Whiting High School - Reflector Yearbook (Whiting, IN)

Page 17 text:

Agnes J. Douglass Mabel Toombs Ruth Danforth Art Music French Naomi Liggett C. F. Bronson Mrs. C. G. Mackey Physical Training Science Substitute Mary Kirk L. B. Hart W. P. Buerckholtz Domestic Science Physical Training Manual Training

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EXTRA GREAT DISCOVERY IMPORTANT MANUSCRIPT UNEARTHED FABLED CITY FOUND BULLETIN (Mental Telepathy News Service) Bedlam, July 17, 1980.—A great discovery has been made by the expedition which is being conducted by those eminent and learned Russian professors, Frankowski and Buczkowski. This expedition set out July 1, from Aero Continent No. 3, to search for the fabled city of Whiting. After cruising around in the air for two weeks, on July 15 the expedition landed at the spot where Whiting had once stood. Operations were immediately begun but not until two days later was an important discovery made. On July 17 there was uncovered a large stone building, on the outside of which hung a sign with the following undecipherable inscription: N. E. KECKICH Bevo Prescriptions Filled Here Outside the building was a long line of over fifty of a curious species of animals which Prof. Benson of Cuckoo University identified as man. Each held in his left hand a curious slip of paper and in his right hand a hollow object probably designed to hold some liquid. But the most important discovery was a manuscript in the hands of a man seated at a table drinking. Prof. Binhammer, Professor of Ancient Languages, deciphered the manuscript of which the following is a translation: “Why, hello there! Well! If it isn’t my old friend, Eddie Shade. I haven’t seen you for a coon’s age. How are you ?” ‘‘Oh, I'm pretty well. Come on, let’s step into Nick’s and have a glass of -------- (censored by Anti-Saloon League).” “All right, come on.” “What’ll you have John? This is on me.” “O, I’ll take a glass of------ (cen- sored by Anti-Saloon League).” “I’ll have the same.” “Ah, that goes to the right spot. Say, do you remember the good times we had at High School? ’Member how every Freshman was at school ten minutes before the door opened, every day in the first month ? And how most of us spent the rest of our four years trying to even things up by coming late ?” “ eah. I know I did a good job of it too. Le’me see, I think—yes, Joe Melvin was the president of our class. There were only thirty-four in it.” “It’s funny, but the longer I went to High School the more religious and ill I became. Why, the first year I was only absent twice on account of holy-days and four times on account of sickness, while in my Senior year I was absent ten times on account of hplydays and about fifteen times on account of a toothache or headache.” “Yes, and I’ll bet you didn’t get the