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Page 25 text:
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Page 24 text:
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THE ORACLE Richards, L. Adams, and P. Landman have given up their lease on freedom to become school teachers at Columbia. H. Beehler, F. Benson, B. Birch, M. Cochran, and A. Somers were going through their tenth season as debutantes. They said that M. Ross is running a dairy near a stock farm owned by C. Hall, V. Hammock, A. Hornberger, and F. Kelly, the settled old maids. We heard that E. Eschelback had employed C. Fitzpatf rick, A. Frueauif, D. Meyer, and C. Smith as stenographers for the Amalgamaf ted Cheese Factory. You know, of course, that D. Raymond Alexander is rated as the world's greatest radio crooner, and is accompanied by M. Anderson. Our fa' mous artists, McMillan, Myres, Chiaranf tano, and Bernius were painting dog collar ads for Mexican hairless pups. We also met our distinguished representatives in the world of physical culture. They are L. Miler, D. Zipin, S. Dubowsky, and C. Adler. Our friends, E. Diers, E. Nelp, and F.. Elo, are now married, and are broad' casting daily their helpful hints to house' wives. Oh, well, they should know! While sojourning at Woolworths, we met Dot Cox, A. Comer, and F.. Sailor, the debate champions. They told us that Minnie Schenk and P. Brockman have Hnally grown up. After finishing the prolonged stay in New York, we sailed out of the harbor on a ship of which R. Miller is captain, not expecting any more encounters with former friends. All of a sudden, however, we noticed P. Harriet Adsetts, H. Kurz, M. Kuyper, R. Bromley Brinkmeyer, Kahle, and Wietholter who were embarked on the Sea of Matrimony in a leaky rowboat fand sinking fastj. They told us that H. Schmitt and F.. Rothfuss have also sucf cumbed. But R. Frey and Jo Hutchif son have renounced women and have joined the French Foreign Legion. How' ever, Mormile, Kallendorf, and Mahaffey have gone them one better by becoming undertakers to take care of the patients of Dr. L. Klein and Nurse T. Powell. When we were about two days out, we noticed W. Stross, Theil, and Thielmeyer, the renowned deep sea divers plying their trade. When we reached Paris, we visited the Bogie de Beau Shoppe where J. Duck' worth, D. Ziegenhardt, A. Campolongo, and Peggy Gividen were working as models. We ran,across little Vivian Folks, who had become a designer of genuine French styles. Cur greatest honor came, however, when we were granted an inter' view with Professor S. Joseph Lawwill, who had just startled the world by dis' covering the method of trisecting an acute angle and doubling a cube. We also met the other famous men, Jack Floyd, Cornef lius, and Sonnenschein, who had just com' pleted their theory of the Fifth Dimenf sion. When we reached Germany, the first person we met was F.. Rotte, chief beer sampler for the Munchausen Brewery. He took us to hear C. Howell Cal1ahan's Cer' man band at a famous beer garden. The orchestra was featuring N. Tait and his jews harp and the StreetfWeber duet team. We met G. Becker, I. Mayer, and R. Thomas, the lawyers who told us that Heitz and Retszch were still punching holes in doughnuts. We were riding through Venice when we saw Schmick and Schmidt, who had just been arrested for wrecking the lovely canals by driving their speed boats at eighty per. We also ran across Ragman Carmosino still skinning the public by sell' ing skidless spaghetti. Marguerite Norton, the famous Spanish interpreter, just wrote us that Al Dressing has been made principal of Hughes. No' body would have expected such treason from Al! H. Latham, E. Minks, and C. fCo'ntinued on page 35, 22
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