Western Union College - Pilot Yearbook (Le Mars, IA)

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SQUINTS THROUGH THE DORM Weriili Hall has a hospitable atmosphere. It welcomes grocers, lovers, misogynists, laundrymen, QUARTETS, ping-pongers, and various other reptiles. The rugs show peculiar erosions. Foot-shaped grooves in groups of four are hol- lowed into the Hoors. ' If one could only bottle up the tunes that escape from the piano, there would be everything from The Call of the Wild to Just Before the Battle. Then there's the telephone right out in the open where conversations are perpetu- ally audible. Sometimes you might hear, Hello, are you there? Can't you go? I believe you could ride in one of the cars with the Girls' Glee Club, they won't mind having only ten in one car. Why don't you come over? I haven't seen you for two whole hours. A11 right-l'll be seeing you. In small inclosed compartments the fair ones live. These rooms contain every- thing from mouse traps and masculine photographs to artificial dogs. The internal order of this home of many cherubs is tranquil except when it is chaotic. Not a sound is ever heard through the corridors. The inhabitants study incessantly until the matron comes and removes their books and gently reminds them that they must have diversion. Then they gather en masse and go to a collegiate debate that their souls might be enraptured and refreshed. This dorm life is varied and no two days are ever alike because Union Hall often contributes to its interest. AS WE FIND THEM Found in a Frosh registration card: Question-Give parents' names. Answer-lVIama and Papa. ' lVIr. Cates: Greece used to be a powerful nation. What is it now? Norman Jorgenson: Twenty cents a pound. Dr. Zuehl: I suppose if you inherited five dollars from your grandfather, that would be heredity. I Olson: No, that would be a miracle! Son: I ran all the way home behind a street car and saved a dime. Father: Why didn't you run behind a taxicab and save a dollar? Freshie: What's a divorce suit? Soph: The opposite of a union suit. Page 120

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A FEW ALREADY CRACKED Peterson: This new roommate of mine studies a lot. Shive: Patience, old man, you can easily break him of that habit. Warden: Have you any questions to ask before I turn the current on ? Convict: 'fYeahl VVhat does the paper say about the weather for tomorrow ? Does the coach have the team under control? Does he? Say, every time he gets a headache everyone on the varsity takes an aspirin. Oh, freshman! VVhat hazing has been committed on thy frame! Student fto elderly auntjz Let's walk down here, Aunt Ivlelinda, I want you to see our football field. 21 Aunt Meliiida Ctrying to pleasej : Oh, how sweety I've always been anxious to see field of footballs in full bloom. Can you spell homicide ? I can make a stab at it. So you've bought another car, professor ? Yesg I couldn't remember exactly where I parked the other one. Haas: Have you been getting a hair-cut ? Bayless No! I just had my ears moved down an inch. Vivienne: He is heaven's answer to a squi1jrel's prayer. Reynolds: He must be a nut. L,., U 1 -H' Dentist: Every tooth in your head should cbme out. Scotchman: How much would the new ones cost me? Dentist: f'Seventy-five dollars. Scotchman: And how much allowance on the old ones ?' !! l Lian fat door of sorority housej: Is May in P Beautiful Cbut dumb, Pledge: May who? lVIan fbecoming exasperatedl : VVhy, lVIay O'Naise, of course. Beautiful fbut not so dunibj Pledge : Sorry, but bday O'Naise is dressing. Skelton: Hey, I wanna exchange this text book. Mfr. Hix: Too lateg you've had it a whole term. Skelton But I just found out that eve1y other page is missing Page 119

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ANNUAL FRESH MEN-SOPHOMORE FOOTBALL CLASH Before a throng of one hundred tumultuous rooters the Sophomores and Freshmen shed blood on the football field. But these strenuous tactics were all in vain, for the final result was 6 to 6 in favor of the Seniors. lf it had not been for the shrubbery at the west end of the field, the Freshmen would likely have saved the 1933 colors from a tie. Because of a tree which hid Koehler from the view of his teammate in the final minutes of the game, the cause was lost. Koehler could not be seen and as a result, the pass was incomplete. Koehler is not long enough across to run around behind trees and hide himself. The Sophomores made gain after gain only to be thrown for a 994yard loss or a six-inch penalty. just plain tough luck kept the Sophomores from beating the Fresh- men IOO to 6. Next year the Freshmen are not going to be allowed to carry rabbit foot charms while playing the annual football classic. Kimm of Hlairstown, Voss of China, Riter of Dalton, Step-and-one-half DePree, and Gralapp the fountain man were the best performers for the Sophomores. Hasbrooke, a local banker: lVIohan of Koenigsg Koehler, the human stringg and lVIcClelland were outstanding for the Freshmen. JUST LIKE IT He: There are nine members of m 1 familv and we are 'ust like a baseball team. 5 . 1 .l She: What position does your father play He: Father is a pitcher-the other eight support him. She: And our mother? ' Y He: She is the catcher. VVhatever happens mother always catches it. P37 She: What a queer family-just like a ball team. He: Yes: we live on a farm, and my brothers play in the outfield. f Page 121