Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (New York, NY)

Page 33 text:

'llliiri Yr-Um I, Edward Pickus, leave to Dr. Shapiro a dairy store where his wife can pay high prices so that he will get a higher return for his teaching servicesg and I, joseph Singer, leave to Mr. Kronish my revised history of the United States: and I, Isidore Roodner, leave the United States and go to Palestineg and I, Abraham Feldbin, leave to Dr. Sha' piro a package of gum to rub into my hair: and I, Alfred Kolatch, leave to Dr. Shapiro a priscope with which to keep an eye on the rear endzn and I, David Roth, leave to future science students my conspicuous heefhavv to be used for the purpose of heefhawing Mr. Liebowitz's funny OJ jokesg and I, Irving Lieber, leave to Dr. Shapiro Tllld lfI,I.'l1.-1,Nl7'I',' the laborious task of procuring once more so well organized a rear endf' and I, Harry Maliii, leave all my admit slips to Mr. Shear to excuse his for his habitual absences from classg and I, Max Crandell, leave to Dr. Shapiro the request that he Stake a walk for three days with three Alotkesg' H and I, Arnold Drusin, leave to Mr. Shear his famously funny fivefpenny exams, and I, S. Alexander Kornfeld, leave the dig' nity of my name to future Editorsg and I, Oscar Falk, leave to the faculty the advice that they take it all without vvinf cing, as everything-compliment or knock, was earned during the course of four years. Signed and witnessed before me this Hfth day of June, in the year nineteen hundred and thirtyfthree. OSCAR FALK fqm 'I' 4 . cf if ? F4 -EEL? I

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Thirty THE ELCHANITE P WE, the class of june, 1933, realizing fully well with what expressions of glee, sighs of relief, and other inwardly felt and outwardly expressed manifestaf tions of ecstasy our friends, the Members of the Faculty, greet our departure from the scene of the classroom battles between student and teacher, being sane of mind, sound of body, and otherwise fit to carry on the student crusade against knacllich, book reports, exams, report cards, and the general acquisition of knowledge, do here' by retaliate by bequeathing, transferring, transmitting and otherwise relinquishing to the common possession of the aforemenf tioned faculty, the multitude of pet peeves which, over the long, battle' marked trail of four years' struggle, have been allowed to accumulate and multiply under the inherent evils of nonfcooperaf tive, nonfpsychoanalyical, nonfsynipathetic, and otherwise hostile regime of the stu- dentxs traditional foe, the previously men' tioned faculty. Thusly do we dispose of our common heritage and possessions: To. Mr. Orleans we leave the hope that he will be appreciated by other Elchanite staffs as he was appreciated by this one: To Mr. Kronish we leave hopes of an honest politician, To Mr. Lebowitz we leave a new me- thod for concocting what is vulgarly known as stink bombs for punishing miscreants who prefer whistling in class to listening to his funny jokes, To Mr. Shear we leave an Elchanite, To Dr. Shapiro we leave a homefstudy course in Pooschart Law and the hon' orary degree of P. C. L. D. fPooschart Law Doctorj, N illv To Mr. Abrams we leave all the Nino' ters and fathers and sisters and brothers who did not come to see meg To Mr. Lieberman we leave the sugf gestion that he devise some means wheref by he can acquire the senility and dignity which befits a disciple of Cicero, and To Dr. Stern we conidently leave the simple task of squaring the circle and trisecting the angle, and To. Dr. Charles we leave a new red book in which to enter his marks. AND FURTHERMORE I, Mordecai Gabriel, bequeath to the T, A. one 'opisthotentis medusoides, two scolopendia morsitaus, and three insect pins which are caught behind the radiator in room 403, and I, Abraham Novick, leave my preposf terous, tempestuous, omniverous, somnif ferous, and variegated laugh to future gorf illas, and I, Chaim Appelman, leave my chazanish ability to davin ma'ariv in Mr. Lebowitz class, and I, Morris Cohen, hereby leave to the undergraduates all my enjoyable Engf lish periods with the hope that they enjoy them as I did, and I, Arthur Rosenbaum, leave to Dr. Sha' piro a manual, The Fine Art of Judging Debates which I hope will enable him to do a better job than he has done so far, and I, Max Levy, leave to Dr. Shapiro my indispensable reading lessons and neverf failing zeroes to refpresent to some other deserving economic student, and I, Harold Kaufman, leave to Mr. Shear the hope that some day he will find a class which will appreciate his tirelessly expounf ded Attitude Theory, and

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Iihzrtx Two THE ELCHANITE L' pP Glrgaiztl Mall A SUDDEN sense of quietude crept over the assembled group. A swarthy iigf ure swaggered into the midst of the gang of ominous characters, He cast an obf serving and piercing eye north and south, east and west. The plans are ready, exclaimed Chiel Banditto and Murderer Mee Too Rosen- ple. This whim was particularly evident in his high school year, when he would amuse himself by issuing shrill cries and uttering all sorts of funny noises in order to give his teachers gray hairs. He was not alone in his fancies. It was but natural that he should combine with other mischievous individuals. Prominent E. E 'Y J 3 J 3 ,, t ff I as 1 3 - . A i 97' A , ,,,, x ., 'fs' - ' f tr c f T. gal ., is cii A 1'l'lNl'i T lf fi A it F, baum in a muffled voice. . . . Before we proceed any further it would be advisable to pause for a while both to determine what this is all about, who these ominous characters represent, and to harrass the reader by keeping him in tormenting suspensewHeh! Heh!- Since early childhood Mee Too had been obsessed by a love of torturing peof among his cronies were: A. Feldbin, who would annoy his tutor by thoughtless quips, A. Kolatch, who added senseless to thoughtless wisecracks, and Tiny Tim Roodner, who though possessing Aa short stature also possessed a large assortment of supercilious laughs. His HefHe-Hoof Hoofl-loc- would resound throughout the classroom, and entering the ears of