Yale University - Sheffield Scientific School Yearbook (New Haven, CT)

Page 455 text:

FOLLIES OF 1916 S. 453 Prime Minister Convention demands that We say something about the battery. 1t'd break Sam Atkins' heart if We didn't. Bring out the armyllllll Chorus men enter, dressed as battery boys Cboy scout suits, etc.D . Band plays military march, I Didn't Raise My Stand To Go To Bridgeport. They drill prettily, wig wag love messages to audience, etc. Band Urnplah, umplah, umplah, umplah. Battery Boys VVe're the men quite military, We are hairy, We are scary In our pretty corset model uniform. We are dainty as a fairy, But they 've found it necessary To print instruction books in euniform. While the drill has never bored usfi We admit the News has floored us With the stuff they ask us all to memorize. You can beat us, you can fine us, You can kick us or confine us, But welll never hear commands Without surprise. Captain Frank Scott Awgwan-yeeeeh whoop! The company presents arms, shoulders arms, drops guns, bayonets each other and one thing and another. Chorus Don't blame the battereeee, If we act kind of simpuleeee! We 're not responsipul For the prime official bull That they feed us, and they read us, America we love you. If we didn't we'd all be free. Ushers laugh here. you 'll agree. salutes,

Page 454 text:

452 HISTORY OF 1916 S. All My gosh that man is tough. Heck! Doggone, he is a roughneck. Qflurtainj ACT II Scene in the wilderness, Sloane Lab in the background. Enter comedians CShaffer, Wliite, Hettlerj disguised as peasa-nts. Shaffer and H ettler do acrobatics, breaking marble slabs over each others' heads withont apparent pain. White meanwhile saws a hole in the ftoor just behind Hettler. H ettler turns, exclaiining, C'-And you're the guy that mussed my bed. Falls in trap. Great applause. Enter hing and retinne. King Come hither, peasant, And forthwith pray, As they taught thee once at the Y. M. C. A. Your end will be unpleasant If you do not forthwith loudly say, Vllhether a Ford with a black-eyed jay, And the fair Fatima passed this way. Peasant We have walked ten miles in the snow and slush, And mud, and sand, and dust, and slush, On the way to the lab, But I'm damned if the party perceived such a crush ln a cab. J ester We 've missed the count. CGrapples with gnardsj Second Peasant QShafferj Since Hrst you spoke, I've been thinking hard CI'm naturally built that Way.j That guy, the count, hangs out at the Garde F CI know the bunch who do, you bet.j So if it isn't raided yet, You 'll find old Bob with the VVith the

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454 HISTORY OF 1916 S. We will go to Mexico, but will never, Never, NO, We will NEVER learn to turn our column three ll Company attempts to turn column three. General confusion. Cannon goes off, killing captain. Beautiful Chorus Girl Three cheers for the boys in brown!! Cheers. American flag falls. All point at it. Audience remains seated. Ofjicer: Freeebeeeer at-Garde! Battery charges down road. QCurtainj ACT III Scene: The slums of a great city. Interior scene in Hotel Garde dining room. Vicious apaches from Academic '16 are seated about, drinking absinthe. Rough looking customer is having row with waiter over the bill. Rough Looking Customer CHigginbothamj sings You pie eyed, skimy, Greasy, slimy G???!!! QQQQ ?'Z?Q2C2 G??!!Q-it Waiter lout! If I should land You with this hand, They'd have to blast it out. On this appears Four dozen beers, 1 And t'Was but three, old scout. All Yes, only three, no doubt! Waiter One keg contains four dozen beers, And that's what he has drunk. A Rough Looking Customer I never drink but thirty-six At once, you dago hunk. 1 For code, see Class Secretary.