Westport High School - Herald Yearbook (Kansas City, MO)

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. .-:,,F-.--.g -- - ' P 'E'f.fifi ,.--.- A f-fem-45552502-5413 - -1...:- -- , ' ' ' 20 THE WESTPORT HIGH SCHOOL HERALD. V Mary: 'CJO-hnny, the teacher 's calling you and I ll bet he 's madf' P Johnny: Oh, no, he isn't, he fd be calling 'Jonathan' if he were. See what I got I cried Bobby, a city- bred boy, as he came running from. a chicken-coop, holding in his hand a china egg- . f'Oh, go put it back lv exclaimed Ma- ble, his six-year-old sister, Hthfatis the egg the hen measures by. CHRISTMAS GIFTS. When Santa Olaus visited Westport this year, he left at The Herald office the following gifts: Mr. Underwood's stock- ing was large enough to contain the plans and specifications for the new school. The Seniors were each presented with a dic- tionary of words of one syllab-le. He brought each Junior a large-sized Roose- velt bear with a baby blue sash. The Soph- omores received knitted caps which will expand to suit the swelling heads. The Freshmen's gift came in four parts and arrived before Christmas. It was made to fit their size so as to give them famil- iar surroundings. They will soon be oth- cially presented the annexes. The faculty were given a complete set of substitutes. who are to perform the work, but not re- ceive the pay. The Round Tables were presented with a set of scenery for the newly-revived stock company. He left the Clionians a new set of Glee Olub songs. The I. K. Bfs pleaded fervently for a gentleman member of the faculty as adviser, but Santa denied them and brought them mirrors. He left the De- baters a new subject for discussio-nz Re- solved, That the Debaters and I. K. Bfs should be consolidated. Mr. Snedeger was presented with four more stoves to take care of in the annexes. These gifts have been carefully stored a.way in T he Herald sanctum, and if they are not soon- er appropriated by their eager owners, will be distributed on Ohristmas morning. RECIPE FOR COMPOSITION CAKE. Take two tablespoonfuls of introduc- tion, three cups o-f events, some descrip- tion, a few quo-tations, and one-half cup of conclusion. Stir a quotation or two in with the introduction, add a pinch of description, and mix well with a pencil in a bowl of scratch -paper. Then put the events, with some quotations and description to taste, into another bowl, and stir until smooth. If both bowls of batter are en- tirely satisfacto-ry, put them into pans of thought, and bake until the testing straw of criticism will pass through freely, Next melt the conclusion in a small thought saucer, and after placing the sec'- ond layer upon the first, spread the con- clusion on with care, so as to give the cake a smo-oth appearance. .- Now investigate closely, and if noth- ing is wrong, transfer the finished product to a platter of theme-paper and serve. Wifllirwn Guzfhrie, 910, - The Seniors are mighty and tall, The Freshies are greenish and small, The Sophomores talk Like the cocks of the walk, But they canit touch the Juniors at all. :i.4,,d- in , f pr, hfgzh, lr.. -.4 .a:4.:.- EF-1-E--ui-E-ri ' ' 1.1-ff. 1

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N- ia-,var-41-sg,:.5 .gsm-:ureaszn-1. -f-an Y A-' gg- - W- ----.-.,. . - . .. ..,..--...--:es:'ee3-::..,.d'e-1E-1El.vm:,1r.ezez,4n.-pg,-.,,,. .ia gFi, I F TUm,F,g: THE WESTPORT HIGH SCHOOL HERALD. 19 The following exchanges have been re- ceived since our last issue: The W estern, Western High School, Washington, D. C., The Inlander, 'University of Michigan, The Westminster Monthly, Fulton, Mo., The Nautilus, Manual Training High School, Kansas City, Mo., The Tatler, Des Moines, Iowa, High School, The Acorn, Oak Park High School, Des Moines, Iowa, The Jayhawher, Kansas City, Kansas, High School, The High School News, St. Louis, Mo., The Ree- orcl, Sioux City, Iowa, The Voice, Olathe, Kansas, High School, The Herald, Car- thage, Mo., The Raclilas, Prosso Prepara- tory School, Kansas City, Mo., The Y eat- man Life, St. Louis, Mo., The Magpie, De Witt Clinton High School, New York, N. Y. We have never considered this column a place for criticism, but we mean to compliment our exchanges by taking what we consider the best of their squibs and items. Teacher: f'How many bones have you in your body, Jimmy ?'l D Jimmy: 'Tive hundred and nine. Teacher: But the other pupils have not so manyf' Jimmy: Well, they ain't had fish for dinner, like mef' Mamma: aHere comes your father. See how mad you ,ve made him. Now go an-d 'tell him you ,re sorry? Tommy: C'Say, Pop, I'm awful sorry you 're so blamed cross. Generally speaking women are--D Yes, they aref' 'CAre what ?7' is It -.S 'lt xi Exchanges ii it it i tl- it it tl' 35' 3'-F3 3? 3376 Tommy: 'fHow do girls spend their time PU Jimmy: c'Trying to make little boys stop asking questions and big boys begin? Darling!v he cried, and threw nim- self at her feet. . The haughty da.msel shivered, as in apprehension. 'CThat low Princeton tackle In she mut- tered, striving to be calm. C'If there is one thing I enjoy above anotherfi said Hooker, with a placid look, 'fit is to get to the river, bank and lie about fishing? Why, dear, I scarcely see t'he neces- sity for your going to the river to do thatfl replied Mrs. Hooker, quietly. C'Do what PM queried Hooker. 'fLie about fishing? Little Bo Peep-in Bostonese. Diminutive Bo Peep' had inadvertently become sequestrated from her merino pets, And cannot at present clearly appre- hend their whereabouts. , However, refrain from interfering with them, and they will of a certainty return of their volition to their habitual abode, Vibrating in their rear their posterior appendages. , First Freshie: I wonder what part of an animal a chop is. Is it a leg ? Second Freshie: 'fOf course not. It is the jawbone. Havenit you ever heard of animals licking their chops IW Mother Cteaching her child the alpha- betj : 'IN ow, dearie, what comes after G 799' ff D The child : Whiz Ii' Generally speaking.

