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Page 65 text:
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xv: mas.. ...ga-. ,I f. . .X,, 4, gr Ma,-iw. it agp!! 3 . ff-:a-'T:'f:.fl5L'ff2Jf!'F1Tl'l -Z':'C'3:l'!Ii'S.'2..J.JL2251751531 ..... ..,... 'I'TSI'?1'JJf.7If.TH!?!!f'72fJ?.'.'.'FL221. . ,..., 4-C X AQ? VX ..., g 0 J f 1 14' .X X 1' w fr N. in 1 1 1 1 'mx lf .. jrffg 3 5: 52 if ,',jge?'ggb!g Ql, Wfl-41472 ii tw sg ,asa rx 55, .9 xxx.. if-' my lil Er f 5: 5! - ra .5323 fi'-1 .... .f' . E! FSVHFL-:' ,.,. If ' 1-. iqeii .... ..,,..., .. 1, . ga. T! s a va: f .:..,a.w ,p,,g:,,. ......,.......,........,.......,..,..............,.,........,......s..,..........-......,....,...,..,............. .........,...........,,.....,.... . .W .,.,. , ,.., ..,.....-...----..W.................,.................-.-...........,............................,. ....... ....,.......-........-.-.....................--.......-....,.,..a.............,........,....... THE WILL OF JANUARY, 1914 FRANCES KA1MAN-january, 1914 Ag QW E, the january Class of the james 155 E. Yeatman High School, of the City of St. Louis, State of Missouri, being Hrm in mind and purpose, do, on this 23rd day of January, 1914, here- by declare this instrument to be our last will and testament, and hereby revoke all former testamentary dispositions of our property, personal and real. Item 1. To our successors, the Class, June, '14, we bequeath all such printed mat- ter heretofore dear to our hearts and known under familiar name of text and history note books, hoping that contents of same may be absorbed with as little agony as possible. Item 2. To Miss Mclieighan. we bequeath all our unused study hours with best wishes that she may herewith constitute from which she may d1'aw ad libitum, and use them to correct papers and prepare some of those coveted exams. Item 3. To our successors in physiog- raphy and commercial subjects of the Class, june, '14, we transfer all claims on that rich storehouse of knowledge. the practical ref- erence library, with all its geographical magazines, atlases and encyclopedias, and commend above mentioned sources to their earnest perusal. Item 4. To such as may be interested in antiques, we bequeath a worthy cane horn in StrifeU rehearsals by our president, said cane to be identified by the inevitable orange bow. Likewise, other theatrical appurtenances such as wigs, old shoes, and scenery, which give great promise of longevity and consequent usefulness. It is our departing wish that they may be used with as great dramatic effect as previously achieved by their great predecessor, the Class, January, 1914. Item 5. To all succeeding classes, we be- queath the scale drawing of our banner, same to be used in the construction of later class emblems g to this valuable bequest we a volume written by Louis Nirdenau add and staff entitled I-Iow to Make a Banner , and commend it as a standard on the diffi- cult art of banner making. Item 6. To our feminine successors of the coming class, we bequeath the former resi- dence of our girls, namely, Paradise Alley , under conditions that lockers therein must be kept free from such good time clews as banana and orange peels, empty candy boxes, morsels of cake,,or anything which might detract from the former dignity of our Hsanctum sanctorum. Item 7. To the lunch room frequenters, we do solemnly bequeath an unlimited sup- ply of angel sandwich, and such privileges as may insure quick service and a hasty exitg aforesaid persons, however, not to exceed the speed limit of one inch per strideg also such pleasant memories of ele- gant menus, as are liable to occur the day after Thanksgiving and the long, dreary hours following the Christmas holidays. Item 8. To this class of June '14, we be- queath the special guardianship of our ban- ner, having fears that its exceeding value and beauty might urge Mr. Kamp to ideas of personal possession. Item 9. To the boys of the Class, June, '14, we bequeath such prayers as Mr. So- and-so, please write in my bookf' and I-Iave you a pen ? just a word or two will do, you know, together with the responses which such pleas may give rise to. Item 10. To our friends in the above mentioned class, we bequeath such happy occurrences as report-card day , this event to take place, however, not without the usual Sixty-one
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Page 64 text:
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.. -.....,,..-.-........ .......-......................................... ....-..-................--,...........,.... ,..,... ...,........4-.-.-......-................--.....w--...-.....-........-...............u-........,.u,....,...........,... --,- ' if ' N, .. ,L , -I M . ,,A., . .. .QI 5 Q ., is 'Y mrs.. w .m.:L....-...-......2 5.,....'-'-- .:,:'I:: '...... LT.......L......-::24:7':. '..:':.......,..... 