Western Canada High School - Yearbook (Calgary, Alberta Canada)

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BOOK Page seventy-one Myrtle: “You know I didn’t accept Ernie the first time that he proposed.” Ruth: “I guess not; you weren’t there.” Em. Irving, driving at 60 M.P.H.: “Listen to that engine knock.” Marg. H.: “Tha—tha—that’s my kn-kn-kn-knees.” D. Patterson translated the Latin “Haec in omnibus ad Romana tibi celeritate” as follows: “You can hike to Rome in an omnibus quicker.” Mr. Flick: “Why does lightning never strike in the same place twice?” P. Wolochow: “It completes the job the first time.” J. Macqueen: “Archimedes discovered specific gravity while in his bath; I wonder why it never occurred to him before.” C. Mackey: “Maybe it was the first time he took a bath.” Mr. Dobson: “Bill, give me a definition of home.” B. Pentland: “Home is that place where part of the family waits until the other finish using the car.” S. Patterson: “They say travel brings out the best in a man.” B. Ireland: “You’re telling me, I found that out the first day I was on the boat.” Mr. Harding: “Give me one great change that can be attributed to chemistry.” J. West: “Modern blondes.” Mrs. Bagnall: “Bill, why aren’t you taking any books home?” B. Uren: “I did once and I lost it.” M. Rea: “Your cough is improving, Anne.” A. Levinson: “It ought to be, I practised it all night.” Mr. Harding: “Where has Frank been these last two years?” Mr. Johnson: “At college, taking medicine.” Mr. Harding: “Did he finally get well?” A minister attempted this eulogy at a funeral: “We have here only the shell; the nut is gone.”

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Page seventy YEAR Mrs. Bagnall—“And so, Elizabeth stood by and let Mary be beheaded, but she never got over it and neither did.” . . . She waits a moment expecting to hear James. Bill Campbell—“Neither did Mary.” Mr. Stanley is wondering if he can comply with this request— Dear Mr. Stanley: Please excuse Jim from school at the end of this term. He has been at your school for five years, and must now go elsewhere. Yours truly, J. H. DOE.

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Page seventy-two YEAR The best reducing exercise known is to shake the head violently from side to side when offered a second helping. A Scotchman has found a new use for old razor blades — he shaves with them. “Quite the contrary,” replied the passenger on the ship, when asked if he had dined. He: “My treasure.” She: “My treasury.” HO HUM Waitress: “Hawaii, gentlemen, you must he Hungary.” First Customer: “Yes, Siam, but we can’t Rumania long. Venice lunch ready?” Waitress: “I’ll Russia to a table.” Second Customer: “Can’t Jamaica little speed.” Waitress: “I don’t think we can Fiji that fast, but Alaska.” Customer: “O.K. Just put a Cuba sugar in my Java.” Waitress: “Sweden it yourself, I’m just here to Servia.” Second Customer: “Denmark our bill and call the Bosphorus. He’ll prob¬ ably Kanya. I don’t Bolivia know who I am.” Waitress: “No and I don’t Carribean.” Boss: “Samoa your wisecracks, is it? What’s got India? You think this arguing Alps business?” Both Customers: “Canada noise. We Moscow now.” —Apologies to “The Challenge.” Some people are like taxi drivers — they go through life just missing everything. Sign on a local cafe: “Good clean meals—every day except Sunday.” Sign on a newly painted wall: “This is a partition, not a petition—no signatures needed.”