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N' ' wayne- uaivmsqv It-.gi-. -e Q.-e...,.. .., QQ, i 3 ' ' ' ' ' ' - - - ' f - ' A 'n' ' ?9'-'lij-YL'L!fE'sfF5t:r:',..-v-sign:-. mmm- Q- - .11 1:1 - THE WESTPORT HIGH SCHOOL HERALD. 21 2 r..' ?i:Y MXH-, .3 I Q , 13 ' '0'04P0'0'U143-4-g'O-O-O-O-0-CrO-0'04O-O-O-8-O-0-O-0-0-0-Bpg, - ' 9225 5 4'FT-35-1 i! 'Tf 'fi-.'r-S'-'nz'-,.fs:.-.'212': :'-r--x-'-.-1... -.-.-4 ,.:-.- ,- f.. . . ,. 3 ' Q' db hes.:-4.. 4. a ' . '- .1 -,-J:-f'.'.: - - 41':f::.- 5'-3 Q .. s Q, . .n . . .. l 3 g g 5:95 'ix if -TX -.f x ' 0 :at Q:-5 X 10 3 . f? QV: . if-2 ' 5-.. . . .se 6 5 '9' Q Ib.:-6a:f':25eIzf'7l'.Ei'i'iw-a-'7J'i' 0. '- s2':J!f1!E'.-1':l?irl-EFJ3'3-,eq -.1-Q,-.snug-.,L-.g.g:5fg5,.g,g:4g3-gg,-E..-aa, ' Q 3 -04-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o -o-oo-o-o-0-o-o o i , bg 0 0 0 0 ' O O I 0 0 0 O o 0 0 c 5 g g , C' 0 6 G G 9 6 6 0 Q 6 Q 6 6 99 9 9 9 9 6 9-9-3.9.Q,..9.9.9.9.9.e,9,Q Mr. Hull: Acids, you know, are ship- ped in carlooys. Miss Lorie, what is a carboy ? Miss Lorie: c'Why, a conductor. 2l4 2l4 bk Miss Kahn: Mr. Moses, will you give the principal parts of dive Pi, Mr. Moses: Dive, dove, divenf' :ic sf Miss Ware Qdiscussing new schoolj: GI don't think the doorway is big enough? Mr. Hull: O yes, it is just for the people with little heads. The pupils can get in all rightf' Miss Ware: Yes, I know, but what about the teachers FD 224 X 2l4 .F7 G8h77ZfZ-f7'l Answers fin Algebra. 1. An equasion is an efvpersion of equally between two qumzties. 2. A problem is a question which needs to be answered. 24 PI4 234 The statement was made in class that a lead ciomb would take the place of per- oxide of hydrogen in making the hair beautiful. Laura and Rachel Cin cliorusj : Oli does it really do any good W Al Y Q Y nf 914 4 John Marley is so very small You hardly notice him at all. To lit him and the Freshies dear, They brought the Norman School up here. Teacher: You ought to give as large a Thanksgiving donation as possible, and you will not feel it at all? Marvin: I have to feel it before I. can give it. 214 2l4 4? Monsieur Fowler ftranslatingj : if 'My keeper !' cried the duck Qdukej-P 24 34 34 Miss Shire: C'What did the Spartans do at the Pass of Thermopylae P Irene C: They told the other fel- lows to go home? as 24 34 Lydia Cook says she can draw boys so much better than girls. 24 X P24 Mr. Shouse: Yes, a man in those days who used the syllogism and argued on such silly topics was called a duncef' A. Collier: 'CIs that how they get the word syllo Qsillyjr gism I? PX4 X 914 Westport, in her theological depart- ment, leads the high schools of the city. She claims Reuben, Rachel, Abraham, Moses, Ruth, Mary, Sarah, Paul, Ben- jamin, James, Samuel, I-Iam, Thomas, Joseph, Matthew and Luke. 54 Pl4 PI4 Miss Mcli. C in American Literaturej : 'fWhy did Irving call his history 'Knick- erbocker's History of New York'? Sammy: 'fBecause it was a history of the Ilutch, and they wore knickerbockers then. Miss De Witt: C'One author has said that moonlight will make even an ugly woman appear prettyf' Iiaura: f'Oh! but it doesn't!D ..,-:.--...,.,-.-,-.:...:....: .Q..,-.......1.....,..,,.,.,.... ' -Y- . . -, .Y Y - 5 Y. -- . . 8,0-4 1 N A n A - ' -'---- -- - sh. .-..,....:,'...-1...-ss's-az...