. A cerTain Doc Hoffman is busy handing ouT papers for a TesT he is abouT To give. A shouT of 'La Tab- oole is heard, Monsieur Swirsky ThreaTeningly picks up The aforemen- Tioned piece of furniTure, and we, being no fools, pass ouT quiefly from The classroom. We pass four maTh. Teachers on The way, who claim They have come To Teach us. lk if Pk PF wk Led by PresidenT Joseph ElgarT and SecreTary Abraham Karp, we all as one march inTo a large hall marked wiTh an enormous 2. The firsT To welcome us and evenTually charm us, is a former in- maTe of This insTiTuTion, Mr. STrum by name, whose chief hobby was passing ouT marks ThaT never vauITed 80. Ah, buT ThaT was before The aforemenfioned genTleman beheld our physiognomies-and Two of us emerge wiTh The unprecedenTed grades of 82.50. A handsome Adonis greeTed us en francais as we Trod info la salle. We spliT a few infininTives, a few Tongues, and sally forTh from The class of l'homme avec les cheveux magnifiques. Two floors up, second door To The righf, we file in. AwaiT a Teach- er. Presenfly one arrives. l.ighTs a cigareTTe. Explains To us ThaT we are sfudying Biology. Excuses himself. Leaves. We follow suiT. ELCI-IAN ITE TwenTy-seven
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