Western High School - Occident Yearbook (Bay City, MI)

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How many has she counterfeit tcount her feetj. Theorem-A Freshman is an affliction. Given-A Freshman. - To Prove-That a Freshman is an affliction. Proof-A Freshman is new, new means not old, not old means not stale, not stale means fresh, fresh means sI'Yla1't, smart means pain, pain means affliction Lthings equal to same thing are equal to each otherj. Freshman is an affliction. Miss McKinney tat close of 4th periodj- Be sure the aisles are picked up. Teacher- Glen, is life worth living? Toutant- It all depends on the liver. Excuse handed to Miss McKinney by Garry: I have given Garry Ensing per- mission to see Ruth Anderson on English work. H. E. Ten Eyck. After the game is over, After the field is clear, Straighten my nose and shoulder, And help me find my ear. WouIdn't it be a surprise to see- Ross Beattie not talking to a girl? Lewis Powrie singing Perfect Day '? Nelson not throwing shot in the session room? Maybelle Ke ly going home alone at noon? Hazen Hershey dancing? Davis catching some notorious bandit? The Freshman really human? VVestern remodeled into a new school? Miscellaneous-Who? The Rosetto stone was a missionary to Turkey. Two explorers of the Mississippi were Romeo and Juliet. Two provisions of Penn's charter were corn and tobacco. A mountain range is a large sized cook stove. The equator is 'a znenagerie lion tan imaginary lineb running around the earth. Louis XVI. was ge'atined during the French revolution. , 'Mr. Morris tpointing to a circlej- W'hat kind of a circle is this? Roscoe Snyder- Why, a round circle, of course. The tall pine pines- The paw-paw paws, The bumble-bee bumbles all day: The grasshopper hops, The eave-dropper drops, While the cow-slips gentfy away. Lewis Powrie- Surely there must have been some mistake about my test paper. I don't think I deserve an absolute zero. Miss Caldwell- Neither do I. Mr. Powrie, but it is the lowest mark I am al- lowed to give. 4. u u With Morris in geometry: ' Parallel lines are the same distance apart ail the way and do not meet unless you bend them. An angle is a triangle with only two sides. Geometry teaches us to bisex angles. With -Miss Bothe in English: Textbooks in English history should not be given to pupils in the 5th grade and vice versa. The Sales law is that you must take everything with a grain of salt. 'tVocationa! education is training the voice. Miss Bell's English class: Gender shows whether a man is masculine. feminine or neuterf' An abstract noun is something you cannot see when you are looking at it.f' Feminine gender of 'Friar' is 'Toa.stress'. Feminine gender of 'Bull' is Bouillon'. 91

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Hattie W.- Do you stifl walk in your sleep, Miss Caldwell? Miss Caldwell- No, I've stopped it. I take car-fare to bed with me now. HE'D RATHER. Heard on an M. C. Train nearing city: Porter- Next stop is yo' station. Shall I brush you off? Lewis Powrie- No, when the train stops I'll step off. DIISPUTED TERRITORY. Oh, mother, I'll never disobey you again! said Ethel, tearfully. VVhy, Ethel, what have you done? Well, I drank some mi k at lunch and then I ate-a pickle: and the milk said to the pickle, Here you, get out of here! and the pickle said, I won't. And now they are having an awful fuss. Miss Hood lin home economics class, in talking of respirationj- If it comes in short pants it is dangerous. Student- Be wise, wear long pants. Heard in history classes: Grams Gracchus passed a law that all the people should eat at the public corncribf' The Pha'anx is a kind of a trench behind which the soldiers go and are pro- tected frorn the enemy. Culture was transmitted to the west from the east by water, by horseback and by caravans of oxen. Teacher- VVhen you put coal in the stove, what great man does it make you think of? Selwyn P.- Philip the Great Gill up the grateb. lnseparables- Beattie and his looking glass. Marion and Hayden. Hazen and his gum. Albert Fischer and his smile. Cuddy and his giggle. Toutant and his Hah! Hah! Hah! Nelson and the girls fanyb. Edwin Greenleaf and his Websterian jaw-breakers. Wm. Schumaker and his surp'us weight. Clarence Hare and his turtle stunts. l HIGH SCHOOL PROVERBS. A student with doubtful recitations never gets the benefit of the doubt. He gets a con . Nothing increases chest expansion quite so much as a football monogram. A flunker is a person who loves a subject too well to leave it. The real reason Why a bald head is like heaven is because it is a bright and shining spot and there is no parting. WHAT'S THE ANSWER? Suppose a financially embarrassed man wears pants with checks in them? fFa.t S. seen grinning broadlyj , What's the joke, Fat? ' Fat silently indicated an ad in The Times, it read: Fat folks reduced, Sl. Did you try it, Fat? I '. Fat- Yes. l How much were you reduced? Fat- Sl, you boneheadf' First Student- Ever read Looking Backwardsu? Second Student- Yes, once, in an exam. and I was canned for it. V. Method tin debating clubj-- Was my argument sound, Mr. Perkins? Mr. Perkins- Why, yes-mostly. C. Pettit picked out half a. dozen shirts at Ford M Simons. Charge them up, he said. Certainly, said the clerk, but I must have some security. Pettit pondered for a moment. All right, he answered, then keep one of the shirts. 90

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Mr. Garlock tin hortlculturel-- How can you get rid of potato bugs in a gar- den, Mr. Shaver? W Cuddy- Keep a toad. I R. Beattie to Mrs. Meeker- Do you think I will ever be able to do anything with my voice? Mrs. M.- It might come in handy in case of a. shipwreck or a fire, Ross. A boy in zooloby- Mr, Garlock, do fish drink the Water they live in ? Mr. Garlock- Why, of course: do you think they would come up to some soda water fountain? , Ist. Girl- Have you ever been baptised? 2nd Girl- Yes, I have the mark on my arm yet. IF YOU WANT A KISS, WHY, TAKE IT. I. There's a jolly Saxon proverb That is pretty much like this: That a man is half in heaven If he has at woman's kiss. There is danger in delaying, For the sweetness may forsake it, So I tell you, bashful lover, If you want a kiss, why, take it. II. Never let another fellow , Steal a. march on you in this, Never let a laughing maiden See you spoiling for a kiss. There's a royal way to kissing, And the jolly ones who make it, Have a motto that is winning- If you want a kiss, why, take it. III Any fool may face a cannonl Anybody wear a crown. But a man must win a woman If he'd have her for his own. Would you have the golden apple, You must find the tree and shake it, If the thing is worth the having, And you want a kiss, why, take it. IV. W'ho would burn upon a desert With a forest smiling by,? Who would change the sunny summer For a bleak and wintry day? Oh! I tell you, there is magic, And you cannot, cannot break it, For the sweetest part of loving Is to want a kiss, and take it. -This was found at Eastern. W . 92 I