Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (New York, NY)

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THE ELCI-IANITE The Captain called to Shapiro and apologized, that he had kept him waiting. The Captain stared at the water, his eyes shining like door knobs. He turned to Shapiro and suddenly suggested: Let us have a light supper together right now. We could have an enjoyable time, really. Shapiro ac- cepted and with affable calmness he went with Captain Dorfman to the latter's cabin. They reached the cabin and entered. The Captain prepared for supper and ordered supper for both of them with a kind amount of assiduity. He went to his book-case and took out a volume of Keats' and Shelley's poetry. He read to Shapiro the poems of Keats. Shapiro listened with eagerness. Suddenly a knock on the door interrupted the Captain's flowing words. The Captain rose, and a troubled expression was on his face. He went to the door. A bespectacled man was at the door, dressed rather importantly, and with all the neatness and trim of an incense-bedecked flower in blooming session. Please tell me what you want, sir, said the Captain. I seem to have disturbed you. I am very sorry.. But you see, sir, I wish you would help me obtain an interview with Mayor Polikoff. I have found it so far very difficult to get near him. I hope you will be able to help me. I would be very grateful. Why is there such a necessity? asked the Captain. You see, I am editor of the Emporia Gazette and I arn covering this voyage. You see, then, that it is very important. The man spoke sympathetically and with all the poise of a full grown flower. What may your name be? inquired the Captain. My name is Freed, Herzl Freed of the Emporia Gazette. All right, Mr. Freed, if you will return after supper I will be glad to help you. Thank you, very much. Freed left the cabin, strutting like a major in the van of an army. He looked handsome from the rear and as straight as a telephone pole. His work as editor of the Emporia Gazette had proven rather light for him, for he was an experienced journalist and reporter. He was a happy newspaper man. The Captain returned to Shapiro, who was reading some of Keats' poetry to himself. When he saw the Captain, he beamed forth: This poetry is beauti- ful and merry. The two continued to talk of Shelley and his Adonais. They ate lightly and talked and ate lightly again. Freed returned to his cabin and prepared himself for supper. On his bureau he found a yellow piece of paper with an odd handwriting. It read: Do not attempt to interview Mayor Polikoff. I-I.I.E.P. 025

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THE ELCHANITE The 'H.l.E.P.?' Well, that stands for a 'Herring ln Every Pot.' lt is the campaign slogan of this gentleman, Senator Huey Lipschitz, who is presiden- tial candidate for l96U. The Captain put the palm of his hand to his mouth and choked a laugh that would have sounded something like the exhaust of a motor car. Indeed, what a herring in every pot would do towards aiding a depression-ridden country remained impossible. The Captain, however, shrugged his shoulders in doubt and contented himself with simply listening to the Senator's talk and abstaining from any annoying comment. The Senator continued energetically. Unemployed will be given jobs in public herring-works, shipping and dis- tributing herring and pots throughout the country. This public works program will provide millions of jobsp it will serve the people, and the herring will cost the government practically nothing. lt was then that the illustrious Hearst reporter, Pickholtz, wearing a pair of eye-glasses that looked like a bicycle with its wheels rapidly turning, like records on a phonograph, popped up rather forcefully. Senator Lipschitz, sir. l am afraid that your H.l.E.P. public works program will afford plenty of room for big scale chiselers and racketeers, as in the' case of previous relief programs. Well, Mr. Pickholtz, l will dare to say that your fear is premature. Our public works will be run by a highly efficient staff, consisting of college pro- fessors and brain-trusters, who will rarely be deficient in their unerring efforts. The Senator beamed with joy at his eloquent speaking. But, Senator Lipschitzf' continued Pickholtz rather persistently, will not your H.l.E.P. program lower the American standard of living to such a degree, that it would compare with the present low standard in Red Russia? Man, if unemployment can be done away with, and its burdening and deadening effects vanish, any standard of living could be gradually raised. Our whole program is mainly to relieve the country in such a way that people will be satisfied. The papermen shot questions at the Senator and wrote rapidly the words he answered. They all wrote eagerly and with satisfaction. The Senator ran his finger through his big mustache, that seemed to the Captain to be like the fur of a brown bear. Captain Dorfman left the cabin silently, astonished and troubled Cas if he had been walking in a green forest when a tree knocked him on his facet, all because he had seen such a crazy sort of a presidential candidate. He soon forgot, however, about the Senator. He hurried back to the poet, Shapiro, with whom he could have a light supper and talk poetry. ln the heavens the clouds rolled slowly, rounded like low waves on the ocean, with the same darkness which enveloped praying trees in autumn winds. lt was blacker in the sky and night was coming to loll in the heavens like a gloomy stranger at a roadside house. The Captain returned and found Shapiro leaning against the rail. He was smoking a cigarette, and the smoke that rose in curls was like the scene of wrangling human bodies in agony, entwined and twisted, dumb, silent and dead. 24'

