Woodward High School - Treasures Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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jjlfilllsfkgg llDRlDlll9llfllllE5ll2Clfl EDITORlS NOTE: We found this docw ment in our mail box. The things reported are so strangely ont of relation to all sense of time that we can only suspect that the young travelers, Dorothea Bock and Or' vine Price, must have entered one of the rockets they describe and must have been shot out of time and space into 1943. Def cide for yourself whether they were actnf ally shot or merely halffshot. THE RIVIERA, july 4, 1943. Dear Mr. Macke: We are over here in Europe having a grand time. When we heard that you were made City Manager of Cincinnati, we def cided. to write you our congratulations and to tell you all about our pleasant trip. Right off, when we reached New York, we saw Nelson Achzehner, famous conf noisseur of women, with his follies girls, M. Gudgeon, C. Van Combos, O. Nineff, Rose Lynch, and R. Diers. In the same night club, we were surprised to find a talented trio including A. Armor, J. Frost, and L. Slusser accompanied by M. Ehrenf berg and Rubinoff Nuhring. Our old classfmates, Posey, Oden, and Rousseau were waitersfinfchief, while M. Taylor, Parker, and Ralls were doing specialty tap dances. We visited Marie Norton and Norma Stuhlman, who were running a school for gold diggers on Broadway with A. Back, J. O'Connell, and R. Reams as students. We saw Autenrieb, L. Brown, and Bell drive ing steam shovels under the supervision of Collins. Before we could speak to them, we noticed policemen Bierbaum, Tessel, and Weeks on their motorcycles chasing Mastrullo, the millionaire playfboy. By the way, Bellstedt, Dahling, and Murphy are employed as salesmen for a flea exterminaf tor company. Donaldson, Henn, Horton, and Moran were just elected city dog' catchers. Caito and Hicks were selling sudless soap on the corner near the one where Fiermark and Weiner were peddling fish. Lloyd Floyd and Grimm were jointly running a hand laundry. Fricke and Marge Boehm have been jerking sodas for Fricke Bros., Inc. One afternoon we met John R. Salzman, who is reputed to be rushing a certain New York debutante for her money. He told us that Clemmie Kovach, and M. L. Franklin are married to prize fighters. Ward and Simpson were running a combination barber shop and shoe shin' ing parlor, with V. Bounds, W. Craig, and C. Robinson as manicurists. B. Gare ner, M. Baxter, and C. Rogers were tele' phone operators at the Ritz. When we went to the Roxie to see H. Lykins' latest picture, in which L. McCoy plays, we heard M. ,Gray and MacFat' ridge, the harmony boys, and met little Eva Camery, the star reporter of the New York Times. Imagine our surprise when we almost ran down F. Taylor, E. Sweeny, R. Schoenle, and B. Schoondorp, who were doing house to house canvassing with Real Silk Stockings. We lunched with Douthit, newly elected president of the famous New York Insurance Company. His secretary is M. Winterhalter. We saw Freese, Martin, Kofi, and Epstein in the same hash house. They are agents for the Heckova Watch Company, having as their motto, time and tide wait for no man. They told us that A. Moscovitz, L. Whiteford, M. 21

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THE ORACLE

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THE ORACLE Richards, L. Adams, and P. Landman have given up their lease on freedom to become school teachers at Columbia. H. Beehler, F. Benson, B. Birch, M. Cochran, and A. Somers were going through their tenth season as debutantes. They said that M. Ross is running a dairy near a stock farm owned by C. Hall, V. Hammock, A. Hornberger, and F. Kelly, the settled old maids. We heard that E. Eschelback had employed C. Fitzpatf rick, A. Frueauif, D. Meyer, and C. Smith as stenographers for the Amalgamaf ted Cheese Factory. You know, of course, that D. Raymond Alexander is rated as the world's greatest radio crooner, and is accompanied by M. Anderson. Our fa' mous artists, McMillan, Myres, Chiaranf tano, and Bernius were painting dog collar ads for Mexican hairless pups. We also met our distinguished representatives in the world of physical culture. They are L. Miler, D. Zipin, S. Dubowsky, and C. Adler. Our friends, E. Diers, E. Nelp, and F.. Elo, are now married, and are broad' casting daily their helpful hints to house' wives. Oh, well, they should know! While sojourning at Woolworths, we met Dot Cox, A. Comer, and F.. Sailor, the debate champions. They told us that Minnie Schenk and P. Brockman have Hnally grown up. After finishing the prolonged stay in New York, we sailed out of the harbor on a ship of which R. Miller is captain, not expecting any more encounters with former friends. All of a sudden, however, we noticed P. Harriet Adsetts, H. Kurz, M. Kuyper, R. Bromley Brinkmeyer, Kahle, and Wietholter who were embarked on the Sea of Matrimony in a leaky rowboat fand sinking fastj. They told us that H. Schmitt and F.. Rothfuss have also sucf cumbed. But R. Frey and Jo Hutchif son have renounced women and have joined the French Foreign Legion. How' ever, Mormile, Kallendorf, and Mahaffey have gone them one better by becoming undertakers to take care of the patients of Dr. L. Klein and Nurse T. Powell. When we were about two days out, we noticed W. Stross, Theil, and Thielmeyer, the renowned deep sea divers plying their trade. When we reached Paris, we visited the Bogie de Beau Shoppe where J. Duck' worth, D. Ziegenhardt, A. Campolongo, and Peggy Gividen were working as models. We ran,across little Vivian Folks, who had become a designer of genuine French styles. Cur greatest honor came, however, when we were granted an inter' view with Professor S. Joseph Lawwill, who had just startled the world by dis' covering the method of trisecting an acute angle and doubling a cube. We also met the other famous men, Jack Floyd, Cornef lius, and Sonnenschein, who had just com' pleted their theory of the Fifth Dimenf sion. When we reached Germany, the first person we met was F.. Rotte, chief beer sampler for the Munchausen Brewery. He took us to hear C. Howell Cal1ahan's Cer' man band at a famous beer garden. The orchestra was featuring N. Tait and his jews harp and the StreetfWeber duet team. We met G. Becker, I. Mayer, and R. Thomas, the lawyers who told us that Heitz and Retszch were still punching holes in doughnuts. We were riding through Venice when we saw Schmick and Schmidt, who had just been arrested for wrecking the lovely canals by driving their speed boats at eighty per. We also ran across Ragman Carmosino still skinning the public by sell' ing skidless spaghetti. Marguerite Norton, the famous Spanish interpreter, just wrote us that Al Dressing has been made principal of Hughes. No' body would have expected such treason from Al! H. Latham, E. Minks, and C. fCo'ntinued on page 35, 22