Yeatman High School - Yeatman Life Yearbook (St Louis, MO)

Page 67 text:

F A gg5gQg11..1,3...5....4:1:zsgx:.,z.:..1gi:1iii.L:p1if:..t.3,..1i33gqz.i4..r1'111fz:s.g:.gg:,':::sig ,.,. ., ,.,. . . . , 5.47,-I WA: ff 1 ' W Ly, ff if ' zif' 'po' ,f 'jg .E A9 , an Z A WORD FROM THE WISE AUGUST BUELTMANN I 1 AVE you ever sent to a company , i that offers to help you make money l . in your spare time? If you have,you will agree with me that some of the said companies should be prosecuted as base deceivers of the innocent public. If you haven't ventured in this Held of finance, read and take warning. The motto of these concerns seems to be that originated by the late P. T. Barnum, There's a suck- er born every minute. Let us first consider those firms which are supposed to aid the poor housewife wha can't, like the baby in the book, make both ends meet. The first supposed money- maker that comes to hand is the adver- tisement of a knitting company. The heading is: Mrs. Green with one of our ,knitters makes one thousand dollars in one year. Then follows a long biography, telling all about how she and her husband were unable to make both ends meet and were going from bad to worse until she read the advertisement in the paper and sent for a knitter. Now, she owns her home, a car, etc. Some woman sends the attached cou- pon to the company and receives a few days later a bulky package. Opening this, she finds first a bunch of testimonials tell- ing how Mrs. Worth knits with a child on one arm. Several others knit while doing their household work. One peculiar fea- ture is that no one in your own town ever works for the aforesaid company. Last of all, comes a slip of paper on which is print- ed Knitter No. 1-565.003 Knitter No. 2-3380.009 Knitter No. 3-39100.00 Be- fore this, nothing was said about buying the knitter. It is also to be noted that the companies require cash in advance. Then observe the price they pay for socks-one dollar and a half per dozen pairs. The Mrs. Green mentioned must have knitted Pug: Sixty-Six fifteen thousand nine hundred and eighty- four pairs of socks in one year or eighty- eight socks a day including Sundays. Im- possible! Enough of that. Now let us turn to the publishing companies which offer a com- mission to those getting subscriptions for their magazines. Forty cents is the high- est offer for a two-dollar-yearly subscrip- tion. I was sucker enough to bite for that. They sent me literature describing how several people made one hundred dollars per week, among them a college student. This filled me with enthusiasm, but I did not figure that at least the college student must have gotten two hundr'd and fi ty subscriptions per week or thirty-three a day. Well, I went out one day with a sample of the magazines, a receiptbook andasmile. I asked seventy-five people and received seventy-five-not subscriptions, but re- fusals, and that was not counting the many people who would not even answer the bell. I came home footsore and weary. Every sorrow, however, has its balm, so they say. I had heard the police band play at a funeral. This was an amusement and I met the cousin of one whom I ado-- admire a great deal. The next day I tried again and each time received that which was easy to get, a refusal. Then I quit. These companies do not leave even us authors alone. I have seen Hadsnoffering to let you make twenty-five dollars a week. You get that much, perhaps, if you take their course in short story writing, price, in advance, ten dollars. For a last example of financial disap- pointment come the puzzle pictures. Find all the words beginning with Ag one thou- sand dollars offered in prizes. If you buy three three-dollar pencils, or whatever else they're selling, and have the biggest list of

Page 66 text:

7' f ' f ::::mz'ffzi.,M-. -.,,,- 1.,': ,.', ' L'3:f.:, .,., '., Come on, boys. Itls that coon,', said Charley, as he started to run with the light. We followed close behind him. By this time, there were a growl, a whistle, and a few more growls and whistles. This time it was the old Coon We were after. We finally got to where the fight was, and sure enough there was the big coon and the two dogs were having it out with him. Kaiser rushed in and got his hold around the coon's neck. They rolled and fought a- round on the ground until Kaiser was tired. Then we took Kaiser off and turned in Ru- by. She made one dive and had the old coon by the neck. Over and over they went,, first one on top and then the other. Down the hill they tumbled. Still Ruby held ony she wouldn't let go. They fought - V 'iffy ,Z .. ..,.. . , .,,.. ...... ,,,.,.,. ,.-,,, ,..,.. ,.....,,..-M.. ..,., ...,...., ..... ,,......,.... , ,,,,,,,. .. ....,.,,....,,,,,,,J around at the bottom of the hill for a while until the old coon got loose. Up the hill he went Ruby right behind him. When he reached the top, he turned. He rose on his hind legs and made one dive for the dog. He got Ruby by the ear, and of all the howling and whining you ever heard, Ruby did it. He had Ruby going for a while, and down the hill they went a- gain. When they hit the bottom, Ruby was on top. She had her hold for good this time. The old coon was clawing and biting as hard as he could, but still Ruby wouldn't give up. She had him pinned to the ground. She was bearing her strong white teeth into his neck. He began to weaken, and soon he was stretched out on the ground, a dead Coon. iifiig MILADY'S COIFFEURS By ADDIE BEIMES Can't help criticizing them 'em. Wonder where they all come from, The hair styles seen around this place, The down fall of the human race. One day her hair is Hat and curlyg Next day it stands out big and bulky. Monday we think she's had it sheared. Tuesday it's long as Santa's beard. 5 A. M., a short pigtail, 10 A. M., big as a whale, 2 P. M., all frizzled out. 11 A. M., we begin to doubt Whether it is all her own, Except by right of purchase. Page Sixly-F116

Page 68 text:

, ,,,, i i f 15 f V, if , , ., My ,WM 411 ,gf fy f My w:z1ffff,, Cs f . . ff ,,, words, you get five hundred dollars. As a matter of fact, nobody I ever knew got a prize. After this criticism I suppose there will be no more of these advertisements in the magazines. If, however, they still desire to advertise, let me tender them a bit of advice: Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and mention in the ad that the knitter is eighty dol- lars or the course ten dollars. 1 TRIALS ot' the New junior By GLADYS BRYAN I was in the Hrst stage of my high school life-I was a New Junior, For a long time I had wanted to go to the Library, but I al- ways felt a very peculiar shyness among older, intelligent looking students. One day a library slip came into my possession and I decided to make use of it. I had been told that my study hall teacher would sign one part of the slip, which should then be put on file in the Library, but nothing was said of the other part. Accidentally I gave the study-hall teacher the right part 1 in- stinct probably prompting me to get rid of the larger part firstj. This she signed, and I proceeded to the Library. A girl sitting next to me had a book called, The Black Arrow, so I went to the alcove where I saw a boy get her book, and got a copy for myself. Presently, a boy, who seemed to have some authority, tapped me on the shoulder, telling me to make out a receipt for the book and also saying that I should let him get me my book next time. I thought he should have been glad I saved him the trouble. I still had the smaller part of the library slip. I thought it must be useful in some way, but what that way could be I hadn't the slightest idea. I finally decided that something would have to be done with it at once, for I noticed no- body else had one, so I asked the girl with HThe Black Arrowl' what to do with it. She said I should have left it with the study- hall teacher! Now I was in for it. I was afraid to leave the Library and wondered what a Senior would have done in my place. I waited in misery for the end of the hour, my fate seeming to grow blacker and blacker all the time. When the period was over, I rushed to my study hall, and gave the teacher the cause of my trouble. She threw it away! ' Q ' M2539 I 'nge Si.x'.'-v-.S'f':e11