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THE ELCHANITE Freed stood alone with the note in his hand. His mouth opened and then closed suddenly with much vigor, as a wire on a mouse trap. He threw the note in the corner and determinedly continued to dress for supper. When he had finished he stood erect and bold. He left his room and strolled toward the dining-hall. The way was dark but he was never gripped by any fear. ln the dining-hall people were beginning to eat. They bent over their soup, that rolled to the edges of the plate as water in a bath-tub. People were dancing, contorting their bodies, and some stepped in perfunctory man- ner. The band burst forth with heavy notes and then slowed down to a mild rhythm, in which Katz, the band leader, rolled a harmonica between his lips. il-le did it all rather lustfully, with all the eagerness and craftsmanship of a Negro eating watermelonl ln a corner peoples tood about a table. Arms were about arms and body leaned upon body, heads were bent forward, stretched as heads of chickens, popped up from an egg shell. All peered at two bold and stern figures who were playing chess, with red faces and ruffled eye-brows. The tenseness was great, and only the band music could be heard disturbingly above all. Freed flocked to the gathering and inquired the reason of the crowd. A bearded man with a bright purple suit blurted forth: Oh, there are two chess players here, Cohen and Leeman, who are going to play in the masters' tournament at New York. They have been playing chess in this corner for four hours. They had previously been in the center of the room but they had to be moved into this corner to allow place for the diners. They have not yet displayed any emotion at their present disposition. My name is Professor Bernstein and l am a scientist, but never have l seen human beings so engrossed in a single action. l am afraid that this playing will somehow affect their minds, leading to a mental relapse and incomplete functioning of the brains. But with these fellows displaying such vigor and energy at this game, l doubt whether a storm could uproot them from their seats. Freed smiled. Professor Bernstein smiled. Both looked on the game as Well as possible. The game was disturbingly slow, in fact, it began to ruffle Freed's hair. He left the crowd and went to a table. He sat down and put his hand in his pocket to get a cigarette. He felt a piece of paper and pulled it out. It was yellow and had the same handwriting as the paper he found in his room. lt also read: Do not attempt to interview F Mayor Polikoff. H.l.E.P. The whole incident was beginning to prove troubling. What did H.l.E.P. mean and why shouldn't he talk with Mayor Polikoff? Who was passing these notes to him? He turned about and looked at the faces of the people near him. He recognized the retired banker, Zelikow, who was backing the cam- paign of Mayor Polikoff. He saw Mr. Ehrenthal, eminent radical lecturer, shaking his hands and slapping his table with his palms. He appeared to be talking rather heatedly. Freed rose slowly and neared Ehrenthal's table. He heard a deep voice emitting blatant accusations. This Senator Lipschitzf' Ehrenthal croaked forth, is nothing but a quasi- liberal and a perjurer of the American people. He is but a malicious dinasaur in a dog's skin. His H.l.E.P. program . . 26'