Yale University - Sheffield Scientific School Yearbook (New Haven, CT)

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TEN BEERS IN JAIL 469 any Wonder that the true student cannot learn to love Keats when surrounded by such scenes? C85 Not only is the serious attitude toward study lacking among the students but also among the professors. There is a certain professor in Sheff who so far forgets the dignity of learning as to insert into his lectures sundry japes and jests, often of a disgustingly coarse character. Indeed, I fail to see how such a jest as the one concerning the offspring of a married bug can in any Way elevate or improve the mind. Not that all humor should be suppressed in the class room. On the contrary, I have often set my mathematics classes into gales of laughter by relating the story of Dr. Johnson who, being assailed by some vulgar Women, told them that they were parallelopipedons. How different is such clean laughter from that raised by the discussion of the marital relations of an insect! SCENE FROM HTHE ICE CARTH OR 'AWINTER ON THE VVATER-WAGON ' ' The curtain rises disclosing the room of Bill Viper and Montmorency Zoolak. It is a typical college room. The Walls are covered with coarse pictures. In the left-hand corner of the room stands a tub of absinthe, in the right a barrel of beer. The two other corners of the room are graced by kegs of Whiskey and gin respectively. On the right there is a fire- place half full of burned text books, and on the mantel an opium smoking outit. In the center of the room there is a roulette table. Bill and Monty are discovered seated in Morris chairs. Monty is looking at a picture. BILL Ctaking a drink of absinthej : Wlio's the jane, Monty? MONTY Ctaking a drink of whiskeyj : L'il friend of mine. BILL Ctaking a drink of ginj : Not the kid you had up at the Prom? I MONTY Ctaking a drink of beerj: I-Iell no. That Was only my fiancee. She's all right to marry or take to the Prom but she's too damn good for company. She doesnlt even chew. Says she thinks it's unladylikc to chew tobacco.

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468 HISTORY OF 1916 S. Raphael was a pretty good painter in his way but he was not a great man. I-Ie never wrote a great soul stirring Quiiproducedj play. All he ever did was to paint the Sistine Madonna. Pooh! C53 Matter has three forms-gaseous, liquid and solid. A gas has no fixed shape. A solid is fixed. All this has really nothing to do with the subject of this book but it ills up space and shows that the author knows all about physics. He can also write plays. DISRESPECT Foa ScHoLARsH1P C55 The boy who, after Christmas vacation, believes that he came to Yale to study is the laughing stock of his class. Many a time I have seen a jovial crowd of students gather about a man and laugh uproariously for several hours at him because he got an A in Railway Transportation. They scorn the boys who do well in their studies. A Yale man will walk two or three blocks any day to scorn a Phi Beta Kappa man. Indeed, many men have refused elections to this society on account of the opprobrium which goes with it. UD This lack of interest in studies is not always due to natural indolence. It is very often the result of excessive indulgence in ice cream soda. Many students are so in the clutches of this vicious habit that their minds refuse to work except when under the iniiuence of chocolate sundaes. I have seen students of astronomy who had to resort to the use of Malted Milk before they could even determine the solar parallax. These noxious drugs stupify both mind and body. It is a common sight to see even youthful Freshmen rolling in the gutters while under the influence of this habit and their fellow students, instead of trying to lead them from the depths to which they have fallen, sneer cynically and leave them to their fate. Is it

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470 HISTORY OF 1916 S. BILL Cshooting himself in the armj : How disgustingly old fashioned. But who's this one? IIIONTY Ctaking a drink of absinthej : 4'Oh, I found her down on Chapel Street. BILL Qsnufling some cokej : How many does that make? MONTY Qtaking a drink of ginj: Forty-six. Pretty good record, I say. Both rush over and drink out of the barrel of beer. Enter Roscoe, the tutor. He is a ine young man-an instructor of mathematics. All instructors of mathematics are ine young men. The author of this play was an instructor of mathematics. BILL Qseeing himj : Blankety blank blank Hit What the hell do you want? 37 in 2,12 I P.-a WFT!!! ,J IW' 2 f E' 'W - FQ' n Q. 2 f I i- :A ...mu EE R E I-gum-I Zi' 'U Iv ' 'Ab , ,. N is b El: 2- -ax?,,... ', I ff Q W 5 ' Iifli' '75 . f? Q J Q F HQ Ig? ' ' ' I . 5 5 .K W . 4 ., , B m, ' Scene from Act I of The Ice Cart Rosoon Cin fine manly tonesj : I had an engagement to tutor you this evening. BILL Qbusiness of cursingj : HI don't feel like tutoring this evening. Here's S500 for the time. Now get the hell out of here. Roscomz Ah, no, my poor young man, I will stay with you and lead you from these paths of vice. MONTY Ctaking a drink of ginj : Soak him, Bill. They both leap upon him and batter him into insensibility. After throwing his quivering carcass outside the door, they fill two glasses with absinthe and dance around the roulette table singing, '4Drunk Last Night' '