Western High School - Occident Yearbook (Bay City, MI)

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Hattie W.- Do you stifl walk in your sleep, Miss Caldwell? Miss Caldwell- No, I've stopped it. I take car-fare to bed with me now. HE'D RATHER. Heard on an M. C. Train nearing city: Porter- Next stop is yo' station. Shall I brush you off? Lewis Powrie- No, when the train stops I'll step off. DIISPUTED TERRITORY. Oh, mother, I'll never disobey you again! said Ethel, tearfully. VVhy, Ethel, what have you done? Well, I drank some mi k at lunch and then I ate-a pickle: and the milk said to the pickle, Here you, get out of here! and the pickle said, I won't. And now they are having an awful fuss. Miss Hood lin home economics class, in talking of respirationj- If it comes in short pants it is dangerous. Student- Be wise, wear long pants. Heard in history classes: Grams Gracchus passed a law that all the people should eat at the public corncribf' The Pha'anx is a kind of a trench behind which the soldiers go and are pro- tected frorn the enemy. Culture was transmitted to the west from the east by water, by horseback and by caravans of oxen. Teacher- VVhen you put coal in the stove, what great man does it make you think of? Selwyn P.- Philip the Great Gill up the grateb. lnseparables- Beattie and his looking glass. Marion and Hayden. Hazen and his gum. Albert Fischer and his smile. Cuddy and his giggle. Toutant and his Hah! Hah! Hah! Nelson and the girls fanyb. Edwin Greenleaf and his Websterian jaw-breakers. Wm. Schumaker and his surp'us weight. Clarence Hare and his turtle stunts. l HIGH SCHOOL PROVERBS. A student with doubtful recitations never gets the benefit of the doubt. He gets a con . Nothing increases chest expansion quite so much as a football monogram. A flunker is a person who loves a subject too well to leave it. The real reason Why a bald head is like heaven is because it is a bright and shining spot and there is no parting. WHAT'S THE ANSWER? Suppose a financially embarrassed man wears pants with checks in them? fFa.t S. seen grinning broadlyj , What's the joke, Fat? ' Fat silently indicated an ad in The Times, it read: Fat folks reduced, Sl. Did you try it, Fat? I '. Fat- Yes. l How much were you reduced? Fat- Sl, you boneheadf' First Student- Ever read Looking Backwardsu? Second Student- Yes, once, in an exam. and I was canned for it. V. Method tin debating clubj-- Was my argument sound, Mr. Perkins? Mr. Perkins- Why, yes-mostly. C. Pettit picked out half a. dozen shirts at Ford M Simons. Charge them up, he said. Certainly, said the clerk, but I must have some security. Pettit pondered for a moment. All right, he answered, then keep one of the shirts. 90

