Windsor Locks High School - Herald Yearbook (Windsor Locks, CT)

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THE HIGH SCHOOL HERALD 31 Store Dealer: “Well, I may say we’ve sold dozens and never had a complaint.” —Selected Patient: “Doctor, what I need is some¬ thing to put me in fighting trim.” Doctor: “Well, perhaps I had better send in my bill.” Not at all Exclusive. Patron: “Do you serve fish here?” Waiter: “Certainly, we cater to every¬ body.”—Selected. Teacher: “What is given, Mr. Barberie?” Mr. Barberie: “Given two circles having equal sides.” Bo: “Hey Joe! Did you catch the feesh?” Joe: “Yaw, I caught h‘m by the tale.” Sister to Brother: “Say something nice about the cake to Mrs. Jones for giving it to you.” Brother to Mrs. Jones: “Gee, this cake is nice and smooth, just like it was made of cement. ”— Selected. Joe: “You seem to be sick.” Tom: “Yes, I caught cold last night rigging a draft horse.” Daughter: “He says I am the nicest girl in town. Shall I ask him to call?” Mother: “No, dear; let him keep on thinking so.”—Selected. Teacher: “William, what have you in your hand?” William: “A—er—er—nothing, but I did have a minute ago.” A lady in a hurry to get the train wanted to buy a mouse-trap, so she ran into the nearest store and said, “Quick, clerk, give me a mouse-trap, I want to catch a train.” In study period a Senior was playing with a small looking-glass. He was turn¬ ing the mirror to othex ' students and say¬ ing “Look at the monkey.” The teacher, who thought he was seeking help from someone said, “You can do that by yourself, Peter.” —

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30 THE HIGH SCHOOL HERALD As a ship was leaving the harbor of Athens a woman passenger approached the captain and pointing to the distant hills, asked: “What is that white stuff on the hills, captain ?” “That is snow, madam,” answered the captain. “Is it really—?” remarked the lady. “I thought so, but a gentleman just told me it was Greece.”—Selected. The soldiers marched to the church and halted in the square outside. One wing of the edifice was undergoing repairs, so there was room for only one-half the regiment. “Sergeant,” ordered the Major, “Tell the men who don’t want to go to church to fall out.” A large number quickly availed them¬ selves of the opportunity. “Now. Sargeant,” said the Major, “dis¬ miss all the men who did not fall out and send the others in—they need it more.” —Selected “Ish we almost home cabby?” “We’sh passhed it six times alreadv. but the road keeps right on goin’ by. We’P jus’ have o keep goin’ till it gets tired and stops.”—Selected. Young Brown got married. On pav day he gave his bride $20 out of h s $25 salary and kept only five for himself. The second pay day he reversed the process. “Why, Robert,” she said in injured tones, “how on earth do you think I can manage for a whole week on a paltry $5?” “Hanged if I know,” he answered. “I had a rotten time myself last week. It’s your turn now.”—Selected. Add Radio Mysteries. What we can’t understand about the rad : o is how the static knows you have company that night. The Ruling Passion—Doctor No. 1: “Did you hold the mirror to her face to see if she was still breathing?” Doctor No. 2: “Yes, and she opened one eye, gasped and reached for her powder puff.”—Selected. John when asked to recite started, “I is— Teacher: “No, John, not ‘I is ' but ‘I am.’ ” John: “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”—Selected. Soph: “But I don’t think I deserve an absolute zero.” Prof: “Neither do I, but it is the low¬ est mark that I am allowed to give.” —Selected Teacher in English Class: “There will be no home work for to-morrow.” Class: “The world’s coming to an end.” Mother: “Why John, what are you bringing that turtle in the house for?” John: “Why some people say that tur¬ tles live over two hundred years, so I want to see if this one will.” No Kick Coming. Store Dealer: “This is the latest patent l fe-saving belt made, sir.” Traveler: “Are they quite reliable?”

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32 THE HIGH SCHOOL HERALD JUNIOR PRIZE ESSAYS. EDUCATIONAL PROBLEMS. First Prize. Education is one of the most vital issues before America to-day. There, are, of course, many other subjects which confront us, such as that of law enforcement, re¬ ligion and race prejudice, radicalism and the propagation of other undesirable forms of government. But, how many of these prob¬ lems would be eliminated if the great edu¬ cational movements and discussions could be settled and the best of them put into execution ? Through education people may be taught that some principles are wrong and ought not to be tolerated, while others are right and should be respected. America, from the beginning of her national life, has been trying to develop her industries, her trades, and her laws, but she has only just begun to realize that she has been neglecting the basic institution, the one on which all the others should, sensibly be founded. We find that twenty-five per cent., one- quarter, of America’s men drafted during the World War were illiterate. Such total ignorance as was exhibited concerning the essentials of American law and government shows us how pertinent is the need of a revolution in our national system of edu¬ cation. You will say that many of the drafted men were not American-born. True, but, also, a shameful percentage were what some people proudly call the “native stock.” This fact is thus a challenge to our educa¬ tional system to correct the faults and weaknesses in our present methods. A task closely related to that of over¬ coming the illiteracy revealed by the World War is the education of the foreigner. There are other problems, too, such as the care and training of the delinquent child; the place in school and participation for the sub-normal child; consolidation of schools; and the influence of specialization. Perhaps the most important challenge to be faced is the problem of the foreigner. He cannot and will not become a good American citizen unless we are willing to meet him half-way. He comes here with a reverence and awe of America, almost pa¬ thetic in its sincerity. Is it for us to brent down this reverence and sincerity ? If we do, we shall fail in a sacred duty. The foreigner must be taught the ideals, cus¬ toms, and traditions of the United States. It is hard for him to adjust himself to these strange surroundings and social cus¬ toms, so different from those of the old country. He must be guided carefully and sympathetically. A proof that Americans are beginning to realize their duty to the new citizen, is the fact that all over the country, especially in the industrial sections, evening and trade schools are being established. Although comparatively new, ' they are increasing rapidly in number and attendance, and are doing a great work. As these schools be¬ come perfected and new methods are intro¬ duced, America will find that she has a more contented foreign element; one of which she can l e justly proud not only in the in¬ dustrial but in the civic, moral and social life as well. The next problem, that concerning the delinquent, or wayward child, has aroused much argument and serious thought. Most people maintain that allowing such a child to mingle with other children, endangers the whole group socially as well as morally. There are a large number of schools which specialize in training such children. In these schools the delinquents are taught to become honest, earnest citizens They are shown, by kindly competent men and women, how to differentiate between good and evil. In nine cases out of ten these children grow up to be patriotic, upright men and women. On the other hand, how much better it would be if the parents of these children had been the ones to guide them, to protect them and to train them. Whose duty is it to rear the children, the state’s or the ' parent’s? If the parents would do their duty we should have less waywardness; young people would not bring disgrace upon their parents, and America would not have such crime waves as are sweeping our country to-day.