Westport High School - Herald Yearbook (Kansas City, MO)

Page 23 text:

N- ia-,var-41-sg,:.5 .gsm-:ureaszn-1. -f-an Y A-' gg- - W- ----.-.,. . - . .. ..,..--...--:es:'ee3-::..,.d'e-1E-1El.vm:,1r.ezez,4n.-pg,-.,,,. .ia gFi, I F TUm,F,g: THE WESTPORT HIGH SCHOOL HERALD. 19 The following exchanges have been re- ceived since our last issue: The W estern, Western High School, Washington, D. C., The Inlander, 'University of Michigan, The Westminster Monthly, Fulton, Mo., The Nautilus, Manual Training High School, Kansas City, Mo., The Tatler, Des Moines, Iowa, High School, The Acorn, Oak Park High School, Des Moines, Iowa, The Jayhawher, Kansas City, Kansas, High School, The High School News, St. Louis, Mo., The Ree- orcl, Sioux City, Iowa, The Voice, Olathe, Kansas, High School, The Herald, Car- thage, Mo., The Raclilas, Prosso Prepara- tory School, Kansas City, Mo., The Y eat- man Life, St. Louis, Mo., The Magpie, De Witt Clinton High School, New York, N. Y. We have never considered this column a place for criticism, but we mean to compliment our exchanges by taking what we consider the best of their squibs and items. Teacher: f'How many bones have you in your body, Jimmy ?'l D Jimmy: 'Tive hundred and nine. Teacher: But the other pupils have not so manyf' Jimmy: Well, they ain't had fish for dinner, like mef' Mamma: aHere comes your father. See how mad you ,ve made him. Now go an-d 'tell him you ,re sorry? Tommy: C'Say, Pop, I'm awful sorry you 're so blamed cross. Generally speaking women are--D Yes, they aref' 'CAre what ?7' is It -.S 'lt xi Exchanges ii it it i tl- it it tl' 35' 3'-F3 3? 3376 Tommy: 'fHow do girls spend their time PU Jimmy: c'Trying to make little boys stop asking questions and big boys begin? Darling!v he cried, and threw nim- self at her feet. . The haughty da.msel shivered, as in apprehension. 'CThat low Princeton tackle In she mut- tered, striving to be calm. C'If there is one thing I enjoy above anotherfi said Hooker, with a placid look, 'fit is to get to the river, bank and lie about fishing? Why, dear, I scarcely see t'he neces- sity for your going to the river to do thatfl replied Mrs. Hooker, quietly. C'Do what PM queried Hooker. 'fLie about fishing? Little Bo Peep-in Bostonese. Diminutive Bo Peep' had inadvertently become sequestrated from her merino pets, And cannot at present clearly appre- hend their whereabouts. , However, refrain from interfering with them, and they will of a certainty return of their volition to their habitual abode, Vibrating in their rear their posterior appendages. , First Freshie: I wonder what part of an animal a chop is. Is it a leg ? Second Freshie: 'fOf course not. It is the jawbone. Havenit you ever heard of animals licking their chops IW Mother Cteaching her child the alpha- betj : 'IN ow, dearie, what comes after G 799' ff D The child : Whiz Ii' Generally speaking.

Page 22 text:

