Western Canada High School - Yearbook (Calgary, Alberta Canada)

Page 70 text:

Page 68 YEAR JOKES —Continued Funny Gregg—“Are you doing anything Tuesday night?’’ Edythe Lincoln (expectantly)—“Not a thing.” Funny Gregg— Fine! You won ' t be tired on Wednesday morning. Miss McCracken—“You must learn to visualize.” (Lecturing on Milton’s Para¬ dise Lost) Can’t you see Satan before you?” Class (in unison)—“Yes, Miss McCracken.” ¥ ¥ ¥ Lloyd Smith—“Why don’t you put on.your slicker? Tom Pinder—-“I can’t. 1 got a book in my hand and it.won ' t go through the sleeve.” ¥ Ches Burns-—“Did you fill your date last night?” Graham Miller— Yes. She ate everything in sight. ' .’ ¥ ¥ Uncle— My boy, think of the future.” Ted Willis—“I can’t. It’s my girl’s birthday, and I must think of the present.” Clerk—“This physics book will do half your work for you.” Pat White— Good! I’ll take two of them.” ¥ ¥-. ¥ Miss James—“What is your idea of harmony?” Barry Himmelman— A freckle faced girl in a polka dot dress leading a giraffe.” ¥ ¥ ¥ Betty Priestly— You sure think you are good looking, don ' t you?” Joe O’Connor—“Well, no, but what is my opinion against that of hundreds of vomen?” ¥ ¥ ¥ Art Burns—“I had a consultation with a mind reader last night.” Stan James— How did she enjoy the rest?” ¥ ¥ ¥ Mr. Stanley— What! You back again.” Belkin—“The inside of your letter said ‘Suspended for two months,’ but the out¬ side said ‘Return in five days.’ ”

Page 69 text:

BOOK Page 67 JOKES —Continued Mrs. Robertson— How many times have I told you to get to this period on time.” Peggy MacDonald— I ' ll bite. I thought you were keeping score. » Information, What?—The night was dark. The lights of the tourist s car would not reach the top of the signpost, and the tourist was undoubedly lost. Spurred by necessity, he climbed the post, struck a match. The sign read, Wet Paint. Have you seen A1 lately? A1 what?” Alcohol. Kerosene him yesterday. Hasn ' t benzine since. Gasolined against a fence and took a naptha. ♦ ■» Jack Blight— You went down to the sea, and it recognized you? How do you figure that? Alan Spence— Well, it waved to me. Mr. Flick— Hodsmythe, define a bolt and a nut and explain the difference, if any. Hodsmythe— A bolt is a thing like a stick of hard metal such as iron with a square bunch on one end and a lot of scratching wound around the other end. A nut is similar to a bolt only just the opposite, being a hole in a little chunk of iron sawed off short with wrinkles around the inside of the hole.” Dan Osborne— I think the driver in that car ahead must be Miss McCracken, a teacher I had when I was in school.” Allen Stewart— What makes you think that? iJan— Well, she was just as stubborn about letting me pass.” ♦ » Mr. Stevenson— There ' s a pupil in this class who ' s making a fool of himself. When he’s through I ' ll commence.” A Drunk (after bumping into the same pole for the fifth time)— Losht, losht in an impenetrable forest. Cameron Smith— What makes your face so red? Ruth Murray— Cause. Smith— Cause what? Ruth— Cosmetics. ,

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JOKES —Continued Marion Egleston was reading from the composition book when she came to a word she could not pronounce. Barque,” prompted Mr. Stevenson. Marion giggled. “Barque,” exclaimed Mr. Stevenson, harshly. Marion (obediently)— Bow-wow! Roly Richardson—“I saw Sandy during the eclipse.” Jim Macqueen— Where?” Roly— Running to the station trying to send a night letter.” Roberta Todd— I wonder how many men will be disappointed when I marry? Bill Sheldon— It depends on how many men you marry.” Mr. Flick— Dyke, what is the meaning of a vacuum?” Sid Dyke— Please, sir, I don’t know; I have it in my head, but I can’t express it.” Mr. Harding— What is a flame test?” Geo, Dickson—“Ask her to go for a ride in a street car.” ■ • • • • •••, • : [H j, • Mrs. Hunter— Doris, go wash your face and neck. Doris— Neck whom? Mrs. Stanley— Where is the car? .. a-: Mr. Stanley— Dear me! Did I take the car out? Mrs. Stanley— Of course you did! You drove it to school.” Mr. Stanley— I remember now that after I got out I turned around to thank the gentleman who gave me a lift and wondered where he had gone.” LJU Teacher— Who can name one important thing we have now that we did not have a hundred years ago?” John Davidson— Me! Les Anderson— You gave that cloak-room attendant a big tip, old boy.’ Bill Pentland— Well, he gave me a good coat.”