YMCA Night Law School - Triangle Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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5 fr Q fvtstxy The Simple Life By LEONARD J ONES Life is a constant struggle, from the first weak gasp for breath to the last spasmodic effort to fill the lungs with the life-giving, incorporeal fluid. And so it was with our hero. He was born into a family which had been blessed by Providence in point of numbers, but the means for supporting and educating said family were as scarce as the proverbial hen's teeth, never- theless he was here and it behooved him to make the best of a bad situation. Before the stork had gotten around the corner the news had spread that another son had been born to Simon and Vera Simple. As the neighbors gathered around and looked at the new arrival, imagina- tions were put to herculean tests in pointing out fancied resemblances on the physiognomy of the newcomer to the long line of his Simple ancestors, it being mutually agreed that the child was beautiful beyond words. However, as they left the farmhouse, one lady was heard to remark that if the child lived to be twenty-one, it would probably outgrow its looks. Suggestions were now in order for a name for the new son. Aunt EHie wanted him called Gulliver because she had once read a lovely book written about a man by that name. Uncle Tom thought he should be called O. Howe Simple, after his grandfather, who was known throughout the country for his prowess as a horse shoe pitcher. Simon Simple was obstinate, however, and insisted that his new son be named Menifee, in honor of a politician who had once given him a half pint of campaign whiskey. This name, being somewhat cumbersome, was later shortened to Fee.', The time sped by and Fee Simple found himself six years of age, and was told that he was to enter school. This information was received jubilantly at first, but when he learned that one of the conditions precedent was having his ears washed daily and his hair combed and brushed, he at once decided that being without Ubook larnin wasn't so bad after all. How- ever, Simon Simple, having himself completed the fourth grade, appreciated the advantages of higher learning, and was determined that Fee should go to school. So the first day of school found him timidly entering the school room behind his sister, his neck and ears still red from the vigorous scrubbing just administered by his mother. Gradually his fea.r was dispelled as he became accustomed to t.he new faces about him, and it was not long before he was using t.he pea shooter with unerring aim, and was recognized as an authority on bent pins. The teacher now became insistent that Fee learn his ABC's. He felt that this would inter- fere seriously with his manufacture of paper wads, but his opinions in the matter were, to his mind. unjustly ignored. and he was required to go to work. This seemed very hard at first, but after learning his letters it was not long before he was deeply engrossed in the story of Ducky Lucky and Chicken Little. 55

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M fl u ,, .3 , 4 lf VSJY' s'-313535-. - ' History ofthe Class of '31 It scarcely seems possible that we have completed our second year at the Y NI C A Law School. To most of us, regular attendance three nights a week is very trying and weeks pass by mighty slow. However, as the end of the school year approaches, time swiftly flies and before one is aware of it, examinations are upon us, followed by a few months vacation. VVhile attending classes, sacrificing our evenings for a legal education, many times we become dis- heartened and discouraged, especially if we have had an irksome day in the course' of our daily vocation. Then we are confronted with the question - is it really worth while? Wfhen in this mental state of depression, one of our fellow students come to our aid, giving us a word of cheer, assuring us our pursuit is not in vain. Then too, some of our instructors, those who have trav- elled the same path, or those who have perhaps made greater sacrifices than we, inspire us to greater heights. Our efforts are resumed, our endeavors fortified, our steps retraced and Bnally all is well. Be of good cheer my fellow student, half the battle is over. Keeping in mind our ultimate goal- our hope of attaining a place among our brothers in the legal fraternity - we press on determined not to permit a sense of discouragement or seeming failure to obscure the object of our endeavors. How true to life are the words of the Immortal Shakespeare All the worldls a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many partsf, Our sophomore class numbers practically the same as did our freshman class. Some addi- tions were made to our class this yearg these comprised of students coming from other law schools. These new members made up for the deficiency due to some leaving us to take up their law work at other schools out of town where they have been stationed, some discontinuing for other reasons. The present sophomore class is proud of their group. Our members are democratic, eager to share their opinions with each other. VVe are all well acquainted with each other and when it is time for humor to be introduced in the class discussions, we know the students who are capable of supplying it. While quite a few of the members of our class reside in our sister state- Kentucky - we hope that if they take Kentucky Bar examinations and are successful, that they will return to the Y M C A Law School and complete the four year course, thus obtaining their degree. IRVINE FORRESTER. 54

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'N ,g If ghw - .-rzfgytg-. tE4TT?t - lVhen Fee Simple was about ten or twelve years of age he and a school chum, both having heard the ca.ll of the wild, left school at morning recess and sought the wide open spaces. Late that night, the call of hunger proving stronger than the call of the wild, they returned to their respective homes. Fee noticed a stern look on his father's face, and what was more ominous, a fresh selection of peach tree switches on the mantel. Fee did some quick thinking. There was only one way to mitigate damages, so he retired to his room in the attic to prepare for the worst, which was not long in making its appearance. Simon called his errant son, and without. further ado, proceeded to give him the licking of his young life. At the first stroke Fee let out a howl that sounded very much like Israel mourning for its first born, the tears falling like an April shower. After the chastisement, he again retired to the attic and there removed three suits of heavy underwear, two pairs of pants, four shirts and a Bouvier's Dictionary. The New Girl moved into the neighborhood and took a seat across the aisle from Fee. He immediately took a new interest in life and astonished his mother by offering to wash his neck himself. Soon a decided slump in revenue derived from the poultry was experienced, and upon investigation it was discovered that young Fee was purloining the product of the hennery and trading same for apples, oranges and candy at the store at Nubloin Center, which articles he was bestowing upon the lady of his choice. The Smith boy had long been making sheep's eyes at the New Girl, but while the fruit and candy lasted he did not have a Chinaman's chance. He was unable to alienate the fair one's affections even by permitting her to chew his gum. During the period Fee Simple was tolerated in the elementary schools, he learned a lesson which proved invaluable to him in later years, but this lesson was not derived from books. One day while out hunting, he found a hole in the ground, which, prima facie, was the domicile of Br'er Rabbit. YVith visions of rabbit hash, he procured a long stick and began poking in the hole, at the same time, as was his wont, allowing his lower jaw to sag down from its better half some two or three inches. It so happened that Br'er Rabbit had just recently been disseised of his freehold by one Nfr. Skunk, who upon perceiving himself disturbed in the peaceful enjoy- ment of his property, at once brought an action in ejectment, which gained speedier relief than was ever granted by any court of justice. Feeis eyes, mouth and nose received a generous charge of the world's most potent stink. He rolled over and over, praying for death, but death was withheld by an unkind Providence. He started groping his way home, finding himself shunned as though he were a leper. His mother refused him admission, requiring that he go to the barn, take a bath in the horse trough, and make a complete change of clothes. Since this episode, on being kidded about the size of his nose, Fee Simple replied that he learned at an early date to keep it out of other people's business, thus giving it a chance to grow. Eventually Fee was ready to attend High School, which was some fifteen miles away. New clothes had to be purchased, and with that in mind he trapped, shelled walnuts and did odd jobs for the neighbors until he had accumulated the sum of 551200, half of which was given to an enterprising vendor of Jewish Hardware as payment in full on one Full-peg suit of clothes, at least two sizes too large. VVhile the suit was being Htted, the merchant, by taking up the slack with his hands as Fee was examining the fit in the back, and vice versa when he was looking at himself in the mirror from the front, made Fee believe he was a second Lord Chesterfield, and the suit was borne away in triumph. ' 56