Western High School - Occident Yearbook (Bay City, MI)

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Mr. Gai'lock- What is an oyster? Freshie- An oyster is a fish built like a nut. l Vvillie Cin correspondence classj- Mr. Ten Eyck, when is it correct to use the closing phrase, I am yours ? Mr. T.- When you are married. If a steak is tough, is a bartender? If a Ford lacks beauty, what does a Cadillac? Mr Garlock- VVhy do the leaves on the trees turn red in the fall? Cuddy- They're blushing to think how green they've been all summer. VVhat is a primeval forest, Pat? Pat- Place where the hand of man has never set foot. VVhy did you tell her what I told you not to tell? Did she tell you that I told her not to tell you that I told her? Well, I promised her I wouldn't tell you she told me, but don't you tell her I told you. Freshie- Did you ever see the Catskill feats killb mts.? Senior- No, but I've seen -them kill mice. Glen T. tto ticket agentb- Pm going to Saginaw. Ticket Agent- W'ell, do you want transportation, or are you just telling your troubles? Lost-An umbrella belonging to a gentheman with at bent rib and a bone handle. Homer N.- Did your watch stop when you dropped it on the floor? Clarence S.- Sure thing. Did you think it would go right through? Senior-- That girl accepts rings from men she d0esn't kn0W. Freshie- How can she? Senior- She's a telephone girl. Wouldn't it be strange if: Effie P. was never late? Clarence S. were as fat as he is tall? Will Schumaker took the rolling cure for fulness? Ethel Sherwood had long hair? Lewis Powrie was a gallant young man. Leroy Keeley grew a. little? V If all the fog whistles stopped blowing would Glen Toutant Cttot onl? Violinist Lto his daughterj- VVhy do you use paint? Daughter- For the same reason that you use rosin. Father- How's that? Daughter- Why, to help me draw my beau. WANTED Teachers that issue lessons without work. Appw Lewis Powrie. A specialist to train pompadour. Apply Leroy1Keeley. A girl such as mother used to tell about. Apply Dewey Meyers. People to leave their mi'k on porches where it can be easily obtained. Apply for directions, W. M. T. A car for modern convenience. Apply Ross Beattie. A new dye for red hair. Apply Nelson Gilbert and Floyd Nichols. A bank where we can deposit scme of our Nichols. Apply VVestern High School. Shingles or paint for his new house CMargaretJ. Apply Dub Harris. Supply of olives that wi'l never run out.' Apply Eva Tiflin. Miss Bell in English asked a little Freshie to tell the direction of his doctor's office. He started to tell but got mixed up so she asked: Where are you now? 'Tm down in Salzburg somewhere, he answered. Eva Tiflln- And you wish to have this poem published in the Annual? V. Method- Yes, but don't put my name on it. Eva T.- Then I can't publish it. V. Method- VVhy not? Eva T.- Because I don't want to do some innocent person an injustice. 89

