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Page 71 text:
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ff! I ew ,L Q ...-......,.,.,............-.......,......,.,.......-.......-..........-............... .,..... ...-..-..........................--.......................,..... ..... ................-...... .,.. ..--... ..,,,,i.-, ag-:,.-1 ,V ,552-, 1f,,,.-,,..,2w' gg 3 r'.4 ':.:.1.f:.-::::::t.':':.'-r.:.:::m::.-r.-:4 H 5:7 rx . . . . ., . ' ,.' i 'E 11 -H---1:1121 xl-. a -.-..,..-. ' W-----1 :2..,.,.. I '::.-:x:::.:2.::..'-i::.:::::::a:.-.:v.,.-- - ---r-:::::::::utz -if -.. - - ................W- I .---.-........aw,..--4.-...,. .Y - VV ell, then, he surely wouldn't be on this census-it's two years old. But if he has property, you can trust the assessor to find him out. Say, if you'1l give me the party's name, I'll phone down and ask the assessor and the water department. I gave him the name, Mrs. Mary Bandon or Lander. I-Ie first tried to phone the water department. However, their line was busy. He then called up the assessor, and carried on a monologue like this: 'tHello, assessor's office? Have you the name, Mrs. Mary Lander or Bandon on your lists? No, I did not say Harry Sandy wanted to pay his taxes. I said, Is the name Mrs. Mary Lander or Bandon on your lists ? just a minute, I'll send the 1113.11 down. Good-bye. I departed when I heard him say he was going to send me down. I was in too much of a hurry to get the thing settled, to be polite. Assessor in room 306: water office. 3l6, he yelled after me good-naturedly. . After looking almost all through the third floor, I arrived at the assessor's office. The clerk in charge of the place was very old. I vaguely remember wondering how he ate anything except mush, for he had but one tooth. I asked him if I could see the tax lists. This brought down a homily from him about the sacred secrecy of the records. When he had gotten himself too much out of breath to talk any more, I said, XVill you please see if there is a Mrs. Mary Lander or Bandon on the lists ? Heh ? said he, putting his hand to his ear. Mrs Mary Bandon or Lander, I re- peated, much louder. Oh, Mrs. Mary Bander or Landon, said he. sort of satisfied with himself. f'No,,' shouted I, Mrs Mary Bandon or Landerf, Yes, I-Ie then turned to the records, and started to look up the name. Either there was something wrong with the records or with him, I don't know which, for he spent about half an hour looking up those two names, while I kept up a sort of undertone Greek chorus of Confound the luck, 'fHurry up, you grey-haired reprobatew Che was npt supposed to hear this , and many other such gentle expressions. And, blame it, all my waiting was in vain, for at last he turned to nie, smiled feebly, and said, Your lady with the many aliases has not her name down. Now, my boy- But I did not hear the rest of his spiel. I made a line-buck through the door, a long end-run down the corridor, a cut-in round the corner, and finally made a touch- down in the water department oiiice. A brisk, business-like young clerk came to- wards me. I What can I do for you P smiled he. VVill you please see if there is a lady named Mrs. rMary Bandon or Lander or your lists P Surely, After consulting the list a min- ute or two, I am sorry to say there is not. Good-day. And I was gone. p I dived into the marriage license office, which was next. Perhaps Aunt Mary had been married in Chicago. W'ithout think- ing that it would not help me to find her present address, I asked, Is there a license for a couple named Bandon or Lander P Whei1 were they married ? inquired the clerk. I dimly remembered having been down- town with Mum one day, when she got some sort of gold pin for Aunt Marys golden wedding, so I answered, Over fifty years. Then you can't find any records here. All the old books were destroyed by the Chicago Ere. Great Scott! I was desperate now. All ways of finding Aunt Mary seemed to have been tried. and it was now five-thirty. 1 got out of the office some way, I never knew how. The next office was marked Dog Licenses. I burst in, shouting as I came -towards the counter, Have you a license for a dog named Mrs. Mary Bandon or Lander? ' Sixty-seven
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Page 70 text:
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xx! ,-....,,,.,,,, A,,,,, ,4,,,....,. .,... ...-.-.....,..........,.., .... --. ...T V ,,--.,...........-.H,..-...... X- J.-.-.ft .,,.1-VM., it :V -.Q Q. .,.- -A 5-.., .-: my :W 1 :sl as-As,w..Ha.a,.,y - , - f la ..., . 3 H, , M , 4 . , , .. c , .., . , ,, J U l' 2' i I A gg Z ...sm ,L l 1 -- is , 'I:.... 1 .-l.1::Lr:ZIJi?ffI LI...--'--.:r::':....,. ''' ::::::::::::.':::.... c :...q ....,... :,..''-1.1:1:1:::.:::1:u:::r.':..,,.'---.,-.f 7:-mf ..-.:s..ss...: I .............................,......-.....---. ,,- :WA-......,........,. '-I . , ,, Y Y Y . i-- IZ? ' little less than a year ago, that Aunt Mary and her husband had just moved to Chicago from their farm near Galva. By George! Yes, it couldn't have been .quite a year ago. for' Mum had received the letter the day I left home for college. Confound it! Evi- dently she hadn't been there long enough to have her name in any directory. I blew a jitney out of my hoard of fifty-four cents fthe other quarter had gone for train farej and called up the chief operator. The curious clerk probably heard something like this: Give me chief operator, please. Yes, I said chief operator. UI-Iello, is this the chief operat-Oh! I beg your pardon, I have the wrong number. Hello, chief operator? Hello, is there a person named Mrs. Mary Bandon or Lander who has a phone, but whose name is not in the book? You'll see ? No, I am not through. HI-Iello! There is not? Thank you. Good- bve. I then asked the clerk the way to the City I-Iall, for I thought that there I would be able to find some way of locating Aunt Mary. By this time, I decided that I had better get a move on, so I left the store and trotted over to the car line. After I had waited a long time, a car took a notion to come along. and I leaped on, without taking the formality of waiting for it to stop. VVhile the car seemed to have many troubles, I also had troubles, which eclipsed those of the car. I began to wonder what on earth I Should do if I could not locate Aunt Mary. Con- found it! If we missed that train, we would also miss the boat. Blamed careless of Dad, making such close connections, anyway. Wfhy on earth had I left all the arrange- ments about the trip to him? Ch, damn it, anyhow! VVhy'had I left myself iii such ignorance about the arrangements? I might have known that something unforeseen would occur! 'Why not give up going to Aunt Marys and meet the folks at the sta- tion? But even that was out of the question. lVere there not several stations in Chicago? Sixty-six Surely there were. I remembered that Grubby had told me so. Oh! why had I thought of visiting him at all! Confound Grubby! Blame him! Dod gast him! Dad swiz- Sitty I-Iawl, bellowed the conductor. I jumped off, and went up the steps of the building, cursing the whole blamed mud- dle, and praying that I'd get some track of Aunt Mary. From the first person I met, I inquired my way to the census office, thinking that it was the most likely place for information of the sort that I wanted. Bursting in, I asked the clerk, who seemed, to my fevered brain at least, to be covered with ink, Say! can I have a look at the census ? 'fVVell, you don't look like you'd throw vitriol on 'em, laughed he, but I guess you'll have to put up a deposit. I fished out my forty-four cents. It was not enoiih. However. when I pulled out my watch and added it to the pile, he de- cided, That will more than pay for any damage a poor harmless nut like you could do. Then I realizedthat the inky one had been joshing me. - Too much relieved at being able to get at the books to feel angry, I hurried into the rack room where the books were kept, so fast that Inky had not time to open the door for me. But my 'hopes were doomed to disappointment. There were no Landers in the book at all, and only one Bandon. Since his name was Algernon, and our fam- ily has always held to plain names, I was sure he was in no way connected with Aunt Mary. As I came out the clerk asked: What's the matter, old boy? I-Ie was one of those jokey. but at the same time sympa- thetic, people that one meets once in a while. lVho wants to know ? replied I crossly, for my disappointment had put my temper on edge. Ulf you couldn't find some namef' said he, unabashed, you ought to try the tax- soaker's office and the water department hang-out. Has the party moved into the city lately ? Yes, said I, hoping again. 1
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Page 72 text:
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,..-............,.. ,... ..-...... ,,,. I ..,,......... .................-......... ,,.. ,. ...... ... ...,..... ,..,..... ..... , .. ......... ..,-................. .,.., ......-......-..................................,,M..........r..-......s...., il 4 as is io if ' f 1: 5, ,.... Kg . , . , , , . , , ,. . .. -J, A-uni, E E li, ,5.j-,gfxi,I1Manx::::3:ZTfiZi'If,2' Q1,gg:::11:rx::::::::::m7g1t3T::::17::r::1':L:.:v::':':::x:::::ar:::,:'::x:::::::::::.::::::1-::t.. :: ,E fiisizzawrir. ' a 'M .....................-..s.......w , T ,ss V V ,,., ,..... , ----ds...-r.-- I ...... .... .... .,... . .. ..,.. .................,.,... ..... .,......,.....,. ..... , ...... ........v-.......,......,...--...............-.-...-......-.--f- Oh, you mean the owner is named Mrs. Mary Bandon or Lander, don't you?'l gently corrected the clerk. I said, I guess so, abstractedly, and, when he had found no such license, rushed out of the office at full speed. The rest of my time at the City Hall was like the nightmare I had after we had the Welsh rarebit party, and piled pickles and ice cream on top of the main dish. I remember that I then howled so loud that ,Grubby threw his shoe at me, and spoiled our finest chromo. But to return to the City Hall. I ran from office to office with one question always at the tip of my tongue: Pardon me, have you any records that could help me find Mrs. Mary Bandon or Lander ? Each negative answer got me wilder. At the weight inspectors office, I was looked at so queerly by the clerks that I knew they thought there was nobody home, and I rushed out of the building without stopping at several of the offices. Once outside, the fresh air restored my senses somewhat, and I had the brilliant thought that perhaps the police might help me. l1Vhy hadn't I thought of that before? I jumped into a taxi standing at the curb, yelled, Central Police Station, and slammed the door. The driver cranked up and off we went. On the way, I happened to put my hand into my pocket, felt my money, and suddenly remembered that I had only forty-four cents. I gloomily thought how I would have to spend it all on taxi fares fthe meter already read thirty-six centsj, probably without finding Aunt Mary, and have to spend the night, and goodness only knew how many more nights, on a park bench. Or, perhapsf, thought I. thanks to my 'adjective' carelessness, since I shall spend more coin than I possess, I may be sued, put in the coop, or what not. Good Lord! I must find Aunt Mary. Once at the station, I sprang 'from the car, shouted Wait, raced through the door, and panted to the desk-sergeant, Offi- Sixty-eight cer, where is Mrs. Mary Bandon or Lander?'l VVhat's she in for? queried he. Oh, she's not under arrest, said I, but I can't find her. When did you see her last ? asked the sergeant in a very official manner, prepar- ing to note down my answer in his book. Never, I replied, but I don't see what good this'll do. Then what're you reporting it for ? said he. See here, -officer, protested I, realizing that he thought my venerable great-aunt was a criminal or deserter, I've come to town to see this lady. I canit find her address, and I've come to see if you can't help me. Fm afraid I can't, sir, but have you tried the City Hall ? Yes, said I, and, racing out, threw back, Sorry to have bothered you. IV hen I reached the pavement, I stopped, and began to mutter over the places I had visited, to see if I had omitted any. Then the chauffeur spoke: 'iIf yez is makin' a visit to de city buildings, sorr, Oi'll make yez a speshul rate, and show yez thim all- the sanitarium, the librey, the morg, and the whole kaboosh-all fer two bucks. I declined this offer, but his list set me to thinking. I thought them all over, to see if they would have any records to help me in my search. The morgue-that was where they took the unclaimed dead. Wouldn't they keep some sort of a list of the dead there? Had anyone near to Aunt Mary died lately. Had not Mum said that we were going to see Aunt Maiy, and yet had not both Aunt Mary and her husband moved to Chicago? Great Czesar's ghost! Last Christmas the family had been talking over how hard the loss of Uncle-Uncle- Uncle Zach, yes, surely Uncle Zach-would be on Aunt Mary. But Uncle Zach's name surely coulcln't be at the morgue! Where would the records be? At the City Hall, of course. That office, curse the luck, must have been one of those I skipped. City Hall, I shrieked, as I made a running broad
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