Whatcom High School - Kulshan Yearbook (Bellingham, WA)

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Leona Liveiniore, Violet Slroii , Loiiia drool, and Lama Uiill, lii ' - ing disgusted with the amount of pulilieity wliicii Old King Tut is still reeeiving even to this day, have left on tlie S. S. Tulip lor Finland to look lor the leniains of Tut ' s wife, who is said to have been buried there l)y mistake, on her last airplane tri]). Adrian Morgan, I am sorry to say, following in the foolstejjs of the Honorable William .1. Hobeits, is bound for the lower world, as he has had twelve wives, among whom are: Mary (lulver, Toyo Tsulsiu, Alice Hiseland and Helen Lake. His motto is A new one every year. His methods of atlraeling his various wives are, I am sorry to say, un- known, as, the poor boy was condemned to l)e hanged for burglary before he could write his memoirs. Cyril Moore and W ' ilhelmina Masten have originated a factory for gum which can be swallowed easily at a moment ' s notice and is es|)ecially adaptable to higii school students, ( yril only achieved this invention with the help of Miss Milis|)augh, whose love for watching the aforesaid students make use of this product led her to work witti him morning, noon and night. .lohan Krabbe is the piide of the class for he is destined to lead the lloek upward. In eN|)lanation of this, 1 might add that he is a howling evangelist, after the fashion of Billy Sunday. Albert Herre and Dorothy Dawson have at last agreed ui)on one thing — to be married — the ceremony will take place in the Philippines ' nealh the shade of the jialms with .Fohan oflicialing. With ( lecil Bell as the originator, a men ' s toe-dancing troupe has made its appearance. Among these world-famous personages are: lioy Andrews, Carl Hansen, Leonard Burchette and Edward Mue ller. Meanwhile, Florence Gilbert has written a treatise of 30,000 words entitled, It Ain ' t Goin ' to Rain No More. With such an ambiguous topic Florence has written about almost everything from bananas to I ong-Island potatoes. Freda Slater and Marvin Barlow have invented, since their wed- ding, a combination potato-masher and baseball bat, which is very handy for those suffering from rheumatism. Phyllis Westover has become — after repeated eflorts — Mrs. Deane Hooke. Her methods of capturing him are now extinct for she used a mouse trap and Deane was the only one who would fall lor it. Ory Burtenshaw has written a history book which rivals that of Muzzy . It has taken him IcS years to accomplish this feat, but the result is amazing, for it is used by the Meridian High School. 4th Angel: Anne Curtis is still running for Tulip Queen. This year the contest is confined to old maids, so she stands a very good chance. Thelma Gill has gone into the garbage business. She is pro- claimed a successor to Mike Ponti and is given the title of the queen of garbage of Bellinghain, so the class has produced one real and another prospective queen. Rubye Anderson and Elmer .lorgenson have finally got hitched up. The common ground on which they met was Moose Hall and Elmer ' s radio. Since the wedding they have gone into the business of catching crabs in the Sahara Desert. Tweuty-six