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New Minister- Good evening, my young friend, do you ever attend a place of Worship? W Jim Tyson- Yes, indeed, sir: regularly every Sunday night. I'm on my way to see her now. First Girl- Is your hat Napoleon or Washington style? Second Girl- Why, Napoleon, of course. . First Girl- But where is the Bonapar'e? If it's arguments, troub'e, or Freshie girls ,that's bothering you, get your advice from D. Meyers. , , Phillips- Morris reminds me of Atlantic City. - Gilbert- Why ? I Phillips- Because of his bored walk V Mr, Crawford tin algebral- Did you work your examples Spencer? S. Goodwin- No. sir. I haven't any book, haven't found it since it was taken. Crawford- I can sell you another. E. Ackermann is taking zoology, said the Freshman. No need for him to. he is a whole menagerie in himself, replied the Junior. Garry Ensing Qin zoo'ogyJ- And, Mr. Garlolck, do the rubber sponges grow farther south? 1 ' Ask Nelson Gilbert to translate Die Decke des Boderisf' Mr. Garlock fin chemistry. talking about the! manufacture of sulphuric acidl - Mr Powrie. how is butter made? ' Lewis tthinking of sulphuric acidj- Well, you take some iron fillings-Huh, Well what are you laughing at? I Mr. Perkins- Nome and describe two zones. Miles Bristo'- Masculine and feminine. The masculine are temperate and in- temperateg the feminine are both horrible and frigiidf' Freshie to Librarian- Have you nov 'T:-1mb's T:1les'? Librarian- No, this isn't a meat market. X VVm. Schumacher tto boy who was roller skating and wh How dare you run into me? i Boy- But Mister, I tried to get around you. , 1 Miss Bishop tin history c'a.ssJ-- You know all our names cupation our ancestors were engaged in. Q Somebody- Goodness, what about Reg. Crooks then ? Keynote of good breeding. B natural. 1 Keynote of stupidity, A flat. Keynote of wisdom, C sharp. . Keynote of shrewdness, B sharp. A jolly young chemist tough, - YVhile mixing a compound of stuff, Dropped a match in a vial, and after awhile, They found his front teeth and a cuff. Teacher- How was Caesar kil'ed'? Freshie- He was stabbed in the senate. y Love ,in Parenthesislf I. ' In our little boat. We drift and float. Under the sheltering trees: And I feel the flush Of her cheek's warm b'ush. , As it's kissed fby the passing streaml. II. In our little canoe, That was built for two, Just I and not any more, We love and love fthe stars abovel And we hug and hug fthe shorel. 88 W

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Hattie W.- Do you stifl walk in your sleep, Miss Caldwell? Miss Caldwell- No, I've stopped it. I take car-fare to bed with me now. HE'D RATHER. Heard on an M. C. Train nearing city: Porter- Next stop is yo' station. Shall I brush you off? Lewis Powrie- No, when the train stops I'll step off. DIISPUTED TERRITORY. Oh, mother, I'll never disobey you again! said Ethel, tearfully. VVhy, Ethel, what have you done? Well, I drank some mi k at lunch and then I ate-a pickle: and the milk said to the pickle, Here you, get out of here! and the pickle said, I won't. And now they are having an awful fuss. Miss Hood lin home economics class, in talking of respirationj- If it comes in short pants it is dangerous. Student- Be wise, wear long pants. Heard in history classes: Grams Gracchus passed a law that all the people should eat at the public corncribf' The Pha'anx is a kind of a trench behind which the soldiers go and are pro- tected frorn the enemy. Culture was transmitted to the west from the east by water, by horseback and by caravans of oxen. Teacher- VVhen you put coal in the stove, what great man does it make you think of? Selwyn P.- Philip the Great Gill up the grateb. lnseparables- Beattie and his looking glass. Marion and Hayden. Hazen and his gum. Albert Fischer and his smile. Cuddy and his giggle. Toutant and his Hah! Hah! Hah! Nelson and the girls fanyb. Edwin Greenleaf and his Websterian jaw-breakers. Wm. Schumaker and his surp'us weight. Clarence Hare and his turtle stunts. l HIGH SCHOOL PROVERBS. A student with doubtful recitations never gets the benefit of the doubt. He gets a con . Nothing increases chest expansion quite so much as a football monogram. A flunker is a person who loves a subject too well to leave it. The real reason Why a bald head is like heaven is because it is a bright and shining spot and there is no parting. WHAT'S THE ANSWER? Suppose a financially embarrassed man wears pants with checks in them? fFa.t S. seen grinning broadlyj , What's the joke, Fat? ' Fat silently indicated an ad in The Times, it read: Fat folks reduced, Sl. Did you try it, Fat? I '. Fat- Yes. l How much were you reduced? Fat- Sl, you boneheadf' First Student- Ever read Looking Backwardsu? Second Student- Yes, once, in an exam. and I was canned for it. V. Method tin debating clubj-- Was my argument sound, Mr. Perkins? Mr. Perkins- Why, yes-mostly. C. Pettit picked out half a. dozen shirts at Ford M Simons. Charge them up, he said. Certainly, said the clerk, but I must have some security. Pettit pondered for a moment. All right, he answered, then keep one of the shirts. 90