Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (New York, NY)

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FUNNY Nolses by MiITon Shapiro, '35 ICAIVIE home The oTher riigh+ and I saT down and IisTened To The radio and The noises iT makes. I Turned The dial back 'and TorTh and all The numbers passed before me. The Thing made a Tunny noise when I Turned The diaI back and TorTh and I heard all The Tunny noises. And I Iiked To IisTen To Theiradio and siT There in my chair because I Iiked The Tunny noises. I heard a iazz orchesTra Ied by a TeI- Iow called Happy HoTcha and he made a IoTTa noise wiTh The band-more Than The IiTTIe kid nexT door. The IiTTIe kid nexT door makes a IoTTa noise. The music made by This band made me cIose my ears and shuT my eyes and I Turned To anoTher number. The number was playing a sIeepy meIody or some sorT oT a waI+z and I Iiked iT because iT aImosT puT me To sIeep. WeII. The music played by This sTring ensembIe was very nice aIThough some oTher peopIe probably Think This music Iousy-buT I didn'T care abouT whaT oTher peopIe cared abouT The music I IisTened To Then. And Then came The end oT The music and iTs wonderTuI Tunes and I was sorT oT sorry because I couIdn'+ hear The nice music ThaT I IisTened To up To Then. And Then a guy sTarTed To TaIk abouT some IaxaTive and some sTuTT oT ThaT sorT and iT made me sick and Tunny in The' sTomach. I Turned The numbers around and iT was Tunny how all The sTaTions were TuII 'oT guys who TaIked abouT some Thing or anoTher. IT's aITogeTher Tunny how The radio is The onIy Thing over which a guy can TaIk' and noT be abIe To see his IisTeners make Tunny Taces aT him. And aT ThaT Time I was making Tunny Taces aT all The guys who were sorT of Talking Tor noThing. IT's Tunnier sTiII how all The guys ThaT TaIked didn'T have any- Thing To TaIk abouT and They didn'T say any- Thing eiTher. WeII, anyway all The sTaTions were TuII oT guys ThaT TaIked and I didn'T Iike TeIIows who TaIked, so I shuT The damn radio. My moTher Iooked aT me and saw The biTTer faces I was making because whaT The guys said over The radio wasn'T whaT I wouId Iike To hear said over The radio when I'd be IisTen- ing To iT. A Ii++Ie IaTer I Turned The Thing on again and sTiII The guys were Taiking and They kepT on Talking, so I shuT The radio. And Then I said To myseIT aTTer The guys over The radio couIdn'T be heard any more ThaT, when There wasn'T any sweeT music over The radio, The radio was a nuisance. So I wenT To bed and I said To myseIT The Thing was a nuisance because There was no sweeT music over The radio. I was under The cooI covers and I Iiked iT because The cooI covers made me Teel warm. The window was open and The soTT cooI air TiIIed The room I was sleeping in and I Iiked iT 'cause iT made me warm. I was geTTing To TeeI good and Tor- geT abouT The radio over which some guys were Talking abouT noThing when Trom my nexT door I heard a guy TaIking Ioud. The voice sounded Iike coming Trom a guy Talking over a radio and I didn'T Iike iT 'cause I didn'T Iike guys which TaIk over a radio abouT noTh- ing. So I didn'T Teel warm any more 'cause I had To cIose The window so's noT To hear a guy who TaIked over a radio abouT noThing. And I Turned over and I said The radio was a damn nuisance. 50

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THE EL CHA NITE szzzwazuvrzzzvcfrzwvrzza RelucTanTly They Tore Themselves away Trom Their vicTim one by one and Tiled ouT OT The house. Well, Wasserman, GoTTTried Turned To The prone vicTim. You should Thank me Tor your sTill being alive. Hadn'T iT been Tor me, They surely would have made shorT work OT you. He was aT The poinT oT leaving when his bruTal insTincTs Torced him back. There, he said, exTending his TooT To Wasserman. Kiss! The laTTer, crazed wiTh pain, was unable To undersTand. GoTTTried was Turious. Kiss, do you hear? Kiss, l Tell you. Wasserman sTirred noT. GoTTTried's Tace colored wiTh rage. You Jew Tacel He gnashed his TeeTh and drove his open hand inTo Wasserman's Tace. You hesiTaTe? Boys he bellowed Through The window, come back here. His comrades who had been anTicipaTing such a demand, soon reTurned. Ah, nu! geT To work. Since he's such a Tine genTleman, leT him kiss my TooT, IT he won'T .... Two youThs liTTed Wasserman Trom The ground and Tlung him aT GoTTTried's TeeT. Remove ThaT booT, GoTTTried com- manded, kicking Wasserman in The mouTh. His consciousness reTurning, pain racking every Tiber in his body, blood sTreaming Trom a dozen wounds, Wasserman Torced himself wiTh The uTmosT diTTiculTy To remove The booT Trom The Nazi's TooT and Then Tell back on The Tloor. GoTTTried shoved his TooT close To The Jew's Tace. A dirTy red TooT, smelling sTrongly oT perspiraTion, and a beaTen up Tace wiTh a long, noble beard. STrangely enough The beard had noT been removed. IT was Torn and plucked in buT a Tew spoTs buT iT sTill reTained iTs digniTy. Kiss, l Tell you! Wasserman, now Tully conscious, remained moTionless. AnoTher kick in The Tace Tollowed. For a momenT all was silenT. Suddenly Wasserman raised his head. GoTTTried emiT- Ted a sharp TrighTTul cry. His Tive Toes had disappeared inTo The Jew's mouTh. The Two rows oT sparkling TeeTh sank deeply inTo The dirTy sweaTy Tlesh. The Nazis sTruck Wasser- man wiTh Their booTed TeeT. They pulled ouT his beard in handfulls. They dug Their nails inTo his eyes and Tore The Tlesh from his Tace. His body squirming and TwisTed, buT his TeeTh closed on relenTlessly. Suddenly someThing was heard To crack inside Wasserman's mouTh. The TeeTh? The bones? Perhaps boTh. All This while GoTTTried shrieked like a smiTTen pig. IT was only when They saw ThaT Wasserman was no longer moving ThaT They resisTed Their savage inclinaTions. Shudders shook Their bodies when They beheld Wasser- man's eyes hanging loose Trom Their bloody sockeTs. His TeaTures were no longer recog- nizable. BuT a Tew congealed sTrands oT his once noble beard remained, maTTed wiTh blood. GoTTTried wriThed aTTempTing in vain To release himselT Trom The deaTh grip. He TwisTed like a snake. From his ThroaT came long hoarse sounds. IT became evidenT To his comrades ThaT he had losT his mind. G-d, oh G-d, help us! The TrighTened Nazis cried as They Tled The house. On The sTreeT The Nazi Tury was raging wiTh all iTs beasTly TerociTy. AmidsT The TumulT none heard The cries oT a living man who was slowly expiring in The iaws oT a dead one- a dead one, on whose crushed and baTTered Tace The Trace OT a conTenTed smile was TainTly discernable. 29