't '' g:...,'r 1::::1:::.::r:::::1::::':'f-'---22 ' TI-IE JOKE EDITOR IN I-IADES JANE C. GIFFORD-Ex. June, 1914 Scene: The Infernal Regions. Time: At the tiime of lileueas' visit to Hades. ' Clzaracteirs: Aeneas, the S-ibyl of Cunafej Joke Edifovw Mob of To1'1nfenz'ors.' Diiogcn-cs. Dise0t.'e1'ed.' Aeneas and the Sibyl travel- ling to flze Elysian Fields. P' X ENEAS: And who dwells in this dolorous region? Sibyl: This is the home of those who hated their brothers, or failed in their duties to their employers and the community, or who, growing rich, gave no share to others. Here is one who sold his country for gold 5 another who perverted the laws. See, there is Sisyphus, who forever rolls a large rock to the top of that hill, but once there, the rock slips back, and he must try again. Y onder, too, is Tantalus, stand- ing in a pool of water: when he attempts to drink, though, the water flows away. But come, we cannot watch them longer, we must hurry to Anchises. Aeneas: Stay! VVho is this comes slowly along with a rabble at his heels? Sibyl: Ah, he, poor man, is a joke editor. Those with him are his tormentors. Never will they let him know peace until he tells them an original' joke. fEnter Editor and Rabblej First Tormentor: Hear! Hear! He thinks that's a new one! By the shades of niaster's realm, they get worse each day! Come Caranum, go at him, man! Caranum Canother tormentorj : Here's to the Joke Editor! May he live as long as his jokes! First Tormentor: W'ait! Let him try once more. Hast another joke ready for us, Editor? Editor Cwearily reading from manu- script: UA teacher once said to a boy who ts Sixty had his feet out in the aisle and was chew- ing gumn-CGroans from the Rabblej- 'Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in.' CThe Tormentors smile and nod to each other, making fun of the Editor.j Editor: Never mind! I see you're smiling at my jokes! Rabble: Yes, we always smile when we meet old friends. Editor: VVhy, when I first heard that joke, I laughed until my sides ached! Rabble: Yes, so did we. Editor: VVell, then, if you think these jokes are old, And should be on the shelf, just come around, a few of you, And hand i11 some yourself. Rabble: Old! Why they're gray-haired! Ho! Ho! He asks if we think they're old! Ha! Ha! Ha! etc., etc. fThey walk on, laughing and shoutingj Aeneas: Unfortunate wretch! VV ill no one help him? Sibyl: 'Tis of no use. Even Diogenes, with his lantern, has been of no help to him. See! Here he comes now! Enter.Diogenes, carrying a lantern and peering into every corner. Sibyl: Hail, Diogenes! What seek'st thou now? CDiogenes wearily sits down, his head sinks on his breast, and he begins: Time was when I sought, as the rarest thing known, an honest man. But now, for 'tis far rarer, I seek an original joke, that I may relieve my friend, the Editor. Hast heard of any F ' Sibyl: Nog none. Diogenes Carisingj: I pass on then: I have not time to rest. CExit Diogenesj Sibyl: 'Tis sad indeed! But come, Aeneas, or we will never reach thy father! CCurtain.j
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Page 66 text:
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3.-::.'::.z-2.11 . -:a2a4:.L:-.::m4:4r::.:r.g'7::nv::.11L2:::....... ..w:::..-::r:::.:1::.:. .::::::r ------.,-.... 1 L . , - - V YW A -- I ceremonial of ingenious weeping-Smollet style. Item 11. To the Knight owlsl' of June, '14, we bequeath such redeeming occasions as a speech by an unexpected and prolix visitor and at about 10:30 o'clock such joyful remarks as Hurrah, no Latin lesson to- dayf' and Truly, the gods are with me. Item 12. To Mr. Fuller we bequeath such ailments as headaches, due to unreasonable physiography lessons, or aching muscles, resulting from a two-mile walk completed in about twenty minutes. Item 13. To Miss Krumeich we will our sable uniforms, 'lgymu slippers, and such menaces as dumbbells and wands, together with -broken combs, stray bodkins and old bricks used for base marks, hoping that she will cherish them tenderly as tokens from those who meant well, but accomplished little. Item 14. To Mr. Lehrmann, we bequeath such awkward alfairs as a Jump-not-yet , a step or two out of time, together with the groans of the oifenders. Item 15. To our friend, Mr. Stellwagen, we bequeath all the cracked and changing voices, fake notes and nasal solos, which we have outgrown, together with out-of-tune pianos and boisterous applause. Item 16. XVe lastly bequeath to our suc- cessor, our most cherished possession, june, '14, the goodwill handed down to us by our Yeatmanite ancestors. VVe bequeath, fur- thermore, our earnest efforts and our loy- alty, together with the joy and happiness which must need result from such a par- entage. In testimony whereof, we have signed and sealed this instrument, and thereunto set our hands this 23rd day of january, 1914. A. D. 1Vitnesses : XYILLIAM BU'rL1sn, CHARLES B. Gonnxrm. LAVE TAKIN' JEWEL ANTL12-June, 1920 Sure and it's lonesome I am to lave Yeatman, Begorra, I thot I'd be happy, The lockers, the gym, ivery hall, Oh, it's longing I am to stay wid ye, Oi don't want to lave at all, at all. Sure it's sad and I am at the parting, A lump reses up in me throat, I to be after trying to whistle, But I can't sound a shingle note. To lave the zeroes and Pls But there's something else beshicles zeroes, In fact, wan orr two says there's G's. Naw. but spaking now in rale earnest, I love the ould school rale well, And I'1l treasure a sphot in me heart here, In which this grate luve shall dwell. And Illl think of our Yeatman rale often, And Yeatman, I hope, won't forgitt, A student who went there in '20. 7' . In spirit a X eatman-ite yit. Sixty-two
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