Yale University - Sheffield Scientific School Yearbook (New Haven, CT)

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CLASS PROPHECY As delivered on Class Day by William T. Sperry. ICOKING through the archives of history, we Hnd that Elijah was the last Prophet to make the grade, at least, rumor has it that he went up on high. Now, traditionally, prophets gaze into globes to see into the future, this prophet went around the globe and, strangely enough, saw several of his classmates. It was in the winter of 1945 that the good ship, S .S . Callan, named after that barrel-chested, barrel-bung manufacturer, was scheduled to sail for Havana. Driving down Fifth Avenue on the way to the docks, one could see looming up in the darkness the tall spire of the Combs Corset Corporation building and its emblazoned motto, 5'Satisfaction and Comfort for the Well-Dressed Woman.,' Turning west, we entered the Mazda gulch. All the Broadway playboys were to be seen here and Angie Smith's column on the theatre and its habitues Hashed into our mind. At the end of the Avenue one could see the name Dunbar outlined against the dark buildings. This was the second month that this great lover had been wringing the hearts of the society ladies by his brilliant performance in that scintillating new play, The Dove? Looking up at the moving news strip on the Times building, we glimpsed the news that the Horton filibuster had finally been stopped by the cool thinking of Iack Meehan, the Huey Long of the North, who broke down the mo- rale of his former classmate by serenely handing him a shovel. The taxi turned down a side street and sped towards the piers, and soon We were sailing out of the harbor. There was great excitement in Havana, and every tongue was tell- ing of the great contest to take place that afternoon. It seems that the famous sportsman, Chris Meyer, had brought his string of ponies down from Long Island to face the famous Cuban polo team that Spence Weaver, now running the new Havana Park Lane, had been starring for. As you remember, both these playboys drove Mer- cedes in New Haven. Ted Gardner was there, too, sporting a flashy costume, he said that he had just come down from Virginia, where he had been riding to his famous Elmo pack. The next day our fair ship was heading for the Canal, and soon

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CLASS ORATION 85 fact that many of today's problems will remain unsolved in our life- time. There will be times when the rational process appears wholly unable to cope with the complexity of human affairs. At such times we must have the courage not to throw it away in disgust but to go on groping about in the darkness. But the reward of the ideal is in the knowledge that we are hitch- ing our wagon to an actual star, not tying it Hrmly to a Firecracker. When we examine this ideal more closely we see that it is merely the ideal of science. Of course, when I have said that most of us have not been duped by the Youth formula, I have not proved that we have adopted the ideal of science. I don't think we have. But in those rare moments when we are concerned with anything beyond present pleasures, we may have gone a little way in that direction. It is, it seems to me, the task of Sheff, and one for which it is peculiarly fitted, to strive to make the ideal ever clearer. It is the task of pre- serving, in a world wearily turning to nostrums, the intellectual courage and integrity which alone can find effective remedies for our ills.

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CLASS PROPHECY 87 we were nearing the Hawaiian Islands. Early one morning we over- hauled a tiny ketch fiying a distress flag. Upon drawing nearer, we discovered through the binoculars two prostrate figures in the small vessel. They were taken aboard, and we recognized Bob Gordon, scorched by the sun and emaciated by hunger, and Babbling Brooks. Bob was muttering something about the spirit of the K'G.I.S., and Charlie, although half dead, was heard to croon faintly a few bars of the Song of the Islands. Finally, we pulled into Honolulu. In the distance we could see a great brown giant bestriding a surf board. It turned out to be Dave Livingston, who, it appeared, was still in the swim of things. He and lack Munson were raising pineapples and little brown things with two legs that picked the pineapples and dived for coins in their spare time. Such were the results of Applied Economic Science. Next on the itinerary were the Philippines. Here, one of the larg- est plantations was owned by Bauer, Loud 8: Meffert, Inc. When asked why they had migrated from New York, they said that they had tired of running Tammany Hall so had decided to form a Col- ony of their own on one of the islands. Bombay was the next port of arrival. We expected to see Wheels Wheeler drive up in a sleigh, but the only Yale man in town was George Atterbury. He was now vice-president of the Fly-by-Night Aviation Company, and had secured his position by marrying the fifteen-year-old daughter of the president. Big Billu Carter was chief engineer for the company and had just developed a plane de- signed to carry a maximum number of checkered pants immortal- ized by Lecherous Les McCreath, which were now the rage with the Hindus. Lou Stoner had joined forces with Long John Keeney, and they were now enjoying the fruits of the monopolistic manu- facture of this variegated merchandise. Now the voyage took us up the Red Sea and through the Suez. A short side trip was made into jerusalem to see lim DeAngelis and johnny Dugan, who had taken the vows of the Franciscan order. We thought they might be a little bored by this new life, but, upon asking them what fun they were having, they replied nun. Next, we steamed up to Athens to see the Acropolis. Among the ruins we saw what at first appeared to be a Greek god, but on closer observation we recognized Fitz Quarrier. He and Craig Col- gate were head of a travel tour for tiny totsg George Bradley's three sons were in their group, and there was also a little cube that they said was the pride of the French family.