Woodland High School - Jewel Yearbook (Woodland, ME)

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'I' II E J E VV E L 41 Ginny Leeman had been losing chick- ens from her farm. She inserted the fol- lowing' advertisement in the local news- paper: Anyone found near my chicken house at night will be found there the next morning. No more chickens have been missed. it fl? it Pl? ae Mrs, Leighton: The Ken. Ken Califsent-niindedlyD: HI can't see him. Tell him I'm sick. doctor is here, se ,Xi Sli as its they call those write on?l' Rita: Mc: Gaul stones. Gloria C.:: '4lVl1at to tablets the Gauls used to Sk IX! Pl? fl? fl? Caller: 'Tm a bill collector, lady. Mrs. Nuwed: Just a moment, and I'll show you the biggest collection of bills you ever saw! fl? SF it SF S? Dear old Soul Cvisiting her very sick brotherj: 'Tve had a very nice letter from Emily. She says she's so sorry she ainlt able to come and see you but she hopes to be able to come to the funeral. Sk HK: it S8 PK: R. James: I've finished with that girl. E, Mitchell: Why'? R-. James: She asked me if I dan- ced. E. Mitchell: What'si so insulting- about that T' R. James: I was dancing with her when she asked me. 36 SF it 'KK HKS Kitty: Gracious, it's been five years since I've seen you. You look lots olderf' Kat: Nlieally, my dear? I donft think I would have recognized you if it Weren't for that coat. t'Are your father and mother in? asked the visitor of the small boy who opened the door. '4They was in, said the child, 'ibut they is out. They was in, they is out. XVhere's your grammar? 'KShe's gone upstairs, said the boy, for a laydownf' ll? ae elif 26 ae A New Version Little Boy treading item from Man- churial : lVhat does it mean here Oy seasoned troops, Dad T' Dad Cimmediatelyj: Mustered by the officers and peppered by the enemy. ' IK: it PK: :lt elk Rocked to Sleep An old darkey went to the judge and wanted to have his wife arrested for rocking' him to sleep. HYYhy man, said the judge, you can't have your wife arrested for rock- ing' you to sleep! That's all right, judg'e, replied the darkey, 'ibut you should have seen the rockfl SK: :lt SE SF 26 Observant Child The primary teacher was helping the children to tell the difference between the letters dl, and Nb. Johnnie, how can we tell these let- ters apart ? asked the instructor. lVell, answered the lad, one has its stomach in the front and the other has it in the back. HK! Blk it Sk SF Frankly Puzzled HYou canlt have it l said his mo- ther. 'tIIaven't I said 'No' six times al- re'ady?l' All right, murmured the angel child, But I wonder where Dad gets the idea that you're always changing' your mind.

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Jokes Professor: t'Mr, Jones, I hate to tell you this, but your son is a moron. Father: NYhere is he? I'll teach that young man to joiun a fraternity without consulting me first! 77 Sli Fl if SX: :Xl Lady qt' the House: XVho was that on the phone, Velma? Velma.: Nobody, ma'm: just 3 girl who said, it's a long distance from New York. and I said, tit surely is' and then hung upf, SG :li 112 its 311 Mr. Leighton: 'tLook at those baggy trousers! VVhy, Mr. Diadone, your suit actually looks as if it's been slept in. Francis: t'IYell, it has. You see, I wore it to your lecture yesterday morn- ing. SF elk :Xi it SX! Tests First Mosquito: YVhy are you mak- 77 ing such a fuss? Second Mosquito: '4VVhoo ee! I 'ust P J passed the screen testf, its :Xi SF SF Sk Poor Grannie ! Mummy was listening to little Den- nis saying his prayers, while Grannie sat knitting. Toward the end of his prayers, Mummy was surprised to hear her little son raise his voice and positively roar: 'tAnd please, can I haye a bicycle for my birthday? UBut, darlingf' she protested, God isn't. deaf! HNo, answered the little chap ser- iously, but Grannie is! Oiice Practice A fiery tempered Southern gentle- man wrote the following letter: Sir, my stenographer, being a lady, cannot type what I think of you. I, be- ing a gentleman, cannot dictate it. You, being neither, will understand what I meanfl 4? :Xe Sk ak 'lk Mr. XVilson: Every day we breath oxygen. lYhat do we breathe at night, Miss Morrison? Honey: Nitrogen. SF S? Sli 9? ll' Mr. Bellandi: IIave'n't you sent out those circular letters yet? Johnny: t'No, sir. I could find H0 circular envelopes. 77 SF SF SF :lk if K. Dudley: 'tThis photograph makes me look older than I really am. Mr. Young: VVell, that will save you the expense of having one taken later onf, SX' FX: SF SF St A little girl, Rita McCarthy, was asked how she was feeling. HI was very well until the other day, thank you. she said, Hand then the doctor came and fas- cinated me. I haven't been, so well since. :Ks :Xi PX! elk if HDo you wish the court to understand that you refuse to renew your dog li- cense ? Yes, your honor, but- Vile want no buts. The license has expiredf, 'tYes, and so has the dog.

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THE JEWEL fp WOULDN'T THE SENIOR CLASS SEEM QUEER IF: Elston Mitchell-ever graduated? Velma Caird-wasn't pretty? Charles Helfen-ever did his own home-work? Alice Haley-didn't have a new dress? Mavis MacPhail-stopped chewing gum? Gloria Cox-didn't ride to school in a truck? Rita McCarthy-went on a diet? Frances Diadone-grew three inches? Madeline Turner+cut her finger-nails? Anona VVest-ever forgot to do an assignment? Julia Tammero-wasn't talking? Or didn't have a temper? NVinifred Perkins-spoke up in class? ' Donald VVallace-had never met Phyllis? Marguerite Aylward-had a hair out of place? Lawrence IVal1ace-got on the honor roll? Ronald Johnson-developed a new laugh? Leta Matthews-couldn't tell the Twins apart? Michael Ohabak-Hirted with the girls? Maxine Shain-could,n't type? Muriel Mooreside-Wasnlt so shy? Virginia Leeman-didn't blush? Gerald Fountain-had false teeth? Blair Brown-was without a girl? Ralph James-wasn't talking about the Calais girls? Philip Robb-had a lot of energy in class? VVinona Tracy-had a boy friend? Kenneth Leighton-grew to be six feet tall? Edward Kneeland-was quiet? Kay Dudleyiwasnnt laughing? Vern Landry-was noisy? ,Xl 411 If 'K Ik IVOULDNWI' OUR JUNIOR CLASS SEEM QUEER IF: Dorothy Smith-didn't study Ralph Dorr-acted his age? Ernest Grecco-had straight hair? Homer Townsend-knew his theorem in geometry? Elizabeth James-wasn't talking? Marie MacI'herson-wasn't with Elizabeth? Effie Perkins-didn't like boys? Ernest Hood-had a shave?