Western Canada High School - Yearbook (Calgary, Alberta Canada)

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BOOK Page eighty-nine WS£ M0 i

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Page eighty-eight YEAR Marg. Russell claims men have less courage than women. We quote her as saying: “Imagine a man with fifteen cents in his pocket trying on eleven suits of clothes.” In playing cards a good deal depends on a good deal. Mr. Johnson entered the class and began: “Now students, pay particular attention to this: I have here a particularly fine specimen of a dissected frog.” Slowly he unfolded the paper, and disclosed some sandwiches and cold chicken. “But great Caesar,” he exclaimed, ‘surely I ate my lunch.” Goodison—“Throw up your hands—I’m going to shoot you.” Hoagland—“What for?” Goodison—“I always said if I ever met a man homlier than I, I’d kill him .” Hoagland—“Am I homlier than you?” Goodison—“You certainly are.” Hoagland—“Well then, go ahead and shoot.” Miss Atkinson—In trouble with the gears of her car on Eighth Avenue, absent-mindedly said to the point duty policeman—“I can’t attend to you yet, put your hand down.” A Gordon Cooper applied for a job in the summer holidays at a circus. The manager said, “Now, all you have to do is disguise yourself in the ape- skin and swing about on the rafters.” Everything went well for a few days, but one day Gordon accidentally fell into the lions’ cage. The audience gasped as the lion leaped towards the unfor¬ tunate “ape.” Just as Gordon was about to scream, the lion whispered: “Don’t scream, you fool, you are not the only school-boy looking for work this summer.” A book salesman approached Mr. Collier the other day and attempted some high-pressure salesmanship. “This book,” he said, “will do half your work for you.” “Good,” replied Mr. Collier. “I’ll take two.” Miss Sage—“Now, Sturgeon, what did Sir Walter Rawleigh say to Queen Elizabeth when he laid down his cloak for her to walk on?” Sturgeon (film struck)—“He said, ‘step on it, kid.’ ” • A.C.C.—“Why is Nickle sitting all day in Room 6?” T.E.A.S.—“Well, four teachers were hot on his trail this morning, and this seemed to be the only way to save his life.”

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Page ninety YEAR Mel. Snowden—“Jack Biddell certainly is dumb. He thinks a rugby coach has four wheels.” McElroy—“That is the height of dumbness. How many wheels has the darn thing anyway?” Bob Foulds (watching Pat Jacques eating peanuts)—“Down where I come from we use peanuts to fatten hogs.” Pat (sweetly)—“Is that so? Here, have some.” ♦ ♦ ♦ Grace—“What’s the matter, Don? You look worried.” Don—“Homework, Homework, Homework, from morning till night. It’s a dog’s life.” Grace—“How long have you been at it?” Don—“Oh, I start tomorrow.” “It’s the little things in life that tell,” said Carrie Speer, as she dragged her kid brother from underneath the sofa. Ruth Morgan—“What is repartee?” Dave Davidson—“Oh, merely an insult with its dress suit on.” The lights in a crowded street-car had failed and the passengers were thrown into confusion. “Can I find you a strap?” Jimmy McGill asked Alberta Ross at his side. “Thank you,” replied Alberta sweetly, “but I have already found one.” “Good,” replied Jimmy. “Then perhaps you wouldn’t mind letting go of my ❖ She—“But Mother I can’t marry him, he’s an atheist. He doesn’t believe there is a hell.” Mother—“Go ahead and marry him, dear, and between us we’ll show him that he is wrong.” Book Agent (to farmer)—“You ought to buy an encyclopaedia now that your boy is going to school.” Farmer—“Not on your life—let him walk the same as I did.” Magistrate (to man in dock)—“You are acquitted.” Man in Dock—“Does that mean I have to give up the watch ?