Woodlan Senior High School - Arrow Yearbook (Woodburn, IN)

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chamber for complaining patients. Things were much quieter after that. All you could hear was a plunk and cry of timber a s a limb fell. But some people say he ran out of bones or patients. Gossips have it that he couldn't keep his mind on his work because of Carolyn and he sawed off one too many limbs. Anyhow he is now a human guinea pig for Armour and Armour. if nr 4 Ax Here is something I never thought would happen. Barbara Brager was the girl who always liked to sing and draw, and wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. After spending many years in college and doing all kinds of practice and experimental teaching, she gave up her ambition to raise a kindergarten of her own. :of sf x: if Newspaper syndicates have at last discovered some one to replace the greatly missed Dorothy Dix. Lovers the world over, sought advice in her letters to the love lorn. When they discovered Marjorie Bumpus' column in Woodburn News, she was immediately put on the editorial staff of Ft. Wayne News Sentinel and has been syndicated at a huge salary. The letter which caught the attention ofthe editors reads as follows: Dear Miss Bumpus, Could you give me three easy lessons on how to get a man? Desperately yours, Betty Nahrwold Answer: Dear Miss Nahrwold: No--if I could, my name wouldn't still be Bumpus. J, J. .', 4, .,. .,. ,,. .,. Betty Nahrwold, a century ago, was a charming, lovely, little Witch of 17 years--who had designs upon the Bob Patterson. But the bright city beck- oned and she took a job at modelimgfor Sears, Roebuck 8: Co. , and became too engrossed in her work. When she had to start modeling size 40 dresses instead of 10 and 12, Bob lost interest. Because the size of her work is so demanding, her time has to be budgeted down to the very minute. We hope Betty can get help from some one! -r az: fr :er Here's something that can't be beaten in any gossip circle. W00dburn's great Romeo and lady killer, Lawrence Wells, plans to leave for Mexico next week to look for a location of the new movie, Broken Heart. In spite of thinning hair and bifocals, Wells can still slay 'ern. :ec :ar :Q :1 The State of Indiana, County of Allen, Township of Springfield, City of Georgetown is extremely proud of its most highly praised and paid politician --Senator Dean Weaver. Weaver has not only made his bed, but has feathered his cap and greased his hands, with neatly won extra bucks by kissing all babies, whether Communist, Socialist, Democrats, or Republicans. He has also asked me to post this special announcement: Dean Weaver, mayor, police chief, fire chief, city clerk, city attorney, justice of the peace, dog and cat catcher, city treasurer, and city council at Georgetown, where he is the most prominent and only citizen eligible to vote, announces he will run for re- election. 4: me 4: :ec '55 wi ,Clif u ',1f'. .w -QXAIVIC .'I:fvEiDZ'Li.'.ii l M

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Here's something that beats anything I've seen in a long time. One of the best students in the Class of '53, Betty Lilly, has grieved, shocked and disgraced the whole world. She failed her college entrance examinations. However, she is making good wages as a scrub woman. That goes to show that you don't have to have a college education to get all the good jobs. .ff :uf :k 4: May l interrupt to bring you a special news item? The Borden Prize for the best international invention was awarded tonight to Master Skip Smith. Mr. Smith's invention was some sort of an electrical contraption which milks cows, separates the milk, and churns butter in exactly umpteen seconds. Mr. Smith is the recipient of a bronze plaque in the shape of Elsie the Cow, which now graces the place of honor on his living room wall. Congratulations, Mr. Smith. 4: ff if na: I believe this is something that really deserves the headlines. Shirley Stafford, First Woman To Fly Atomic Plane. Shirley, the former Shirley Harris, today left the airport at Harlan, and headed for a summer vacation on Venus, to become the first lady to undertake a solo flight in an atomic plane, Bob refuses to go, because he says, quote: Someone has to stay home and feed the chickens. Unquote. In between chicken feedings, Bob keeps himself busy as head mechanic at the Atom Sz Jet Garage in Harlan. His special interest is fixing friction burns on the tires of jet mobiles. sc 1 :if From the ancient Egyptian port of Alexandria to Wadi Halfa, on the edge of the Nubian Desert, the name of Del-a-grange has come to be regarded with terror and awe! White-cloaked travelers wait his swift raids with dread. Caravans on the dry parched sands keep a sharp lookout for him. Mel Delagrange, the outlaw king! He lives in the ruins of an ancient temple, and when he really wants to be alone, he hides in a tomb. But were we to be told all concerning Delagrange, we would know that twenty years ago, he was overcome while at Antwerp, Ohio, and under the influence of some vile, mystic, strange liquid, he was shanghaied and taken captive by a gypsy crew. When he awakened several weeks later, he was deep in the burning Nubian Desert. He had forgotten all his past, except that' name was Delagrange. Gathering lost, wandering men to him, he formed a bandit gang. Nevertheless, the name Delagrange is real music to many ears, for he is the veritable Robin Hood, taking riches from the rich and giving them to the poor and friendless. 2-'1 if is 111 Across the desert, way past those last sand dunes, you will find a 'more pleasant scene. Here formaldehyde and ether waft as the Song of the Nile fills the air. Tapering pyramids come away into view. Ah-the pride of Egypt. And in the midst of all this sits the Sultan Arnos, formerly Bob, of Woodburn, Indiana. Arnos was elected Sultan when King Farouk was kicked out for good. Poor Sultan Arnos! They've tried to gas him, knife him, mummify him, drop him from a high temple wall, but it's no use. Sultan sits serene-- among his Harem of 300 girls--hugely fat and completely happy. :er :ef ff if The Gerber girls, Dorothy and Betty, now hired by the Gerber Baby Food Company have made a big hit. Their slogan reads: