Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (New York, NY)

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THE ELCHANITE Mayor Polikoff was puzzled and turned to his brain-trust to seek an answer in their blank faces. He suddenly asked them: What would you suggest in this case, gentlemen? Navyasky, Gellman, Lifshitz, Milians, Fogel, and Burstein answered that they had no idea that there existed any red peril in Squeedunk and yellow peril in Oshkosh. lt was the prolific Colonel Kreitman who piped up and said: Mayor Polikoit, don't you think it would be a good idea to appoint a com- mittee? Polikotf lowered his head as in a pensive mood. He retorted in agreement, victoriously, Yes, Senator Lipschitz, l will appoint a committee of investigation. I hereby appoint Kreitman and Gellman as a committee ot investigation. t - Lipschitz sat down and quieted himself. He sought questions with which he could catch Polikoif in a trap, but his mind was dry of all possible thought, sapped as a rubber tree. His head was bowed and bent, as steel girders broken after a tremendous fire in a dirigible. There suddenly arose from the center of the room Ehrenthal, who addressed his captious words 'to Polikoti. Mayor Polikoff, he cried, l would like to make a point. If your program is as complicated as a spider's web, that you, yourself don't know what it's all about, how do you expect the common people to comprehend your entire program? Immediately Polikott turned to his ever ready Kreitman, who spoke up with the same wise words: Mayor Polikoff, don't you think it would be a good idea to appoint a committee? And at that retort Mayor Polikoff appointed Kreitman and Gellman on a committee to promulgate elucidations of the complicated program.. Polikotf saw that no more questions were being raised, but he saw Lipschitz and Ehrenthal in a perturbed and perplexed condition of mind. Polikoif sat down and the people continued to eat. Band leader Katz stood erect before his Royal Lollipop Band, and with the wave of his hand the band played On the Good Ship Polikofff' The people put down forks and knives and sang merrily with the band. Katz stuck his harmonica between his lips and blew tunes, his body shaking rhythmically, as an eucalyptus tree. ln the midst ot it all Lipschitz rose from his table with the massive Gerber, and he slunk out of the room, like a frightened dog with its tail hanging between slim buttocks. The night came and the ship rolled into the harbor. Many lights in the tall buildings glittered like fire-flies, stable and suspended, as the thought ot a decaying body. On the boat the people were rather cheerful to see America again. Acquaintances that had been made were being ended over glasses ot champagne. Captain Dortman spent much of the last few minutes with '29

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THE ELCHANITE And now, ladies and gentlemen, continued Rabbi Schonfeld, I give you Mayor Polikoff of Woonsocket, who will tell you of the essential features of his recovery program. At the conclusion of his speech you will be able to ask Mayor Polikoff anything you wish. Polikoff rose amidst the cheers and recurrent jeers of the people. He stood boldly and calmly. He was known to be an eloquent speaker, possessing all the vim, vigor, and vitality of an athlete on the gridiron before a football game. His face glowed like that of a daisy. His eyes were shining with fire and heat, appearing as holes in a burning furnace's grating. Ladies and gentlemen, began Mayor Polikoff, I am very happy to speak to you merry people today. I do not wish to burden you with hours of dis- cussion. It would be simple for me to put you gently to slumber with continued filibustering. I will, however, indulge in presenting to you the essential points of my recovery program. in a manner of simplicity. Our program is based solely on popularizing the government, affording an increased democracy. To this end we will allow measures, drawn up by the people, to be considered in the legislature. The monetary system will be socialized, and each family will possess a printing press, for private printing of national currency. The result will be in- flation on a grand scale, and increased foreign trade. Prices will rise, profits will increase, and with this more money can be printed. All our opponents will naturally be silenced in their riotous objections when they will be pre- sented with printing presses. To further our educational system we will build schools and universities throughout the country where education will be received as easily as drinking water from a well. These are a few of the most important points in our recovery plan. The eminent Dr. Iacob I. Hartstein, president of Yeshiva College, has whole- heartedly endorsed my program. Our program is really very detailed and complicated, and I and my brain-trust are often wrapped up for nights in the pages and documents containing our plans. I plan to publish the entire pro- gram soon, and to hand it among the people. I am now ready for questions and discussion. Mayor Polikoff turned to his brain-trust and Kreitman, Navyasky, Gellman, Lifshitz, Milians, Fogel, and Burstein nodded and smiled to him in magnificent acquiescence. The people chattered freely. They turned to Senator Lipschitz and then to Mayor Polikoff and then shrugged their shoulders in obvious doubt and question. Senator Lipschitz arose from his chair and called sternly to the Mayor: Mayor Polikoff, I would like to know what you are going to do about the red peril in Squeedunk, and the yellow peril in Oshkosh? 28'

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THE ELCHANITE Shapiro, and he followed his every step down the gangplank with longing eyes and brooding soul. Freed was preparing for his leaving of the ship. He whistled merry tunes and his heart leaped in bounding joy. The voyage had proven a wonderful one and he had obtained a lengthy interview with Polikoft. As he marched on deck with the satchels swinging from his arrns, he saw no passengers. All was unnecessarily quiet at his end of the ship. Suddenly, at a dark end of the ship, Freed was grabbed from behind, and his eyes popped out as he saw a thin and dirty hand, holding a dagger, drop on hirn with the swiftness of hail drops .... I Continued next year! 30'