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eaaiflazavwzwvissweesifvizzf W y -::':f::':f:s:::v:z:::':-zszarvinewsfcsasf' TH E EL CHA NITE :ISYS IWIZF THE TELLTALE RAINDROPS by Harold STeinbaum, '37 I TN a small Tlourishing Town of CenTral Rus- sia, There lived a prosperous Jewish merchanT by The name OT Reb Shloime. T-le was well known Tor his kind and chariTable naTure and his inTelligenT and honesT manner OT carrying on his business. Even his compeTiTors and ri- vals in Trade had The uTmosT respecT and admiraTion Tor him. BUT among Those who loved him mosT were The people who came inTo closer conTacT wiTh him Than The resT oT The communiTy: his Tam- ily and his servanTs. A kinder masTer Than Reb Shloime was noT To be Tound Tor miles around. l-le Took pains To keep secreTs Trom his servanTs, buT TreaTed Them as his equals and gave Them TrusTy Tasks To perTorm wiTh only Their own word To vouch Tor Their honesTy. As The saying goes, Tell a ThieT he is an hon- esT man and he will very likely believe iT. So iT was wiTh The servanTs oT Reb Shloime. OT course, we did noT mean To say ThaT his servanTs were Thieves-by no means! BUT in a large esTablishmenT oT The sorT ThaT our merchanT carried on, one will probably Tincl one or Two characTers noT quiTe so sTerling in qualiTy as The maioriTy oT The oThers. OT such doubTTul characTer lbeTore coming To his e-sTaTe as a servanTl had been lvan, a Tair-haired Pole, Reb Shloime's righT-hand man. lvan had only recenTly been promoTed To The oTTice of Toreman and general body- guard To his masTer, One mighT quesTion The good sense and shrewdness oT The masTer in enTrusTing a man oT This sorT To a posiTion oT such imporTanceg however, The reason Tor This rash acT was The very TacT ThaT Shloime sus- pecTed a looseness in characTer, which he soughT To correcT by deliberaTely enTrusTing him wiTh valuable goods and missions oT prime imporTance. So calmly and in a man- ner so maTTer-of-course did The masTer Take Tor granTed his servanT's honesTy ThaT lvan's beTTer naTure almosT always conquered Temp- TaTion. ln his own hearT, Reb Shloime Took pride in The knowledge ThaT he had broughT To The surTace The man's honor and inTegriTy. Such was The relaTionship beTween maSTer and servanT when our sTory opens. BuT iT seems ThaT Reb Shloime's TrusTing naTure car- ried circumsTances a biT Too Tar and creaTed Tragedy and misery where peace had reigned. ll lT was The cusTom oT Reb Shloime To make 5 very long and perilous Trip To several .com- mercial cenTers locaTed many miles disTanT Trom his naTive ciTy. The purpose OT This 'our- ney was To buy up large quanTiTies oT mer- chandise in These markeTs Tor cash, Thus pay- ing much less Than his compeTiTors who boughT on crediT. l-lowever, a greaT many dangers accompa- nied a Trip oT This sorT and, ThereTore, iT was Taken only Twice a year. lvlosT oT The Travel- ing was Through a dense wilderness widely in- TesTed wiTh Thieves and cuTThroaTs. One can readily see, ThereTore, ThaT a well-known wealThy business man on a buying Tour wiTh Thousands OT dollars in cash on his person. would have been Tine baiT Tor any enTerpris- ing and ambiTious young highwayman. However, The danger oT unknown ThieveS was, as They say in Jewish, only a halbe ture. The real and everpresenT peril was The TempTaTion creaTed in The hearT OT whosoever happened To accompany him. lT was neces- sary To Take aT leasT one man along To help bring back The goods and drive The Teams. IT was equally essenTial ThaT This man be The cream oT The loT and wholly TrusTworThy. 3i