,,,,.,A,, --. ,,:ss-'-s-'f:-r+ifi'??2-f?2'? -,T?lf--fy' 1 ,',- . ' Y' V -' - ' -' ' ' A ' ' ' 18 THE WESTPORT HIGH SCHOOL HERALD. Mr. Sass: Mrs. Hedges: In his house he had a large looking- olass before which he would stand and f'Thc living voice is that which sways C 3 Q 79 go through his daily eXercises.'-Ibirl. the S0lll.'i-Fftwfj. BACK TALKS TO BOYS. a tQuestions of dress and deportment and all inquiries of personal interest from boys of Westport High School should be addressed to f'Uncle Billyj, care of The HefraZcZ.j W. O.---Your Uncle Billy is particu- larly fond of you, not only because you were named for him, but none the less, because you reflect his own perfect taste in dress. Your exterior, as you describe it, must indeed express the' faultlessly attired high school youth. Your trousers have the correct width and curve at the hip, and your waistcoats are of the new- est cut. I am, indeed, proud of my nephewfs achievements on the exterior- but you have made no mention of the in- terior. What attempt at decoration is there there? -ig W. H., Jr.-Such delightful taste in neckwear has rarely been m-et with in one so young. Light greens and lavenders must be especially becoming to your dark manly beauty. No, I donpt believe that the freshman cla.ss would allow you to wear a yellow stock. Oolin A.-Perhaps it would be well to have it published in The Herald that you are a 'fgirl-haterf' Ipm sure no one would ever guess it from appearances. The advertised fact might have some ef- fect in reducing the number of bees which are now buzzing about the honey. O. H. Qand othersj-Yes, girls do admire above all things a manly boy, but I am quite sure that no one admires that alleged manliness which prompts a cal- low youth to hang at pipe from his lips and to swagger about in a cloud of vile- smelling tobacco smoke. X.-You ask for a suggestion for an appropriate Christmas present for a young lady. You say that she is already the possessor of a dog-collar. Perhaps one of those dear little nickel-trimmed leather harness would delight her. Of course you think that she is a dear, and I hope that I havenpt taken the idea of her wear- ing a leather dog-collar fastened with ai padlock too seriously. However, it seems to me that there might be danger of los- ing a girl like that, especially during the dog-days. - A. ill.-It seems very strange that a. young man of your attractions would be compelled to seek a feminine correspond- ent in a country so remote as France. I can not understand why such attainments as yours are not appreciated nearer home. Verily, A prop-het is not without honor, save in his own countryft How QUEER. y It was the Ohristmas season, The merry tide of Yuleg He had come for his vacation Back from an Eastern school. It was then, he put the question By the stairway in the hall, And the words she answered to him Made him happiest of all. As they talked about the future . In accents soft and low, How queer the candle should go out Under the mistletoe. Paul Stivers, ,08. -M 4- . ,. ' gt., ,:.Q,,-,.,f,,-.ig--y.,.:g.i..-::.1.g.Q.a4-,g '.' ,.,. .,.., ,5,44.sg.gg1.....aaausa,-4..j..agsw1esLaQ.qe-i.d:.:i:wsaawq::-:s,.v,i4.:-aa:q.5.,.5z.'.a-:4a-..g:u.gm-..:.1:...a,..s.a.+a.4a..:.a.4..ga......z.---, R-. fs.--Q...

Page 24 text:

. .-:,,F-.--.g -- - ' P 'E'f.fifi ,.--.- A f-fem-45552502-5413 - -1...:- -- , ' ' ' 20 THE WESTPORT HIGH SCHOOL HERALD. V Mary: 'CJO-hnny, the teacher 's calling you and I ll bet he 's madf' P Johnny: Oh, no, he isn't, he fd be calling 'Jonathan' if he were. See what I got I cried Bobby, a city- bred boy, as he came running from. a chicken-coop, holding in his hand a china egg- . f'Oh, go put it back lv exclaimed Ma- ble, his six-year-old sister, Hthfatis the egg the hen measures by. CHRISTMAS GIFTS. When Santa Olaus visited Westport this year, he left at The Herald office the following gifts: Mr. Underwood's stock- ing was large enough to contain the plans and specifications for the new school. The Seniors were each presented with a dic- tionary of words of one syllab-le. He brought each Junior a large-sized Roose- velt bear with a baby blue sash. The Soph- omores received knitted caps which will expand to suit the swelling heads. The Freshmen's gift came in four parts and arrived before Christmas. It was made to fit their size so as to give them famil- iar surroundings. They will soon be oth- cially presented the annexes. The faculty were given a complete set of substitutes. who are to perform the work, but not re- ceive the pay. The Round Tables were presented with a set of scenery for the newly-revived stock company. He left the Clionians a new set of Glee Olub songs. The I. K. Bfs pleaded fervently for a gentleman member of the faculty as adviser, but Santa denied them and brought them mirrors. He left the De- baters a new subject for discussio-nz Re- solved, That the Debaters and I. K. Bfs should be consolidated. Mr. Snedeger was presented with four more stoves to take care of in the annexes. These gifts have been carefully stored a.way in T he Herald sanctum, and if they are not soon- er appropriated by their eager owners, will be distributed on Ohristmas morning. RECIPE FOR COMPOSITION CAKE. Take two tablespoonfuls of introduc- tion, three cups o-f events, some descrip- tion, a few quo-tations, and one-half cup of conclusion. Stir a quotation or two in with the introduction, add a pinch of description, and mix well with a pencil in a bowl of scratch -paper. Then put the events, with some quotations and description to taste, into another bowl, and stir until smooth. If both bowls of batter are en- tirely satisfacto-ry, put them into pans of thought, and bake until the testing straw of criticism will pass through freely, Next melt the conclusion in a small thought saucer, and after placing the sec'- ond layer upon the first, spread the con- clusion on with care, so as to give the cake a smo-oth appearance. .- Now investigate closely, and if noth- ing is wrong, transfer the finished product to a platter of theme-paper and serve. Wifllirwn Guzfhrie, 910, - The Seniors are mighty and tall, The Freshies are greenish and small, The Sophomores talk Like the cocks of the walk, But they canit touch the Juniors at all. :i.4,,d- in , f pr, hfgzh, lr.. -.4 .a:4.:.- EF-1-E--ui-E-ri ' ' 1.1-ff. 1