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Juniors
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Page 22 text:
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Class Prophecy While walking in the park one sunny day in 1956, acting in my official capacity of fourth assist- ant to the caretaker's assistant, I happened to notice, almong the cigar butts on the end of my pointed stick, a scrap of paper which was not yet completely mangled, I leaned against a nearby tree to see if Dick Tracy had evaded 'his newest enemy. Gravy Face, and found a headline about one of my high school friends. It seems that Mary Lou Sweeney heard a .man scream when the army contacted the moon with radar back in 1946. She cauguht the first rocket and hasn't been heard of since. Still searching for the comics, I found that several of my classmates had -become famous. Joe Comp just invented a thing, He plans to patent it as soon as he finds out what it is. Alice Berry was not only Miss Chewing Gum of 1956 'but she now owns her own factory where gum is made in three pound blocks, I finally found the funnies and who should have escaped from a burning building full of rattlesnakes and flying knives, but that dashing hero, Blll Mgrge, I always knew he'd end up in the funny papers, Having read all of the legi-ble part of the paper without finding Dick Tracy, I went about my wcrk. I was furiously stabbing away at a sadly beaten- down birds' nest when somebody kicked me in the shlns. When I turned around who should it be but Dee Hymes. It seems that she had kept her very complete wardrobe and that dilapidated bundle of straw was her newest and most stylish hat. Upon questioning her, I discovered that she and Chuck Haywood were operating a 'hybrid night- crawler ranch. A,t this point, we were interrupted by a shout. We turned to see Bill Mills and Pat Moore on their way to the Hobo Convention to be held in Des Moines. They had hooked a ride this far, under the caboose of Wayne Thomas' Super Rocket Rattle Trap Train which had 'broken down n few miles back, We stood about, tions and news of Richard McLaughlin tion of the year. He he just stands there eagerly exchanging recollec- our 'high school classmates. is the swoon crooning sensa- doesn't have to sing a note- in that loud shirt with that red wavy hair, and every woman for miles around screams and falls in a heap. I remarked that they often do the same when they see me, but the others just ignored me. Donald Ham was just elected Water Commis- sioner of Winterset. He owes the -honcr to the fact that he promised to put some water in that chlorine. Shirley Greenwood just discovered a new kind of make-up in her laboratory at Harvard. She calls it Greenwocd's galivanting glamor goo. June and Anna Mae Johnston had their names changed to Chloe Kadiddlehopper and Millie Lump- Lump, They own a factory which produces Chloe's and Mi1lie's Lump Kiddie Hoppers , I understand it's a cross between a baby buggy and the atom bomb. Professor Gene Crawford of Yale is touring the country with a series of lectures on the subject Married Men's Problems in the Home . Because of his many encounterings with infuriated women, Robert McFarlin acts as bodyguard. Marge Wight put that beautiful voice to work in radio. She's the new star of that thrilling day- time serial, Portia Faces Jet Propulsion. Rogena Chadwick -has just been named The Hairdresser with the Latest Ideas and the 'Most Nerve to Practice Them of 1956. Finally Bill interrupted our conversation with a reminder to Pat that they must try to hook a ride on the next train and Dee left to help Chuck pi-ck out his new suit, so I returned to my work. Rounding a curve in the path, I came upon a lonely tramp sleeping on a park bench. Upon arousing him, I found it to .be none other than Etta Mueller!!!! She explained that she couldn't decide among her high ambitions, so she just gave them all up. Rc- membering Etta'5 knack for knowing everything about everybody, I sat down and settled back to hear what had become of several more of our classmates. Jim Crow and John Drake have made a fortune from their latest invention, a study hall seat which unfolds into a bed. The pillow is kept in the upper right .hand drawer. Don Lightner is a skiing and Skating instructor in Switzerland. He has mastered all of the intricate maneuvers of both, including 'how to stay on his feet. The government passed a law that all high school gylms should be equipped with padded seats for the basketball teams. It seems that Barbara McDon- ald .made such a fuss that they had to do something to make the game enjoyable for tihe substitutes. Lloyd McKibban just perfected a ear finished ln rubber. Whenever he has R W!'e0k, this bounces him back three blocks. 'Ilhere's more than one way to get a head start, Dean Eckles is night watchman in Winterset. He decided to try the cop's side for awhile. Joan Dabner has replaced Coach Roederer as girls' basketball coach. It is reported she intends to use new methods she learned from naval maneuv- ers, That's funny I never knew Jo had been U1 the navy. Goldie McCauley, who started as a designer of clothes for fashionable women, has given it up. She decided it would be easier to design clothes for women who don't care, CContinued On Page 465 l16P
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