Woodland High School - Jewel Yearbook (Woodland, ME)

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Jokes Professor: t'Mr, Jones, I hate to tell you this, but your son is a moron. Father: NYhere is he? I'll teach that young man to joiun a fraternity without consulting me first! 77 Sli Fl if SX: :Xl Lady qt' the House: XVho was that on the phone, Velma? Velma.: Nobody, ma'm: just 3 girl who said, it's a long distance from New York. and I said, tit surely is' and then hung upf, SG :li 112 its 311 Mr. Leighton: 'tLook at those baggy trousers! VVhy, Mr. Diadone, your suit actually looks as if it's been slept in. Francis: t'IYell, it has. You see, I wore it to your lecture yesterday morn- ing. SF elk :Xi it SX! Tests First Mosquito: YVhy are you mak- 77 ing such a fuss? Second Mosquito: '4VVhoo ee! I 'ust P J passed the screen testf, its :Xi SF SF Sk Poor Grannie ! Mummy was listening to little Den- nis saying his prayers, while Grannie sat knitting. Toward the end of his prayers, Mummy was surprised to hear her little son raise his voice and positively roar: 'tAnd please, can I haye a bicycle for my birthday? UBut, darlingf' she protested, God isn't. deaf! HNo, answered the little chap ser- iously, but Grannie is! Oiice Practice A fiery tempered Southern gentle- man wrote the following letter: Sir, my stenographer, being a lady, cannot type what I think of you. I, be- ing a gentleman, cannot dictate it. You, being neither, will understand what I meanfl 4? :Xe Sk ak 'lk Mr. XVilson: Every day we breath oxygen. lYhat do we breathe at night, Miss Morrison? Honey: Nitrogen. SF S? Sli 9? ll' Mr. Bellandi: IIave'n't you sent out those circular letters yet? Johnny: t'No, sir. I could find H0 circular envelopes. 77 SF SF SF :lk if K. Dudley: 'tThis photograph makes me look older than I really am. Mr. Young: VVell, that will save you the expense of having one taken later onf, SX' FX: SF SF St A little girl, Rita McCarthy, was asked how she was feeling. HI was very well until the other day, thank you. she said, Hand then the doctor came and fas- cinated me. I haven't been, so well since. :Ks :Xi PX! elk if HDo you wish the court to understand that you refuse to renew your dog li- cense ? Yes, your honor, but- Vile want no buts. The license has expiredf, 'tYes, and so has the dog.

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Boys' Athletics BOYS' BASKETBALL The boys had a good season and played together very well. A few of last year's players have left, but tl1eir places have been filled. The regulars for this year have been: Philip Robb, Ken- neth Leighton, George Slefinger, Ralph James, and Walter Gogging and the subs are: Charles Helfen, Jack Mooreside, Harold Morrison, Paul Barnard and Mich- ael Chabak. The boys showed good sportsmanship and fought to Win every game. They Won 10 games out of 14. The team also played in the tourna- ment which was held at Calais and lost both games. The first was lost to Dan- forth and the second to Machias. Date Dec Dee Dec Dec. Dec Jan, Jan J arn. Jan Jan Jan Feb Feb. Feb The following' Danforth Machias St. Stephen W. S. N. S. 1VasVh. Academy St. Stephen Lubec Wash. Academy Danforth Calais Eastport Lnbec Eastport Calais Micha is a list of the games XV. H. S. Opp 14 42 36 22 30 41 49 32 17 27 28 23 11 34 el Chabak

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'I' II E J E VV E L 41 Ginny Leeman had been losing chick- ens from her farm. She inserted the fol- lowing' advertisement in the local news- paper: Anyone found near my chicken house at night will be found there the next morning. No more chickens have been missed. it fl? it Pl? ae Mrs, Leighton: The Ken. Ken Califsent-niindedlyD: HI can't see him. Tell him I'm sick. doctor is here, se ,Xi Sli as its they call those write on?l' Rita: Mc: Gaul stones. Gloria C.:: '4lVl1at to tablets the Gauls used to Sk IX! Pl? fl? fl? Caller: 'Tm a bill collector, lady. Mrs. Nuwed: Just a moment, and I'll show you the biggest collection of bills you ever saw! fl? SF it SF S? Dear old Soul Cvisiting her very sick brotherj: 'Tve had a very nice letter from Emily. She says she's so sorry she ainlt able to come and see you but she hopes to be able to come to the funeral. Sk HK: it S8 PK: R. James: I've finished with that girl. E, Mitchell: Why'? R-. James: She asked me if I dan- ced. E. Mitchell: What'si so insulting- about that T' R. James: I was dancing with her when she asked me. 36 SF it 'KK HKS Kitty: Gracious, it's been five years since I've seen you. You look lots olderf' Kat: Nlieally, my dear? I donft think I would have recognized you if it Weren't for that coat. t'Are your father and mother in? asked the visitor of the small boy who opened the door. '4They was in, said the child, 'ibut they is out. They was in, they is out. XVhere's your grammar? 'KShe's gone upstairs, said the boy, for a laydownf' ll? ae elif 26 ae A New Version Little Boy treading item from Man- churial : lVhat does it mean here Oy seasoned troops, Dad T' Dad Cimmediatelyj: Mustered by the officers and peppered by the enemy. ' IK: it PK: :lt elk Rocked to Sleep An old darkey went to the judge and wanted to have his wife arrested for rocking' him to sleep. HYYhy man, said the judge, you can't have your wife arrested for rock- ing' you to sleep! That's all right, judg'e, replied the darkey, 'ibut you should have seen the rockfl SK: :lt SE SF 26 Observant Child The primary teacher was helping the children to tell the difference between the letters dl, and Nb. Johnnie, how can we tell these let- ters apart ? asked the instructor. lVell, answered the lad, one has its stomach in the front and the other has it in the back. HK! Blk it Sk SF Frankly Puzzled HYou canlt have it l said his mo- ther. 'tIIaven't I said 'No' six times al- re'ady?l' All right, murmured the angel child, But I wonder where Dad gets the idea that you're always changing' your mind.