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Page 92 text:
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5'-'V -:- . '::::.::n::.mp::r::?. :zum-5-:::5z.4..z::::-::m.:z:u::.r.:1:vu:-::::::::m:::::.e:x::.-:tru':::z:a-.z-sp:-::2:::,.::T:.:L7.L7. ,WH ,.f,.12z,,Z.M,, .,,. , ..,a: A' ..:,..-1, ,. W. ' if' . , 31 E-me ., . '-,' .S az: ef- 'L' 235. 4-f W tw 4-' ,Q-i.:-1,1 N-we af -Lew Z GN f if ' ., it is 3- 54 5 lv . . -Q - 4 ff ,f , af it ha . ee . if ., 4, ,, ,, .ar... ..,, JM., .I . 4...g,maa.ve4 ,se .. 1 ,-f f- , yr -9 - x , M., ff a I V .-...JL .. Mm, m...a.f , 1 ? I s 's Q f ' 7 3 so - 2 ' -f.:sf:B,,..w:: .... 1 ::::::L2ZjEiZZZ'If ::::1:x::.:1::::::':.7.?117:.1'::::::::::r::::1:.1:.xx:::::::::LL1:::::g:::::::::::,:.::::1:::::r'.......'-1.-:,:,',I.i '2E3:eQEi7:r.... ----- 7e.t.....5L...f:. ........-.. ......,. . ..... .-...,.., .... .................-.......,.-....-.-,......-. ,... .....,................- B., ,f.--......... -:.. .,............,....... Q . W, A. .........,..,.....-.-..........-... BABY BUGGIES! DEWEY WVAYNIQ-Jainiary, 1917 Q Q1 HAT? You sell automobiles ? 5 roared the iritate William Bircher at his only son, Why you couldn't sell baby buggies from door to door! You're nothing but a kid fresh from college and haven't had your first nibble of business life yet. It takes a man with ex- perience and ability to sell articles of value, especially those which are mere luxuries. Do you think your little B. A. degree is go- ing to help you cajole a couple of thousand dollars out of some tight-listed miser? Do you think you could do that? Why, a baby buggy is a necessity, but a pretty show you would find selling even that little item. At this point Jim darkened the door and left. I-Ie was mad. Held waited four years at college so he could be his dad's foreign sales- man, and now when he had waited such an eternity, his dad told him, his own only son, that he couldn't even sell baby buggies! Business experience, bah! Why he had a B. A. degree and that certainly entitled him to almost anything he could possibly want, at least a thing as a job. Once in his den, jim gave his heart over to bitterness. The words, You couldn't even sell baby buggies! rang in his ears. Suddenly he roared, By heck, I'll sell baby buggies in this town and make a success of it, if I have to throw the buggies in the houses and extract the gold filling from the women's teeth to pay for them. He knew he could. Pshaw, a college man always has it over everyone else, and, besides, Mabel Cshe was his fianceel would help out if he needed assistance. It was then one o'clock in the afternoon, so he hurried off toward the largest infants' supply house in the city of Elwood. Ar- rived before it, he cast doubtful glances at the many white-bedecked vehicles conspicu- ously displayed in their spacious show win- dows. It was indeed a wonderful display which lay before him. Baby buggies for Eighty-eight the poor, baby buggies for the rich! White, black, green, beautiful, comfortable or ugly! Any kind youthful public might possi-bly wish for. Baby buggies, however, will not as a rule, hold a manas attention for a very great space of time, even though the said individual is planning on redeeming his own filial stand- ing by disposing of them for slippery cash. The young son of the auto magnate was not an exception to this rule, for, after a brief survey, with a snappy turn of the heel, and a squared jaw, he entered the For Em- ployes Only office. A multitude of desks confronted him-a veritable labyrinth for a job-seeking person, but, to his immediate relief, he perceived one large desk labeled Mr, Johnson, Manager, and he wasted no time in hurrying past the inquisitive girls to the monarch of the establishment. After briefly introducing himself to the manager, Jim began, To be brief and frank with you, sir, I want a position as city sales- man or solicitor for baby buggies, that is, to sell them from door to door. You under- stand, don't you? You see+ Say, interrupted the manager, do you think this is a five and ten cent store, or a department store? I can't give you a job like that. VVhy, our sales are all made wholesale. I'm very sorry but I can't do anything for you. Hang it all! I've got to have that job whether I take it second-hand or have to create it. My life, my honor depends on it ! Your life, your honor? questioned Mr. Johnson, the manager. I don't understand what you meanf' Well, began Jim, I'll explain to you. My dad is president of the Bircher Auto- mobile Company and ever since I can re- member, I've wanted to be a foreign sales- man and expected to be one as soon as I graduated from college. Now I've finished ....-........--.....a..........-..,.,...........,..-......... .....-.q
