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Page 11 text:
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If you happen to go past where you had been really trying to go, don ' t worry because you can just turn around and go back, you know what I mean, you can go either way you want and it ' s really easier to go backward. Just think you ' ve been doing it by reading all of these words. Do you understand, if so then you are really fucked up and are now ready to begin the Registration Game. Before you begin make sure you have got everything you need, you may be there for a while. Here is a suggested list: 3 pairs of socks, a box of kleenex, 5 slim jims, 1 pound of yoghurt, 2 grams of coke, a can opener and a straw. Your fate has been predetermined by the almighty computer so now without hesitation or utter panic you should approach the gameboard, following the instructions without question. THE REGISTRATION GAME (for 2 to 2000 players) in co-operation with the people in the Registrar ' s office. The Peddler presents this exciting game of chance which is intended to assist you in that hateful task of Registration. It is not really necessary for us to give you all of these instructions, for most of you have played it at least once, the rest can bumble through as you will the next time, when it ' s real. For those of you who prefer to bumble or is it babble, they also say some do both yet not necessarily concurrently but rather oh by the way who is or are they . Nevertheless those who do bumble should not require these instructions either but we will continue to state them since we need to fill space as you might guess when you see all of the foolish cards for you to cut out and consequently we begin this game by writing each player(s) Box number within a mailbox token and then placing all boxes (after a fold has been effected upon the dotted line) at the mailbox on the gameboard determining the playing order by each player ' s spinning the spinner and ordering them by starting from the middle number and working to both ends concurrently and in case of a tie the player who is wearing two different colored socks or carrying a ripe pommagranet in his armpit wins out, if one player has both two different socks and a pommagranet he is disqualified and is banished to WACCC. Speaking of WACCC, the almighty computer has decreed that you chose three cards, at random obviously, for if you had really thought you would do it in some kind of orderly manner then you are wasting your time. Why is everyone so anxious to finish reading these instructions just think the you ' ll have to play the game. Isn ' t it more fun to just sit back and watch us be insane or is it insane either way you will soon be if you aren ' t already. For those of you who feel this game takes XlVi times as long and requires immense fortitude of wit and a good supply of dope and dopes we all must be to be here in the first place remember you paid for this so we ' re going to give you what you paid for, a chance to spin for the number of spaces you are allowed to progress but after all that really isn ' t progress so we ' re safe to continue with the requirements which are as we all know to acquire three course admission cards in any one of many ways but first you must make two groups of cards one containing signature cards the other containing all other cards these are the cards from which the original three are chosen. To Start the Game Each player should pick a token and write his her mailbox number in the appropriate place. Spin to determine who starts first, the high number first, and then go in order of decreasing numbers. Draw three instruction cards, these objectives must be met in addition to requiring 3 course admission cards. Course admission cards may be obtained in two ways, either by drawing them initially, or collecting both an advisors and dept. head signature card. GOOD LUCK Here are some helpful suggestions from letters received from veteran players: Marvini Sheddluell found it very helpful to bring his pet gaduark to all marathon games thus eliminating the need to carry as many Kleenex. Another player, a six year chemical Enginnering major, packs a canister of N 2 which can be opened yielding a momentary relaxation of the pressures of a waiting line giving this resourceful student enough time to rush to the front of the line in anxious anticipation of Dean Van A ' s recovery. You too can succeed at this game if you use all of your faculties, of course the faculty could be a great help to you but don ' t count on it they often have trouble counting heads thats a good idea too then you won ' t have to interrupt the game to relieve yourself. It is often handy to have a number of other items with you, but I forgot what they were so you ' ll have to figure that out for yourself.
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