Westerly High School - Westlyan Yearbook (Westerly, RI)

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The Senior Year Book. — 1952 Patricia Greene, in her exotic Rio tearoom, tells fortunes by the exciting new methods of reading coffee grounds. Shirley Jordan, the world’s greatest sculptress, has just finished creating magnificent marble images of every member of the 1952 class of Westerly High School. Joyce Kaye, the amazing one-woman baseball team, is now playing in Yankee Stadium. June Taylor is running a convalescent home for retired broken-down teachers of W. H. S. in a secluded locale, north of the North Pole. William Ornberg is making his debut at the Metropolitan Opera House. His opening selections will be “Jealous Hearts” and “Home on the Range.” Barbara Kugler has won great fame by performing delicate brain operations in Mamone, Pluto. Joan Lavarini, owner of a banana plantation in Costa Rica, has reduced the water content of the banana from 3 4 to 1 16. Jean Hustwit has just rewritten the Constitution of the United States to cover Universal Government. Hers will be the greatest document in World History. The 1972 Olympics, which were held on the Moon, were the scene of Thomas Keena’s spectacular ski jump from the Moon to Helsinki, Finland. Dorothea Leach is newspaper editor of the Daily Drone, which has a universal circulation. Joyce Stewart, famous executive secretary, has just devised a new stenography system called “Stewart’s Will Do It.” Grace LoPriore, one of our greatest advertising artists, is illustrating a new product produced and sold by Angeline Ligouri, “Ligouri’s Luscious Lima Beans.” Robert Kenneth is a news dispatcher, who travels through the enormous corridors of the World Government Administrative Buildings on his twenty-five-horse-power jet scooter. Tony Grimes, shipyard superintendent of the H H Shipyards (owned and operated by Sylvia Host and Joan Hirst), is now processing a new plastic hydrogen ship. Helen Sweeny spends her days picking flies out of the peanut butter in Haven's Heavenly Peanut Butter Factory.” Aunt Martha’s peanut butter is the only similar product that is guaranteed to stick to the roof of your mouth. Doris Heinold is a daring hot-rod driver, who drives her 1934 Ford down to the winner’s circle every time she races. Virginia Trombino lives in solitude in the backwoods of Bradford with her fifty-five beloved Siamese cats. She can no longer speak the English language, having become completely feline in her manner of speech. Edwin Kenyon, a famous entomologist at the Moscow Museum of Natural Mistory, is exhibiting his tarantula spider which measures six feet in diameter. He found this in the deepest Everglades of Florida. William Knowles, a member of the expedition when the spider was found, was severely bitten by it. The disastrous effect of this bite causes him to dance and caper continuously. Angeline Vetelino has just announced her engagement to the suave Aly Kahn, Jr. Hope Whitehead, who sings while her father plays tuba, is often spoken of as a second Margaret Truman. Peggy Main and Evelyn Wilcox, the Mermaid Twins, are owners of a plumbing establishment. They swim through the pipes if they cannot find the trouble any other way. The Palumbo twins are owners of the fabulous “Gleaming Dice Casino” at Monte Carlo. This is the most unscrupulous establishment of its kind in existence. Anna Pellegrino, known for her long, delicate, slender hands, demonstrates Smelly Joe’s Hand Cream. Barbara Sawyer, one of our best research scientists, in her short career of 15 years, has developed a cure for baldness and love sickness. Richard Comtois has put on the market that new exotic perfume, Sunflower No. 3, which is guaranteed to be irresistible to all types of men. —18 -—