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Page 91 text:
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ff yr... 'tixzar '---1r Z rv , 1 X 'J 3,5 1 ---i -......,...... ..,.., ,...-...-... ...,,..,..... ,.,. ..,. -...,........,............s-....--...-.....-..-,.....................,..-....-....................,.........- ........ W.- ..,.. ........-...-..-....- 3fg.:A1,55v 33 . .-x.4:::::::::m-1::.:':-:.-:'.,'::::.1-..::.,.,....... .'::::s:-:::::.1-.nz-..a::1:.::::r'--5 :.,,,,,F-iz, ,E , S ,:m35,,f53-?5,E...:,,,5,g555,g,,,,,,..,5,,A :-:I.2 ' ' fri-:SE ij:-I ,511 ':':,t,L.h5-, 452553. 5,gf1g:gg--,gg2r:- is 3 ff 'e fiiii' - .- .... ..,.w . 15 'sta is E? '-fi' AN? ::-A .5 r-' .... f ,- 1 . 3 E S ir 'fist .Jia 1' t-5,,,,.:SI,g A ':::v:r'fi,...:a..fz:2:IfJ:1Z'2I,lf 'hrxxx:21111.22::.:.'::T.:':::2::1:S:1'.?1::7f4::4::.'.L':.... ' J I' xi il... 4 -.... ZZ.'lT.1I.1J1I3fIZlJL. I3'L12'Z '....'--:1J '.:a:::.-::m-- ... it-.,' ...--.-.................v..... , l,,,....,-v-.-..-...i..sssa.,.-.-M.. .... ... ...-.L -ef-A-1-iff, .A I nearly forgot to tell you that we have a new movie theater here. It is called the Caesius. VV'ith war tax and everything I am nearly broke. I certainly am sorry I ever took Calphurnia, because she won't stay at home now. There is a new serial running, called the Terrible Triumphs of Tempestuous Tessief' and believe me, I have to escort Calphurnia to see it every Tuesday night. I am dropping you a gentle hint for your sake and that of your pocketbookg don't take your wife to see the beginning of a serial picture. I hear there is a movement on foot to offer me the crown. Believe me, I am gomg to be sly! I am going to pretend I won't take it, but after a while, when Calphurnia' and the rest of the mob come, weeping salty, crocodile tears on my manly shoulder, I will take it, very reluctantly of course. I met old Solomon Levi, the soothsayer, at the Capitol today and he muttered some- thing about, Beware of the conspirators. I don't think much of those superstitious old Turks, so I let him meander along, talking to himself. Wfell, I suppose I will have to stop, as the midnight oil is burning low. As super- intendent of the electric works at Dead Sea, I think that you ought to run out and look them over. The connections are terrible and half the time we have no lights at all. , Vfell, so long. The next time you see me, 1'll be an emperor. Yours very truly, JULIUS CAESAR. W, , V-, , -.....-,.,.........--.-. , , 1, ....,,,,,, Y, Y ,, , ,wa-1,...... Y W - My dear Bottom: I have just read presently of your affair in the woods with Titania. She showed an inexorable amount of nerve in trying to suf- fice you from your companions. Of course one couldn't blame her for her ententions to you in the woods, for I have seen your picture and all the words in my intensive vocabulary couldn't repress the throbs of my organ of love on seeing the a1'tist's insufficient betrayal of your beauti- ful countenance. The protuberance of joy eliminating your wonderful violet eyes ren- dered me speechless. The verdure of your tenacious hair invigorates me. The general dainty air about you and your perfifious per- sonality cause me to show antipathy toward you. I have heard, too, of your masterless efforts in acting. That produce you put on in Theseus' castle was worthy of you. Your troupe of lesser lights were comparable in their rolls, excluding Wall, Moon and Lion. Their technique in their betrayal of the parts were unique. - Another thing, my dear Bottom, is your wonderful vocabulary. It is almost as ap- prehensive as 1Tly own. lfVhen I saw you saying, There is not a more fearful wild fowl than your line living, the malice and inebriation of your words infected 1ne, for them's my sentiments, as ficticous as ever a man tasted. My dear Bottom, I think that a letter from you would be most enervating, so won't you please reply to this? Yours very lovingly, MRS. NIALAPROP. Eighty-seven
