Western Canada High School - Yearbook (Calgary, Alberta Canada)

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BOOK Page seventy-nine Nelson—“If you want to get thin you must eat only fruit, toast, lean meat, and drink orange juice.” Jacobs—“Before or after meals?” Critic—“Gee, but you’ve got a lot of rotten jokes in this Year Book.” Clarke—“Oh, I don’t know; I put a lot of them in the fire and it just roared.” Proud Lady—“You know, my husband plays the organ.” Friend—“Well, if things don’t improve, mine will have to get one too.” Mr. Flick—“If you face west, will north be at your right hand or at your left?” Quint—“I dunno. I’m a stranger in these parts.” Marriott (phoning theatre)—“Can you reserve me a box for two?” Puzzled Coice—“We don’t have boxes for two.” Marriott (angrily)—“Isn’t that the theatre?” Voice—“Mo, this is the undertaker.” Marjorie Bagnall was walking through a lunatic asylum. She came upon an inmate fishing in a pail of water. “How many have you caught?” she asked. “You’re the ninety-ninth,” was the reply. Sparling—“Ross Stanley has been sitting there all day doing nothing.” Hart— How do you know?” Sparling—“I’ve been sitting watching him.” Mrs. Bagnall—“When was the revival of learning?” MacKenzie—“Night before the exams.” Census Taker—“And how old are you, madam?” Lady—“I’ve seen twenty-five summers.” Census Taker—“And how long have you been blind?” Anderson-—“Don’t you think that plastic surgery could improve my fea¬ tures Potts—“No.” Anderson—“What remedy would you suggest?” Potts—“Blasting.” •I •l 1 ' K Wilson—“There’s something dove-like about her.” Barlow—“Yes, she’s pigeon-toed.” Balsdon—“My greatest ambition is to sing before the public.” Cook—“Well, why don’t you join the Salvation Army.” Boss—“Yes, I want an office boy. Do you smoke?” Yule—“No, but I wouldn’t mind an ice cream cone.” Wife—“What’s this?” Husband—“A pawn-ticket.” Wife—“Why didn’t you get two so we could both go?” •t •I ' Mr. Johnson (playing golf)—“Look at all those birds!” Caddie—“Yes, they’re following us for the worms.”

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Page seventy-eight YEAR Mr. Stevenson tells us that there’s a quaint old Scotch superstition that it’s unlucky to light thirteen on a match. Miss McCracken—“And I hope that I don’t catch you in any unlawful prac¬ tices while taking this exam.” Last Row—“You won’t; we’ve got a new system.” Davidson—“What are you writing?” Hutton—“A joke.” Davidson—Well, give her my love.” Traffic Cop—“Hey, didn’t you hear me yelling for you to stop?” Miss Atkinson—“Oh, was that you yelling? I thought that was just some one I had run over.” T. E. A. S.—“Now, if you subtract this series from the other, what is the difference?” Garbutt—“Yeah, that’s what I say. I think it’s a lotta bunk, too.” Ralph Hoar (in elevator)—“Fourth floor, please.” Operator—“Here you are, son.” R. H.—“How dare you call me son. You are not my father.” Operator—“Well, I brought you up, didn’t I?” Margaret Irving (learning to drive)—“That little mirror up there isn’t set right.” Salesman—“Isn’t it?” Margaret—“No, I can’t see a thing but the car behind.” Smith—“A good deal depends upon the formation of early habits.” Davidson—“I know it; when I was a baby my mother hired a woman to wheel me about and I’ve been pushed for money ever since.” Sargent—“Well, old man, I must be off.” Garbutt—“I though so the first time I met you.” Gofsky—“I can find anything if I look hard enough.” Besen—“Well, you sure look hard enough.” Strick—-“Is this peach or apple pie?” Jacobs—“Can’t you tell by the taste?” Strick—“No.” Jacobs—“Well, then, what difference does it make?” Teacher—“Fisher, I’m ashamed of you. Do you know any more jokes like that?” Fisher—“Yes, sir.” Teacher—“Well, then, stay in after school.” Some gulls were following a boat. Besen—“That’s a nice looking flock of pigeons.” Tourist—“Those are gulls.” Besen—“Well, gulls or boys, it’s a nice looking’ flock of pigeons.” Roily—“I’d like to see a first-class second-hand car!” O’Connor—“You and me both.” Carl Nickel says that beauty is often only skin dope.

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Page eighty YEAR Carrie Speer-—“That’s the best picture I ever painted.” Doris Riley—“Don’t let that discourage you.” Barber—“Do you mean to say you shave yourself all the time?” O’Connor—“Oh, I stop occasionally for meals.” Frank Johnson—“He was only the Chemistry teacher’s son, but he had some hot retorts.” T. E. A. S.—“Why are you late today, Whitehome?” Whitehorne—“That sign on Seventeenth Avenue says ‘School, go slow,’ and I guess I went too slow.” Conductor—“Madam, this transfer has expired.” Miss James—“Well, I’m not surprised, with the car so poorly ventilated.” Miss Sage—Tomorrow we shall have a test. Hundred Years’ War. We have not had one since the Mr. Collier—“Osborne, did you get anything right in that Latin sentence?” Osborne—“The period.” Heard at a local golf-course: Spencer—“Fisher, I’m sure you took 52.” Fisher—“No, I’ll swear it was only 51.” Spencer—“Well, let’s not argue, and get on with the second hole.” Doctor—“I’ll examine you for ten dollars.” Dave Collier—“Go to it. If you find it I’ll go fifty-fifty with you.” « Clerk—“But what is the name of the book you want?” Margaret Cawston—“I’m not sure, but I think it begins with ‘the.’ ” Lady—“Did you see that pile of wood in the yard?” Art Gill—“Yes’m, I seen it.” Lady—“You should be more careful with your grammar. You mean you saw it.” Art—“No’m, you saw me see it, but you ain’t seen me saw it.” Swan—“Who invented work?” Sayers—“Don’t worry, you’ll never infringe on his patent.”