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The Senior Year Book — 1952 Fred Ferraro travels from the North Pole to Nectar Falls, Mars, daily. His amazing occupation is baby sitting for the two hundred children of Emperor Zippo of Mars. He is one of the greatest baby sitters of all times. Catherine Geary, Hedda Hopper of the Universe, is familiar with all the great stars of our world and of the planets that revolve around our sun. In Alaska, as we were passing by the Sun Dial Express Railroad yard, we noticed a former classmate, Victor Finizio, who was presently holding down the position of King of Eskimo Hobos. Robert James, a famous hot-jet-rod driver, won the 1971 Indianapolis Speedway race by driving his jet at nine hundred miles per hour after losing two wheels. We found in the city of Shang-ri-la, on the waterfront, Samuel Fusaro. He was telling the gathering children of his hair-raising experiences on the sea. Peggy Loomis has given Watch Hill, Rhode Island, universal fame by making it the starting off place for her brilliant swimming of the Atlantic Ocean. Her trainer, Shirley Sullivan, followed her all the way aboard the lie de France, the oldest seagoing liner in existence. David Dower, Major Colonel Lieutenant of the Northwest Jet Mounted Police, is now on the baffling case of the “Disappearing Flapjack.” Rudy Federico, BBS, PhD., is now in the middle of his world-famous case defending Mrs. Vanderpoff, formerly Marjorie Holland, in the jackknife slaying of her seventh husband, Lord Percivale. Arthur Smith, one of the better carpenters of Westerly, has just developed a hammer capable of driving screws. Robert Serra, Professor of Fine Arts at Harvard and one of the best Literary Critics of our times, has recently, together with the former Eleanor Eccleston, written such stirring letters as to put those the Brownings wrote to shame. David Smith, otherwise known as the Walter Winchell of 1952, reports all the scandalous events of Folly wood. Peter Brophy is on the Womanless Isle. He spends his life meditating and reading literature of the old masters. Richard Barnes is now head librarian in the New World Government, which is situated at Westerly, Rhode Island. Eugene Brown, leading a jet invasion to Mars, received the Chautreuse Heart for his gallantry demonstrated while suffering the intense agony of a splinter in the brain. Lucille Brown is operating most efficiently a steam shovel for the Ace Construction Company. Salvatore Chiaradio, Ambassador, Lord, Baron, Marquis of modern rebuilt city of Norwich, just put through the legislature his famous bill “Dog Suffrage.” Edith Burdick, Susan Cimalore, Eunice Cam-panelli, fantastically hair-raising acrobatic jugglers, have recently made their debut on smele-vision. Peter Cofone, Professor, C. C. Ph.D., has written a new book entitled “I Can Teach You Italian in Twelve Hours.” All the wofld awaits the colossal publication from Milano. John Koulbanis—the orator who, by his rhetorical powers, convinced the world that no other city or town could compare with Westerly, Rhode Island. Through his tireless effort Westerly became the seat of the World Government. Hobart Livingston is retired to his private library spending his days and nights in an endeavor to attain the knowledge which he failed to acquire in his reckless youth. Just a housewife is sweet, gentle Patty Geyer, as she tends her twelve “Cheaper by the Dozen” loving children. Raymond Marra, following in Mr. Foster’s footsteps, is now teaching history in his alma mater, Westerly High. Bernice Greene, Admiral Greene, commanding officer at New London communication center, takes particular joy in lording it over her humble spouse. Janice Howard is director of a huge, lucrative basket-weaving industry in inner Mongolia.

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The Senior Vicar Book — 1952 Rose Ann Piezzo, Rhumba Queen at the Purple Cat Night Club, has just developed some new routines. Mildred Saretzki, owner of the Saretzki Diamond Mines in Ashaway, and one of the world’s wealthiest and most charming women, is now living on her fabulous Newport estate with five cars, three yachts, and a 25-person staff of servants. Harry Crandall, the second Rudolph Valentino, even better than the first, is now starring in the greatest romantic motion picture—“Outlawed from District No. Six.” Sandra Pinney is one of the World Government’s best undercover agents. In F. B. I. A. circles she is known as “always-get-your-man Pinney.” Shirley Salimeno is a trained nurse authorized to attend sick goldfish. She was the first to give artificial respiration to a goldfish. Norman Crowell—We found in the heart of Paris' fashion center the fabulous unique “Joe's Salon owned and operated by Monsieur Crowell. Shirley Regester is truck driver for the “Run 'Km Down” Trucking Agency. Her truck is a 25-ton 5-axle Hydro-Diesel truck which she drives from New York to California every day. George Cruickshank, alias “Knuckles George,” just received the title Mr. Universe of 1972. His pictures appears on every bar of Munchy Wunchy Hydrogen Chocolate Candy. Shirley Parker is head of the Commercial Department at Stonington High School, Connecticut, U. S. A. So stern is she that her students call her “Stone-Face Parker. Not one giggle is allowed in her classes. Richard Davis has been on the banks of the flowing Nile digging up dinosaurs and bones of prehistoric man for the Institute of Natural History in New York. Lyall Spargo, Gaudy Spargo,” owner of Spargo’s Mortuary, has just developed a five-day lay-away plan. Alice Spino, head chef for the VV aldorf-As-toria, has just released the recipe for a pickle split smothered with whipped cream. Sarah Stanton hands out the Bromo Seltzer. Norman Tougas is assistant to his great idol. Professor Samuel Barber, at the New Government Institute of Carpentry. The sub-basement maid of the wealthy Mrs. Aloysius Van Burp, Katherine Parnigoni, goes zipping through her work in record time with the help of the James vacuum cleaner. Gail Martin, spectacular lion tamer, is the first woman ever to challenge the lion to put his head in her mouth. Sam Urso in his swank New York penthouse apartment gives fabulous parties for all the prominent people of the theatrical world. Louis Vitterito, working in the Salt Mines of Siberia, met and married Rodora Creampuss, once the top woman wrestler of our day. Louis has been in and out of the hospital several times. Anna Mello, well-known psyschiatrist, has pried further into the human mind than Shakespeare, Socrates, and Plato combined. Fred Vocatura is compiling time-tables for the intricate and complicated schedules of the great Zip Railroad Line. % Harold West has just bred a cow that produces hot chocolate with whipped cream. Ramona Murphy and Maisie Sheldon are vying for the title “Queen of the Roller Derby.” They move so quickly that they are just a blur to the audience. James Wilcox is one of the world’s greatest bankers, but because of his unscrupulous business dealings, he has gained the nickname of BLACKHEARTED WILCOX. James Wills—manufacturer of that famous spot remover guaranteed to eat the spot out of any material. David Wright—Curly Wright, who wrestles weekly at the Los Angeles Arena and appears on television, is largely responsible for keeping television alive. Fred Dawley—We saw him down on his New England farm with his twelve children and 450-pound wife. He has a world-wide reputation as the developer of a fancy breed of hens that lays no eggs.