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Page 93 text:
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,.'r-Sri:-::-r.':.r........... 'M'-2':::r:::':1' ' e 'I .- - college and dad laughed at me when I asked him for the salesmanship, and told me I couldn't even sell baby buggies from door to door. Now, won't you help me out ? A sly twinkle in the manager's eyes told Jim of his success. Yes, son, I'll help you. At one time I worked for your father, but I never could show him anything. If you think you can, I'd like to be on hand to see you do it, he chuckled, I'1l have one of my office girls Hx you up with samples, and here's my hand for your success ? Mr. Johnson called to one of the many girls in the establishment and, to his surprise Jim saw Mabel's best friend coming toward him. She recognized him immediately and after a short talk with the manager led jim into the stockroom of the establishment. VVhat can I do for you ? she said. Mr. Johnson told me that what you wanted was to be done and that I was to 'fix' you up. So Jirn explained again what he wanted to do and how he intended to do and how he intended to do it, while she listened with a. generous smile on her face. How perfectly lovely ! she said when he had sketched his plan. Now, you choose two samples while I get some other things. Jim had been uneasy before, but now he was petrified, and well might he be, for picking out two samples from a two hundred thousand dollar stock of baby carriages was not an easy task. There were piles upon piles before him. It was indeed a mighty spectacle, and a famine of baby carriages looked improbable in the face of such a col- lection. It was many times more than the astonished james had ever imagined could exist, let alone exist in a city where the mar- riage license clerk made only about twenty dollars a week, and fourteen dollars of that came from direct taxes. Jim scratched his head in perplexity as he tried to select two stylish buggies as would satisfy any prospective buyer. Now, every- one will have to admit that that wasn't an easy or pleasant task for a young man fresh from college, with no knowledge whatever of the taste of youthful parents. Trigonom- etry or history wouldn't help out here. He knew that just plain common sense was all that was necessaryg so he tried to summon to remembrance what sort of a wheeled vehicle he had ridden in so many years be- fore, but twenty years was a long time to think back to. Then he tried reasoning what kind of babies there were. There are twins and triplets and, of course, single bab-ies! Most common of these three classes are the twins and single ba-bies, and this made his selection as easy as choosing his own wear- ing apparel. Now, young men of this world are not supposed to be up to the ideal in taste as to baby vehicles, but picked judges would have certainly agreed that james Richard did his sex justice in his selection of two polished carriages. Jim himself was very well satisfied. But Fate balances every joy with an equal sorrow. If the Bircher boy could only re- peat, at will, the yell of horror that came to his lips upon beholding Mabel's returning friend, he would make a fortune in the theatrical world. She had three babies on her arms! Besides these, she clapsed a great bundle of infant paraphernalia. Well, here you are, Mr. Bircher, thanks to the manager and myself for details. I don't want any praise, but I do think I did my duty toward my best friend's husband- to-be, she said as she tucked the babies in their beds of downy white. When your customers see how darling they look, they can't help ibut buy. Oh, but they do look so awfully cute l jib was dazed. He touched one of the kids to make sure he wasn't seeing things, but- great thundering Jehoshaphat! They were bisque babies! A remonstrance was not then long coming, I really can't go on the street with those things ! 'ljust like a man, she said at once. Don't you realize the value of those babies? They make the buggies look real with those life- like faces of theirs. It's a novelty and is bound to take with your customers. You can't succeed without them! Aw, no one's going to pay any attention to those things, said Jim. Eighty-nine
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