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Mr. Gai'lock- What is an oyster? Freshie- An oyster is a fish built like a nut. l Vvillie Cin correspondence classj- Mr. Ten Eyck, when is it correct to use the closing phrase, I am yours ? Mr. T.- When you are married. If a steak is tough, is a bartender? If a Ford lacks beauty, what does a Cadillac? Mr Garlock- VVhy do the leaves on the trees turn red in the fall? Cuddy- They're blushing to think how green they've been all summer. VVhat is a primeval forest, Pat? Pat- Place where the hand of man has never set foot. VVhy did you tell her what I told you not to tell? Did she tell you that I told her not to tell you that I told her? Well, I promised her I wouldn't tell you she told me, but don't you tell her I told you. Freshie- Did you ever see the Catskill feats killb mts.? Senior- No, but I've seen -them kill mice. Glen T. tto ticket agentb- Pm going to Saginaw. Ticket Agent- W'ell, do you want transportation, or are you just telling your troubles? Lost-An umbrella belonging to a gentheman with at bent rib and a bone handle. Homer N.- Did your watch stop when you dropped it on the floor? Clarence S.- Sure thing. Did you think it would go right through? Senior-- That girl accepts rings from men she d0esn't kn0W. Freshie- How can she? Senior- She's a telephone girl. Wouldn't it be strange if: Effie P. was never late? Clarence S. were as fat as he is tall? Will Schumaker took the rolling cure for fulness? Ethel Sherwood had long hair? Lewis Powrie was a gallant young man. Leroy Keeley grew a. little? V If all the fog whistles stopped blowing would Glen Toutant Cttot onl? Violinist Lto his daughterj- VVhy do you use paint? Daughter- For the same reason that you use rosin. Father- How's that? Daughter- Why, to help me draw my beau. WANTED Teachers that issue lessons without work. Appw Lewis Powrie. A specialist to train pompadour. Apply Leroy1Keeley. A girl such as mother used to tell about. Apply Dewey Meyers. People to leave their mi'k on porches where it can be easily obtained. Apply for directions, W. M. T. A car for modern convenience. Apply Ross Beattie. A new dye for red hair. Apply Nelson Gilbert and Floyd Nichols. A bank where we can deposit scme of our Nichols. Apply VVestern High School. Shingles or paint for his new house CMargaretJ. Apply Dub Harris. Supply of olives that wi'l never run out.' Apply Eva Tiflin. Miss Bell in English asked a little Freshie to tell the direction of his doctor's office. He started to tell but got mixed up so she asked: Where are you now? 'Tm down in Salzburg somewhere, he answered. Eva Tiflln- And you wish to have this poem published in the Annual? V. Method- Yes, but don't put my name on it. Eva T.- Then I can't publish it. V. Method- VVhy not? Eva T.- Because I don't want to do some innocent person an injustice. 89

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How many has she counterfeit tcount her feetj. Theorem-A Freshman is an affliction. Given-A Freshman. - To Prove-That a Freshman is an affliction. Proof-A Freshman is new, new means not old, not old means not stale, not stale means fresh, fresh means sI'Yla1't, smart means pain, pain means affliction Lthings equal to same thing are equal to each otherj. Freshman is an affliction. Miss McKinney tat close of 4th periodj- Be sure the aisles are picked up. Teacher- Glen, is life worth living? Toutant- It all depends on the liver. Excuse handed to Miss McKinney by Garry: I have given Garry Ensing per- mission to see Ruth Anderson on English work. H. E. Ten Eyck. After the game is over, After the field is clear, Straighten my nose and shoulder, And help me find my ear. WouIdn't it be a surprise to see- Ross Beattie not talking to a girl? Lewis Powrie singing Perfect Day '? Nelson not throwing shot in the session room? Maybelle Ke ly going home alone at noon? Hazen Hershey dancing? Davis catching some notorious bandit? The Freshman really human? VVestern remodeled into a new school? Miscellaneous-Who? The Rosetto stone was a missionary to Turkey. Two explorers of the Mississippi were Romeo and Juliet. Two provisions of Penn's charter were corn and tobacco. A mountain range is a large sized cook stove. The equator is 'a znenagerie lion tan imaginary lineb running around the earth. Louis XVI. was ge'atined during the French revolution. , 'Mr. Morris tpointing to a circlej- W'hat kind of a circle is this? Roscoe Snyder- Why, a round circle, of course. The tall pine pines- The paw-paw paws, The bumble-bee bumbles all day: The grasshopper hops, The eave-dropper drops, While the cow-slips gentfy away. Lewis Powrie- Surely there must have been some mistake about my test paper. I don't think I deserve an absolute zero. Miss Caldwell- Neither do I. Mr. Powrie, but it is the lowest mark I am al- lowed to give. 4. u u With Morris in geometry: ' Parallel lines are the same distance apart ail the way and do not meet unless you bend them. An angle is a triangle with only two sides. Geometry teaches us to bisex angles. With -Miss Bothe in English: Textbooks in English history should not be given to pupils in the 5th grade and vice versa. The Sales law is that you must take everything with a grain of salt. 'tVocationa! education is training the voice. Miss Bell's English class: Gender shows whether a man is masculine. feminine or neuterf' An abstract noun is something you cannot see when you are looking at it.f' Feminine gender of 'Friar' is 'Toa.stress'. Feminine gender of 'Bull' is Bouillon'. 91