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St. Peter: Which reminds me. I am seriously considering Earl Hemmi as my successor. For this business is beginning to get on my nerves. His record in track at Whatcom has proved him a fast man, which (lualification my successor needs must have. 2nd Angel: As for .lack White, he and Cliflord Loomis have con- solidated as advertisements for the Reduce-by-Rolling Machine Com- pany. They represent the before and after effects, needless to say. Donna Lehmann has patented a new device by which she can carry on telephone conversations with six young men at once. Bob Bettner, after studying sewing for the last ten years, prepara- tory to becoming a dressmaker, has suffered a nervous break-down and will not be able to resume his profession for several years. This is a great loss to the community, as he always specialized in the latest Paris styles. Leonardeen Miller has reached the height of her career as a pianist for she is at present playing the electric jjlayer-piano at the Dream Theater. She enjoys this greatly as it calls for fully six hours of prac- tising a day. Whatcom has developed several talented movie actors and actress- es, among whom are: Vernon Hansen, a second .Jackie Coogan; Verna Hess, another Mary Pickford: .Mildred Gerfin, a Nazimova; Homer Benefield, a third Rudolph Valentino, and, last but not least. Myrtle Pierce, who is Baby Peggj ' s nearest rival. Harriett Wiedman, contrary to her inclinations in high school, has become a tyi)ical old maid and may be seen every day taking her constitutional, accompanied by her pet poodle, named ' Anhur. As for Ben Markovitz, he and the Glazers — Sam and David have become prosperous lawyers under the careful instruction of Mr. Smith. They have won many important cases, the most interesting of which was ' that of Frances Thompson vs. Dr. Kill Me Quick, a beauty special- ist, who had dyed her eyebrows green instead of purple as she had or- dered, for you remember, Pete, colored eyebrows are a fad at present. I am sorry to say that Frances lost the case, because the jury was bribed by the doctor. Florian Culver and her husband Leslie Orr are living peacefully on the Indian Reservation on their skunk farm, which although it does not bring large dividends, supplies them with heavenly odors. After being courted for ten years. Philomena Hynes has at length refused Bob Gregory, but he still ' lives in hopes and when they join us here on high, there may be a different end to the wooing. St. Peter: Il ' m — let ' s hope so, he ought to have some reward for being so faithful. 3rd Angel: Well, as for Bill Roberts, I prophecy a bad end, and he will surely finish up by going the other way, for he has been acting as nurse maid to Mr. Keeran ' s grand-daughter. So, you see the kind of company he has been keeping. Roy Ivie and Florence Smith, having mutual acquaintances in the world of chemistry, are devoting their honeymoon to the search for dry water. So far the nearest they have come to it is thi- discoN ' ery ol dry sand. Twenty-five

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Francis Wilcox has gone into the farming business, and he is very proud to run around in one of Henry Fiord ' s Lizzies since he gave up liis Buick. He has become a second Lutlier Burbank and has pro- duced a species of corn without a cob. Lucile Hancock has become an earnest suffragette. Her pet topic is Don ' t Let the Niggers Work — It ' s Against Their ReHgion. You remember slie was quite gone on this topic while at Whatcom. Wilma Clendenen has found a new profession. Following in the foot-steps of dalli-Curci, she has established a school for parrots where she teaches her pupils to sing So This is Venice and Marcheta. She hasn ' t been very successful so far as the parrots are still swearing. Clarence Pascoe and Herman Lange battled last year for the heavyweight championship of Marietta. But, sad to say, they fell into the Nooksack during the first round, causing the river to rise and flood the city, so the championship is still up in the air. Eleanor GrifTith has been busy the last thirteen years inventing a ruler to measure the feet in poetry. She has hnally been successful, and all the English teachers at Whatcom are now using this method. Well, as for Rhea Drain she has been, and still is coaching the girls ' football team at Whatcom. Her team has been playing all sea- son, but so far their only victory has been that from Acme. Oh, yes, and Evelyn Hagen, after keeping a hot-dog stand at Bat- tersby Field for ten years, linally took pity on Culver Willis ' indiges- tion and promised to love, honor, and cook for him. Due to her ex- perience in her profession, he has eaten nothing but hot-dogs since. .Jessie Kirby and Ernestine Lyon have done well in a matrimonial way. They have met and concjuered the gentlemen, I Will Ketchum and U. Soakum, resjjeclively, who are prominent oil magnates, having made their money in the Teapot Dome scandal. Vera Forbes and Nellie Wilson have at last bobbed their hair. They are the closest rivals of Edna Wallace Hopper and are at present in tiie Zieglield Follies. Vera ' s pictures are now used as a trade-mark for Clean-up Vaccuum Cleaners and Nellie ' s for Stay-Comb Bald- ness Producer. Marian Hayes draws large crowds to her husband ' s church with her aesthetic dancing which she renders just before the collection is taken up. Eleanor Dodson is employed by the L ietta Daily News, writing criticisms concerning the pineapples now being grown on the islands of the Bering Sea. She is making quite a name for herself in her journalistic career. Esther Buswell, strange as it may seem, has established a deaf and dumb school. The attractions of the teacher draw large crowds of men. She teaches reading, writing and arithmetic, but it is notice- able that the graduates of the school know little of any of these sub- jects, for they are, one and all so entranced with Esther ' s eyes that they forget everything else. William Atwood and INlary Hoyer, having married the year after they left school, have gone to Afghanistan to establish a society for the prevention of cruety to earwigs. Twenty-seveu