Western Canada High School - Yearbook (Calgary, Alberta Canada)

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Page seventy-eight YEAR Mr. Stevenson tells us that there’s a quaint old Scotch superstition that it’s unlucky to light thirteen on a match. Miss McCracken—“And I hope that I don’t catch you in any unlawful prac¬ tices while taking this exam.” Last Row—“You won’t; we’ve got a new system.” Davidson—“What are you writing?” Hutton—“A joke.” Davidson—Well, give her my love.” Traffic Cop—“Hey, didn’t you hear me yelling for you to stop?” Miss Atkinson—“Oh, was that you yelling? I thought that was just some one I had run over.” T. E. A. S.—“Now, if you subtract this series from the other, what is the difference?” Garbutt—“Yeah, that’s what I say. I think it’s a lotta bunk, too.” Ralph Hoar (in elevator)—“Fourth floor, please.” Operator—“Here you are, son.” R. H.—“How dare you call me son. You are not my father.” Operator—“Well, I brought you up, didn’t I?” Margaret Irving (learning to drive)—“That little mirror up there isn’t set right.” Salesman—“Isn’t it?” Margaret—“No, I can’t see a thing but the car behind.” Smith—“A good deal depends upon the formation of early habits.” Davidson—“I know it; when I was a baby my mother hired a woman to wheel me about and I’ve been pushed for money ever since.” Sargent—“Well, old man, I must be off.” Garbutt—“I though so the first time I met you.” Gofsky—“I can find anything if I look hard enough.” Besen—“Well, you sure look hard enough.” Strick—-“Is this peach or apple pie?” Jacobs—“Can’t you tell by the taste?” Strick—“No.” Jacobs—“Well, then, what difference does it make?” Teacher—“Fisher, I’m ashamed of you. Do you know any more jokes like that?” Fisher—“Yes, sir.” Teacher—“Well, then, stay in after school.” Some gulls were following a boat. Besen—“That’s a nice looking flock of pigeons.” Tourist—“Those are gulls.” Besen—“Well, gulls or boys, it’s a nice looking’ flock of pigeons.” Roily—“I’d like to see a first-class second-hand car!” O’Connor—“You and me both.” Carl Nickel says that beauty is often only skin dope.

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BOOK Page seventy-seven McMurchy, out for a stroll, wandered through the church-yard, gazing idly on the inscriptions on the tombstones. “Not dead but sleeping,” read one particu¬ larly aged stone. McMurchy scratched his head, mediated for a minute, then re¬ marked, “He sure ain’t fooling anyone but himself.” Everything comes to him who orders hash. The following conversation was overheard when two Western Canada Grads met: First—“Well, I finally passed French.” Second—“Honestly ?” First—“Aw, don’t be so curious.” Mr. Gislason—“Go on with the translation, Yule.” Silence from Yule. Mr. Gislason—“Just dispense with the silent player and continue.” A man approached Hutton and said—“Would you join our society for the abolishing of tipping? The membership fee is twenty-five cents.” To which the doughty one replied, “In that case it will be cheaper for me to tip.” The train came to a grinding stop which jarred all the passengers. “What is the matter, conductor,” asked. Miss Maxwell. “We just ran over a cow,” replied the conductor. “Was it on the track?” “No, we chased it into a bam.” Bruce Jacobs entered a restaurant and sat down at a table. The waiter approached with a shuffling gait. Bruce—“Have you got frogs’ legs?” Waiter—“No, sir, I’ve got rheumatism.” Gregg—“I never speak to my inferiors, do you?” Hoar—“I dunno; I never met any of your inferiors.” Carrie Speer—“They say Barbara Jarman plays badminton just like a man.” Geraldine Mavor—“Wouldn’t you think she’d be ashamed to use such lan¬ guage?” ... Judge—“W. L. Hutton, eh; What is the charge, officer?” Officer—“Driving while in a state of extreme infatuation.” Mary Davidson (at fight)—“I heard some one yell ‘fowl.’ Where are the feathers ?” Spencer—“Oh, this is a fight between two picked men.” Betty—“Oh, look at the rhinoceros.” Gregg—“That’s not a rhinoceros, it’s a hippopotamus; can’t you see it ain’t got no radiator cap?” sK :Jc Mr. Harding—“What’s the difference between water and ice?” Taylor—“The price.” Corbet—“Do you like music?” Wales—“Yeah, but keep right on playing.” Miss Sage—“What is the Order of the Bath?” Russell—“Pa first, and then Ma, and then us kids.”

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BOOK Page seventy-nine Nelson—“If you want to get thin you must eat only fruit, toast, lean meat, and drink orange juice.” Jacobs—“Before or after meals?” Critic—“Gee, but you’ve got a lot of rotten jokes in this Year Book.” Clarke—“Oh, I don’t know; I put a lot of them in the fire and it just roared.” Proud Lady—“You know, my husband plays the organ.” Friend—“Well, if things don’t improve, mine will have to get one too.” Mr. Flick—“If you face west, will north be at your right hand or at your left?” Quint—“I dunno. I’m a stranger in these parts.” Marriott (phoning theatre)—“Can you reserve me a box for two?” Puzzled Coice—“We don’t have boxes for two.” Marriott (angrily)—“Isn’t that the theatre?” Voice—“Mo, this is the undertaker.” Marjorie Bagnall was walking through a lunatic asylum. She came upon an inmate fishing in a pail of water. “How many have you caught?” she asked. “You’re the ninety-ninth,” was the reply. Sparling—“Ross Stanley has been sitting there all day doing nothing.” Hart— How do you know?” Sparling—“I’ve been sitting watching him.” Mrs. Bagnall—“When was the revival of learning?” MacKenzie—“Night before the exams.” Census Taker—“And how old are you, madam?” Lady—“I’ve seen twenty-five summers.” Census Taker—“And how long have you been blind?” Anderson-—“Don’t you think that plastic surgery could improve my fea¬ tures Potts—“No.” Anderson—“What remedy would you suggest?” Potts—“Blasting.” •I •l 1 ' K Wilson—“There’s something dove-like about her.” Barlow—“Yes, she’s pigeon-toed.” Balsdon—“My greatest ambition is to sing before the public.” Cook—“Well, why don’t you join the Salvation Army.” Boss—“Yes, I want an office boy. Do you smoke?” Yule—“No, but I wouldn’t mind an ice cream cone.” Wife—“What’s this?” Husband—“A pawn-ticket.” Wife—“Why didn’t you get two so we could both go?” •t •I ' Mr. Johnson (playing golf)—“Look at all those birds!” Caddie—“Yes, they’re following us for the worms.”