Woodward High School - Saga Yearbook (Toledo, OH)

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THE ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSOR As the N. Y. C. slowly groaned its way into the great metropolis, Chicago, the professor settled back into his seat with a look of triumph on his intellectual physiognomy. He might well look triumphant. Had he not just solved that one, trying, deceitful algebra problem which had kept him awake many a night after twelve o'clock? VVould he not spring this joker on his class as soon as he returned? The professor. by the way. commonly known among the students as Mr. XYZ, taught algebra in one of the Toledo high schools. He was. as some of his pupils said, all wrapped up in his subject. He thought in algebraic termsg he simplified all the intricate equations of life: he factored everything. However, there was one other subject that Mr. XYZ loved and considered on an equal basis with algebra, and that was-his wife. His thoughts turned to her now as the car came to a sudden stop and a great voice boomed out t't'hicago. Hurriedly he picked up the many papers which contained his precious algebra and stuffed them into his pocket. Then he made his way. traveling bag in hand, down the aisle and otf the train. Taxi, Sah! Right this way sah, yelled a young gentleman of a chocolate complexion. Now. Mr. XYZ would certainly never have taken a taxi under ordinary cir- cumstances, but just at this particular moment he felt very elated and successful, for the algebra papers in his pocket rustled joyfully. and he was soon going to see his wife. All right then, he added more to himself than to the shining brown man at the wheel, the quicker the betterf' then he added in a louder tone. Show some speed. 'VVashington. Washingtoufthat truly happened to be his name- jumped quickly from his perch and opened the door for the professor. Q l An to which does yo all want to have me deliver yo. sah? he questioned when the professor was seated comfortably in the rear. XVhat'? said Mr. XYZ blankly. XVhat was that you said? Where to. reiterated XVashington. as Where to, echoed Mr. XYZ in a queer voice. Uh. yes. yes of course, they moved but- Here he stopped suddenly and began to search desperately for something. Hut came all the algebra papersg out came pencils and out came dozens of other small articles, but evidently the right one refused to appear. For three minutes the search continuedg for three minutes the sweat poured from the professor's feverish brow. Then NVashington spoke up. Could ah be of some desistence to yo sah ? M Heavens no! no! how could you? llon't know sah. replied XVashington. But p'raps if ah knowed some- thin' what 'twas all 'hout? Well. you see. it's just like this. began the professor to lVashington's immense satisfaction. My wife went to Chicago to visit her parents who had moved recently, and l was to come here today to accompany her home. Yas. yas sah. said XVashington, nodding his head knowingly. NYell, what am l going to do about it? asked the professor in an irate tone. li Do 'bout which? VVhy, how will l ever find her--when l left the address of their residence home. 7. 100

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'tOh, said XVashington. Then after a few minutes of serious thinking he stated sorrowfully, lt looks lak a mighty hard problem to me, sah. Yes, said the professor, you are right. It is a problem, and then he added bitterly, it certainly has an unknown quantity, too. A few hours later a rather stout, exhausted looking gentleman, carrying a traveling bag, might have been seen slowly entering Kent's Real Estate Office. Ah, as he wearily climbs the steps, we recognize our old friend Mr. XYZ. What can he be muttering to himself so disgustedly? Perhaps if we sneak up quietly behind him we can hear. This is the thirteenth and last place I will enter today. My, what a stupid bunch of individuals Chicago is composed of. l'an't even locate a man's wife, and that young fool in the last oliiee seemed to think there was something funny about it. Don 't believe I'll go in here after all. Might be some smarty-- NVl1y. I wonder why l didn't think of that before. I'll call up our next door neighbors right away. -lim could climb in some window and get it. Five minutes later we find Mr. XYZ at the telephone booth, waiting patiently for an answer to his long distance eall. Ting a ling. Hur-rar-r. Hello. Hello, is this -lim 's wife? No, this is Mrs. --iv, but I'll call her. VVhat! No, No, No, yelled Mr. XYZ. XVho did you say you were! HMrs. -lg said the voice at the other end. t'VVell of all the towers in -lerusaleml I thought you were in Chica.go,' said the professor. UNO, I'm here-at our neighborsf' said the voice which we know now must belong to the professor's wife. Did you forget that I was coming home two days ago J? YVell, maybe l did, said the professor. but why didn 't you wait until I came for you Because I was afraid yon would think you had forgotten the address' Think I had forgotten it. I know I did. No, said Mrs. XYZ. I put it in the bottom of your traveling bag before I went, and forgot to tell you. Oh, said the professor faintly, and hung up the receiver. -Mildred Gilson tTl1e Endl 101