Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

Page 24 text:

J y W EDITORS: XV. ORENSTEIN, FRED VUIESENFELD AND H. WEISBERG 'UH s f NEW HOSPITAL FOR MENTAL DISORDERS ESTABLISHED S, ' 1, -' The cornerstone for the Chicago Institute of Insanity was laid today. Chief Psychi- J cih ,Q .itrist will he I, Wfinograd, B. S., M. S., I.N.C. CI.N.C,-Special degree given to I psychiatrists upon becoming pyromaniacs. Requirements for this degree include the A 1 burning of a house and a car on one matchj O BILLIONAIRE BUILDS NEW SCHOOL of, Wm l B' enfeld whose immense lortune runs into logdrithms, has just com, Stan ey len . . pleted the blueprints for his new school. Tuition is 51,000,000 per semester. The school consists of 10 gyms, 4 movie houses, 8 auditoriums, 6 saloons, 25 gambling dens, 5 solid gold Olhces, one classroom, and I25.000,000 students. School hours are - ' ' Af Zzlito 2:16, once .ill d.1y every day extept lor Yom-lxippur, and study hours are rom every leap year.

Page 23 text:

ilLast'G1I1iIl anb Gestament We, the first Graduates of T. A. Brooklyn, being at this time in no fit state of mind and body to be held responsible for what we say and do, hereby leave and be- queath the following to our beloved institution and its intimates: Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause Clause I II III IV V Vl VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV To Rabbi Zuroff we leave a special assortment of admit pads of a variety of colors. To Miss Sherman we leave automatic bells that ring five minutes late each period without any special attention. To Mr. Strum we leave a soft arm chair and a new Adam hat. QHO-humlj. To Mr. Horn we leave a book without any underlying theme or purpose. To Mr. Grossman we leave a freshman class that will really appreciate its music period and a victrola that doesn't cry. To Rabbi Faivelson we leave at the First National Bank 1,000,000 ad blanks, and a yarmulkah with glue on the inside. To Mr. Lilker we leave the hope that someday PR will be used in T. A.'s elections. To Mr. Turetsky we leave a new Drash'i' on the geometric proof of trisecting an angle. To Mr. Godin we leave all the unfinished French homework. To Dr. Lichtenstein we leave an automatic average computator which computes averages without taking marks into consideration. To Mr. Landowne we leave the duty of formulating a new theory of evolution based on the discovery of the connection between the seedless watermelon and the fossilized amoeba. To Mr. Lebowitz we leave the task of splitting the electron and a new screwdriver with which to do it. To Mr. Cantor we leave a new language to get to the bottom of. To the ambitious pioneers of T. A. Brooklyn we leave the hope that someday they will see a new building with a swimming pool and a gym. fNote to future graduates: This clause may be reprinted word for word in your own Last Will and Testaments without chargej. To T. A. we leave a four year course in sanity. health, and happiness for the inmates of the future. In witness whereof we do here affix our hand and seal the twenty-eighth day of june, one thousand nine hundred and forty-eight. Signed, THE SENIOR CLASS Illtkflllj'-0718

Page 25 text:

1 i CJ ,... , ,, ., Y g K -A -3' --'--L'-i HERO WINS MEDAL Fred Wiesenfeld, famous airplane engineer, just received his twentyvtifth flying medal. The medal was to be presented to Mr. Wiesenfeld on Sunday morning, March 52, at 9:00 pm. However, due to the tact that Mr. Wiesentield tried to undertake the dithcult tlight from New jersey to New York without a corpilot. the medal will be awarded posthumously to Mrs. Wieseiiteld, when she will be with uf- next month, The medal is to be awarded by Boss Krumbein, substituting for Hlfiglitingg Willie the Weal of the U. S. Army, who will be attending Smithah exercises at the Talmudical Academy Naval Training Center. ft J I QM L .a .lewff fa- L to X tl 'lifgr S4 BILLION LOST X ,, jacob Krumbein, billionaire, who invested hve billion dollars in Dogpaw Gold mines, has lost four out of his tive billions when it was discovered that the mine would yield nothing more than an occasional ton or two of radium. This has caused him to Cut down on his expenses and he is now lighting his Cigars with 3100 Checks instead of with two thousand dollar bills. This ent vsill have to Continue until his printing press is hxed. f MET GETS NEW STAR TENOR - f Cantor Wfalter Orenstein has been reeently engaged by the Metropolitan Opera i Co. Wlien Mr. Orenstein was asked to sing La Tiaviataf' he refused hetause he wanted ' to start from the bottom. ' Alter due deliberation, the Opera fo. tinally ai'i'ix'etl upon .iii .lPiWl'0IWl'l.Ittj posi, X N .I tion lor the toloratura tenor. Ile may now lie ioirn-I iii :lag iiiezis lounge selling , 1 4 N, lemonade. yi 'N ,fi f tLegs Orenstein got his start singing at beauty contestsl X l'1itf.'.'3-Yi ttt