Willow Springs High School - Willamizzou Yearbook (Willow Springs, MO)

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s s The 1939 Willamizzou a a HIP POCKET EDUCATION Ninety-nine and forty-four one huiiidredths per cent of all that the average student learns is entirely forgotten four months after graduation from college. So to save the youth of the present generation the trouble and expense of attending callege, a hip-gocket education has been prepared. This resume contains all the essentials in the major subject field that are learned during a four-year college course. CHEMISTRY Chemistry is the study of matter. Atoms are invisible tyou can't see theml and therefore are too small to bother about. After all what does it matter? BIOLOGY Biology is the science of life. All life is divided into two parts: animal and vegetable. Any experienced biologist can tell an animal from a vegetable at almost first sight. MATHEMATICS Geometry is the science of angles. Angles have points. A point is what a straight line is the shortest distance between two of. Trigonometry has to do with logarithms. Logarithms are of great practical value. They are frequently used in computing income taxes, grocery bills and taxi fares. Two terms that are universally used in all mathematics are infinity and zero Zero is always the opposite of infinity. HISTORY History is the record of mants past. Napoleon, Caesar, and King George 313121 all appear in history. Napoleon was a Frenchman. Caesar was an Ita- lian who was killed by Congress. He died immediately after uttering the quotation, All Gaul is divided into three parts. George 3rd also died. ENGLISH English is a language snoken extensively in the British and occasionally on the Willow Springs High School campus. LITERATURE Literature is a required course. PHILOSOPHY Philosophy is the pastime of lunatics and nursery rhymers. Some famous philosophic quotations are: If I he as I think I be, then will my little dog know me? , and, What is it all, really'. ASTRONOMY Astronomy is interesting. It should be studied at night. You take two sticks and sight at a star or Venus. The sun is about a hundred million miles away. A telescope is like a microscope only bigger. A spectrum is caused by 11 spectroscope. THE COURTNEY DICTIONARY Faltsa substance that makes your food taste bad if you dontt put it 011. circleaa round straight line with a hole in the middle. lecturesa method by which the teachers notes may be transferred to the student's notebook without passing through the mind of either. professoraa term applied to certain amiable individuals whose cnief purpose in life is to cause students worry 5' 97.x: ?VQN MR RD

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KK , , The 1939 Willamiuou GRADE SCHOOL OPERETTA The Magic Piper, by N. Mitchell Hubrich and Carol Christopher, was pre- sented in the High School Gymnasium, on March 17, 1939, by the grade school faculty. Cast of Characters: The Piper ........................................................................................................ Johnie Cecil Stone Town Crier ................................................................................................................ Bill Hankins Gretchen ................................................................................................................. Sybil Lovan Katrina .......................................... , ............................................................................... Mary Sass Hans ........................................................................................................................ Paul Simkins Peter .................................................................................................. Henry Guhlstorf Clown Rat .............................................................................................. Martha Belle Mitchell Mutter Katzenheimer ....................................................... . Gwendolyn Wilbanks Yacob ................................................................................ Don Rothgeb Frieda ............................................................................... Huldah Lou Cromwell Fido .......................................................................................................................... Elmo Spencer Mayor of Hamelin ................................................. Donald Phillips Councilmen ............................................................................................................ Rowe Findley The Chorus of men and women of Hamelin .................... Seventh and Eighth Grades The Town Band ................................................................................ Fifth and Sixth Grades Children of Hamelin ...................................................................... Third and Fourth Grades Rats .................................................................................................... First and Second Grades

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e The 1939 Willamizzou rt tr HUMOR A ROLLING STONE IS WORTH THREE IN THE BUSH Goldman was annoying the passengers aboard an ocean liner. Mother texasperatedl: Father, speak to Goldman. Seasick Father: How-de-do, Goldman. DUCK? THE AIR IS FULL OF PIGEONS! Prof Grimes: Joyce, your hatis on backwards. Joyce M.: How do you know which way Iim going? Coach Munford: Euford, what is density? Euford: I caift define it, sir, but I can give a good example of it. Coach: Your illustration is good. Sit down. Prof. Grimes-This examination will be conducted on the honor system. All of you take seats on alternate rows and three seats apart. Miss Masnor: Junior, where is your book? Junior: At home. Miss Masnor: That's a good place to keep it. Pd wrap it up so it wont get dusty. Now, said Mrs. Grimes, ttpass in all of your papers to the end of the row; havea carbon under each one, then I can correct them all at once. NEWEST BOOKS OUT How To Sleep Through High School .................................................... Joyce Murrell My Love Life ................................................................................................ Herbert James ttHow It Feels To Be Unconscious ........................................................ Goldman French How To Rhumba Coach MunfordePrOf. Foard Mrs. Munford: What is the opposite of gladness? English IV Class tin unisoni: Sorrow. Mrs. Munford: What is the opposite of woe? Class tin unisoni: Giddap. Richard: How did you get that black eye? Eugene: Got socked in the eye with a ripe tomato. Richard: A ripe tomato wouldnlt do that. Eugene: Oh, yes! This one had a can around it. Jo: Who is your favorite author? Dode: My father. J0: Why, what does he write? Dode: Checks. . Lloyd Blakely finally graduated from high school and was out in the cold world with his sax under his arm. He is now seen trying to rent a room from a hard boiled landlady. Lloyd: How much are your rooms? Landlady: Letis hear you play that thing first.